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50th Reunion Remembrance

Thinking back on my all White
but One,
all Right
but One,
classroom learning experience,

I can see why
many of my straight white male classmates,
especially those with early varsity team excellence
and above average grade point systems
tipping toward future capital-valued employment
might feel disappointed,
sometimes angry,
about what feels like insufficient lifetime affirmation,

Hungering for more
environmental messages:
We are positive providers,
a healthy addition to history,
a wealthy contributor to our military-industrious society.

Yet,
to receive globally ubiquitous messages
warning of climates degenerating
instead of continuing business as formerly usual regenerating,
as we become run-away capitalist libertarians,
kleptocratic,
educator- and clergy-led to disproportionately expect
from generous Gaia
or fair and merciful God
active support for listening to straight while male prophets
of sin and dualistic gloom
and retributive judgments from an OldSchool
Angry
Jealous
Conservative of White StatusQuo God,

Rapturous EndTimes that do not remember
elite histories
of varsity team excellence,
and first chair performance
in all straight white adolescent symphonies,
and above average discernment of strategic tipping points,

Eternal Raptures
that predict sinful Earth will flood
and hurricane
and melt
and quake
and burn
burn
burn

While all straight white hats
and RightWings of angels
and saints arise to an escapist Heaven
free of healthy green ecological systems
and unfree of multiculturally wealthy theological egosystems,

To live happily
and uniformly unstraight and ungay and untrans
and unmale and unfemale
and unblack and unwhite
and unbrown
and unchanging
and unyoung and unold
and unrepublican and undemocratic
and unautocratic
and unkleptocratic
and uncooperative and uncompetitive
and unfamilial and uncommunitied
and unapartheid and unmonocultural
and yet maybe polypathic
and polyphonic
and even rationally polynomial

In some abstract trnsmutation
inside/outside bilateral ways and means
of timeless
eternal revolutionary theological understanding.

All this unrapturous Rapture confusion aside,
It still seems petty,
to my gay white male frame of mind,
that so many of my straight brothers and sisters
and classmates,
and Sunday School extended family,
claim discrimination against us
when our actual experience has, at worst,
known and felt insufficient affirmation
for all our elitist climates of fragility,
ecological,
theological,
economic capital,
psychological,
sociological
monocultural,
ethological,

Habitually addicted
to concluding all sinful nature
is a pathological win/lose risk,
rather than hopeful,
diversely embodied,
healthy spirits
of integral win/win resilient opportunity

To heal climates
inside/outside restorative
and 2020 revolutionary.

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