Sexual intercourse would feel as odd and unwelcome as the prospect seemed to me when I was ten. Perhaps this second  virginity is equivalent to what has been permaculturally recognized as the sublimation intrinsic to an authentic celibate vocation. Perhaps there is something in here of relevance to  neo-monastic cultural development and the emergence of deep ecological balance.

As my natural immune system unravels, so does my sex drive. Rather than grasping desire, I increasingly feel vulnerable to everyone. This vulnerability is not just a “mind fuck” mentality but a holistic intercourse of curiosity and acceptance, growing compassion and improved comprehension and communication; greater mindfulness of “right” relationship as balanced loving relationships. Balance, in relationship with others, with my environment, is what increases confluent attraction across all sensory spectra.

Learning to accept our mutually equal subsidiarity, vulnerability, recasts earlier normative responses to total strangers, other species, plant life, Earth, as autistic–overly concerned with protecting my ego-immunity, self-identity as Self, rather than an equally individuated member of Earth’s Regenerative Tribe. I grow grateful for this emotive and affective and effective justice and mercy, in turn growing slowly toward our (0)-sum balanced economy of grace (Western term) or karma (Eastern term).

Positive holistic sensual information receptors bring to Positive Psychology, Ecology, Economic, and Teleological Theory what autistically unraveled monocultural chaos brings to Cognitive Dissonance and Commodification Theory of ecological loss and disvalue.

Perhaps it is the normative cultural commodification of sexuality as a substitute for building slower bridges of holistic communication and sensuality that has contributed so loudly and invasively to our overpopulation, climate chaos, abrasively stinky air, and distress about anomalous gender expression.