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BadBoy MonoTheists

Where do we think all this economic and politically empowering
cooperative
nutritional
organically luscious imagination
and ecologically exegetical orthopraxis
started?

George Lakoff speaks of strictly straight stern paternalistic God the Universalist Fathers,
vertically Winning over an otherwise Loser, yet highly competitive, ecopolitical world
and ecologically survivalist-separatist
human parasite-divine supremacist
nature-spirit dualist Western-Dominant straight-way
of seeing our origins
and ourselves,
or at least our father-figures,
ForeFathers,
ProGenitors of victorious Yang-Health Win/Lose
Left over RightBrain WinWin Dominant enculturation.

OK,
I may have added a few gaming elements,
paradigmatic essences which Lakoff
speaks of as if they may be associated with some other economically and politically normative and important words like
healthy v pathological climate,
spirit,
natural chemistry,
dynamic,
changing yet traditional ecological networking relationships.

In describing what I call LeftBrain ecopolitical Dominance,
and what he describes as patriarchal straight-stern Father Knows Healthy Competitive Best 1950’s Republicanism,
“Absolute categorization requires essences,
properties that define absolute categories.”
Patriarchs tend to be Win/Lose Universalists,
as nurturing Matriarchs therapeutically trend toward WinWin Unitarian-Integrationists,
polycultural nondual co-arising nature-spirit enrichment
over monocultural BadBoy too-competitive ecopolitics.

Strict Father evolutionary ecopolitical models,
also LeftBrain Enculturation-Language Dominant,
are more drawn to spiritual fundamentalist belief systems
while their Nurturing Matriarchal Networking RightBrain
looks toward root systems of natural-radical regenerative fertility,
requiring some fortunate/unfortunate ambiguity about the nature-spirit compete/cooperate essences
of ecopolitical gender categories.

RightBrain radical spiritual experiences may be suppressed,
but MotherEarth’s cooperative regenesis is not yet dead.

Because of my own Strict Father evangelical Christian Republican,
post-adolescent USA formative years,
I have a renewing appreciation for growing up damaged,
but still RightBrain basically healthy-balancing,
in an ecopolitical LeftBrain Patriarchal EgoDominant conservationist Republican-agrarian
and yet healthy nature-spirit Matriarchal understory family,
where I was part of the dominant
Whites-Only
monoculturing
separatist rural Michigan culture,
and also secretly queer as a two-dollar bill,
as we used to say
back in the anti-feminist day.

This combination eventually led me away from Fundamentally-Dualist God the Condemning Father
toward the Radical-NonDualist Goddess the Nurturing Nature-Spirit
LeftEgo-Right ElderSacred EcoPolitical Wisdom Literature
of Taoism,
and Unitarian-Universalism,
where the hyphen itself
tells the entire permacultural history
between pre-millennial Tao as (0)-sum balancing ecopolitical SpaceTime
spoken in bilateral dialects of Patriarch/Matriarch Yang/Yin CoOperative Enthymematic Communication,
to fill in my nondual natural-spiritual matriarchal feminist side,
which is much more fun
and a whole lot wiser
than without.

From this still-maturing vantage
I can see
that we can all bicamerally see
that ecopolitical-ecological fusion is to regenerative complexity (M. Csikszentmilhalyi)
as cooperative-comparative ecopolitical blurring is to chaos theory,
or Creolizing Political Theory, in Jane Anna Gordon’s vocabulary,
or Feminist EcoPolitical Theory.

Here I enjoy a more cooperative networking and balancing culture
of extended polypathic bicameral family values,
while still aesthetically appreciating Patriarchal Forms
of CoMessianic Nurturing Daddies
as also Bodhisattva Matriarchal MercyWarriors
restoring Peace and Climate Justice,
at their nurturing wise Solomonic best,
where we all began,
in RightMind ecopolitical prodigal potential Mommy’s Wombs,
living within Sacred MotherEarth’s climate prime Attachment
of Beloved CoOperative Left/Right contenting Health;
anonymous pre-embryonic Taoists.

LeftBrain ecopolitical and familial dominance
is more deeply etched in ‘nonEastern’ languaged
and nonverbally communicating/dissonating cultures,

(I dare not speak the LeftBrain WesternCapitalist Patriarchal Name
of strict means straight and stern Calvinist truth
more than also spiraling,
thermodynamically balancing,
double-binding fractal (0)-sum polypathic octave frequencies
of enlightnment,
CoOperative Nature’s Divinely Sacred Symmetric BiLateral Beauty)

Both verbally and nonverbally,
both familial and extended socially,
both economically and extended political power invested,
both competitively and cooperatively,
both authoritatively regenerative and nurturing-health responsibly,
it seems to me
these are the appositional polarities
around which each of our economic and political narratives
find their most nutritiously enlightening root systems
of ecological climate health as ego/eco-centric wealth.

The Donald looks more like the Court Jester
than the Earth Messiah.
Unfortunately,
now the BadBoy logical conclusion
of LeftBrain Dominant USA adolescently competitive ecopolitics
has even more power of the purse
and nuclear ballistics.
It’s like letting your kids
play with fire
while investing in more gasoline.
It just doesn’t feel healthy
or like wise wealth investment planning
to me;
more kind of LeftBrain Dominatrix-Delusional terrifying.

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Sabbath Prayers

EarthMother’s unwilling Emissary
asked each faith community
and patriotic party
what they thought and felt
about God’s preferential option for the poor,
despised,
criminal,
homeless,
wounded and powerless women and children,
physical disabilities,
sick,
terrified,
rabid with anger and fear,
enslaved,
addicted,
insane.

Does this sound like an accurate description
of your congregation,
your self-empowering party,
your communion of saints,
your synagogue,
your sanctuary–
or are these those who best remain outside
your ego-celebrating walls?

Why are eco-they
not ego-you
on Saturday or Sunday morning
through midnight?

Why are these not Sabbath communion participants
holding mutually cooperative
and graced space
together?

What would it take
to heal this apartheid Ministerial NonAlliance?

Our homeless youth
play a young person’s avoidance game
in which all indoor human voices,
especially those of self-anointed authority,
ministerial power,
principals of punishing study
and exclusive EitherIn/OrOut system,
administrators of capital egocentric gains,
are suspect.

These same voices
have gathered from sandy shores,
river boundary habitats,
wilderness downstream spaces,
toxic dump places,
to lead competing Ministerial Alliances
in a guided poly-path toward meditation:

Imagine
you are an African black
and Latin brown
and Earth green
and Fire red
and SunLight yellow
and Moon ultra-nonviolet
and Water transparent
and Air invisible thread,
both natural and spiritual,
within Earth’s multi-regenerational systemic network,
a tapestry sunclock-wise woven,
sunset before sunrise unwoven
north with southern dipolarities rewoven
prewoven across a universe of Time.

You have regenerative
and degenerative experiences
thoughts
feelings
choices
absence of choice,
external debates
and internal discernments,
and dialogues
in-between your LeftBrain doer thoughts
to save us sinners
and malformed win/lose supporters
and RightBrain becoming together feelings
to reweave
to cooperatively heal
resilient natural Earth systems
with resonant spirit-felt EcoOrigins

From BlackHole Wombed potential
toward wealth rainbow not-not vaporous knots
of double-binding resonant climate health,
internally right hemispheric
as external LeftYang enculturing compassion
interweaving threads
learning intersectional co-passioning resilience
in four prime-revolutionary
space-time dimensions.

Imagine
how much more health we could do
and wealthy be
together,
rather than subclimates and subcultures
competitively
and resentfully
apart.

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More Questions

Why is music
more emotionally important than rhetoric?

Why is grace-full dance
healthier than verbal prance?

So many questions
more important than private answers…

I question why
my faith community
provides sanctuary to legally-challenged immigrants
24/7,

And yet, has not actively opened our sanctuary
to local homeless and health-challenged emigrants from outside places
on Sunday mornings, nine to noon,
and during Wednesday evening choir practice,
and during Tuesday evening Green Sanctuary meetings
about Earth justice
and internal/external environmental-contextual fragility,
and other health challenges
for building multicultural well-being,
faith,
active hope

Resonant throughout this local place
and resilient throughout our global pace
monocultural race
of eco-theological climate space
and nurturing time

Sung in transparent octaves of music
more intuitively significant than rhetorical debate;
one heard cooperatively
and the other spoken to win ego-support
and loss to ecopolitical competitors,

Which is not criminal behavior
yet perhaps worthy of impeachment
and excommunication
for anti-communion behavior.

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Deep Primal Valleys

She darkly dreams in Anger Valley
discovered shortly after
Fear uncovered
by floating langorously downstream
to leave behind red hot footprints
of childhood work
and play
and pray for change,
health,
win/win co-passion healing,

Or terror aggressively swims upstream Fear
to warn future angels of light
against win v lose zero-sum evolving valleys
theoretically coming, climaxing frequent culture

Streams of chronic militarized lose/lose outcomes,
AngryGuilt and TerroristPanic,
predator v prey EarthClimate degenerations;

All regenerate Rapture hopes,
carelessly abandoned,
neglected,
dissociated,
disembodied abstractions
disarray
chaos.

Where first generation fear
predicts second generation anger
then moves forward
in ego-defying perpetuity,
self-fulfilling oppositional prophecies,

I can hate you
before you hate me more,

Only left-brain might makes RightWing reactions
against cooperative democratic
healthy
resilient
resonant
regenerative trust.

OverYang oppressions deny less frightened options
of Left with Right mutual multicultural balance,
deductive historic thoughts
with inductive cultural feelings,

Polypathic integrity,
secular with sacred PassionValleys,
NaturalPersons
with Ancient Originating DePersonalizing Spirit,
Ego within Ecological EarthResonance:

Primal ZeroZone Theology
flowing langorously/passionately
down and up YinValleys

Of Anger is
to reason
as Fear is
to passion.

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Commanding Solo Performances

It had been a hellish week.

On Monday
my lonely and tired AfricanAmerican husband
told me, as gently as possible,
that what I had hoped was a temporary separation
is to be extended into perpetuity.

This separation had been scheduled to terminate
when my Fetal Alcohol daughter turns eighteen
and can move into a new, more therapeutically endowed, home
not our non-group home
which could not feel like a private home to him
and to a more peacefully vulnerable me.

He told me his autonomy of residential sight
and sound
and smell,
temperature and feel,
thought and absence of forced transparent thought,
has grown ever more compelling for him,

Like a new life system
organically emerging from calcified minerals
mixed with melted wet.

This permanent separation,
less about not wanting to share a roof and walls
and multicultural floors
and more about wanting a more private
monotheistic habitat.

I had been working on my adopted daughter’s emergency group home application;
Her eighteenth, and first qualifying, birthday was Friday
of this same hellish week
filled with demands,
as usual,
but more so,
more self-prophetically entitled now;

A “big [supremely self-disempowering] girl”
as multiply messaged from school
and therapists
and family,
jonesing to live with submissive peers
who will best be lesser care receivers
as she intends to appropriate all care giving staff,

Demanding preferred foods,
and music
and stories
and dance,
and diaper change
and bed
and bath times
ignoring needs of lesser beings;

Like living with a constantly ticked off Gaia
showing us who’s our jealous Boss
in response to our climate endangering ways
of patriarchal colonization
disrespecting matriarchal communion,
ecological creolization.

Demanding routines she and I have evolved
since she was five,
unable to see up,
only downstream,
unable to hear well,
unable to speak in consonants
articulate enough to defy caregiver ignorance,
lack of subservient cooperation,
submission to her aggressively iron will,
triggering every slaveholder
property owner
reactionary nerve in my husband’s long-term
matriarchal-limned
unnerved memory.

Our more cooperative and trust-building relationship
soon took care of Gaia’s communication problems
but we created, thereby,
a princess entitled ‘I win so you lose’ monster
of immediate and really loud
NEED!

Yet, now that she is maturing to leave this nest,
how much do I need her
to keep me safely home at night
and off the larger terrifying climate stage
of degenerating ecopolitical performance?

On the following Sunday morning,
I was to sing “Let Your Little Light Shine”
a less popular spiritual,
and at least not unnatural,
gospel message;

A sung prayer from enslaved history,
humiliating origins surviving valleys of vulnerable despair
by holding up
and out
dim fading lights of hope,
sometimes accessible from other enslaved properties
with more resilient hope in green and brown and black
communion.

On Saturday night
my heart spoke of grief
lost in deep dark valleys
isolated
abandoned
down-sized
empty-nested
shallow-chested
ancient old person despair,

And my lungs sagged
pushing against narrow edges of freezing panic

Terror about forgetting left-brain words
and reminders of past sung and danced solo performances
not nearly as fun
enriching
fulfilling
health wealthy
as past group participation
in full-nested harmony
synergy
resonance
regenerativity
sacred communions spiritual
while naturally co-present

Green
and brown
and black,
ultra-nonviolet
and transparently clear.

On Sunday morning,
after earning a strategically planned
full night’s rest,
I felt much worse

Unable to imagine leaving my sanctuary
much less singing
much less performing
a song longing for the Lord
to shine even the faintest ray of hope
down into this valley of well-earned despair,

A grey climate of hopelessness,
nihilistic thoughts,
narcissistic preoccupations
trapped in a shrinking fragile egocentrism.

I took an anti-depressant
which got me to the church on time
but now feeling anxiously disembodied
within my own Beloved Sanctuary
too universally white
straight
and too removed from outside green
and family brown
and EarthTribe Native black resonant voices,
fragrances,
touch,
tasting and seeing.

I could not remember words,
or think of alternative reasonable sounds,
could not find my opening pitch,
felt deserted by a cappella
absence of accompaniment,
by a choir relegated to background support services
rather than foreground cooperative resonance
of care giving
co-passioning care receiving.

But, there was something else
bad,
REALLY bad,
a repugnance that stayed with me
through rehearsal,
through first
and then final performance
and on through the return home
after a technical tepid success
lacking the resonance of producing music
transcending rhythm and pitch and lyrics
demanding better held and managed light systems
for my self-isolating despair

Afraid of drowning
in this internal river valley.

Although not sure what happened Sunday night,
I awoke next morning to emotional fragility,
again
to fears of too much aloneness, loneliness,
worries about ageing in a place not quiet enough
from road rage
and too demanding of soil
and water
and energy stewardship,
warm accompaniment,
propriety of grace,
cooperative well-being.

What was different, on this reawakening,
was recognizing my,
and our,
monocultural misappropriation,
supremacist ideation
of “Let your little light shine”
as if we are, and I am,
the Lord’s great solo hope
for all the autonomous
disconnected
apartheid
indigenous nature/spirit
EarthTribe life-systems
of healthy care giving/receiving
singing and dancing in revolving circles
of gospel fire,

Choired resonantly together
in active shared home harmonies,
extending families back through enslaved ancestors
reminding an AfroCentric Lord
this light begins
from hope sung dance together
with multiculturally resonant intelligence

Leaving no one behind
trying to soulfully enlighten
my darkest valley of despair.

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When I Was Eight

I owned a warm breezed first Spring day
in radiantly refulgent sun
between billowed cumulative clouds
white as sailing sheets
on our vibrating
shaking and tugging cotton clothesline
swaying multi-colored tops
and sun bleached blue jean bottoms.

Like God,
I looked curiously
benignly
warmly down

As industrious ants
with apparently urgent missions
I would never learn how to assign
chewed and sniffed their singular ways
through a forest of shading grass
over dappled shadow soil

Vibrant blades of pointed grass
as tall as trees to ambitious worker ants
sometimes militaristic
but now peacefully recovering
discovering thawed warm roots
of cooperative deep dark Earth.

I could not own a wealthier Spring day
except just now,
at sixes with seven,
often remembering this polished day
and night dreamed moment
beside breeze blown white sailing ships
of sun-scent cotton state
breathing in under first fresh cut lawn
to notice how wee ants live
side-by-side
refurbishing
rubbing up against and with
warm lamped memories

Recreating paths
by imaginatively embodying them
yet again

This first-owned warm Spring breeze
of wistful
divine memory.

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White Dad Confession

I have USA raised
and LeftBrain Dominant branded
and capitalized
AfricanAmerican sons
disassociated from Earth
as a healthy,
caring,
inviting habitat for well-being,

Instead too narrowly focused on what Straight White Western Men think,
notice,
value,
monetize,
reductively compete to achieve

Too EgoCentric
AnthroCentric
Xenophobic
Earth-Alienated
to indigenously
timelessly cherish
what unwhite
unpatriarchal
unWestern
unviolent
uncolonizing
uncapitalizing
unhomophobic
Species of healthy wealth regeneration
cooperatively remember
and perhaps even 20-20 re-imagine
sensually
deductively
inductively
thought and felt,
yanged and yinned

ComPassion
Love
Solidarity
Integrity
Resonance
Resilience
Robust Regenerativity

So much more
than life-as-slow-dying objectives like
Avoid prison
Avoid police
Avoid criminalized economic behavior
Avoid shamed and blamed political misbehavior
Avoid Xenophobically Colonizing
Incorporatizing White Western Male
Capital MonoTheistic Ownership

Yet also
Avoid CoOperative CoInvestment
Avoid SacredEarth Communion
Avoid EcoFeminist Persuasions
Avoid Healthy WealthCare Giving and Receiving…

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