Author Archives: gdill52

Glowing blue and red neural pathways against a star-filled cosmic background
Uncategorized

Testosterone Caste Privilege

One of my several disabilities
of personal knowledge
through experience
and, therefore, empathic intelligence,
is to know what estrogen-driven “horniness”
might feel like,
look and sound like,
taste and smell like.

Gay men require alternative
deviant paths
toward green/blue/red
ultra-nonviolent
cooperatively owned
and perpetually self/other-managed
panentheistically mediated
open WholeEarth systemic
ecofeminist peaceful experience.

I suspect a primal contrast
between an empty holed
deep chakra longing for compassionate relationship,
rather than a pole-addicted belonging
to assertive plundering
the newest available warm wet
unwhole hole,
might be one way
of contrasting secularized patriarchal privilege
with matriarchal holistic submission
to eco-political windy waves
of increasingly rabid aggression,
unilaterally pleasure polarized
and further polarizing capital-headed dominance
of debate horniness
rather than dialogue compassions.

Which brings me to my strong ability,
outgoing,
discontinuously flowing,
capacity to feel and know
smell and taste testosterone-driven “horniness”
of re-membering experience,
although not necessarily that well re-ligiously contemplated,
reflecting on how I might re-connectedly improve
continuous, rather than discontinuous, win+win outcomes
and thereby abolish future win v lose testosterone-caste disasters
of sexual
sensual
sensory
spiritual+natural sentient+conscious practice,
compassion practice,
pleasure+passion practice
until I get testosterone+estrogen horny us
at least imaginatively crown+root balanced,

Left dominant red
and right recessive green/blue
states of humane-peace+divine-justice
body+brain bright toned passion

Because that, “passion”
and power
and energy,
may become sense-synonymous
“horniness”
felt and emergently known

Balancing exterior structured
cognitive spaces
and
Ionic harmonic interior flowing
affective revolving co-binary
trans-rationally felt
positive longing
and negative not yet belonging
empty co-passioning times

Whether testosterone
or estrogen
or some bisexual multicolored culture,
some multicultural crown-rooted chakra integrity
of these two
become one ego+eco-rooted
in cosmic polyphonic
polypathic win+win re-ligioned democracy,

EcoPolitically seen
when compassionately heard,

EcoBiologically felt
when passionately touched,

SocioNeurologically tasted
when co-empathically smelled

With win+win informing+exflowing gratitude
cooperative testosterone+estrogen attitude

Compassionate multiculturing global energy
of sufficiently bicameral
disciplined ambient powers

Non-violently mediated integrity’s
deep learning opportunity

Even while facing manic
anthropocentric runaway rabid
capitalistic
patriarchal
heavily testosteroned
dominating
caste privileged
narcissistic
horny
prickly
polarizing passions of great unraveling
unease
about climates of potential
integral Anthro-health+Earth-wealth
lost to yesterday’s EcoPolitical disease

Anthropological
narcissistic decline
formerly known as
“male chauvinist pig”
dispassionate consciousness
and displeased sentience.

Standard
Glowing interconnected nodes and lines forming a network in space
Uncategorized

Bertrand Russell’s Systemic Passions

Bertrand Russell
was intrigued by systems theory,
appalled by systemic racism
within himself and others,
corporations and churches
not recognizing each other’s wisdom
also found in temples and synagogues
and community investment banks
and poor houses.

He was also interested in political philosophy,
power of aristocrats
anticipating growing personal economic despotism
offering no respite
to green/blue democratic EarthLovers.

A contemporary of Einstein’s,
who shared Russell’s political philosophy
and perhaps his interest in 4Dimensional
prime negentropic space+time
co-arising dipolar bicameral
spatial+integral
cognitive+intuitive
physical+metaphysical systems
also sort of bilaterally co-binary

Russell writes,
“The reason physics has ceased to look for causes
is that, in fact,
there are no such things.
The law of [unilateral linear] causality
is a relic of a bygone age,
surviving, like the monarchy,
only because it is erroneously supposed
to do no [winner v loser, either/or leftbrain dominant bipolarizing] harm.”

Here, Russell’s parenthetical analogy
betrays his political philosophy
favoring naturalpir+spiritual both/and co-arising systemic democracy
of We Potentially Healthy MultiCultural EarthPeople
causing and prolonging
monoculturing
narcissistic autocratic fantasies,
anthropocentric EarthExploiting MonoTheistic Emperors.

Systemic power-with-other sentient beings
travels from caste-down to caste-up,
like root systems toward flowers,
nutritionally causal
secondarily, effected communication flowing back top to down,
like seeds embedding in Earth’s co-invested future
polyculturing fertile soil
bearing multi-restoration
springing anticipated win+win
both/and synergetic fruits

Co-arising in polyphonic apposition
complementary
mutually virtuous
more normatively resilient
than win v lose bipolar challenges
of vicious monoculturing,
too audaciously self-delusional
short-term overpowering aggressors

Like
leftbrain dominant
straight white western male predators
overlording polyculturally rich Gaia-Earth
of original nature+spirit win+win
systemic peace therapy
in which each individual ego-being
is EarthMother sacred
eco-politically born
integral and organic

For growing neurosystemic
cooperative green energy,
power-with-democratic Other,
co-binary empowerment,
co-lateral caste-abolishing enlightenment
of integrity’s systemic multiculturing potential
for climate health

Internally ego-inspiring spiraling spiritual
as externally natural rooted
organic ecosystems of co-passion
reversing monoculturing exhaustion
exploitation
expiration.

Standard
Six people assembling a colorful circular puzzle around a tree-of-life design
Uncategorized

Attachments and Aversions

I wonder if
what Buddhist meditation teachings
refer to as “attachments”
and “aversions,”
a medical doctor
might label with different words,
such as addiction
and dissociative diversions.

In both frames
illusions may be recognized
and respected
as deep opportunities to learn;

Illusions and delusions are depreciated
as too risky
not to repress with blame
and suppress with shame
devoid of any therapeutic
transporting
transformative
transparent (not self-shaming)
and vulnerable (not other-blaming)
communication
with our performing EgoTherapist minds
and our engaging EcoTherapist bodies

Illusions, illustrations,
dreams and fantasies,
losses and gains,
attachments that can become obsessions
compose sensory attractions

Whether smells and tastes,
touch and feelings,
sights and sounds,
exterior reception or interior inception

May have potential
to therapeutically transport
away from addictive-compulsive behaviors
and ideations
toward a less self-obsessed integrity

Away from impulsive self-serving,
potentially predative, anthropocentric
caste preserving attractions

And toward co-passionate
and resilient pleasure

Cooperatively intended
hoped
good-faithed
good-humored

Loved,
eco-politically
and personally
and bilaterally
bicameral ego+eco integral wealth
mind+body synergetic health

Becoming completely satisfied
sufficient
simple
centered in HereSpace+NowTime

Learning from past sensory satisfying memories
informing future images
imagining resonant and resilient pleasures
climatically encompassing
all of the above
compassion+pleasure.

Addiction to cooperative multicultural
multigenerational
regenerational
and bicameral left+right
bilateral spirit-mind+nature-body
peak sensory experiences
present healthier passions and pleasures
than addictions to competitive mono-culturing
and mono-theistic
and caste preserving predator v prey
sensory risk ambivalence inside
and systemic trauma impinging
from outside

Where relationships don’t necessarily smell
or taste inviting,
don’t necessarily feel gratifying to touch
or feel inside my mind+body,
don’t transformationally transport
when compromised win v lose truth is heard
but win+win beauty is not seen,
falling short of healthy co-passion
for EarthMother’s vast polyamorous
multi-colored wealth
of ultra-nonviolent
multisensory
caste abolished
sacred+organic
EarthTribe integrity.

Standard
Weathered stone passage opening onto a flower-filled garden
Uncategorized

Gospel of Audacious Democracy

Are you,
or have you ever been,
a Trumpist?

Asks the Restorative Justice Committee
inviting an open discussion
with Christian evangelicals
about traditional green
global
gospel
Body of Christ loyalties

And how this anticipation
of restoring justice
through green/blue healthy democracy climates
and unred-undominating polyamorous peace
has been influenced,
or not,
by EarthPatriotic repentance.

In hindsight,
said a representative
of the StraightWhiteMale Clergy Association,
I first began reflecting on

Who is my social capital competitiveness
willing to sacrifice,
to bully,
shun,
ignore,
snub,
disempower,
leave behind
because of their hopelessly unclean sin?

So I could more clearly emerge
among my monotheistic caste peers
as an orthodox MAGA ‘winner’

A judging God of Retributive Justice emulator,
blamer and shamer,
not listening mis-communicator,
winner v loser evolutionist
of an anthropocentric
slowly degenerating
undivine
not redemptive EarthView.

Willing to sacrifice
and capitalistically exploit Earth Her sacred Self,
in my silent shaded closet
focusing on a rapturous Heavenly climax
after the straight white Father’s great self-righteous
rapacious red rage.

Which is something rather punishingly different
and anxiety reproducing
as compared to anticipating
a green EarthBound Rapture
catalyzed by healthy democratic empowering
and cooperatively enlightening restoration
of egoMind+ecoBody
therapeutic Earth Justice.

What, of your own potential integrity,
internal multicultural interests
and faith-filled curiosities,
is your current internal monocultural win v lose efficiency
for hoarding currencies of social success markers,
such as “annual six figure income”?

I’m not sure I understand your question.
Is our household income over $100,000?
Am I a faithful federal military-industrialized taxpayer?
Yes, of course.

What and whom are you willing to leave behind
wound
kill
starve
boycott
excommunicate
impeach
lock up?

How do your faith communities shut out awareness
of other green restorative currencies for success,
such as win+win integrity,
multicultural, multigenerational neighborhood social synergy,
polyamorous commitments to inclusive consciousness,
to transparent authenticity,
to vulnerable sentience
willing to risk personal honesty
about closeted upper caste defensive deviancy,
feelings of undemocratic evangelical supremacy?

I’m hoping those are rhetorical questions?

Oh ye of little love without conditions,
faith inadequate to anticipate opportunity
to more deeply learn
who we are becoming together
as an inter-religious polycultural health wealthy tribe,
a global neighborhood communion of bodhisattvas,
a diverse mutually absorbing ultra-nonviolet community
free of dreaming up more red fear
and blue/green free for transparent cooperative curiosity
and winSpirit+winNature co-empowerment
and holistic EarthPeace co-enlightenment.

Now who’s bullying
and overpowering
and not effectively communicating
so much as competitively evangelizing?

Who and what do your religious dogmas
exclude from grace
that your spiritual and natural cultural interests,
your attractions and anxieties
would include as stretch goals
for better healthy wealth of communication
which includes respectful listening more
and preaching disregard less?

If you wouldn’t mind,
could we turn your question around?
How does eco-political you,
and how have we forever audaciously become,
gospel pro-life
polyamorous
ecotherapeutic
compassionate communicators?

Standard
Two hikers walking along winding trails in a mountain valley at sunset
Uncategorized

Integrity’s Promise

If I may suggest
a possible improvement
in mystic teachings
about healthy meditation experience,
structure,
discipline,
neurological
and psychological
and, in more advanced classes,
sociological consciousness
polycultural sentience
and political correctness

I would compassionately ask
if we have not spilled
rather too much word-filled ink
attending to cognitive awareness
and not enough
on affective
contextual
interdependently felt intelligence

Distinguishing subtle nuances
ambiguity
everyday mundane in-between nest
of empowering anticipation
(not merely win+win enlightened awareness)
and disempowering darker anxiety

Not just win v lose strategic
spiritual Me v unnatural Not-We
caste preservation consciousness.

Standard
Cozy porch reading nook with open book, plants, and forest view
Uncategorized

Porch Swing Questings

I have a lot of questions
questions
questions
he repeats
slowly creaking
and dancing
on our screened porch
peaking swing.

Radiant
in fiery ginger godliness,
mind centering omnipotence

He is so far ahead
of answers,
I feel embarrassed
to share them.

But, in not sharing
I become lost in caring
what he might think of me,
feel about we
without sufficient daring.

He swings anal retentive
in a whole new light
of previously unrepresented delight.

Ah! that could not be my question.
A hypothesis, perhaps
meriting further research;
new questings.

It feels important to me
this questing
for high and deep best male alert
dessert thick
and creamy,
dreamy wave of carnal delight,
absence of fright
or fight
in last and long dark nights
on seas of swings
just fucking right.

I want to squeeze
these pulsing questings
out of this maleness
female mess
so quickly
complexly asked
and chaotically given

Shriven
of clothes
but not masquerades
of closet questions
questing answers
not yet hard
and widely embraced
formed
invited graced queer notions

Of motions
and emotions
just right
and left
bilaterally in-between
bicameral lusts
and bisensual leisure
to swing all theories continuous
polypathic
polyphonic
polyvagal
polymetric
polyamorous ways

Of in
and out
and rebellious shout
for Earth’s most carnal freedom
of re-connecting
polycultural con-scientific re-ligioning
questions about straight and narrow
meets wide and deep

Why 1
slides so sexily
through 0
shape-shifting chakras
of natural
spiritual co-empathic pole
and holistic energy
like nuts
round bolts
and male
inside female bipolarities.

So many questions,
he gloriously proclaims
in majestic awe
meets lusty wonder

As his bi-gendered feet
gently invite
our graced swing
to sweep and seep defeat
with co-passioned
revolving Earth
back to Spring
and forth to Fall

One late summer morning
on our screened porch
secret secreting swing.

Standard
Silhouettes of hikers holding hands on a mountain ridge during sunrise
Uncategorized

Healthiest Wealth of EcoFeminism

We each and all have, I suspect,
a felt awareness
that patriotism
risks degenerating into fascism,
as loyalty
risks bullying.

Isolating nationalism
self-righteously defending weaponized caste supremacy
and patriarchal privilege of one’s State
moving toward fear-mongered isolationism
supporting competitive polarization
predative politicization
of “self-made” capitalism

Rather than appreciating our solidarity
as anthropocentric nations resting and wrestling
and co-investing
on interdependent continents
articulating green/blue loyalty
to the Gaia Hypothesis of Win+Win integrity
of self+other governance

And no less self-identified sacred State
of Father Sun
or organic Tribe
of Mother Earth,
avoiding dissociative incontinence
whenever possible.

Standard
Winding river flowing through hills at sunset with mountains in the background
Uncategorized

Heavenly Developments

Great
and small
spiritual teachers
glowingly preach
and promise disciplined pilgrim creatures
Nirvana,
Paradise,
Heaven,
featuring compassionate pleasures.

A timelessly perpetual climax
no natural teacher
this side of Eden’s regenerative garden
would dare speculate
we might reasonably anticipate
some great rewoven day
of universal redemption.

It is this Bliss,
too univocal
too monochromatic,
I begin to monotheistically question

If this climatic experience
is like a deep tight pond,
bright
yet stagnantly enclosed
in attractively fond

Rather than a continuously flowing river
of multicultural
multigenerational
polyamorous sensory experiences
spouting out from embodied pleasure mouths
back to light’s first faintly felt flicker

And forward
to bright’s most blissful moments
reflected
inflecting constant flowing functions
of powers robustly positive,
cooperative
compassionate changing paradise
returning me to this river
never entered
or exited
exactly this same fluid nirvana
conversing twice.

Not only because rivers
continuously flow
but also because humane identities
continue to curiously grow communion
sometimes far beyond any happy shores
our natural and spiritual teachers
have hoped to personally know.

Standard
Uncategorized

Grasping Exhaustion

Maybe it’s just ageing me.
So, I’m asking,
as focused yet open
as I could ever hope to encompass,
transparently vulnerable

Do negative correlations
distancing inhaling
from exhaling
EarthMother’s sentient WorldView
resemble, for you,
too,
a reverse correlation,
dipolar co-arising
appositional contrast,
in-between organically grasping on
and sacredly letting off?

I am not sure why
this question could be economically
or politically
or psychologically
or neurologically significant

In this time of great polarized
climate EarthHealth v EconomicWealth cultural crisis,
and yet,
it persistently seems so
as I attempt,
in my Earth-bound solitude,
to exhale and dissociate from
left hemisphere verbal
monopolizing
monotheistic
demanding anthropocentric dominance

To inhale and grasp toward
more right hemisphere nonverbal
co-passion communing physical therapy
re-associating
re-syncing metaphysical thought
and physical feeling
re-communing organic and sacred
re-ligioning

Green
and blue
and red
ultra-violet transforming
Earth’s climate health
grasping fresh inhalations
while exhausting stale patriarchal capitalism’s
straight white male preserving
reiterative hortatory,
Might Makes God Right

Grasping and exhausting reactionary nonresponsiveness
to our organic belongings
and sacred longings
for EarthHealth
and DemocraticWealth,
co-passionate points of WorldView.

Standard
Earth with bright blue and orange glowing lines representing digital network connections
Uncategorized

Power Analysis

Power analysis
traditionally follows investment
and divestment of money
and kleptocratic energy.

Which is all fine and good,
but, as I recall,
the truth of sustainable power trends
has more to do with the healthy beauty
and the unhealthy ugliness
of where we choose to start
our co-invested redemption narrative
and where we choose to end
fixation on independent
and anthropocentric
investment choices

Evolving from
our historical revolving global dance,
green/blue health regenerative
spiraling co-passion out
and holistically co-investing in
EarthTribe’s organic pleasure life

Sacred integrity’s
meaning fully saturated,
demeaning powers evaporated.

Standard