Uncategorized

LeftBrain Trauma

My leftbrain deductive reason
now sadly sees 16/20,
since 2016 a patriarchal white privileged hierarchy
of orthodox RightWing religious social history,

Where I am either egomaniacally at the self-righteous top
of my competitive win/lose hierarchical game,
or I am a victim,
bottom-feeder
bleeder prey,
mortally morally wounded,
living in the treacherous and hated boundary
between today’s fading hellish life
and inevitable loss of leftbrain dominant reason
for autonomously existing
merely to survive
for yet another depressing
rainy Monday of meaningless
sold-out
grey capital-monopolistic
Business as either/or
win/lose degeneratively natural
normative
spiritless
deprived
depraved predation
extraction….

Meanwhile
My more both/and co-empathic rightbrain
inducting fluid 20/20 emotions
feels ecofeminist
[not ego-militant]
green, yet full-spectrum,
multicultural warm Earth-lattice of interdependent circles,

Reverse revolving matriarchal
anti-hierarchical encultured
imprinted
co-passioned empowering
non-violently embedded
resonantly wombed
intersectionally organic
transubstantiating left intelligence disempowering
into right wisdom, up inside down,
creolizing
win/win positive healthy communication
of interactive win/win hope,
resiliently enduring faith,
robustly wealthy webs,
not so much either/or walls,
of polypathic
polyphonic
polynomially ZeroZone balancing
binomial
bilateral
bicameral compassion,

Belonging,
safety,
enduring warm significance,
accompaniment,
curious cooperative inquiry
and co-investing trust

Despite leftbrain’s hierarchical non-elite
non straight
non white
non male bottom-bleeder victimization,

RightBrain’s most robust
resonant
and resilient EarthTribe
remembering 20/20 fire circle multicultural singers
and polycultural liturgical dancers,
lyrical speakers
who non-violently listen
with well-balanced co-passioning breath

Bicameral heart-beaters
compassion power,
energy,
healthy democracy of left with right
GoldenRule balancing climates
through positive health co-investment.

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Uncategorized

I Wonder Why

I wonder why
this perennial topic of death
does not interest me

Even my own
evokes cold detachment
rather than invoking warm
heated attachment to denial
anger
disappointment
body betrayal.

Death cast in dull shadow
by my fascination with my own mortal
double-boundaried life

Which came from lives
not mine
and returns,
fades
disperses? perhaps,
explodes?
implodes?
re-unmembers
this individuated Ego

Born and reborn
from and of
Earth’s eco-centered
co-gravitation with Sun and Moon
light and dual-dark
double negatives equating positives,
regenerate Energy’s great democracy
ergodically dynamic
experiential math and con-science
rather than entropically stuck
stale death

From win/win beginnings,
Alpha waves
through death’s atomic
whole ego-embodied system
leftbrain autonomous identity
back through brain systemic holistic individuation

Easing back into this great Climate Sea
of re-emergent win/win becoming,
sacred right mystery and profane left history,
dual-dark enlightenment,
dark images and bright win/win memory
universal-unitarian
future already past interdependent
yang-yintegrity
Energy CoPresent

So much more curious
courageous
dynamic
regenerative
healthy
and interesting
than lack thereof.

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Uncategorized

Retiring Nomad River

I finally finished retiring four years ago,
a process that started in my mid-fifties
due to late adopting kids with special needs,
including needs for me to be home
to personally walk them on,
harness them in,
and wheel them back off, their diverse buses
and robotic ramped vans.

During those final weeks of quasi-gainful employment
I amped up my search for a new home
preferably in New London, CT,
because I had visited, and liked, All Souls UU;

But, possibly in Norwich,
where I have some family,
not necessarily white like me,
or someplace more rural
in-between.

Long story short,
which is not like tangential me,
I ended up
or started out,
depending on where this story starts for you
and me
on the south end of Norwich,
just north of the old State Hospital,
seeking healthy justice
above a steep and brooding bank
down to the troubled Thames River.

From here
it is difficult not to notice
how traffic flows
between Norwich and New London.

But, in the case of All Souls UU
and UU Norwich,
not so much,
maybe not enough.

When I lived in the Hartford area
I joyfully attended the Unitarian Society of Hartford,
a fairly large multicultural tent
filled with reviving gospel music.

So, when looking for a retirement destination,
I traveled on-line to uua.org
to see what might be available
in addition to All Souls New London
and found a small cell,
apparently renters quasi-homeless,
Norwich UU,
or UU Norwich,
or maybe both
I hope.

I pictured no choir,
no active faith formation options
for people of all ages
and figured,
probably not right for me.

Long story maybe a little bit short,
it took me over four years
to make my first Norwich UU visit,
recently.

I found somewhat fewer of us
than the number of Norwich residents
on the All Souls Members and ActiveAllies list.

My background is in cooperative economic
and affordable housing development.

With an MDiv from a Catholic seminary
and a double-Master’s in Public Administration
and Community Development
from Southern Illinois,
Carbondale,
where Bucky Fuller once taught
Synergetics,

It feels awkward
to invest in All Souls together
where all souls are welcome,
by commuting back and forth alone in my blue steel truck,
while there is clearly plenty of room
and welcome
available right in my new home town,
where I now know no one except family,
over four years later.

This is a schizophrenic discomfort
for climate activist
and cooperative local community investor
me.

Back in my early adoption years,
I worked in the Office of Urban Affairs,
New Haven,
for the Archdiocese of Hartford,
where I listened to a great deal of turmoil
about aging and poor urban parishes
thinking about how to join forces
to survive
while sharing a clergy ministry team.

So, I wonder
How would it feel to UU Norwich survivors,
activists,
communicants,
healthy and smart registrants to vote local
while thinking global,
to carpool to All Souls on Sunday mornings,
to sit together
in chairs hooked to-gather,
perhaps joined by us other emigrant immigrant
Norwich residents already All Souls affiliated,

To also share a discussion circle
after the chalice light is extinguished
to check in with each other over coffee,
maybe herbal tea,
to reflect on what we heard
and sang
and sometimes endured, today,

To ponder aloud how this speaks
and does not speak
why
and how
and when we arrive together
back in Norwich,
having solved
and resolved to absolve
most of the Thames River watershed issues
rolling back and forth
and swelling in-between
this tidal river’s ups and downs.

Perhaps some of us
or even all of us
would also like to form a Sanctuary Circle
meeting during the week.

Maybe have lunch together,
share our Norwich organizing
and multicultural explorations together,
contribute to All Souls Green Sanctuary
and GRACE anti-racism projects,
restore justice to replace retributive injustice,
speak power with truth,
live together, not apart,
more resiliently.

Perhaps it is possible
to grow more robust
as a distinguished part
of All Souls,
combine resources,
economize cooperatively,
ecologize more holistically
and theologize more healthily
without losing Norwich UU tradition,
focus
mission,
effective
resonance,
green and black and brown and rainbow
resilience.

As for me,
I’m still looking at New London
real estate listings
while troubled about abandoning
a nomad’s home
in which I never let myself fully invest

While dreaming of emigrating further south
downriver toward climatically rising water levels
while still in my first five carbon-burning years
of retiring immigration.

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Uncategorized

Masters of Association

“My decision
is not any negative reflection
on you.
It’s not personal.”

This would be a Business School graduate,
meaning, if it is personal,
then it is not political or economic.

“It’s your decision,
for you to personally
and responsibly make.”

This would be a Social Work graduate,
or maybe some variety of therapist,
recognizing that what is personal choice
is also political, empowering or disempowering,
and possibly economic investment or divestment.

What is personal,
like what is political,
is about power
and vested interest,
even if short-term.

“Our decisions
about who runs for office,
who votes which way,
who nominates whom and why,
are matters of individual conscience.”

If this statement
is made by someone in political office,
who knows?
Maybe s/he gets it
that personal is also political,
that individual organic corporations
are also economic actors and investors,
or not.

So, what do you think?
What is your personal preference?
The Business Party view,
segregating personal faith
from political powers of relationship,
influence,

Or the Social Worker model
of power analysis,
individual through global,
competitive through cooperative,
personal through ecopolitical.

I suppose this is at least one reason,
my Republican colleagues,
when I was in a Master of Public Administration (MPA) program,
found the cultural distance
from a Master of Business Administration (MBA) program
subtle
opaque
unclear
ambiguous;
while the Democrats
and Green Party students
found differences between MPA
and MBA cultures
profound,
cooperative v competitive,
looking for Win/Win resonance
as opposed to searching for Win/Lose
ZeroSum endless growth of market share.

If all organic energy systems
are also ecopolitical communicators,
then we all have ecotherapeutic opportunities;

Some great,
some small,
but all one moment,
one message,
one relationship,
one rhetorical association
at a personal political time.

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Uncategorized

Life Planning Love

We were sitting in our 60+ sharing circle
on a rainy Tuesday afternoon,
grey and raw and dreary,
listlessly speaking of the need to downsize,
to transition to a more manageable
more safe
more audible habitat.

And wanting to hang onto our independent mobility,
our cars, in most middle-class cases,
as long as possible.

We talked about proactive planning optimal independence,
about eventually living with our kids,
about potential confluence and conflicts of interest,
about shrinking invulnerable distances
between “someday,
as far from today,
as possible”
and the lightning quickness
of crushing physical and/or mental disability,
non-communication ability,
through accidents and aneurysms,
unfortunate and therefore unplanned critical events.

We did not talk about
how we felt
courageous and curious,
brave and patient,
afraid and angrily impatient
about how mortal life is what continues
only one day
one uncritical moment
at a time
while planning for other loving things
to unfold before
“no longer sacred SomeTime
as far away from secular today
as physically AND mentally,
naturally and spiritually, possible.

I didn’t notice,
until later,
we also didn’t look at cooperatively-held
unitarian plans
for win/win
health/wealth outcome optimization.

The hypothetical possibility
today
is “someday” for mutual pre-planning
cooperative downsizing
and shared mobility challenges,
resources,
opportunities,
risks,
vulnerabilities,
strengths,
letting go by first grabbing hold
of shared imaginations.

We didn’t talk
about how much we didn’t like
the empty chairs,
About how we miss, already,
Kate and Betsy
Jan and Sandy
and what they are planning
between shared now
and autonomous then.

Their unique and irreplaceable ways
of planning and not planning
pre-planning and re-planning
life each day
while continuing with other relationships
other communications
communions
communities.

I didn’t talk
about wanting to live with other singers
and maybe even dancers,
with others deeply committed to compassion
for both mortal humans
and immortal living Earth

Hopefully,
providing
inviting habitats of warm
cooperatively-owned and -managed
accompaniment,
creative improvisation,
jazz rhythms,
blues beats,

Especially on raw phrases,
dreary riffs,
rain-drenched
Tuesday jamming afternoons
of richly audible gloom.

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Uncategorized

Complex Causes

Do you believe racism and colonialism,
and maybe corporatism and LeftBrain dominance,
are coincidental,
causally related,
or co-arising?

If causal, which is cause
and which is effect?

Do you believe political and economic values/disvalues
are coincidental,
causally related,
or co-arising?
If caused,
which is cause
and which is effect?
Which form of empowering/disempowering investment
takes first position?

Do you believe contagious hate
and destructive predation
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If caused, which is cause
and which effect?
Which came first?

Do you believe masculine
and feminine
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If caused, which is cause
and which effect?
Which comes as first trimester
delineating DNA default?

Do you believe living
and dying
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause-effect interdependent,
which is currently causal for you
and which is dipolar effect?
Which comes first
for you
and for all sentient beings?

Do you believe transcendent becoming
and immanent being
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause/effectively interdependent,
which is primary
and which is secondary
for you
and for all sentient beings?

Do you believe compassionate communication
and healthy relationship
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause and effect,
which is cause
and which is effect
and which came first for you?

Do you believe regenerative health
and degenerative loss
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?

Double-twining emergence of dipolar appositions,
where once lived left-brain bipolar oppositions,
both-and positive and negatives,
where once lived either LeftHealth
or RightPathology trends,
Elite and NonElite
days and months and seasons
of individuals
and homes
and species
and habitats
and revolving
recycling
repurposing
regenerative more than degenerative
win/win living Earth

Composed of daylight predators
and nightmare dreaming prey,
yang overpowering yin,
left and right political
and social
and economic
and ecological wings
and hearts
and minds
and reproductive systems
for soaring up and down
out and in
breathing regeneratively in,
degeneratively out

If unidirectionally causing changing life
without static death,
then which is cause and which effect?
Which comes first?
For an egosystem;
for an ecosystem;
for an holonic ego
within a robust
resilient
re/de-generative system;
for an interdependent ego/eco climate web
of life becoming love’s healthiest communion.

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Uncategorized

Default Mode Networks

I was never so childhood invincible
as when invisibility empowered.

We are never so integrity distinguished
than when actively flexible.

Earth could channel West-hemisphere wealth competitions
monoculturing
healthiest when East/West nondual WholeEarth cooperative
polyculturing.

LeftBrain psyches of dominant cognitive dissonance
are never so invincible
as when RightBrain prominently cooperative Whole
integrity of Default Mode Network,
invisibly Win/Win bicameral
bilateral
binomially co-passionate.

I have never been so old age invincible
as when invisible ego/eco-empowered,
in/out mediated,
median minded,
cooperative default mode hearted.

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Uncategorized

Ports of Origin

Imagine
each morning
when we wake up
we remember where we came from.

This is never exactly the same place
in our therapeutic imagination
for the same reasons
we can never actually go home again
to that original warm wet womb
from where we first emerged.

One morning
I come from,
and hope to return to,
water.

The next morning
perhaps fire
or Eastern sunrise horizons,
or sacred, yet darkly unformed, hope,
dim memories of Paradise,
integrity,
great great grandparents
so many, like stars
gleaming bright
and fading with first dawn’s light.

Imagine
each night
we drift through our journey so far,
with gratitude for this day’s point of origin
and wonder about our epic history
sharing Earth’s daily orbit rebirthing story,
awed response to where we may start from
again to-gathering
all our tomorrows.

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Experiential Origins

When we lose access
to our most primal Other,
our EarthMother experience
dreamily following DNA’s developmental scripts,
original sacred scripture
of external habitats
becoming internal identities,

We lose not only our spiritual sense of security
but also our natural taste for liberty,
independence,
Freedom to go out from our well-conserved womb
and subsequent multiculturing habitats,
home-base to liberally spread seeds of compassion
as we have always known our purposed meaning,
natural-spirited DNA
unfolding and infolding identity.

When personal identity loses access
to natural sight
we can still hear internal spirit memories.

When we lose access
to natural taste
we can still feel ancient spirits in our starving stomachs,
in our insecure and unfree
and too secure and unliberated
and right enlightened integrating
creolizing
co-acclimating guts.

When we lose capacity
to touch organic nature
we can still feel internal integral spirits,
most without self-conscious voices,
perhaps a few with cries for liberty
and security
or death.

We can smell nature
to know which unseeable spirited winds
waft from which directions,
up and down
left and right
north and south
past and future generations
of light’s actively encultured hope, secure
and unfreedom in despair.

What we naturally lose
we organically incarnate DNA-integrity
gained so far
as individuals,
as species,
as multicultural becoming fragments
extending DNA-latticed families
tribes
living multi-generational laced-web systems,

Sometimes playing external nature with internal spirit Win to Win
for liberating compassion,
and sometimes playing sinister nature v spirit
secular outside v sacred inside detached win/lose
no longer actively securing and freeing enlightened restoration
of communal Truth and Beauty integrity;

DNA’s future health/wealth
timeless nurturing
original wombs and integral webs
co-revolving health-wealth thrival.

When we retain conscious attachment
to our primal Other,
and Her primal Others,
our EarthMother experience
originates sacred re-scriptures
speaking through nature
and listening through secure and freeing spirits
of cooperative DNA health development
ego/eco-identity.

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Uncategorized

Natural Tea Intelligence

“Nature yields to artifice,
not artifice to nature.”
Iain McGilchrist

Winning yields to lost and last identity,
not ego-loss to healthier winnings,
more ecosystemically robust.

LeftWing values for transparent
inclusive
democratic rights
more than royalistic wrongs,
yield to RightWing
nationalistic
white supremacy,
not artifice to integrity
of healthy climax powers.

Integrity yields to dualistic mendacity,
not artifice to InTegriTea,
seasoned by and with Earth
Mothering experience,
memory,
longing,
promise,
passion…

Embracing compassion yields to anthro-hubris snarcyschism,
Win/Win gives out to Lose-society/Lose-individual
divided cynicism,
not Lose/Lose mendacity
found in TegriTerrestrial Tea.

Drinking inTegri Tea
is a wonder spatial
awesomely timeless temporal
way to set aside sufficient Right
over not enough Left time
to communion within
and out our perpetually migrant sensual selves.

When I drink in TegriTea,
I only drink ego’s eco-integrity.

I don’t need to think
about tomorrow’s objectives
but also feel with fellow-migrant in TegriTea subjective
workers yielding to co-players,
mentors yeilding emotive facilitators
of compassioned communication.

I can stop all my alien divestments
while I drink in TegriTea.

When ego stops disembodied abstractions,
I can double-bind eco-attending
in natural/spiritual TegriTea.

There and here
only InTegriTea’s vast watering potential.

Here embodied
and Now timelessly temporal
is only we/me
in TegriTea
co-passionate inspiraling

Between me
and Inte-gritty
natural/spiritual
outside/inside connection,
re-connecting soil and soul.

I don’t want or need a cell phone
or computer
or even language
to watch and listen in TegriTea’s communion.

In RightWing dominant fact,
because I’m not emotionally speaking,
I can wealthier track
within this co-passioning in TegriTea

Ego breathes in,
I am aware inTegriTea’s fragrance
is here,
Ego is aware
my RightWing dominated body
smells in TegriTea feeling
and I’m eco-aware
that passion’s passing InTegriTea
grows healthiest
in resilient HereEmbodied
Now in TegriTea.

“Drink in TegriTea!”
invites a ZeroSoul Zen command
to bring me back
to our true
and trusted EarthMother wounded womb.

Don’t just think about and around
emotionally intelligent communion.

Be Here embodied
Now minded,
climate united in TegriTea.

I am trusting
this vortex time is by climate invitation
and not by paranoid
absence of co-present passion.

I am not yet a spiraling shadow;
I am embodied health
in TegraNation process,
and Earth outside knows
and inside feels
rations and reasons,
loves and passions

This Here/Now
a bilateral vortex in TegriTea’s cup,
deep and yet wide
yang and yet yin binomially stretched out
and down,
north
and south,
west
and east,
right
and left out
and in my tea-washed
tea-fueled
tea-nourished
tea-nurtured
in TegriTerrain co-passion,
spatial spiraling Wonder
returning hiccup in timeless Awe.

LeftWing green nature tea
yields reluctantly
to RightWing disembodied
spiritualized fake-zeal,
not RightWing unhealthy secular artifice
to LeftWing sacred health,
liberally sacred loving
liberate ionic
ironic
iconic IntegriTease’
emotionally intelligent Nature

Yields to artifice,
not cognitive artifice
to sacramental Nature.

Note: Originally inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh’s “Drinking Tea in Mindfulness,” pp. 149-50, The Art of Communicating​.

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