Hanging On To Trauma

There is this hypothesis
I unjustly
and perhaps traumatically
just made hard and patriarchally up
is not down
and retentatively not out
soon enough for healthy comings
and goings

A ridiculous theory
that straight homophobic preachers
and teachers,
and kings,
and rabbis,
old crows
and magpies

Throughout too rich history
seem to have trouble with constipation below
and running of the capitalistic mouth

In response to multigenerational fear
of back door satanic predation
and politics
and financial rape.

Perhaps there is some cause for Buttenda Party fear
of RightWing fascist anger,
who knows,
this GWM
on my best days
and most lascivious nights
not one to wave my LeftBrain privileged credentials

As if worried
about my natural-spiritual collateral
mind embodied endowments

Badly experienced with weaponized capital
fat headedism,
invasive win/lose patriarchal intent
to punish
with Old Testament monotheistic
judgmental Great White Father predations

Hard and erect militarized enforcement corporations
seeking a return to peek
at peak AnthroSupreme monopolistic mountainous
control during non-sabbath
business as usual desecrating economic
worship on humiliated knees

To this day
offering well-endowed access
to pre-elective filthy rich political communication

v BottomItch and Stretch,
more cooperatively in and out
communion co-invested sacred gay incentives

No Win/Lose partisan BlackHole vacuous
chaos and confusion of feelings barred
as long as your WhiteSugar Daddy
leaves you dripping in white-washed compensations
for insufficient endowments

From God’s rich exclusive grace
for Royals and Food Too Rich Governors
with Heaven above
and Hell below
pre-eminently appositional
1Me v (0)ther dispositions
of a BlackHole violating

With regard to StraightMale Rabbis
in particular digestive dismay

I have this other
BothTrauma/AndTherapy hypothesis
about chronic paternal empathy
administering the britis
as it had been delivered
by YHWH’s AnthroSupreme command
to him

At infancy,
when intimate neurosensory networks
were most aggressively developing
fast as revved up cancer

So, perhaps, for this painful time
perhaps delivering pleasure down
under felt much better
and safer
as pleasantly compared
to flaming pains
of upfront boychild Trauma

Now revisited each time
he sees and hears
and smells and touches
another holy britis

I wonder if BlackHole pleasure
becomes chronically anxious
as trauma avoidant constipation

Remembering monopolistic sufficiency concerns
about cracking down and out
on desires vaguely hard
and predative
pushing peak relief from repressed
suppressed experiences.


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