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Intimate CoMessiahs

Sexually powerful energy,
longing for healthy
deeply resonant experience
of regenerative compassion,
both natural and spiritual,
metaphysically leftbrain
but yet embodied rightbrain,
reconnecting bicamerally sensory consciousness,

When combined
with disciplined
adult, and yet not fully mature,
religious passion for multiculturing fulfillment,
yet still grasping toward short-term ego-privileged
ultimate climax,
sensational satiating experience

Is a highly volatile mixture.
Dangerous ground.
Deeply treacherous.
Filled with yellow and red striped
CAUTION signs,

Icons of rich potential blessing
through resonant
non-violent
vulnerably transparent
communicating co-passionates,

Which is not equivalent to,
nor the probable outcome of,
not sharing with today’s
and tonight’s multi-sensory receiving audience
of the typically one-on-one intimate moment
what you have persuaded yourself
the engorged
engaged Other needs
and wants to hear
then see,
to touch
then feel,
to taste
then smell
to fully invest
in being naked
with you.

Great sexual partnering
does not begin
with good marketing communication skills,
talk without integral action

But, great sexual experiences
do begin and end
with resonantly
richly
robustly balanced
compassionate listening,
feeling,
smelling skills
explicitly communicating
your shared/unshared values
for long-term co-empathic sensory experience
through sensual communication

Including sexually committed
cooperatively co-empathic
naturally spiritual
long-resilient active compassions
in solidarity with all EarthTribes
in compelling felt, heard, fragrant climates
of unsettling ecstatic copulation

As soon as our unsexy wars
and aggressions end in timeless peace
overcoming both internal theological
nature v spirit ambivalence,
and external ecological
secular v sacred indifference.

Sexual integrity
is not a mainstream path
toward bodhisattva
and messianic compassion,
much less completion.

It is not a shortcut,
although long-term ecstatic belonging
with Earth and all Her sexy Tribes
may be an outcome of mature
ecofeminist compassion.

Whether true or not
I remain cautiously aware
I am not yet mature enough
to curiously
and courageously
know,
explore,
systemically and resonantly design,
compassionately and multi-sensually
polypathically and polyphonically
ecologically and theologically redevelop.

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Privileged Cultures AfterThought

It feels fascinating
that horny voracious passions
dissipate in the presence of ego-centered fear
of pain and suffering
and ego-defeating loss,
disability and predative performance anxieties,
wounds,
death,
short-term through permanent
degenerating energy,
absence of active hope
for future holistic integrity.

In this time of climate degeneration
fear and cultural distancing need,
frustrated leftbrain dominant
StraightWhiteMale monoculturing horniness
looks culturally privileged like,
sounds prejudicially like,
feels and touches sacred EarthMother like,
smells and multiculturally
creole tastes like
manically monoculturing
predative redmeat energy states
of fear-and-anger inducing rabidity
rather than restorative green regenerative passion
for multicolored
trans-generational
testosterone/estrogen
yang/yin
pansexual win/win
inclusive cosmic integrity

Of cooperative green/blue energy
power
EarthPeace compassion.

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Dancing Questions

I have a lot of questions
questions
questions
he repeated
and danced
and slowly swung
on our creaky screened porch swing.

Radiant
in fiery ginger godliness,
mind centering omnipotence

He is so far ahead
of answers,
I feel embarrassed
to share them.

But, in not sharing
I become lost in caring
what you might think of me,
feel about we
without sufficient daring.

He swings anal retentive
in a whole new light
of previously unrepresented delight.

Ah! that could not be my question.
A hypothesis, perhaps
meriting further research;
new questings.

It feels important to me
this questing
for high and deep best male alert
dessert thick
and creamy,
dreamy wave of carnal delight,
absence of fright
or fight
in last and long dark nights
on seas of swings
just f…..g right.

I want to squeeze
these pulsing questings
out of this maleness
female mess
so quickly
complexly asked
and chaos given

Shriven
of clothes
but not masquerades
of closet questions
questing answers
not yet hard
and widely embraced
formed
invited graced q…r notions

Of motions
and emotions
just right
and left
bilaterally in-between
bicameral lusts
and binomial leisure
to swing all theories continuous
polypathic
polyphonic
polyvagal
polymetric ways

Of in
and out
and rebellious shout
for Earth’s most carnal freedom
of re-connecting
polycultural con-scientific re-ligioning
questions about straight and narrow
meets wide and deep

Why 1
slides so sexily
into 0
shaped chakras
of natural
spiritual co-empathic pole
and hole energy
like nuts
and bolts
and male
and female bi-polarities.

So many questions,
he gloriously proclaims
in majestic awe
meets lusty wonder

As his bicameral feet
gently invite
our graced swing
to sweep and seep
with co-gravitating
revolving Earth
back to Spring
and forth to Fall

One late summer morning
on our screened porch swing.

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An Anxiously Anticipated Event

Dear John,

All day
yesterday
I loaded up with a cascading river
of mixed anxiety and anticipation
about what to safely and kindly,
transparently and vulnerably
compassionately, so non-violently, share
communicate;

Which narrative tributaries to choose
within this vast spacetime stream
of choices
directions
felt depressions and erections.

Do you remember
communication theory
framed as Rhetorical Events?

Our initial walk and talk,
eating together,
rather than my refrigerator foraging
brunchtime usual rawfood practice,
is a graced green,
rain giving way to blue, memory for me,
and, I hope, for we
these sacred walking
secular talking
people.

Successful rhetorical events,
as I recall,
and have co-passionately experienced
with ecstatic thrills
and mysterious chills of anticipation,
wanting more and more
cascading throughout my too isolated life,

Are cooperatively held spaces
resonant and verbal and non-verbal places
longing to become resilient
as ultra-violet light
in phosphorescent mystical night,
bright
and warm
without ballistic fright,
inviting sounds of sight.

So I drove home
basking in such rich
potentially resilient
transparent and vulnerable
articulate yet impassioned
felt experience
confirming all my own ego’s grand theories
about win/win non-violent
Rhetorical compassioning
Events.

My anxieties spoke later
about mutual physical
natural, yet also spiritual,
attraction–
this smell and taste neurological chemistry
of touch exhaling
to co-empathically predict
our romantically felt quality
inhaling integrity’s great resilient passions,
shared loves
communal,
deeply green cooperative,
that rhetorical day
as true and beautiful for us.

It has been thirty years
since my last first date,
with a man who became my unanticipated husband,
partner
spouse
lover
quarreler
critic
listener
emotive voice
co-investor
political ally
communicator
miscommunicator
long-term rhetorical event
cooperative space-holder,
mediator
not really quite green enough
for resonant felt
and thought co-passionate experience
near our end
of cohabitation.

Nearly half my lifetime,
thirty years,
and I feel anxious
I have not yet learned
appropriate new old person rules
of transparency
and vulnerability
to be clear
and kind,
compassionately clear
about my natural/spiritual
physical/metaphysical attractions,
anticipations,
anxieties.

When I last dated
a gay encounter of the first kind
either ended nakedly together
or with a scheduled second date
with a bed
or a sling
or a deserted moonlit beach
front and center on our anticipated menu

Or ended in disaster,
no connection,
no further warm and resonant communication,
no passing green light Go!

I did not “date”
men who lived so very far away,
out of state,
unless one of us was planning to relocate
or both of us were anticipating
an extremely resonant
one hot night stand
lying down together,
exploring all the vertical
and horizontal dances
we could imagine ever wishing we had done
to further gather
future’s warm anticipations.

I am anxious
because I do not want to disappoint you
or me
about our embodied
non-verbal communication
and passion together.

My own nakedness
lies nowhere near my vulnerable
and transparent self-esteem
as was the case
when I last dated
and I do not know
what to do
and not do
with that.

I have no mentors,
no wise teachers,
no therapeutic facilitators,
no sex therapist
to talk and touch me through
this anxiety.

But, I do anticipate
an unfortunate comparison
I met on our silvered dating site
the same day I first heard you
connect climate pathological effects
with capitalistic causes,
which immediately won my curiosity
to know
just how deeply knowing
we might go
together,
and not apart.

I met another singer
another meditator
another deeply
physically connected
to Taoist sensory communication
yangly verbal and yin non-verbal,

More physically incarnated
and less metaphysically abstract
less theoretical
merely rhetorical
more mature
aged
connected like wine with cheese
and re-connected
than my own experience
in how to mutually
yet maturely
please.

Last evening we talked.
His voice sings and rings,
warmly chills and quietly thrills.

And, he is closer.
Teaches dance.
We anticipate learning together
how to tango horizontally
without creating an entangled mess
at our ripe old average age
of 69

Which,
when I last dated
was a cooperatively rhetorical
erotic position
and not an age
which we sensually anticipated
without great anxiety
about resilience
of sensual resonance.

For me,
this need not be a win or lose,
either-or situation.
Even less so
if I thought the two of you
would appreciate each other
in this partner searching
lifeline rivered
shivered way,
but that is not what I would anticipate
either of you would say.

So, that is what is on my mind
and heart
and root chakras
this another deep green
ego-centering
and ecosystemic rhetorical day.

Said my vertical horizontal way,
physical and metaphysical
natural and spiritual
secular and sacred
love with you
and hell to pay,
anxiously anticipating
your kind
non-maligned
response.

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Earth’s Superior Wisdom

Revolving Earth knows
from ancient sense-sexual
life experience

That we,
as global EarthTribe regenerators,
do simultaneously experience
seasons of summer north
and winter south,

That we do
already know
and financially appreciate
dualistic capitalism West
and nondualistic Both/And communion
ancient indigenous East multiculturalism,

That we are
already bicameral
Either/Or deductive Left bipolar hemispheric
and Both/And inductive Right dipolar spheric,

That triangulation
of health care choices,
win/win
win/lose
lose/lose
has many warm and healthy,
safe and wealthy,
therapeutic empowering
enlightening systemic voices.

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The Pleasure Principle

I’m not sure what Freud’s Pleasure Principle is all about,
or was about Health and Safety;

Whether it’s in
or out,

Whether hedonistic
and narcissistic
or the mundane
secular
capitalist
corporate product
of efficient sexual therapy
and heartless entertainments.

Whether the Principle is applicable
only to secular masters
for optimal “sacred rights” experience

Or also accessible to sacred slaves
as our secularized vocation
to provide for our nasty property owners,

Whether it is the primary purpose
of capitalism’s efficient,
if ruthlessly competitive,
corporate monocultural deformation
into post-climax apathy
and cynicism
and cruel and unusual punishments,

Yet, somehow,
as I merge into this stream
of organic fossils
still miraculously refueling,

I am sure this Pleasure Principle,
Beacon of Health and Safety Bliss,
Paradise Pursuit

Could only be entered
by those wise enough to recognize
it is cooperatively
globally
multiculturally owned,
managed interfaith communion,
interdependently experienced
and multiplied

Into raptures
of organic/cosmic
internal/external climates
of and for personal
political
economic
ecological
theological
neurological win/win Climax

Of spaciated bilateral Time
dynamically equals revolutionary bicameral Space
in NonZero-Sum
open-holistic yet still emergent
equipoise waves
of self/other co-conscious
co-passionate
co-empathic
co-intentional
co-operative comm-union comm-unication.

Well,
thanks for sharing all that.

De nada;
my Pleasure.

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Mr. and Mrs. Spratt

My father,
who tolerated no fat,
predicted I would do nothing right
or good,
much less healthy,
in my lifetime.

My mother,
absorbing nothing too mean or lean,
felt I could do nothing wrong
now,
so probably later as well,
welfare wellness.

Neither my father,
mother,
or I
seemed particularly surprised
when I rose and fell
somewhere in-between
these two extremes,
as do we all
I suppose.

And yet I wonder
about my father’s hierarchical value structure,
placing perfection on Earth’s highest
biggest
thickest welfare state.

And remain silently awed
by my mother’s reverse-hierarchical terms
endearing depths of greatest compassion
for who is deeper
and thereby more robust
than whom.

I suppose this means something
about where sexuality conjoins
sensuality,

About triangular cognitive structures
amid diamond infolding co-relationships,
about 1’s
intersecting 0-Zones,
about light
foreshadowing dualdark reminders
of perfection,
about fullness of time
within timeless absence,
eternally co-arising.

Although,
neither Yang’s ominous
hierarchical value predictions
nor Yin’s generously interdependent
deep learning hopes,
sexual and sensual,
were all that helpful
for adolescent me,
struggling with spectral we.

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Liberating Perfect Pride

In a perfect world
maybe everyone would have opposite and same sexual attractions,
ambiguously passionate attachments
of compassion’s resiiient arousal.

On a perfectly sanctified Earth,
maybe every species would incarnate only opposite sexual attraction,
attachments of passionate ego-arousal,
male dominant belonging in predation
with female receptively longing prey,
monogamy as exclusive
as monotheistic worship,
monoculturally privileged love,
uniformly felt
structured
in dyadic great nature v spirit divides
between Yang/Yin sexual energy,
faithfully dipolar co-arising,

Rather than endless partisan debates
about which of these healthy freedom
proud visions will unfold
with further commitment to cooperative win/win deliberation,
co-passion,
ego/eco-planning,
structuring health optimal nurturing wealth futures,

Perhaps we could join in double-blind solidarity
to recreate this Earthly Paradise
of compassionate integrity
in all relationships,
all curious and courageous internal/external conversations
consciousness and subconsciousness and unconsciousness
from mother-infant primal
on through international co-passionate eco-politics?
And then listen and watch
for which sensory-neural miracle unfolds?

Maybe in win/win Heaven
of our active empowering imaginations,
what looks like internal either/or sexual politics
also comes to feel like external both/and sensory investment.
What feels globally nutritional
also grows personally healthy.

Maybe if we invest less
in predicting who will win,
males or females,
straights or bents,
whites or blacks,
[patriarchs or matriarchs,
yang or yin,
left or right,
north or south,
west or east,
uniformity or unity,
totalitarianism or liberalism,
divine salvation or humane sacrifice,
fragmentation or integration,
apartheid or cooperative co-ownership,
cognitive polypathic speakers or emotive polyphonic listeners,
win/lose or win/win cultures,

We might, instead,
walk in heuristic cognitive
and emotive
solidarity toward recreating
a more win/win experiential
sensory
co-relational planet,

Where left-brain health is re-conjoined
with right-brain sacred wealth,
trusting timeless regenerations of life
will evolve such radically profound sensory passions,
that these two great options
remain both curiously
and courageously to-gathering
integrity’s sensual-neural non-mendacity,
longing’s eternally changing belonging.

Like DNA’s fractal seasonal structure
of bilateral appositionals,
in which adenine’s spring adventures
never touch guanine’s autumn undevelopments,
just as cytosine’s full emotive climax
never speaks bilaterally without
thymine’s winterish understory
co-passionately 4D listening
for polynomial either/or’s
becoming sensory valued
with interdependent not-not polyphonic
ambivalent
ambidextrously harmonic
profoundly integral scaled and circled feelings
longings
for Earth’s DNA health-wealth spiraling vocation
belonging within MotherEarth’s paradise vacation,

Sensory experiences in curious thymine
rooting for left-hemisphere dominant
and courageous cytosine
seeding right-sensed bilateral co-prominent.

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Pride and Mystic Wonder

I told the nun in charge
of Religious Education
If asked about sexual orientation
I will say
I’m gay.

I want to teach
deep listening learning
not how not to lie.

She wonders why
such forthrightness
feels so important
Are you a recruiter
for gay pride?
Are you a political activist?

Gay pride
makes as much sense to me
as straight pride,
as if our sexual orientations
were something chosen,
accomplished through heroic effort,
like mental health
in a too LeftYang Patriarchal culture
forgetting Left with Right bilateral mindbodies
are sacred gifts
of karmic grace,
to live here with now
in this cosmically interdependent time
as place.

Yet,
while gay or straight pride,
maybe even transgender supremacy,
feel competitively bullying inappropriate,
given these are gifts
not originating from our own accomplishment,
so too
shame and denial
of whichever of these diverse non-predative
victimless
sexually co-passionate orientations
greeted our FirstDay incarnation,
call it PositivEnergy karma
and call it ego-ecosystemic grace,
I see no point in shame,
nor even blaming a corrupt moral environment
for who and where and why
I am meant to sensory-spiritually become.

To lie
would be to teach shame
for karmic grace as we deep learning listening are,
and have been
co-passionately non-violent
born.

My veiled
and roundly black habited nun
observes
Sometimes what and how
and who and why we learn to ego-ecologically love
lies between orthodox happiness
and heterodox despair.

Rabbi Abraham Heschel
taught sacred Love
as Wonder and Awe experience

Joy and Ecstasy
their persuasive climax destination

Toward a mystic flash
of Teilhard’s brilliant CoOperative Omega Pointed Bridge
for reborn synergetic baptism,
but this has not been my path
or hoped for destination,
certainly not warm regarding sexual co-passions
as cause for voluptuous public celebrations
and pride of wonder and awe
I have of myself alone,
or not,
accomplished.

Perhaps
for Teacher Abraham
Wonder and Awe
and sacred Love,
regardless of sexual passions,
all three in one,
reside between sacred WinWin
healthy multiculturing hope
and secular monoculturing LoseLose despair,
pathological,
totalitarian,
fundamentally anti-evangelical.

But,
why would Rabbi Heschel
be a teaching icon
for a Catholic Religious Education Director?

Who can still remember
a Jewish girl child
who knew more Deep Learning Wonder
and Awesome Sacred Ecology
than could be erased
by MisEducation
settling for bleached out lies
against multiculturing mysticism,
eco-spiritual matriotic experience
of warm radiant days
and dualdark NewMoon
revolutionary nights.

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Deviating Sisters

One of my sisters believes I chose to be queer.

Did you remind her
you had no more choice about chasing guys
than she did?

Yes.
But her favorite televangelist
says I must be mistaken,
or just lying,
because who wouldn’t choose to be hated
by all the hetero homophobes
like televangelists,
right?

That makes no sense.
She can’t really believe
you would choose to belong
to any repressed and humiliated minority,
especially during early onset of puberty,
when every girl and boy in any culture
is terrified of becoming different,
or special,
or weeded out of the clickety-clak pack.

Well, as she sees it,
she is in a LoseLose double-bind.
Either I chose to be queer, and am thereby demented,
or God graces all forms of WinWin sexual expression,
which would be contrary to her homophobic enculturation,
so it is easier to believe I am nuts
to choose perversely
than to consider herself nuts
not to choose more graciously,
especially with regard to God’s creative capacity for love,
rather than simplistic judgments
which look and smell and sound like patriarchal sexism
more than radical fertility of God’s healthy wealth
of incarnating love for all children,
red and yellow,
black and white,
gay and straight
and shades of grey transgenderal,
each is precious in our multiculturing
nurturing
MotherEarth’s sight.

What about your other sister?

Oh, she agrees.

With what, or whom?

She agrees we’re all nuts.

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