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Abortive Trauma Tales

When you and your wife visited,
you shared a question asked by a pastor
of a raped
and thereby pregnant
vulnerably young and questioning parishioner.

“If your unborn child survived
his first year
and walked back into your home
do you think you would still want to kill him?”

Probably not,
I’m thinking.
And,
perhaps more pastorally significant
and responsible,
how can we, in resilient compassion for ourselves
and for those who trespass against us
mitigate sacred rage
against ancient sins of our predative Fathers?

The next morning
over coffee and breakfast
your wife told a surprising story
of meeting a woman
in a Carolina church basement
who boldly claimed to be
an unapologetic pagan

Certainly not repenting;
more like recruiting

UnStraight out proud wiki
without thinking that might be an appropriate sin
for inviting healing prayer
rather than embracing
as if possessing a pure and virtuous soul
matriarchally regathering
HolyEarthPeace Spirits.

Your wife’s response
cautiously avoided Retribution Is Mine!
weaponized words,
another patriarchal sin of our historied Fathers

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that before”
right out in public
toward lunchtime on a bright spring day
and certainly not in a ChristChurch basement

I silently wondered why your wife did not seem to feel
this pagan should be aborted

Stoned to death
or at least hanged
for defying the Good News
of Straight White King James
colonizing Jesus.

If there was a conversation about how many pagans may feel
about abortion of healthy tribal lives
or Great White Father rape,
or the somewhat wider history
of patriarchal predation against matriarchal wisdom
she did not mention such old crone witchery

Studying dark theistic codes of dueling history
usually tolerating abortions of Othered human lives
for exceptional survival reasons
emerging throughout traumatic transition years
for various viciously circling reasons

A well-capitalized
verbally articulate
personalized monotheistic God
might appear to be against
polytheistic Muses and Witches and Goddesses
within EarthTribe mind-spirited space,
political place,
economic race

On the Othered,
and safely aborted, hand
pantheistic spiritual commitments
supporting multicultural
animistic
pantheistic
panentheistic
polycultural respect
may more resiliently redevelop
sacred
sentient
holy spirited life
at the EarthTribal
universally uniting EarthPeace level
of sacred passion

Respect for our interdependent thriving lives
does not mean we are not also
abortionists to survive the trauma
of invasive felt predations,
biological
and ecological
and theological
and political.

Divine respect for co-infested fertile life
might include respect for death
and gratitude for EarthTribe lives sacrificed

As we hold hands
and bow our heads
with gratitude
for hungry stomachs satisfied,
for sacred quenching waters,
outs and ins of healthy bodies,
backs and forths of wealthy minds

With trust our thirst
for tribal trust
does not imply that when and what I swallow,
I abort

And do not also co-invest
in this our cooperative resilience

Health care giving
and receiving
EarthTribe sentient wealth

Respect for dark
deeply raging
patriarchal trauma
does not imply
disrespect for more therapeutic
matriarchal light.

And just so,
I reversely suppose,
universal peace
uniting holy spirited respect
for resilient
brilliant sentient life

Does not imply
disrespect for trauma,
despair
and death

Which I had been struggling with
when you and your wife visited,
and you shared your story
of a raped
and thereby pregnant
young and traumatized parishioner.

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Working With Theories

I’m working on this Systems Theory

All existing formal religious traditions
and informal spiritual experience
of Great Sacred EcoLogical Transitions

[e.g. Blue Holocene to
Green AnthroScene]

Originally,
through our divine monotheistic
and/or polytheistic
and/or atheistic naturalistic
shared one root curiosity system
of healthy resilient enculturing nutrition:

“I’ll believe it
when I can see it,
or hear it,
or maybe safe to smell it,
but probably not safe to taste it,
feel it

Feel spiritually interested
and/or naturally disinterested
in my own personal sensual peak
and valley inside experiences,
yet also our professional education
and empowerment-driven
unconditional integrity
of warm cooperative
co-invested win/win therapeutic intent

Born of body/mind neural root systems
and delivered for
restoring wounded sacred Earth’s
indigenous Physical Resilient HealthSystems
are also MetaPhysically Resonant
Mental Win/Win Synergetic FaithSystems

ReInterReLigionReFlecting
Yang/Yin BiPartisan Balancing
Natural Economies of Resilient Health Justice
also produce Spiritually Resonant Wealth
of Peace

AnthroPrivileged,
but not competitive ZeroSum;
more Whole Open Holistic
green cooperative

FatherSun
LeftBrain dominant
verbal enlightening
do not emerge from
Closed MonoCulturally Defensive Systems

dipolar co-arising

Sacred Organically Receptive MotherEarth
RightHemisphere prominent multisensory
indigenously nature/spirit rooted
natural economic nutritional health
systems:

cooperative Win/Win
positive sacred co-relationship thrival
robustly complex networks

win/lose survivalist competitive
ecopolitical apartheid corporate transactions

lose/lose negative desecrating trauma-despair
chaotic anti-communion fading egosystems

bipolar not-not polynomially unbalanced
degenerating

Sacred MotherEarth
spiritually panentheistic
naturally synergetic
ergodic co-balancing energy
positive-1/not negative-0
AnthroPrivileged bicameral balancing health care
neuro-sensory communication systems

Remembering
matriarchal ancient-lined
ringed
circling
spiraling birthing
baptismal waters
within universal
unconditional
unitarian co-empowering
Original Win/Win EarthMother
peak emergent health is wealth
warm and wet womb
formed and flowing
integral spacetime rebalancing
1-Yang/0-Yintegral co-balancing
Whole Open HealthSystems
incubating mutual warm regard

For bilateral sacred enlightened peaks
umbilically reconnecting
co-empowering valleys

Panentheistically still lurking
in all current quietly mindful
through past nutritional faith-based traditions,
this quiet cooperatively co-invested hope
against all win/lose treasons
of win/win healthy resilient
love reasons

PolyCultural positive perception
was originally rooted in
natural food and elimination
and reproductive
ecological resilient co-operating systems,
organisms,
biospheres surrounding ego-core identity systems,
plants and living planets.

Sure,
in this more modern monotheistic branch
of ancient faith traditions
on our Tree of Sacred Indigenous Knowledge,
predative privileged light
and evangelical right
to identify
quantify
define and refine
percentage of God’s sacred
humane individuation

As compared against
a monoculturing GoldRuled Standard
StraightWhiteMale supremacist
LeftBrain nouned
monotheistic renouned right to control
exclusive sacred narratives
of divine light’s full manly power
to control all warm nutritioning
water co-gravitating ReSources

Lurking quietly
in poetry and psalms
and parables
of matriarchal sacred history

Rooted in nature-based
oral traditions,
psalmody
indigenous nondualistic wisdom literature

Not quite so over-invested
in militarized religious war events
witnessed
and victimizing
in potential win/win ways often ignored
by global ecological history

To write down mythology
and passion narratives
and bodhisattva cooperative
green co-invested
restorative justice healing ceremonies,
passion story telling

Vulnerably personal
and yet transparently professional
ego/ecosystemic open
natural mindbody healthcare
resilient history
iconic, sometimes ironically,
of spiritual eco-panentheistic
indigenous wisdom
Gaian wealthcare synergetic
ancient EarthGoddess integrity
of neuro-organic resonant mystery

Still playing with Her win/win
faith-based resilient
EarthJustice theory

Trauma-informed remains
for explaining to a win/win undamaged child
wondering, in face of emergent ecocide,
why would sacred MotherEarth
think it was a good highest and best use
of valuable organic real estate
to over invest in AnthroPrivilege?

So, I’m playing with this win/win
restoring healthy
wealth co-optimizing
empowering and enlightening
Yang/Yin bilateral ego/eco-resiliently felt
brilliant win/win re-connecting
neurosystemic ancient thrival
organic systems history
of AnthroPrivileged
positive co-relational
lurking sacred mystery theory.

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DisEngaging Privilege

ReEngaging Integrity

How might the ego-narrative
of a sacred Tree
speak most profoundly
of old growth economic
and political
environmental trauma?

How might MotherTrees
avoid sacred Self-serving
by secularizing Other-deserving
separating and unequal
StraightWhiteMonoTheisticMale privilege
to punish
disturbing chronic anxiety
approach/avoid issues of mind/spirit integrity
about being personally fed and bred
through not healthy best separate,
but more co-related,
and not a sustainably healthy organism
or wealthy unequal organization
AND [more saliently sacred]

A historically patriarchal-capitalist
LeftBrain verbal monoculturing
anthro-supremacist vendetta
against the unconditionally warm co-passionate
communion communication
expected of a MotherTree
in a healthy, robust forest

Constantly repurposed
and mined
and pumped
and glorified,
grasped
and let go,
squeezed in
and freely exhaled,
to embrace
and release
Other’s Mother MinoriTree narratives

To discover what Her AnthroTree words
and nomials
variables uncovered
and co-relationships
recovered
positive and negative correlations
balanced and rebalancing
exclamatory peak
and declamatory valleyed phrases

Her ecocidal non-applause pause
might betray
negative core EarthLife feelings
emerging slow-grown
Anthro-panentheistic
inter-religious
multiculturing
creolizing
co-passion

And monotheistic despairing loneliness
of self-love EarthLoss of Life
eternal isolation

Of love and monoculturing hate
and fear and polycultural rebate

Of Win/Win surprising Aha! peak experiences,
ecstatic and/or exotic and/or erotic,
and Win/Lose frustrations
and sadness
about kinda stupid malevolent competitions,
while prying for more therapeutically peaceful
outcomes.

How might the TreeEgo’s trauma narrative
disengage from ecocidal Lose/Lose despair
to search for deeper roots
toward Earth health care
through restoring therapeutic justice
and cooperative peace repair

Restoring ego/communal
bilateral
bipartisan
cooperative TaxPayer-Ego/Eco Justice

Embracing universal warm
unconditional health care values

Discovering
uncovering extended pre-historical family trees
recovering from Othered long-suffering
win/lose
sawdusted up
stress-ringed
drought and buggy matriarchal histories

Suffering win/lose servants
shading EarthTrauma blisterings

To recover systemic win/win health care
forest re-constitutional optimization
and co-invested resilience
in this inter-religious polyculture
of multiculturally co-rooted
deep learning CoMediators

She may hear
what AnthroTribe is feeling
and She cares about our empowerment
and S/He is curious about
our potential sacred meaning
co-invested
enlightenment
of a MinoriTree’s Trauma
Therapeutic ReHashed
Smashed EarthHistory.

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Uncategorized

Dark

Dark chances,
unhealthy and unsafe trauma
HiStories

Degenerating predative dogmas
not wanting to let go of ballistics
even for dawning light’s sacred promise
to grab full-immersion hold
and heal dark mythologies
lose now and again later ecologies
repeat rehearsed
inside-only voiced
dark passion narratives

Speaking out alarmed Betrayal
from those you were taught to Trust–
[it was Her job!
I have an unconditional contract
on a warm wet naturally wombed
and spiritually unwounded
birthright!

Defying Other’s Anger
about my gift-economy Hypocrisy
about my sacred Golden Rule restriction
win/win positive aspiration,
invoked by nature’s spiritual
Hippocratic Oath
to at least do no damage
losing trusted breath in
so losing full breath back out
again
and again
and repeat breathlessly again.

My own most difficult,
occasionally traumatic,
distressingly long, slow
letting go transition

Feels almost inevitably headed
for natural health-Lose
spiritual health-Lose
despair

Unless we all keep trying our best,
not just me
cleaning up your mess
to suffering servant impress

All us AnthroPrivileged victims
aware of traumatic over-populated
rabid traumatic
and pandemic health risks,
and runaway
emerging PTSD
and dementia
and suicide
and matricide
and ecocide

Make it almost impossible
to respect ourselves
yet not fear
retributive justice officers
and judges
and monolithic Yang-Jehovah

Dispensing punishments and fines
and shame
and blame
where the only obvious victim
I can see
is me.

My dark protagonist continues
to be victimized,
even now in aging memories

Every day past light
leads, at dusk,
to dark future
leads, at dawn,
to soon past light…

Yet my attachment to enlightenment
encourages me to disregard
co-arising dipolar dark empowerments
bicamerally re-associated

Yet awkwardly, sometimes
with high-risk trauma histories
monoculturally LeftBrain
EgoCentric predative Yang

AnthroPrivileged Voices
stuck on healthy and safe past orthodox
value systems
personal
and economic
and political
and separate and unequal
bi-sensory
and anti-sexual competitive dogmatic traditions

Not spiritually or naturally learning
so not wanting to let go
even for dawning light’s healthy promise
to grab resilient hold
and heal dark
post-traumatic lose/lose
zero-sum global
ecocidal winterish nightmares

Dipolar co-arising
unconditional warm sun rising
well-moisturized
copassionately co-invested day dreams
and horizontal dances,
core-chakra interpersonal win/win
exercises
nonviolent practice
practice
practice

Until we get our cooperative peak experience
sacredly awesome
and restorative ecojustice
left and right again

BiLateral
BiCameral creolization
in timeless tides
of over-swelling
regenerativity

Not quite
so bleakly alone
trapped in silent screaming stark
Dark.

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Narcissists Unanimous

I might feel grand
aspiring to omnipotent
omniscience

Whereupon omnipresence
might feel less necessary,
or even possible,
or desirable

In a secularized
reduced
dissociated apartheid,
sacred Us v sinful Them

An omnipotently inflammatory place
for every Other individual thing
and all Other routine
and orthodox Things,

Omnipresent capital events
in anonymously rational
linear
fundamentally dualistic frames

Either sacred Me
or secularized You
will win our antagonistic win/lose
evolving worldview news

Preferably reduced from
supremely anthro-privileged
down deep into
my ego’s highest omnipotent potential
best win/win omniscience sacredly encircled
to ubiquitously favor
least global cost
and most localized efficient
ego/eco healthcare
resonant balance

In a way not omnipotently possible
nor omnipresently invited
nor yet omnisciently compassioned

If only we were more adept
at losing win/lose
and playing win/win
Gods and Goddesses,
OmniPresent Icons
and OmniPotent Idols

Inviting sacred Gaian EcoFeminist spaces,
omnisciently omnipotent places,
unconditionally disregarding
LeftBrain Iconic Narks
Phallic Idols,
profit prophets
for Narcissists Unanimous.

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Together Will We Part

Cells work is play
to resiliently thrive
only in organic systems.

Individual yolked cells
each with her own ego-governor
survive healthy together
and divide tragically apart

More like symbiotic regenerations
of surfing cantilevers
than degenerations
outside predations
storming waves
recolonizing cancers.

Transgendering
transubstantiating
transitions can be both

Too hard on ego yolks
and too soft for ecobodies
become some One boundaried else
while too soon severing
into not yet Zero

Sacrificed for tomorrow’s
unconditional regard
organically in-between
One secular EgoZone
and not yet Zero sacred
systemic EarthTribe soul

Remembering past memories
mindful of mind-cell fullness
side by side solidarity
re-imaging severed cells

Crests of history’s
great transitioning wave
from individual hot burning stars
to seas of cold
dead
dry dust

Awaiting wetter rust
for light and power
to co-arise
more resilient lust

Inside crusts
of ego loving centers
and their living eco-kin
becoming back and forth,
together and apart
again

Enlightenment
and death,
empowering cantilevers
losing out to expatriating cancers

Co-invested
ego risks of past power
and eco loss of future opportunities

Individuating
systems for regeneration
and recycling seasons
of privation

Therapy
and trauma,
health
and pathology

Unconditional regard
and conditioned
hardening cells
of disregard

For innocent Othered cells
whose work is also play
to resiliently thrive

Only in organic systems
unconditionally regarding
this enlightened
empowering day

Swings of Yang bright light
empowering Yin’s eternal sway.

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Sacred HerStory

As ancient matriarchal polytheism
of local, domestic economic circles
gave way to patriarchal elite empire-builders,

Transcendent monotheism not only overwhelmed
immanent herstoric polytheism
but this had the further historical effect
of secularizing nature’s evolving narrative
and desecrating anthro-exceptionalist verbal nature

LeftBrain Powers of persuasive speech
fallen from an original animated experience
of indigenously wise win/win resonant sounds
harmonic songs
spoken legends
inspired myths
of polytheistic GoldenRule Paradise Lost
disharmonious evil
retold dissociations
bedeviling competitions

Wealth Spirited Man v Health Natured MotherEarth
Natural Mono-Man v Spiritual PolyTheistic Earth,
AnthroHistory v Her Indigenous EarthStory
Transcendent White Patriarchy v Marginalized NonWhite EcoMatriarchs
History v Her Indigenous Story

Lost in misty herstoric myths
of formerly sacred EarthMothers
with wiki-powers of healing,
nurturing multicultural humane
RightListening empowerment

Through nutritional
polyculturally divine
LeftUnSpoken enlightenment

HerStoric feelings
needs survival
wants thrival
shared by strong-rooted plants
soulful spirited animals
including bicamerally balanced people
populating EarthMother’s sacred
polytheistic
health-wealthing planet.

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The Mural Project

Education Secretary Ellen,

Some of us
on the EarthCare Team
and also the Transport Solutions Committee
for special projects
are wondering
and, frankly, hoping

Your green STEAM students
and teachers
might research,
design,
and help residents paint
a historically accurate
AND polyculturally exquisite
series of murals

On our two-tiered
upper, more transcendently hopeful,
and lower, more historically faithful,
retaining walls

After our crumbling concrete parking pads
and steel-framed industrial artifacts
are hauled away
with respect and gratitude
for future repurposing

Our Transport Solutions
and EarthCare Elders
hope to use this transitional moment
to divert water runoff
to north and south bermed
and graceful descent
down toward our sacred RiverGaia,
rather than continuing to run
race
to disgrace our wet unhealthy basement

Thereby diverting soiled water stains
from historic runoff narrative face
retaining walled epic paintings,
perhaps combined with etching,
to tell a true and beautiful tale
about this sacred place
where we live
and work,
garden
and enjoy our EarthCare classroom
residence,
inside and outside

As did indigenously wise
Elders before us

And RiverGaia
learned Her future shape and flow
from ancient predative
cold
relentless icey white glaciers,

As will future natural construction
and deconstruction regenerators,
Thermal students
of green STEAM polyculturing Elders,
including co-invested us

Learning new Truth
and old Beauty Stories

Of how EarthCare givers
and health-care receivers
survived mistrust
to compassionately,
nonviolently
exquisitly thrive together
more better
than apart.

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Alpha’s Omega Passion

I am recirculating red
and dark blue blood,
through veins
and springing arterials
of integrity’s compassion

Altering
wounding segregated pathologies
of death avoidance
not life danced

When we
together
see Alphas
StraightWhiteMale dominating
every space
in timeless now

Circulating Anthropocenic
panentheistic parching Earth
in Alpha taste
and touch
and see

Omega’s green capital face
and organic viscera,
MeWe Janus de-polarized
feeling dizzy
with dissonance

Traumatized
by unsecretive eyes
for not-not objectives

With healthy names
usurped by straight
white anthro-engoddened men
no one dare name
or look upon
without shame,
monotheistic
punishing blame

Throughout our dynamic history
of multiculturally systemic
panentheistic
iconic
sacred becoming universe

Omega’s tipping point
toward integral win/win
strategic green
bi-hemispherically balancing
co-messianic intelligence

Recirculating red
and dark blue blood,
through veins
and springing Alpha arterials
of integrity’s Omega co-passion.

Note: Note: Inspired and written in dialogue with Jorge Luis Borges’ “The Aleph”, pp. 130-131.

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EcoGovernance Notes

Give as you can co-invest green,
Receive as you need,
Be all we are cooperatively becoming.

A deep root chakra foundation
of healthy polycultural life,
positive/negative mind-embodied
consilient unstrifed life
is far more than pre-death
in win/win whole open systemic
EarthTribe regenerative/degenerative networks
supporting transportively cooperative pedagogy
through mental/physical
spiritual/natural
theo/eco-logically integral
sacred/secular potential
green resilience.

Universally unitarian egos
co-passionately speaking up
and out
for and from
polyculturally polyphonic joy
regenerate sacred celebrations
of interdependent energy
positive/negative
one full and open
zero not empty and not closed
co-binary wu-wei energy
of TaoZen
nonzero zones
for global health-wealth care
kindness
gratitude
compassion
integrity of wide ecological purpose
and deep theological meaning.

Whole Open Systemic CulturaList:
Mono
Poly
PanEntheistic
Womanist-Feminist
Patriarchal
Green
Red
Blue
Turquoise Spiraling Spectral
Color
Black/White Bi
Full/Empty DiPolar
WuWei Trans
Octave-Fractal Holonic
NonZero WinWin
ZeroSum WinLose
Open
Closed
Holonic
Holy
Whole
Health
Multi
Sacred
Secular
Academic
Cognitive
Intuitive
Technology
Information
Organic
Democratic
Autocratic
Kleptocratic
Colonizing
Creolizing
Conservational
Liberal

Patristic traditional choices
for conserving sequestered wealth
through retributive justice
hierarchical systems
may re-member
re-connect with older
womb through tomb
EcoFeminist health liberation
for restoring cooperative peace
and resilient global justice
global ecosystemic governance
networks of co-passionate binomials.

EarthTribe resiliently
and resonantly organizes
around nonviolent communication experiences
of win/win health/wealth optimization
supported by whole open pedagogical
creolizing
multiregenerational systems
bicameral
bipartisan
bilateral polycultural co-remediation.

Pursue ecotherapeutic NEEDS
taking on CHALLENGES of win/lose risks
communicating with nonviolent skill RESOURCES
for win/win OPPORTUNITIES

Win/win open whole resilient criteria
for cost effectively achieving
Health/wealth optimizing systems:
Green REVITALIZING
Ego LeftBrain EFFICIENT
EcoSystemic RightBrain COMPASSIONATE
Health/Wealth nondualistically IMPACTFUL

Whole open revolving EarthTribe
neuro-sensory
visual-audio
smell-taste
touch-feel bilateral systems
seem to prefer outdoor
green STEAM classrooms
for deep learning multicultural
EarthGoverning
work and play
study and meditation
song and dance
plant and harvest
dormant and peak
nondualistic co-present
co-passionate communication

To give as we can co-invest green,
Receive as we red-blooded need,
Be all we are cooperative blues becoming.

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