Uncategorized

Not Often Enough

Sometimes,
not often enough,
I connect with all the good Ones
who grow so much in me

And
when we re-member these times
lost in right now space,
We gather no grand finale harvest

But remain so very grateful
for whom We have been
and where We have gone
and when We might romp once again
before this time’s curious end.

Bending just, and unjustly, around
life’s next grateful
fateful
corner,

Zero summing all these great Ones
who grow so much in graceful We.

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Uncategorized

Leisurely Pleasures

Leisure:
Like retirement,
a feeling
achieved through patient paths
of health
and safety.

Pleasure:
A similar feeling
achieved through polypaths
of healthiest wealth
and risky win/win opportunities,
more actively curious
than passively patient.

Resiliently resonant,
leisurely pleasured
sensory awareness
we can no more be
with the same person,
in the same place,
at the same time, twice
Than we can re-enter
the same river twice.

Baptismal pleasure
is less about one time immersion
than full time rapture.

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Uncategorized

Old WellSprings

From whence springs
eighteenth century wellsprings
of democratizing
healthy cooperative identity?

In that urgent time’s revolutionary uniting States
too soon to celebrate
Independence Day
again
and patriarchally
again
and military-industrially
again
and corporately sponsored LeftBrain academically
again

Caught,
and soon virally aflame
in France
and other
older
conserving royalist
loyal feminized serf serves master estates,

Becoming now a marriage
of independent Fraternity
and interdependent Lady Liberty
repatriotic rematriation
of strong and flowing governance
of self and other,
ego and eco,
yang craves yin
for liberally, lavish health
and conserving disciplined safety
becoming more interdependent democracy
of sensory spiritual
and sensual natural
EarthTribes,

Strong of communal therapeutic re-identifying,
not defying,
Flow of sensory free associations

For Loyal patriots
reincarnating
CoPassionate eco-matriarchs.

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Uncategorized

Silent UnPrivileged Stories

When I was a Big Brother
for Jason,
an African-American 10 year old male,
we went into his apartment
so he could look around
for a long overdue library book.

As I accompanied him
from room to sparsely furnished room,
looking in nearly vacant closets,
cupboards,
drawers,
the only book we found
was a phone book,
looking silently neglected
much more than actively abused.

My first white male privileged
feelings about his Mom
had to do with blaming her
for probably not even feeling ashamed
for her irresponsible choices
while economically and politically administering
their bookless house
in this pre-WWW information age.

But, then I began asking questions.
What could Jason tell me
about his Mom’s life
when she was his age?

What were stories
familiar to her,
read
or retold
or experienced
and re-experienced,
therapeutic or traumatic?

Through this widening narrative moment
of multigenerational conjecture,
hypothesis,
questioning,
contemplating,

I also learned to question
what traumatic straight white male stories
are experienced by gay
and bisexual
and transsexual 10-year-olds,
regardless of racial identification,

And by 10-year-old girls,
perhaps regardless of racial identification,
or even further amplified
by being doubly,
and silently, outside
straight white patriarchal privilege.

I found myself
suddenly
tearfully
incapable of briefly imagining
much less deeply,
unflinchingly contemplating
the trauma
of growing up poor
and lesbian
and black or brown
or too red
or too yellow
without any books
or stories,
read
or retold
or experienced
about how her 10-year-old life will matter,
could be healthy, someday,
would ever be felt safe,
unless held shamefully silent,

Not appropriate material
for books
or retelling
or experiencing straight
white
male dominant stories,
economic
and political narratives
about retributive trauma
and not multicultural
restorative
democratically inclusive therapy.

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Uncategorized

LeftBrain Trauma

My leftbrain deductive reason
now sadly sees 16/20,
since 2016 a patriarchal white privileged hierarchy
of orthodox RightWing religious social history,

Where I am either egomaniacally at the self-righteous top
of my competitive win/lose hierarchical game,
or I am a victim,
bottom-feeder
bleeder prey,
mortally morally wounded,
living in the treacherous and hated boundary
between today’s fading hellish life
and inevitable loss of leftbrain dominant reason
for autonomously existing
merely to survive
for yet another depressing
rainy Monday of meaningless
sold-out
grey capital-monopolistic
Business as either/or
win/lose degeneratively natural
normative
spiritless
deprived
depraved predation
extraction….

Meanwhile
My more both/and co-empathic rightbrain
inducting fluid 20/20 emotions
feels ecofeminist
[not ego-militant]
green, yet full-spectrum,
multicultural warm Earth-lattice of interdependent circles,

Reverse revolving matriarchal
anti-hierarchical encultured
imprinted
co-passioned empowering
non-violently embedded
resonantly wombed
intersectionally organic
transubstantiating left intelligence disempowering
into right wisdom, up inside down,
creolizing
win/win positive healthy communication
of interactive win/win hope,
resiliently enduring faith,
robustly wealthy webs,
not so much either/or walls,
of polypathic
polyphonic
polynomially ZeroZone balancing
binomial
bilateral
bicameral compassion,

Belonging,
safety,
enduring warm significance,
accompaniment,
curious cooperative inquiry
and co-investing trust

Despite leftbrain’s hierarchical non-elite
non straight
non white
non male bottom-bleeder victimization,

RightBrain’s most robust
resonant
and resilient EarthTribe
remembering 20/20 fire circle multicultural singers
and polycultural liturgical dancers,
lyrical speakers
who non-violently listen
with well-balanced co-passioning breath

Bicameral heart-beaters
compassion power,
energy,
healthy democracy of left with right
GoldenRule balancing climates
through positive health co-investment.

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Uncategorized

I Wonder Why

I wonder why
this perennial topic of death
does not interest me

Even my own
evokes cold detachment
rather than invoking warm
heated attachment to denial
anger
disappointment
body betrayal.

Death cast in dull shadow
by my fascination with my own mortal
double-boundaried life

Which came from lives
not mine
and returns,
fades
disperses? perhaps,
explodes?
implodes?
re-unmembers
this individuated Ego

Born and reborn
from and of
Earth’s eco-centered
co-gravitation with Sun and Moon
light and dual-dark
double negatives equating positives,
regenerate Energy’s great democracy
ergodically dynamic
experiential math and con-science
rather than entropically stuck
stale death

From win/win beginnings,
Alpha waves
through death’s atomic
whole ego-embodied system
leftbrain autonomous identity
back through brain systemic holistic individuation

Easing back into this great Climate Sea
of re-emergent win/win becoming,
sacred right mystery and profane left history,
dual-dark enlightenment,
dark images and bright win/win memory
universal-unitarian
future already past interdependent
yang-yintegrity
Energy CoPresent

So much more curious
courageous
dynamic
regenerative
healthy
and interesting
than lack thereof.

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Retiring Nomad River

I finally finished retiring four years ago,
a process that started in my mid-fifties
due to late adopting kids with special needs,
including needs for me to be home
to personally walk them on,
harness them in,
and wheel them back off, their diverse buses
and robotic ramped vans.

During those final weeks of quasi-gainful employment
I amped up my search for a new home
preferably in New London, CT,
because I had visited, and liked, All Souls UU;

But, possibly in Norwich,
where I have some family,
not necessarily white like me,
or someplace more rural
in-between.

Long story short,
which is not like tangential me,
I ended up
or started out,
depending on where this story starts for you
and me
on the south end of Norwich,
just north of the old State Hospital,
seeking healthy justice
above a steep and brooding bank
down to the troubled Thames River.

From here
it is difficult not to notice
how traffic flows
between Norwich and New London.

But, in the case of All Souls UU
and UU Norwich,
not so much,
maybe not enough.

When I lived in the Hartford area
I joyfully attended the Unitarian Society of Hartford,
a fairly large multicultural tent
filled with reviving gospel music.

So, when looking for a retirement destination,
I traveled on-line to uua.org
to see what might be available
in addition to All Souls New London
and found a small cell,
apparently renters quasi-homeless,
Norwich UU,
or UU Norwich,
or maybe both
I hope.

I pictured no choir,
no active faith formation options
for people of all ages
and figured,
probably not right for me.

Long story maybe a little bit short,
it took me over four years
to make my first Norwich UU visit,
recently.

I found somewhat fewer of us
than the number of Norwich residents
on the All Souls Members and ActiveAllies list.

My background is in cooperative economic
and affordable housing development.

With an MDiv from a Catholic seminary
and a double-Master’s in Public Administration
and Community Development
from Southern Illinois,
Carbondale,
where Bucky Fuller once taught
Synergetics,

It feels awkward
to invest in All Souls together
where all souls are welcome,
by commuting back and forth alone in my blue steel truck,
while there is clearly plenty of room
and welcome
available right in my new home town,
where I now know no one except family,
over four years later.

This is a schizophrenic discomfort
for climate activist
and cooperative local community investor
me.

Back in my early adoption years,
I worked in the Office of Urban Affairs,
New Haven,
for the Archdiocese of Hartford,
where I listened to a great deal of turmoil
about aging and poor urban parishes
thinking about how to join forces
to survive
while sharing a clergy ministry team.

So, I wonder
How would it feel to UU Norwich survivors,
activists,
communicants,
healthy and smart registrants to vote local
while thinking global,
to carpool to All Souls on Sunday mornings,
to sit together
in chairs hooked to-gather,
perhaps joined by us other emigrant immigrant
Norwich residents already All Souls affiliated,

To also share a discussion circle
after the chalice light is extinguished
to check in with each other over coffee,
maybe herbal tea,
to reflect on what we heard
and sang
and sometimes endured, today,

To ponder aloud how this speaks
and does not speak
why
and how
and when we arrive together
back in Norwich,
having solved
and resolved to absolve
most of the Thames River watershed issues
rolling back and forth
and swelling in-between
this tidal river’s ups and downs.

Perhaps some of us
or even all of us
would also like to form a Sanctuary Circle
meeting during the week.

Maybe have lunch together,
share our Norwich organizing
and multicultural explorations together,
contribute to All Souls Green Sanctuary
and GRACE anti-racism projects,
restore justice to replace retributive injustice,
speak power with truth,
live together, not apart,
more resiliently.

Perhaps it is possible
to grow more robust
as a distinguished part
of All Souls,
combine resources,
economize cooperatively,
ecologize more holistically
and theologize more healthily
without losing Norwich UU tradition,
focus
mission,
effective
resonance,
green and black and brown and rainbow
resilience.

As for me,
I’m still looking at New London
real estate listings
while troubled about abandoning
a nomad’s home
in which I never let myself fully invest

While dreaming of emigrating further south
downriver toward climatically rising water levels
while still in my first five carbon-burning years
of retiring immigration.

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Masters of Association

“My decision
is not any negative reflection
on you.
It’s not personal.”

This would be a Business School graduate,
meaning, if it is personal,
then it is not political or economic.

“It’s your decision,
for you to personally
and responsibly make.”

This would be a Social Work graduate,
or maybe some variety of therapist,
recognizing that what is personal choice
is also political, empowering or disempowering,
and possibly economic investment or divestment.

What is personal,
like what is political,
is about power
and vested interest,
even if short-term.

“Our decisions
about who runs for office,
who votes which way,
who nominates whom and why,
are matters of individual conscience.”

If this statement
is made by someone in political office,
who knows?
Maybe s/he gets it
that personal is also political,
that individual organic corporations
are also economic actors and investors,
or not.

So, what do you think?
What is your personal preference?
The Business Party view,
segregating personal faith
from political powers of relationship,
influence,

Or the Social Worker model
of power analysis,
individual through global,
competitive through cooperative,
personal through ecopolitical.

I suppose this is at least one reason,
my Republican colleagues,
when I was in a Master of Public Administration (MPA) program,
found the cultural distance
from a Master of Business Administration (MBA) program
subtle
opaque
unclear
ambiguous;
while the Democrats
and Green Party students
found differences between MPA
and MBA cultures
profound,
cooperative v competitive,
looking for Win/Win resonance
as opposed to searching for Win/Lose
ZeroSum endless growth of market share.

If all organic energy systems
are also ecopolitical communicators,
then we all have ecotherapeutic opportunities;

Some great,
some small,
but all one moment,
one message,
one relationship,
one rhetorical association
at a personal political time.

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Life Planning Love

We were sitting in our 60+ sharing circle
on a rainy Tuesday afternoon,
grey and raw and dreary,
listlessly speaking of the need to downsize,
to transition to a more manageable
more safe
more audible habitat.

And wanting to hang onto our independent mobility,
our cars, in most middle-class cases,
as long as possible.

We talked about proactive planning optimal independence,
about eventually living with our kids,
about potential confluence and conflicts of interest,
about shrinking invulnerable distances
between “someday,
as far from today,
as possible”
and the lightning quickness
of crushing physical and/or mental disability,
non-communication ability,
through accidents and aneurysms,
unfortunate and therefore unplanned critical events.

We did not talk about
how we felt
courageous and curious,
brave and patient,
afraid and angrily impatient
about how mortal life is what continues
only one day
one uncritical moment
at a time
while planning for other loving things
to unfold before
“no longer sacred SomeTime
as far away from secular today
as physically AND mentally,
naturally and spiritually, possible.

I didn’t notice,
until later,
we also didn’t look at cooperatively-held
unitarian plans
for win/win
health/wealth outcome optimization.

The hypothetical possibility
today
is “someday” for mutual pre-planning
cooperative downsizing
and shared mobility challenges,
resources,
opportunities,
risks,
vulnerabilities,
strengths,
letting go by first grabbing hold
of shared imaginations.

We didn’t talk
about how much we didn’t like
the empty chairs,
About how we miss, already,
Kate and Betsy
Jan and Sandy
and what they are planning
between shared now
and autonomous then.

Their unique and irreplaceable ways
of planning and not planning
pre-planning and re-planning
life each day
while continuing with other relationships
other communications
communions
communities.

I didn’t talk
about wanting to live with other singers
and maybe even dancers,
with others deeply committed to compassion
for both mortal humans
and immortal living Earth

Hopefully,
providing
inviting habitats of warm
cooperatively-owned and -managed
accompaniment,
creative improvisation,
jazz rhythms,
blues beats,

Especially on raw phrases,
dreary riffs,
rain-drenched
Tuesday jamming afternoons
of richly audible gloom.

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Complex Causes

Do you believe racism and colonialism,
and maybe corporatism and LeftBrain dominance,
are coincidental,
causally related,
or co-arising?

If causal, which is cause
and which is effect?

Do you believe political and economic values/disvalues
are coincidental,
causally related,
or co-arising?
If caused,
which is cause
and which is effect?
Which form of empowering/disempowering investment
takes first position?

Do you believe contagious hate
and destructive predation
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If caused, which is cause
and which effect?
Which came first?

Do you believe masculine
and feminine
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If caused, which is cause
and which effect?
Which comes as first trimester
delineating DNA default?

Do you believe living
and dying
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause-effect interdependent,
which is currently causal for you
and which is dipolar effect?
Which comes first
for you
and for all sentient beings?

Do you believe transcendent becoming
and immanent being
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause/effectively interdependent,
which is primary
and which is secondary
for you
and for all sentient beings?

Do you believe compassionate communication
and healthy relationship
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause and effect,
which is cause
and which is effect
and which came first for you?

Do you believe regenerative health
and degenerative loss
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?

Double-twining emergence of dipolar appositions,
where once lived left-brain bipolar oppositions,
both-and positive and negatives,
where once lived either LeftHealth
or RightPathology trends,
Elite and NonElite
days and months and seasons
of individuals
and homes
and species
and habitats
and revolving
recycling
repurposing
regenerative more than degenerative
win/win living Earth

Composed of daylight predators
and nightmare dreaming prey,
yang overpowering yin,
left and right political
and social
and economic
and ecological wings
and hearts
and minds
and reproductive systems
for soaring up and down
out and in
breathing regeneratively in,
degeneratively out

If unidirectionally causing changing life
without static death,
then which is cause and which effect?
Which comes first?
For an egosystem;
for an ecosystem;
for an holonic ego
within a robust
resilient
re/de-generative system;
for an interdependent ego/eco climate web
of life becoming love’s healthiest communion.

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