Politically Correct Wilderness Behaviors

It’s not that I mistrust you,
though sometimes I feel I must distrust
either me or you.

I ambivalently choose both.

So yes, of course, this is about your behaviors
in relationship with mine,
aggressive and impulsive.
Behaviors of addiction
to a child’s malignant sense of humor
and anger as synaptic fear
of loving inalienable powers of freedom
from and to yet further behaviors,
too often aggressive and impulsive,
too seldom shy and demure
as water flowing into deeper gravitas.

Behaviors inspired by Assertiveness Training
on steroids,
mainlining a fix
to fill recent behavioral abstinence,
dreams and fantasies standing in for life,
addiction to action
not counting absent minutes of no behaviors.

Do not remind me
“actions have consequences.”
How is this not a vacuous tautology?
merely repeating response meets stimulus,
nouns regenerate verbs
as subjects pursue objectives.

We do not really need dualistic behaviorists
as much as we crave nondual interpreters of patterns,
feeding those with cooperative intent and, yes, behaviors,
but action, response, as praxis,
walking a cooperative walk
outspeaks talking a competing game of good v. bad behavior.

Hoping for better health next year
while pouring chemicals on our lawns
and down our throats
feels like an ecotherapist observing toxic relationships,
enumerating nutritional transactions,
despising monocultural weedpatch development trends,
counting numbers of deaths v. births through minutes passed,
only to conclude that actions,
like inactions,
have consequences,
and lack thereof.

Behaviors ebb and flow ionic,
nondual bionic,
as communication reiterates iconic truths
of history’s encultured wild addictions
fighting freedoms to develop love,
sometimes more quietly,
freedom from addiction to aggressive impulses
to share this love and fear,
lovely fear,
fearful love,
in life’s conflicted ways,
supported by ecotherapists of active communication
rather than behaviorists of counting
endless predictable cycles
of destimulating response.

It’s not so much I distrust behaviorists as scientists,
though sometimes I mistrust nondual us.

Failure to control global and national mindbody impulses,
resulting in anger-induced responses
and fear-reduced reactions,
is a failure to control climate sustainability
through indulging competitive addictions.
Regeneratively effective healers speak not as mere behaviorists;
co-mentors immerse baptized within this polypath pilgrimage
toward better communicated enlightenment,
sometimes shy and demure,
but always nondual love-management intended,
most certainly always, always kind,
though nature’s kind co-teaching/learning evolution
can feel harsh to swollen Ego’s feet,
walking in habitual circles
toward nowhere good
or true
much less divine.

What good are a child’s safe hands
with no safe mind?
What benefits emerge from kind and loving hands
tagging along with healthy motivated feet
to sustain ecologically balancing mindbody co-operators,
solidarity of EarthTribe’s EcoMentors,
too busy managing our bugs and parasitic ways
to build political economic empires of surfing sand.

I distrust myself
when reduced to behaviorist judge
of self and others.
I trust us to induce healthy communication of love as life,
robust through healthy wealth.


Unholy Sanctity

My fetal alcoholic bipolar:

“sometimes I experience low anxiety
and act like a happy drunk”

like when entering new places
and situations,
I experience high anxiety
and act like a very bad
and mean-spirited drunk
with immense juvenile curiosity and overload,
near total sensory loss of ego v. eco-boundary,
megalomaniacal tendencies,
also known as pediatrically-challenged
Oppositional Disorder,”

which feels like an understatement some days and nights
of every day
of my life
since she,
now nearly 14,
was five.

daughter Yang and I attempted to visit
Sacred Community last week,

A sole positive outcome
from this 9:20 AM Sunday rather-early morning visit,
is to have set the bar for achieving more positive outcomes
very low indeed.

At the same time,
Yang seems motivated to be included
and to establish new positive-healthy relationships
with peers
and within a familial-participatory
multigenerational community.

What Yang and I might be able to bring,
in co-redemptive return for inclusion
as invited, greeted, welcomed members

(also the threshold for my African-American
also-gay-male husband
to bring YinYin,
my youngest of three sons,
with paraplegic palsy and cortical/bielliptical blindness,
with great roaring delight preference for pipe organs
and human singing voices)

Perhaps I could
cooperatively partner with you and/or other
interested and invested members
who may already have one or more family members
not able to join your community
as a complete family
or household tribe
due to boundary issues
between this UU community’s
cooperatively intended culture
and the often less mutual, much less cooperative, intentions
of some neutrally/neurally challenged cultures,
Interior Landscapes of Not-So-Permacultured Design.

Perhaps we could talk together
our mutual needs to optimize
each family’s and community’s inclusion of diverse truths trend.

Perhaps we could find
or create
a low-stim focus,
stretching and breathing and balanced-walking meditation,
song and dance liturgical space
for these mutually messed-up folks
of all generations
to practice a more cooperative spirituality
of being with each other
in safe and healthy ways,
and fun; humor and mutual-performance entertainment count,
with big positives,
like writing narrative poetry
to communities you have seldom met.
“What would you say
if you dared be true?”

Perhaps we could then form a child-care cooperative
and any care-givers not needed each Sunday
could attend regular services,
where I would love to sing tenor in your choir.

I can also do male soprano voice,
as needed or wanted,
and preferably both.

I would love to be part of your Green Sanctuary process,
leading to cooperative community economic
and ecological leadership
in climate change responsive
and responsible (informed, balanced, polyculturally decomposed and analyzed together)
Earth Rights advocacy;
including some reconnecting experience
with Joanna Macy’s “Work That Reconnects.”

Perhaps I could also meet other poets
or narrative-essay writers,
or even homily writers,
or fiction writers,
music writers and lyricists,
to self-organize “Everything Slams Universally-Unitarian”
liturgical themes.

Perhaps we would find and enjoy and amuse each other,
amongst our multisystemic and paradigmatic ideas,
while applying Permacultured Design and Development
to both the Interior and Exterior Landscapes
of evolving organic systems,
like individuals,
and even more universal formation systems,
trying to balance their unitarian flow,
from faith communities to political parties,
from economic to ecological policy platforms
for optimizing health as wealthy abundant life,
Beloved UU (All Souls Inclusive)
“just a little bit Taoist leaning”