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Wilderness Home

I prefer my home and family buttoned down
rather than too wild and disorderly,
disheveled and irrational.

I prefer natural order
and shades of color
and dialects
and vocations
and sequential rules of nutrition-producing order,
and yet wonder, too.

I have been hurt by too much wild
struggling against my too much gay
with fear that loss of homophobia,
struggling with fear and anger
about my too-wild sexuality,
might self-recruit toward loving bisexuality,
poly and/or meta-sexuality,
a co-arising co-gravitation
without fear and anger boundaries
might open your pen toward boundless love.

Too wild
these fears and angers scare me,
preferring my home and family
more polyculturally transformed
to optimally button down
our polypathic wild.

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Primal Questions

I was thinking about Eisenstein’s view of our relationship with Earth as a sacred economic relationship with Beauty and Health (although the latter seems to be largely implied, but is more explicit in Riane Eisler’s highly compatible thought and concerns and hope). At the same time the statement “There is no excuse for ignorance.” (Jamie Dunmore?)

A few weeks ago I had been thinking about debt using the icon of a mortgage on one’s primary residence, and comparing this to questions  we might ask prior to considering to enter into any domestic relationship, investment of time. Now I find myself wanting to apply these questions to prospective vocations, and decisions about how to invest my life in abundantly beloved eco-consciousness, rather than more ignorance.

So, in that context, I revisit these questions, and would love to know if you also find them helpful for vocational and domestic relationships as also sacred political and economic relationships:

Do I want to only look at new ones,
never been used,
or is that a too restrictive market,
too competitively priced
for virginity of place and relationship on Earth?
And, is such redemptively-intended virginity
an asset or a deficit,
in which ways?

Could I rather shop in a wider market,
someplace more gently used
and well-maintained,
someplace with smooth natural wood and stone,
rich in character
and not the smell of fresh acrylic paint,
when I could have wisteria and roses
lavender and mint
wafting through those big brown
or blue
or grey
or hazel door and window frames.

If this prospective relationship
does not bring sanity and health and pleasure and beauty
then is that not a contract violation
and time to be thinking about separation
so Self and Others can get back into our confluent market
for a better fit with this Time;
not a decade ago?

Have my needs
and wants
and preferences changed,
while my life partner’s and vocation’s may feel
boxed in,
no more room for additions,
lack of flexible floor plan,
too big or too small?

It happens.

Have I changed my definition of paradise
“beloved community”
is not who I am still investing in.
My fellow pilgrims, and places, and their path,
seem entrenched in incompatibility.
They have grown older,
more cracks in the plaster,
wear in the not-so-natural rugs,
missing some shingles on the roof.
Does the view from outside
look more like a weedpatch,
than my intended investment in paradise?

While shopping used expands your permacultural potential,
it also brings its baggage.
All that good and/or bad karma
yours for a down payment
but not always part of what you bargain for.
Did I ask if anyone had ever been murdered here,
or how many toxic fantasies cast their shadows?
Is this place/person service/product/plant
swimming in carcinogens,
tumorous habits growing mold under the roof?
What is prior experience with abuse,
neglect,
deferred maintenance?

Do I have a right to know, to be informed? Could I ask prior co-habitors and contractors with a prospective position/vocation/place/person:

Why are the two of you going your separate ways?
Was this your decision or did it feel more like
your house/spouse/employer gave you no choice?
If it was your choice,
if you have moved on
to something more to your liking,
rather than merely running away
from a smelly situation,
then what does your current relationship
offer you
by way of contentment,
and peace,
with justice and beauty and health,
that is lacking in my prospective investment?

Perhaps there were reasons unrelated to your vocational satisfaction.
Maybe you couldn’t afford to stay any more?
Is this place/person high maintenance, do you think?
Too heavily taxing,
bleeding you through inflated costs of living,
working,
divesting,
dispossession of responsibility
and/or authority,
too much Win-Lose gaming?

Are there problems in the neighborhood/extended family
that I should know about?

Does the plumbing still work?

Are the lights on but nobody’s home?

Would you recommend your house/spouse/job
to your best in-the-market friend?
Why or why not?
What interior and exterior landscape and design issues
did you have?
What did you find were your interior and exterior relational strengths
for future development?
Knowing what you have learned
through your own investment experience,
who do you think would be the ideal partner
for this former place now in my face?

Too much information, or appropriate responsibility to be informed
of which economic and political incarnations we embrace?

 

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Domestic Wilderness

Difference between crazy wildness and genius
may be soundness of deeply revolutionary resonance,
discerned and discovered
through transparent co-arising communicants
within a symbiotic culture of paradigms
and co-gravitating consciousness.

I can’t say for sure
as I live in an intentional tribe of mutual ignorance,
each denying our complicity in Business As Usual dissonance.

Difference between cognitive dissonance
and suboptimizing assonance
appears to be the null set.

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Guilty Nature

I prefer my wild quite tame

and have no one to blame

that this is so

except my I

who carries shame across spacetime

to incarnate me with guilt.

 

The “I” We hoped to be

was as wild as yeast

still free of human domesticity

and with this dream of noble savage gone

I’m left with guilt

for giving up on youth’s hoped for “I,”

a part of We

immersed in wild diastatic

undomesticated freedom flight

from shame

toward becoming who I am

as EcoWe.

 

I prefer my tame quite wildly

shy of guilt

to find such goodness

in my speciated crazy quilt.

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