As absence finds us silently saying goodbye
farewell to every place and memory we cherish
And absent any voluntary theological plans
in conscious development
to ecologically leave us with your absence
of both mind and body,
Pay close attention,
fully invest in,
what feels salutory,
While calmly noting
what feels involuntary
And, where you may hear
All of holonic integrity above
but decomposing Loser usual
When absence of co-passion
finds us quietly saying goodbye
to every reductive relationship,
Farewell to each degenerative place
theology could never cherish.
I am anxious
as my 5:30 beeping alarm
grows defiantly louder,
reminding me of surreal difference
between asleep, longing for better days awake,
longing for more sleep
struggling toward alarming predawn buttons
to release from this first crisis
for depressing life’s day-rousing alarms.
I wish for a more therapeutic,
more retiring way to awake,
if I truly must.
my son who cannot speak
but hears just fine,
Dimple mischievously appearing in full moon’s light.
What could be his difference
between light unconsciousness of competing spoken day
and dark consciousness of cooperating listening night?
And is this so very different
from vast humane majorities of nations,
who speak too much by day to listen
and listen too briefly at night
to speak of dreams we might share
arising once again together
toward depressing buttons of despair
for this another alarming Earth Day.
This Earth day
with too many speaking half asleep
to future invitations;
listening back to this internal nap half awakened
by past convocations
of memory as light
forgetfulness through therapeutic dark night.
My muted son,
though hardly silent,
as he can be a loud red-charging bull
yet in a peaceful playful warrior way
to those who believe we know
his inside sleep
showing through his outside wake
to share Earth’s daytime communion.
He and I
are equally invisible
undiscriminated by night
and, I suppose,
both using light
to brighten differences
between inside me
and outside not yet,
like outside views
impossible without inside longings
to remember our shared inside-outside intentions.
Wishes and fears,
hopes and angers,
loves and hates unraveling by predative day
arisen from our warm dry beds
of praying affluence.
Longings and belongings,
seductions and reductions,
inductions and deductions,
terrible investments and terrific divestments
calculated reweavings by dualdark night
within our Earthly rest
from fully individuating difference.
The alarm still echoes
through my half awake ears
as I stumble before dawn’s light
toward remembering how to become an enabling parent
taught by disabling children of love.
Recalled to how we might awake to love each other more
before this night’s rest reweaving Paradise.
I am anxious
as I depress my alarming button,
a toggle switch icon
transitioning anxieties of sleep
through opportunities of life together
My son turns over
toward his wall of darkening comfort
as he prepares to dream
our Therapeutic Warrior songs
His prayers rise dimpled within me.
Innocence of new birth
Such a sacred thing.
I could not recall its distant unreborn pleasures.
Too worn away
A mundane day after relentless
smoothed-over passive day.
I can only take my fading remainder measures.
Between innocence and torn elder
A midway ride tripping through sacred sighs
and secular screams.
I would seize such natural spirited treasures.
Complexity of integrity
Such a mundane past birth
yet sacred future rebirth.
I have not yet reached for daring resonant fissures.
Innocence of reborn birth
this grey stormed winter reassures.
Mentors of the BeeTrees
come darkening winter
as newborn discontent
waiting to spring forth.
come summer’s diastasis
climax of full-born wisdom
of contentment for and from all four directions
spread across sleeping hearts
of each nighttime regeneration.
From normalizing WestWind toward East colonializing
comes abundant fall in grace
from grace fulfilled in heartier summer,
for grace processing
through deep long winter winds
of (0)-souls abundantly newborning.
From EastWind springs
good news as Easter strawberries
full and blood-red regenesis
well ahead of co-redeeming dreams
for other berries to come after white lillies lead
around green connifers
promising full summer’s heat
by learned lighttime
on this first day
of all gratitude
yet to reborn come
leaders of berries
and baby bodhisattvas
of all four winds,
each with their season,
rational Tao gratitudes
and irrational Confusion platitudes
of sacred yet secular ecology.
winter water darkens
future seasons of gratitude
with summer’s fullblown positive attitude.
As I awake this morning
I remember a song I taught my more oppositionally disposed daughter:
I love you
and you might love me
even if I couldn’t
re-align my four B’s,
these four aligned
If you do
then I will too.
It was part of a dream
as I awoke this morning
I remembered EarthTribe is no longer the same population
living within that song
as when I went to bed
A few of us have died.
A few have been new born.
And so it goes each morning
since I was that new born
overwhelmed by all the collective Four-B wisdom
of older dreams
awakening each morning
to discover a few more have joined us,
coming along behind,
and a few more ahead
are now beyond any further potential
for re-alignment leadership
or even long-lived Fractal-B hums of silent listening.
And so I will go that last night
now leading those who listen
for a swelling population of EarthTribe Crystal-B Voices
greeting each new born pioneer
who joins us for this Earth training turning journey,
Vocation for wiser co-aligning Elders
as just normal-aptic naptime for others
just now begun
for whom we join our minds as one
in and with and for and of
I wonder if our purist unity as EarthTribe
is only RightBrain known and felt in dreams
where reptiles and mammals and amphibeans
like beans and corn and squash
all process more alike than separate,
more interdependently than empty,
without distinctions arising sexism,
without separations co-arising racism,
without asseverational appositions causing self-righteous violence
unless we know these as unruly nightmares
begging to grow more restorative mercy
and thereby less necessity for retributive harsh justice,
patriarchal vengeance is ours!
as EarthTribe slowly shape-shifts repopulation
between each daily-nightly evolving frame
roundly rolling along spacetime’s polypathic avenues
becoming not exactly who we were yesterday,
as there is not sufficient time to quite grasp it all so much
in one timeless time,
just as, in RealTime,
unlike Common DreamTime,
we cannot quite get back
to (0)Sum original habitat
of spacetime’s full-blown diastatic revolution,
still home, disappointed yet again.
maybe tomorrow night
this resonant resolution
may yet come to last
for tomorrow’s recast EarthTribe,
yet perpetually interdependent underdogs,
(read: bitches, eco-witches, Sacred EarthMothers, and MotherTrees,
no anonymous underdog identities undemocratically meant to be
unpolitically correctly excluded)
depending on your preferred bulldog or the b-word identity
of protagonizing ecojustice dreams
where Paradise Lost
looks more same than different
throughout today’s reborn
then through this timeless multi-speciating dream,
more double-binding than simplistic (0)Sum LoseLose
degeneration with regeneration
for no one wakes up tomorrow
to re-create gratitude for dawn’s newborn delight
in FourB eco-alignments
more interdependently flying together
than degeneratively coming apart.
Up from NorthWinds
comes darkening winter water
as newborn discontent
waiting to spring forth.
As I age
the formerly wide chasm between ecstasy and despair
I had not thought this an attribute of maturation,
quite the contrary,
but perhaps an aging crevice,
a thinning fracture
between played-out manic bliss, over-extended harvest,
nondually faces two extremes
of positive major chords and keys
with negative minor tensions
searching for each other out and in,
become too vocal, focal
looking for tacit evidence
apposition yet lives
on another side
of this darkening
Dr. Jeckyll’s confluence
redeeming Mr. Hyde’s dissonance
double-binding midway balance
now become a treacherously tight rope
tensioned for resonance and buoyant bounty,
just short of snapping side against side.
Perhaps wisdom is learning how to equitably co-invest
in both wonder and shock,
without becoming paralyzed in-between these boundless awes,
deep wavering yes and please not yet,
carving a gorge
deep echoing sacred reverence
and secular irrelevance,
ecstasy with ridiculing despair,
boundless sufficiency without endless satisfaction,
reiterating eternal integrity
not yet surely promised
beyond potential disintegration.
If solitude portends sublime co-operation,
what remains for aching loneliness?
Who and what could become redeemed
through double-binding isolations
within voiceless awe
for wonder indwelling silent shock
of ego loss
deep shadowing eco-gain?
To win to lose,
to lose to win,
co-arising deceptions again.
Deeply resonant depressions;
suboptimizing ego dominations.
with hairline fracturing co-definition?
What would be blissful contentment’s promise
without any dissonant content
What are omnipotent spirits
without ego vacuuming materials,
evidence of necessary,
deep double-binding awe
even I within we,
have been something,
rather than the far more statistically likely
nothing at all
He spoke with his ego-systemic body
through his own eco-logical maturation.
She flowed bilateral time
with her ego-eco centering mind
incarnating Earth’s humane regenerate economy.
Together they commune nature-spirit hybrids,
co-redeeming care-giving spirits,
completing each holonic tridium of becoming
one within spacetime’s ecological promise,
three-placed co-present economy
of trilateral political grace,
playing enculturing WinWin games
ego-eco creations of just right mentoring integrity
strategizing cooperative economic-logical health,
this Holy Trinity’s supply and demand
for resonant triaged wealth.
He asked of this grey spirit,
Are we white or black,
male or female?
She responds in gray embodied script
Yes, both white and black,
patriarchs born of bodhisattva matriarchs,
yet not mature all white
and yet not mature all black,
and in-between our ecologic-economic natures meet
with all trinitarian stories past enfolded
and all those yet wu wei unfolding
within Earth’s potential bounty.
Each languaged life,
both embodied left and mindful right relational
internal political landscapes
dawning through Earth’s renewal
of and for external climate health of bodymind
organic integration networks,
integrity of love’s polyphonic wealth.
And so this marriage
wisdom’s logical acquisition
and re-investing body,
with eco-normative mind
regenerates nature-spirit nondual wedded stories
co-arising through each reweaving
incarnate Promise Day.