Uncategorized

Mindfulness As Usual

If I had an IQ of 17,
would this be normal?

My son,
with cerebral palsy,
no language capacity, no LeftBrain ability to read or write
or speak using linguistic tools,
with no hint of verbal or violent dominance issues,
has an angelic peace-loving IQ
in the 17 ballpark

On several behavioral measures of IQ
(does he have a swallow reflex?
Does he flinch
if his toe is pinched
or his foot is tickled?).

For him,
this IQ is normal,
when he’s feeling healthy,
relatively free of trauma
(including social
and political
and economic
and ecological
and theological
and biological, etc.),

Having a good win/win cooperative,
synergetic,
unconditionally warm regarding day.

And, for me,
his IQ seems normal,
or he would not be
the magnificent young man I know
and love
and care for
and listen to,

As he most times sits in silent
(hopeful bliss?)

Yet sometimes roars his verbal agency
to be seen
with unconditional warm regard
and heard with warm and sacred prophecies,

Our indigenous EarthTribe time
will never be less wisdom
than restoring ecojustice
compassionately co-invested
healthy and safe enough.

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Deep Valleys

Perilous fall risks
these double-binding thoughts
with feelings still nascently attached
positive and negative,
often complexly ambiguous
as an old variegated sock
chew toy

Stumbled over in emotive colored sequences
contrasting tasteful language
comparing visions sweet and sour,
bland touch not grand
but better than feeling bitter
qualitative resonant/dissonant scales
of magnificent maleficence
and malicious magnificence

Narrow
overflowing personally compelling
dispelling private passions
remain within a high and wide
yet deep and narrow
multigenerational polyculture
of co-empathic compassion

To heal sacred MaternalEarth
and thereby correlate
all Her multiculturing
divinely languaged
singularly health-hearted
dizzying slip-shod business

Positive and negative
universal uniting
and severing
ecopolitically co-invested emotions

Eco-logically restorative
climate resilient growing
peaceful co-messymanic valleys
of resonant reconnection

As reliable as an old
hand knit pair
of variegated socks
before repurposed
as sacred scented chewtoys.

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Enabling Empathy

It’s weird
and sometimes wild
living with a non-LeftBrain verbal dominant
aspiring child,
now young adult

I find myself waiting for him
to nonverbally connect
and correct me
about my patriarchal domineering
economic and political ableist sins
of RightBrain felt omission
from commercial value
and, perhaps worse,
my passionately sacred co-messianic
self-responsible
unconditional co-enabling
sins of RightBrain depressive
trauma approach/avoid
ambivalent
obsessive/compulsive
commission
and reiterative recommission.

And
he never disappoints
going to the right
felt point

Could no more lie
or steal
than feel envy
fueling greed
for tomorrow’s self-sufficient hopes
and egocentric dreams

At night
when we sleep,
if not before
then after an overpowering seizure
He can explain to me

No ancient spiritual 1 experience
could be other than HereNow natural 0 feeling
linear and yet circular
regeneratively enspiraling

Without LeftBrain dominant
defensive weapons
1 protagonist neither can
nor would
nor should
retool and lavishly display 0 word voices
outside inadequately disabled numeric language
for nonverbal co-passion’s inside images

Sensory receptive memories,
cause-effect singular explanations
and co-arising circular narratives
of co-redemptive recycling
spiraling vicious
and virtuous
negative 1 bipolarity
and not-not positive non-0 dipolarity
co-arising appositional circles

Not divorcing physical Nature
outside abled bodies
from not just metaphysical
Spirit inside minds

Deep listening back through neurosystemic compassion
wet and warm
and dispassion
darkly parched and cold
bilateral multicultural
multigenerational
poly-paradigmatic
panentheistic
enthymematic health and safe feelings
making and remaking
neurosystemic distinctions

Integrity’s RightOriginal Mind
passion for outside health
and safe internal wealth
co-regeneration

Win/Win default
poly-passioned balance
bilateral

Ego Yang Verbal Left
stern deep-voiced patriarchal
sacred co-passioning
Eco Yintegral NonVerbal Right
pre-bicameral Taoist humming
indigenously outflowing
growing wise CoPassion

For positive-health EarthMother
warm comforting wet wombs
sacred surrounding
positive-wealth AnthroChild
co-operatively panentheistic
wild
belly laughing co-empathic passion

Internally sung and danced
oral wu-wei wisdom traditions
of body/mind
nature/spirit
out/inside formation
flowing co-relational balance
synergetic harmony
symphony
resonant integrity

Grows wiser pre-verbal
cooperatively positive health
than multigenerational
disabling apartheid nightmares
of polypathic abuse
and monoculturing neglect

Anticipating inside/outside mortal
-1/-0 lose/lose
universal cold
and feverishly hot tremors
predicting dark disuniting trauma.

It feels weird post-peak,
and sometimes wild,
continuing to sacredly aspire
to merit this gift

RightMind panentheistic survival
of LeftBrain talking
ego-monotheistic thriving
exclusive AnthroSpeaking salvation stories

Living
and apparently dying
repeatedly
with a non-LeftBrain verbal prominent
aspiring child,
now contentedly sleeping
in compassionate comfort
and organically warm
sacred joy

Hopefully
dreaming that we feel pleasantly weird,
sometimes provoking wild belly laughs,
feeling free outside a LeftBrain verbal dominant
label,
name,
+1 inside v -0 outside frame
EitherSacred Or SecularizedDisEnfranchisedOther
possibly unhealthy and unsafe
win/lose competitive imbalance

Preferring
RightMind prominent
warm and wet wombed compassion
emerging -(-0) inside/outside +1
equitable development dreamwork
emergent compassion conversations

Weird
and sometimes wild
living within a non-LeftBrain verbal
monoculturally dominant

Instead,
a more Here/Now
timelessly balancing
copassioning moment
of in/out-digenous
resiliently peaceful wisdom

To choose soulmates
health wealthy
and wisely

As they choose
to dream with you.

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Orthodox Experiences

I was bruised by dogmatically non-evangelical
Christ monotheistic Jehovah judgmental bad faith
of divine powers
equally entitled
to generously create love
and selfishly act out of jealousy
divine punishment for unfaithful sins
of worship omission
and secularizing commission

Prescribed by the inspired
and kleptocratically negotiated
Greek
and Latin
and English transubstantiations
of AnthroSupremacist visions
speaking
and singing
and dancing
in white male dominant translations

Royal capital is holy
next to divine monopolistic inspiration
of presumably omniscient sacred values
captured by scribes
and conserved by councils
of presumably straight white orthodox
literate males
representing ecclesial royalty

Featuring Jewish Saul
turned Christ Active Revivalist Paul
writing self-governance purification letters
suggesting that ecclesial rituals
of a polytheistic sensual nature
are the opposite
of our most monotheistic spiritual
yet HolySpirit EarthMatriarchal mindful
sacred panentheistic experiences.

I am also more metaphysically resonant
as a YangNatural/YinSpiritual co-passion Taoist
believing through deep listening
to my (and possibly our)
deepest restorative regenerous justice
Yang/Yin co-operative communication intentions
throughout male/female co-investing reproductive
cause-effect linear days
and co-empathic
regeneratively resilient
lunar recircling nights

CoPassioning
yintegral humane sexuality
as our deepest,
highest
and best sacred sensory practice
positive synergy practice
health wealthing practice
till we get ourselves
Yang in and Yintegral out
depolarizing balance
resiliently Left/Right
co-empathic
resonant dialogical praxis

Bodhisattva
co-messianic
co-passionate Left/Right
internal/external communionation
practice
verbally positive thoughts
and metaphysical theories
about nonverbal healthy felt
nonviolent physical feelings.

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Working With Theories

I’m working on this Systems Theory

All existing formal religious traditions
and informal spiritual experience
of Great Sacred EcoLogical Transitions

[e.g. Blue Holocene to
Green AnthroScene]

Originally,
through our divine monotheistic
and/or polytheistic
and/or atheistic naturalistic
shared one root curiosity system
of healthy resilient enculturing nutrition:

“I’ll believe it
when I can see it,
or hear it,
or maybe safe to smell it,
but probably not safe to taste it,
feel it

Feel spiritually interested
and/or naturally disinterested
in my own personal sensual peak
and valley inside experiences,
yet also our professional education
and empowerment-driven
unconditional integrity
of warm cooperative
co-invested win/win therapeutic intent

Born of body/mind neural root systems
and delivered for
restoring wounded sacred Earth’s
indigenous Physical Resilient HealthSystems
are also MetaPhysically Resonant
Mental Win/Win Synergetic FaithSystems

ReInterReLigionReFlecting
Yang/Yin BiPartisan Balancing
Natural Economies of Resilient Health Justice
also produce Spiritually Resonant Wealth
of Peace

AnthroPrivileged,
but not competitive ZeroSum;
more Whole Open Holistic
green cooperative

FatherSun
LeftBrain dominant
verbal enlightening
do not emerge from
Closed MonoCulturally Defensive Systems

dipolar co-arising

Sacred Organically Receptive MotherEarth
RightHemisphere prominent multisensory
indigenously nature/spirit rooted
natural economic nutritional health
systems:

cooperative Win/Win
positive sacred co-relationship thrival
robustly complex networks

win/lose survivalist competitive
ecopolitical apartheid corporate transactions

lose/lose negative desecrating trauma-despair
chaotic anti-communion fading egosystems

bipolar not-not polynomially unbalanced
degenerating

Sacred MotherEarth
spiritually panentheistic
naturally synergetic
ergodic co-balancing energy
positive-1/not negative-0
AnthroPrivileged bicameral balancing health care
neuro-sensory communication systems

Remembering
matriarchal ancient-lined
ringed
circling
spiraling birthing
baptismal waters
within universal
unconditional
unitarian co-empowering
Original Win/Win EarthMother
peak emergent health is wealth
warm and wet womb
formed and flowing
integral spacetime rebalancing
1-Yang/0-Yintegral co-balancing
Whole Open HealthSystems
incubating mutual warm regard

For bilateral sacred enlightened peaks
umbilically reconnecting
co-empowering valleys

Panentheistically still lurking
in all current quietly mindful
through past nutritional faith-based traditions,
this quiet cooperatively co-invested hope
against all win/lose treasons
of win/win healthy resilient
love reasons

PolyCultural positive perception
was originally rooted in
natural food and elimination
and reproductive
ecological resilient co-operating systems,
organisms,
biospheres surrounding ego-core identity systems,
plants and living planets.

Sure,
in this more modern monotheistic branch
of ancient faith traditions
on our Tree of Sacred Indigenous Knowledge,
predative privileged light
and evangelical right
to identify
quantify
define and refine
percentage of God’s sacred
humane individuation

As compared against
a monoculturing GoldRuled Standard
StraightWhiteMale supremacist
LeftBrain nouned
monotheistic renouned right to control
exclusive sacred narratives
of divine light’s full manly power
to control all warm nutritioning
water co-gravitating ReSources

Lurking quietly
in poetry and psalms
and parables
of matriarchal sacred history

Rooted in nature-based
oral traditions,
psalmody
indigenous nondualistic wisdom literature

Not quite so over-invested
in militarized religious war events
witnessed
and victimizing
in potential win/win ways often ignored
by global ecological history

To write down mythology
and passion narratives
and bodhisattva cooperative
green co-invested
restorative justice healing ceremonies,
passion story telling

Vulnerably personal
and yet transparently professional
ego/ecosystemic open
natural mindbody healthcare
resilient history
iconic, sometimes ironically,
of spiritual eco-panentheistic
indigenous wisdom
Gaian wealthcare synergetic
ancient EarthGoddess integrity
of neuro-organic resonant mystery

Still playing with Her win/win
faith-based resilient
EarthJustice theory

Trauma-informed remains
for explaining to a win/win undamaged child
wondering, in face of emergent ecocide,
why would sacred MotherEarth
think it was a good highest and best use
of valuable organic real estate
to over invest in AnthroPrivilege?

So, I’m playing with this win/win
restoring healthy
wealth co-optimizing
empowering and enlightening
Yang/Yin bilateral ego/eco-resiliently felt
brilliant win/win re-connecting
neurosystemic ancient thrival
organic systems history
of AnthroPrivileged
positive co-relational
lurking sacred mystery theory.

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Uncategorized

Earth Hugging

What could I do?

What to do
when your biological,
and even formerly sober ecological,
relationships suddenly veer insanely romantic?

Or worse,
mistrustful
and yet
not always distrustful,
or not,
maybe deeper sadness
and occasional manic gladness
emerging inclusively wider questions
of approach and/or avoid

Both romantic
and yet soberly pedantic
sometimes before,
to plan, for after
feeling up
and/or sore
predicts anxiously down,
as genocide
predicts ecocide,
as biological attraction
follows ecological co-invested transaction
secular lust
must be felt sacred just
to know need for win/win romance
from greed for a winner take all
anthroprivileged chance
to flex power
without sharing light,
capital wealth
without nutritional health,
disvalues of Yang infestment
without Yintegral co-investment values
predation
without co-operative elation

My rabid rabbit hole
suddenly re-opening inter-religiously
grasping indigenously divine romantic
mystery
or sacred nomadic history
not told
or remembered

When mother trees
and father limbs
felt sexy
and bark,
like skin,
felt consensual,
ecologically curious
and biologically courageous

Mystically nondualistic
Yanged up healthy
and yet also,
more kinda ecofeminist
Yintegral safe sex
yet curiously pantheistic MotherEarth
[is, and is not my sacred EarthMother]
outrageously romantic wombing

What to do when
win/win romantic co-investments
don’t go green cooperative ecstatic
resiliently resonating peak experience?

Instead, may feel not just egotistic
but also HumanPredative
pedantic privilege
more than ecologically resilient
and/or romantically brilliant,
depending, I suppose,
on which side of the secular courage
v sacred curiosity
I may feel,
and need,
and want this day

Worshipping manly mountains
and crouching in warm breezed grassy valleys
multiculturally enlightening
and polyculturally empowering

New ego/eco-logical systemic questions
about what to do
when One dominating monotheistic
StraightWhiteMale
dogmatically scripted
incorporated
religion in Power

And yet
disproportionately GrandMother funded
and nurtured
and fed
while marginalized,
still feeling disenfranchised
and stuck

On what to do
when your biological
and even formerly ecological
sacred relationships
suddenly veer insanely win/win romantic

I suppose it has something to do with
avoiding your personal slam-bam purposes
to feed and breed
our EarthRevival slow-grown
inspiraling cooperative
deep sacred meaning
is also highest and best mindbody use,
not abuse

Tipping WuWei toward
P = N(NP)
equitable chance
of ego/eco-systemic
win/win resilient
bio/eco-logical resonant
brilliance,
as LeftBrain Either/Or
Light v Dark
is to RightBrain Both/And
+1/-(-0)= PolyMathic EcoPolitical Equity

Expressed in
polyvagal neuro-systemic communication
polypathic eco-systemic not not mental health systemic
natural/spiritual
thought/felt trauma prevention
internal/external resonant affection
resiliently romantic
good health humored
co-inspiring balance issues

Which keep obsessively
and compulsively,
defensively
and liberally
avoiding
and approaching
fleeing courage
and fighting/freezing curiosity
looping back
to what should I do
when my biological health
fights my former ecological wealth
of co-empathic communication systems,
suddenly and insanely veering
pan-sensory win/win romantic?

Seems a whole lot more
than merely not so win/lose traumatic.

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Learning From Loss

The hardest losses
are those too late to repair
what has been win/win time lost
to despair

Just as love
cannot co-arise
where fear grows
fully uprisen
a prison
predicting anger’s nearby
impetuously apprised
surprise.

So too,
Freedom cannot thrive
where addiction has hard helped
us feel we are not softly worthy
to survive

“Loser” labelled struggles
with addiction
cannot feel free of affliction
nor can giving in
to addiction’s short-term affections,
powers to feel escape
from personal
and communal,
economic
and political,
monocultural
and monotheistic
OverPowers

Social judgment,
blame
and shame,
co-detachment
non-communication
developing hard
stiffly cold silent screaming
excommunication

Depressing loneliness
isolation
self-ostracization issues
win/lose closeted
fear-based shame defenses
against Old School GoldenRule
loss of co-invested love
offenses.

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Therapeutic Synergy

Could chronic stress,
like sleep deprivation,
noise and light and air pollution
also derive
by avoiding barely still alive
high-risk trauma messes?

Sometimes sadly beginning
prior to economic and political puberty

Including multi-generational suppression
misogynistic sex tensions
and monotheistic depression
and homophobic repression,
hateful Othering paranoid impressions,
chronic monocultural climate despair,
uncivil disinvested oppressions

Endarkened
by a popular FirstWorld
anthro-privileged
secularizing, dividing, dissociating
evolutionary theory
of mutual assured predation
damnation
degenerating ecosystemic deflation,
ecocidal extinction
of once sacred synergetic EarthLove
elation

Or at least
co-empowering messianic missions
for restoring EarthJustice
mental ego-health is physical eco-wealth
co-relations.

So, go on
all RightWing
WrongHeaded;
service yourself!

But
I doubt you will find
your God’s RightHand solipsism
resiliently satisfying
much less sacredly edifying.

Uncovering ecofeminists
and recovering peace mediators
are done being your queer punishing bag!
Your indigenous justice
community resonance hag!

Did I hear that out loud?

Oh, any polypathic way,
Does chronic lifetime-anxiety disorder,
win/lose competitive stress,
contribute to multi-generational high-risk trauma histories?

Sometimes beginning long before adult maturing transition
from Either/Or fundamentalist childlike conditions
not Both/And exploring inside/outside
neuro-sensory double-boundaries
in-between healthy, mature win/win resonance
and lose/lose despairing dissonance,
positively and negatively
therapeutically and traumatically
correlated

In older adults
sometimes producing increased market risks
and opportunities of dementia,
with unfortunate paranoid demise

Rather than fortunate co-invested
peaceful
pleasured
mindbody post-traumatic surprise
of warm unconditional outcomes
in win/win Paradise.

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Porky Problems

A porky problem
worth resolving

Is our scientifically hoggish evolutionary
survivalist assumption
that all Creatures that Matter
would highest and best
usefully support AnthroPrivileged
rabidly expanding WealthCare
EcoPolitical Systems

Monopolizing EarthMother’s breastmilk
and extracting fertile fuel
from her commercialized
and marginalized,
raped
and enslaved tits.

Pigs in a mud-warmed pond
experience a health care system
without monotheistic meaning
and not intending
or pretending
any monopoly rights to embodied pleasure,
much less spiritualized Paradise

As deeply as we can communicate
only AnthroGods and their Goddess Concubines
believe in our immortal EarthRights
to entitled lives that exclusively matter
for EarthMother’s healthiest wealth
resilient solidarity
and resonant synergy.

Swine, by compassionate comparison,
gladly show us
more resilient thrival instincts
than avoiding the Killing Butcher
by feeding and pushing our piglets
toward a capital-fueled Trauma Machine

As any pig would know,
survival of the fattest
is not necessarily as enlightened
or empowering
as we might
whole herd EarthTribe
together sacred grow

In cooperative mindfulness,
EarthTribal integrity,
solid
resilient synergy,
with the copassionate mindfulness
of a mystified
post-partum sow.

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Silent Conspiracy

My car-ride silence
is not judging you;
maybe me,
but certainly
and more generously
unconditionally not angry
or shaming
or blaming
you for unpardonable sins
against sainted me.

With you in a powerless passenger seat
and me in a self-punishing driver’s
need to alone defeat
our unshared lonely demons
darkly frightened and angry
terrified trauma
repeat
repeat
repeat

Frozen in this mystical dark
threatening night
mile after agonizing
coldly silent mile.

Self judgment
for addictions to bright pleasure
to glaring peace
to sacred wombs
remembering comfort and joy;
and warmly quiet compassion
listening, hopefully,
for what you can not say
gratefully yet today

Until you are ready
to speak your overflowing feelings,
positive
and negative,
manic
and depressive,
conflicted in-between
comically up
and tragically down,
cooperatively spiritual
and competitively natural,
warm mind wants
and searing body needs

Your trauma narrative
and our therapeutic hopes
and win/win dreams
for terrifying partnered glory.

My silence
is not cold,
not condemning,
but warmly curious

To hear,
and thereby hope to help heal
less silent
more shared sided by side
struggles

Together co-arising
mostly compassionate wars
against past and present unhealthy addictions
passions

Empowerments
and disempowerments,
unconditionally warm
and sacred enlightenments
and calculating cold silent
and severing secular endarkenments,
retributive competitions
and restorative cooperations

Playing quiet conspiracy games
of who can hold his voice longest
and most sadly,
and how we warmly hold
our compassion choice
more gladly

For healthier peace
and wealthier best
Tragic Comedy Drama
in a daily soap opera
series

Of critical
trauma risks
and therapeutic opportunities
throughout this long bad day

Driving not only
lonely in a cold conspiracy
of silence;
more of a warm compassion context
for restoring
and restorying
nonverbal heart communion

Reweaving what you once said
or thought
or hoped
or feared
that time heals all wounds

Except incapacity to remember
how you got them
and how much they cost
us.

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