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Winter’s Writing Choices

Approaching winter…

OK, maybe encroaching mid-winter
of life’s seasonal span
with resonantly compelling grace,
perhaps even transparent vulnerability,
feels controversial,
too laissez-faire

Too much courage
in declaring preliminary success
with too little curiosity
about what happens next
on planet Earth

Continuing to revolve all four seasons
dynamics
holistic lenses.

I recall the poet’s admonition
to not go quietly
into this winterish
cold night.

Life’s final reflective opportunity
does not invite quiet
so much as impassioned peace
of a windless snowfall
blanketing all I can see
and more faintly hear,
touch and awkwardly feel,
smell and bittersweetly taste
unsafe passage.

I recently moved from autumn habitat,
a creative tension between summer’s midlife climax
and this new winter habit
above Connecticut’s exquisite Salmon River.

This is a compromised writer’s winter hermitage
shared with my son who cannot speak
but can roar,
who cannot walk by himself
but can scoot
and belly laugh at his own internal sensations
and my external sensational sounds.

And, following Daquan
from my fall habitat
to winter’s eremetical search for peace,
however coldly displaced,
with social
and political
and spiritual
and natural distancing,

Behind Daquan
are daily in-home nurses
and his most avid companion,
my romantically distanced husband.

He comes bearing gifts
of clothes,
cleaning supplies,
far too much meaty food
for a proper hermitage
and not enough
for sufficient redemption
and for self-forgiveness.

He comes unaware of my ecofeminist wintering spirit,
longing for Earth’s warm womb justice
restoring peace
resilient through all four seasons
of present
past
and future Earth lives.

My ecofeminist lineage
feels too white to him,
not a journey for him
and our two brown sons
and my brown and cerebral palsied daughter
and Daquan.

So, this writer’s winter hermitage
remains newly compromised by past fall
and summer
and even spring
of extended multicultural family life.

May it always be so
or no,
I’m not sure which to pray for
or against
as I quietly write
into this warm and peaceful night,
just right,
not too dim or bright.

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I Do When You Do

There is one word that can be the guide for your life–
it is the word
reciprocity.
Pearl Buck

There are several synonymous words
co-arising feelings
needs
co-gravitating wants
personal and social integrity
political and economic synergy
neurological and psychological
ecological and theological

That can guide life v death,
health v pathology
cooperative wealth v competitive disinvestment
regeneration v degeneration
love v despair
impression v depression.

These include words of passion–
Compassion
co-passion
passion story
impassioned v dispassioned v mispassioned.

E. O. Wilson speaks of biological Consilience
where linguists and political historians
recall co-gravitating Creolization,
peaceful co-enculturation,
rather than patriarchal greedy excesses
of one-power sided colonization.

Neuro-psychologists,
more positive pro-health
than negative anti-pathologists,
recommend Resilient-Resonance.

Ecologists and theologians
prefer sustainably regenerative ego-centers
and eco-systems.

Bicameral neurologists
commune left with right hemisphere
harmonic wants with feelings
for compassionate therapeutic communication.

Communication therapists
and mediators
speak out and listen up
for Enthymematic communication,
curiously and courageously opaque
and dual dark
reflective absence of cognitive-affective
left-right dissonance.

Priests
and Preachers
and Teachers invoke secular/sacred
natural/spiritual communion
communication
community
cooperative economics
and win/win political theology
preparing us to receive mysterious Transubstantiation
regeneration
creolization
resilient compassion,
polyphonic rhapsody,
polypathic reciprocity,

More like co-investing with Buck
than passing the buck.

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Marriage Quarantine

I wonder
if marriage could be less of a quarantine
from significant other relationships
and more of a prime relationship
in love’s easy and difficult lessons,
growing more resonant as opening out
to deeper and wider resonant caregiving
and receiving,
extending familial relationships
which, in turn,
do not predominately compete for time
but primally cooperate
with our initial attachment bond.

This feels like the opposite
of a marriage model
in which each partner expects,
sometimes demands,
that all attachment needs
for ecological
and theological
and biological
and sociological
and neurological connection
and healthy cooperative reconnection,
communication,
communion will become monoculturally
and magically met
by this one other mere mortal person.

I wonder, sometimes,
if marriage,
cooperative partnership
and management
and ownership experience,
of creolizing multicultural health
has devolved into a left-brain dominant theory
of humane relationship
sustainable only through threat
of punishing non-exclusive
non-supremacist relationships
emotionally isolating,
commodified,
increasingly codependent
competitive lack of healthy eco-political
democratic co-governance.

Could marriage grow not only co-gravitating
bipolar passion
but also dipolar co-arising compassion,
re-connection,
re-generativity,
resonant resilience,
resting in robust health/wealth
yang/yin
universal/unitarian
left/right communion?

Not so much a polyvagal theory
of partnership;
More of a polypathic experience
in- and ex-forming
EarthRooted healthy marriage,
partnership,
communion.

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Better Public HealthCare Planning

How much simpler
and yet vastly more complex,
diversely resonant,
past decisions to hire the credentialed professional elite
also choices not to hire a charismatic
brown-skinned
ecofeminist,

And how much more resilient
urgently cooperative
corporate win/win covenant repercussions might have been
if we stopped compartmentalizing,
and started intersectionalizing,
creolizing
transubstantiating
synergizing
integrating
regenerating
co-arising and co-gravitating
Win/Win assertiveness with non-violent communication Training,
CoInvestment Practice,
Multicultural Restorative Justice experience,
Truth and reconciliation,
Remuneration of cooperatively-owned health values,
Interdependent ecological and theological merit,
Compassion wealth.

If we could hear her outloud notice:

I feel sometimes angry
sometimes fearful,
sometimes courageous
sometimes curious,
and always disappointed
that I took this vulnerable risk
to transparently offer all that is my leadership gift
and then experience why this is still not enough:

Because I lack leftbrain dominant credentials,
Because I do not speak with cold white patriarchal dispassion,
Because I do not know disconnection as capital-business as usual,
Because I will not despair
of win/win felt outcomes
as if win/lose default unrealistic.

What then,
following this assertively non-violent vulnerability,
this win/win compassion,
this transparent noticing of:

Systemic Win/lose trending toward Lose/Lose monocuturalism,
Systemic racism without racist system conscious intention,
Militarized Patriarchalism,
LeftBrain dominant Either/Or deductive-reductive
Linear cause/effect logic,
Analogical purpose over metaphoric meaning,
MonoCapitalTheology
over Integral HealthWealth Win/Win Ecology?

What win/win compassionate ego/ecotherapeutic truth
and restoring peace
and reconciling EarthClimate Justice
might we more critically return to next?

Perhaps I might find our communal life safe enough
to share:

How angry I am
that I cannot hear our cooperatively-owned anger
that both neoliberal and neoconservations
of military-industrialized capitalism,
that worship of winlose and lose/lose violently transparent intent
continues blatantly budgeting to invest in more war,
in more hate-crimes,
in more automatic death sentences,
in more EarthWealth faster
and deeper
extraction of multigenerational resources,
in more corporate short-term blind investors in win/lose landfalls
instead of cooperative owner-workers invested in win/win health.

I am angry
and terrified,
deeply and widely win/lose disappointed
and lose/lose despairing
when I cannot hear
and feel
and see
and know
our mutual terror
and anger
about this Earth
and Earth HealthTribe
and Positive Energy Democracy CRISIS
of Ego v Eco
of Yang v Yin
of Left v Right
of Thought v Feeling
of Secular v Sacred
of West v East
of North v South
of Elite v NonElite
of White v Black
of Either v Or
of Bipolar v Dipolar
of Competitive Arising v Cooperative CoGravitation
of 1 ZeroZone Nomial v Non-0 Zone Bilateral Prime Relationship.

I am angry
and terrified
internal and external lose/lose climates
worship Capitalism
while marketing greed as
Catholic GoodNews of Holy-Elite Predative Communion.

Sacred meals and global EarthHabitat
separating us in our shadowed silos
of nontransparency
and nonvulnerably hiding the bread and wine reserves
violently defended, if necessary,
codependent absence of integrity,
positive communication,
cooperative EarthClimates
of polypathic health,
polyphonic resonance,
polycultural wealth,
universal sacred cooperative employment
co-invested in mutual warm listening
corporate
incorporated
health-capitalized
rich polycultural paths
truth
ways
means
life
passions

Angry and terrified,
courageous and curious.

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Investments In Health

Gaia continues running on a Health Platform,
healthy democracy
for wealthy economy
for healthy ecopolitics
for wealthy democratic energy.

The idea of free markets
as those embedded in democratic transactional service
to a local community
Is as old and conservative
as the idea of health
being embedded in a real
organic economic body
and political mind,
actually communicating
and playing nice
with each other.

The primal goal of old school markets,
in good weather times,
was to grow polycultural health,
investments as rich as diverse nutritional needs
of consuming and producing constituents.

So too, in bad climate times,
a depressed and fading market
becoming more monoculturally played out,
exhausted,
was, and is, to survive Lose economic
and Lose environmental EarthTrends,

Often picking up,
emigrating toward more promising lands
and fresh water,
more breathable air,
healthier opportunities for robust
democratic
fair
transparent
mutually vulnerable
win/win healthy-wealth transactions.

Robust markets are rich in co-passionate exchanges,
a flow between non-violent consumers and producers
rooted in healthy cooperative investments
in
and from
and of nutrition-sharing hearts
and minds
and voices,
thoughts with feelings still attached.

The right to free communicating markets
is a right of democratic access
and an ecological positive corollary right
of equal freedom from investing in poison,
imprisoning the competition,
waging war against those who terrify our megalomania
with their own autonomous hubris,
violent lies
hypocrisy
narcissism
egocentrism
anthropocentrism
xenophobia
patriarchalism
homophobia
win/lose evolutionary competitions,
runaway capital hoarding,
moral bankruptcy,
investment in ego-maniacal agendas,
hate,
elitism,
racism,
autonomous media and market control,
feelings of grandiose entitlement,

Jealous and zealous bad faith
sold out as spiritualized
and denatured
disembodied
unmarketable
unfree GoodNews truth.

Meanwhile,
Gaia continues running on a Health Platform,
healthy natural/spiritual democracy
for wealthy secular/sacred economy
for healthy left/right bicameral ecopolitics
for wealthy democratic free-market energy.

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LifeStyle Synergy

Part of me longs to reside in
a high functioning
win/win cooperative community
of resilient left hemisphere,
resonant right hemisphere,
polypathic/polyphonic communion.

Part of egoself-care wisdom
and longing
feels drawn toward eremetical asylum
more than gregarious shared sanctuary;
to solitude,
peace
ease
natural sounds and sights,
green new/old deals,
relationships
communications
communions of egalitarian interdependence,
more internally holistic intersections
noticing sacred global beauty
in local experiential truths
mundanely secular.

Yet the best part of my internal ecosystemic awareness
wants both,
wants Earth’s all,
longs for cutting edge win/win communion,
healthiest wealth,
resilient resonance
restoring ego/eco co-investments,
just truth and beautiful mercies,
graced bounty,
synergetic integrity,
robust democracy of healthy hermits.

Too unneedy greedy,
the sound of two co-arising hands
not clapping,
I unrealistically realize
longing in belonging.

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Enough to be Dangerous

Do you know the concern?
“S/he knows just enough
about a through z
to be dangerous.”

I am uncomfortably familiar
with this analysis,
a weapon often wielded
from ivory towers
overly influenced by ideology
masquerading as theory
rooted in statistically measured experience,
severed from historical-cultural,
biological-neurological indigenous context.

Even so,
one feeling I am sure of
my own too robust expertise
is Intolerance.

And, now I am discovering
I have chosen to join a community
with a multicultural intention
to embrace,
or at least tolerate,
all souls,
all species,
all living systems
except those deemed too intolerant,
too wounded,
for multicultural health
as a resonant indicator
of economic and political wealth.

We are exclusively intolerant
of intolerance
because we would provide safe sanctuary
to all souls,
especially victims of monoculturing intolerance,
of win/lose economic and political supremacy,
strategy
gamesmanship.

I find a tension here
between unconditional love
and lacking sufficient curiosity
and courage
to discuss shared values
and disvalues
with those too defensive
too hurt
too lost
too conservative
to tolerate intolerably queer me,
to tolerate the alien Other.

This reactionary intolerance
of intolerant prejudice
bigotry
often straight white male supremacy,
feels like further breeding ground
for misunderstanding,
segregation,
mutual divestment business as usual,
more win/lose devolutionary anger and fear,
more potential violence,
hate,
war

More egocentric privilege
rather than universal ecosystemic love power

Actively hoping to cooperatively uncover win/win
polycultural resolutions
resiliently curious
and courageous
when in the presence of win/lose competitions
intolerant of active hope
for restoring peace
by retiring retributively inflicted punishment
shunning
non-communication
anti-communion
for past sins of intolerance.

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Don’t Give Up

Don’t give up
on precise strategic resilience
and passionate communitarians
winning here and winning now,
now already won here
with and for those with 20/20 sight
hearing
thought with feeling,

Do give up blaming
only your own internal addicted climate
without also shaming your medicine-pushing society
of left-hemisphere verbal violent domination.

Do give up blaming just your ego
for self-medicating.
Medications, intended for ego- and eco-healing,
can become addictions,
sources of longer-term ego v eco-pathology.

Do give up substances
originally nurturing medication
and now become toxic starving addiction.

Do take up
addiction to water
and organic tea
sipped from ceramic mugs
and cups
and delicate shells
of creatures addicted to saltwater.

Do become addicted
to vigorously cleaning up
shaking out
cleverly planting resonance
carefully harvesting resilience
nurturing
giving and receiving health care
for and from
your eco-politically connected environment
habitat
Earth.

Don’t give up
worshiping Earth.
I’ve never heard of pathological side-effects.

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I Would Like To Listen More

I would like to hear
with no urgent need to speak
and to respond
without reacting,
over-acting.

I would like to hear
your experience with faith and faithless communities,
theistic
and atheistic,
sacred
and secular believers
and unbelievers,
communal investment positive
and fear and anger
flight and fight negative,
healthy
and pathological,
resonant
and dissonant.

And I would like to hear the same
about political power experience,
partisan
and non-partisan,
green democratic
and libertarian republican,
militaristic
and more peacefully resonant
green new deal ecopolitical parties
and win/win games of cooperative discussion
and win/lose strategies of capital-headed competitions.

And I would like to share
our hopes and dreams
of future faith cooperative ownership
and empowerment party management
for public healthy climate resonance
and private wealthy resilience,

I would like to hear us sing
for our win/win democratic cooperative suppers,
expressed in liturgical dance,
unrepressed fire circles
impressing nature/spirit bicamerals
locally through globally contagious
listening cameras.

I would invite us to share
where we have been
and where we would like to journey together
for our own health
and climate resonance,
And so our children
and grandchildren
and their children
will look lovingly back on us
gathered here this and future days
to claim their shared health inheritance,

“In their lunch space
and climate public residential time
of great unraveling,

They didn’t just eat together,
they dined smart
and swallowed multicultural grace
until so full of wealthy health
they learned to sing and dance
to pray and play
to faith and power
our way
toward this very resilient
win/win
sacred/secular
right/left bilateral
warm accompaniment day
of cooperative interdependence.”

Our children will benefit
from our social-psychological wealthy interdependent health,
of course,
but also political-economic binomial equity-investment,
polypathic and also not not polynomial balance
theological and ecological
great reweaving analogical,
metaphoric and polyphonic
20/20 listening.

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Sabbath Prayers

EarthMother’s unwilling Emissary
asked each faith community
and patriotic party
what they thought and felt
about God’s preferential option for the poor,
despised,
criminal,
homeless,
wounded and powerless women and children,
physical disabilities,
sick,
terrified,
rabid with anger and fear,
enslaved,
addicted,
insane.

Does this sound like an accurate description
of your congregation,
your self-empowering party,
your communion of saints,
your synagogue,
your sanctuary–
or are these those who best remain outside
your ego-celebrating walls?

Why are eco-they
not ego-you
on Saturday or Sunday morning
through midnight?

Why are these not Sabbath communion participants
holding mutually cooperative
and graced space
together?

What would it take
to heal this apartheid Ministerial NonAlliance?

Our homeless youth
play a young person’s avoidance game
in which all indoor human voices,
especially those of self-anointed authority,
ministerial power,
principals of punishing study
and exclusive EitherIn/OrOut system,
administrators of capital egocentric gains,
are suspect.

These same voices
have gathered from sandy shores,
river boundary habitats,
wilderness downstream spaces,
toxic dump places,
to lead competing Ministerial Alliances
in a guided poly-path toward meditation:

Imagine
you are an African black
and Latin brown
and Earth green
and Fire red
and SunLight yellow
and Moon ultra-nonviolet
and Water transparent
and Air invisible thread,
both natural and spiritual,
within Earth’s multi-regenerational systemic network,
a tapestry sunclock-wise woven,
sunset before sunrise unwoven
north with southern dipolarities rewoven
prewoven across a universe of Time.

You have regenerative
and degenerative experiences
thoughts
feelings
choices
absence of choice,
external debates
and internal discernments,
and dialogues
in-between your LeftBrain doer thoughts
to save us sinners
and malformed win/lose supporters
and RightBrain becoming together feelings
to reweave
to cooperatively heal
resilient natural Earth systems
with resonant spirit-felt EcoOrigins

From BlackHole Wombed potential
toward wealth rainbow not-not vaporous knots
of double-binding resonant climate health,
internally right hemispheric
as external LeftYang enculturing compassion
interweaving threads
learning intersectional co-passioning resilience
in four prime-revolutionary
space-time dimensions.

Imagine
how much more health we could do
and wealthy be
together,
rather than subclimates and subcultures
competitively
and resentfully
apart.

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