I received one of these in the mail today,
and would like to know if you got one too:
Please see enclosed survey for all current and prospective residents of the United States,
to articulate the fullness of your positive reasons for wishing to remain/relocate within these same United States,
and for fully disclosing the emptiness of your negative reasons for wishing to remain/relocate.
Thank you so much for your cooperation.
We will review your application and those demonstrating greatest potential for multicultural strength
and nurturance of our future economic and political health
will receive your annual invitation to pay your federal taxes,
or, for those wishing to relocate,
to pay your requisite fees and transportation expenses.
If you do not hear from us for the next four years,
please do not be surprised or disappointed;
and please do not bother to call us.
We are not listening,
and that continues to be your problem; doesn’t it?