When personal narcissism
and tribal autism
choose our words
as hurting
threatening
weapons of trauma defense
Rather than choosing wealth
of healing tools
for compassion’s therapeutic unfence
We soon find
that no one cares
to impatiently listen
outside our partisan walls
For whatever future win/win kindness
and EarthCare forgiveness
we cannot trust
will last.
The hardest losses
are those too late to repair
what has been win/win time lost
to despair
Just as love
cannot co-arise
where fear grows
fully uprisen
a prison
predicting anger’s nearby
impetuously apprised
surprise.
So too,
Freedom cannot thrive
where addiction has hard helped
us feel we are not softly worthy
to survive
“Loser” labelled struggles
with addiction
cannot feel free of affliction
nor can giving in
to addiction’s short-term affections,
powers to feel escape
from personal
and communal,
economic
and political,
monocultural
and monotheistic
OverPowers
Social judgment,
blame
and shame,
co-detachment
non-communication
developing hard
stiffly cold silent screaming
excommunication
Depressing loneliness
isolation
self-ostracization issues
win/lose closeted
fear-based shame defenses
against Old School GoldenRule
loss of co-invested love
offenses.
To follow our most transparent Light
To lead the most deeply vulnerable Soul
To accompany Beauty’s most trusted Bright
This compassionate communication quest,
like positive psychology’s best
and whole open systemic theories
about all our most synergetic rest
Resists negative
prejudicial
Retributive Judgment
of EgoSelves and EcoOthers
While positively promoting
TransParency
and VulnerAbility.
NonJudgment,
like NonViolence,
feels far weaker
than positive healing communication powers
of ComPassion.
Yet ReStorative CoPassions
do not seem to co-arise
to the enlightenment potential
of TransParency
or the empowering powers
of VulnerAbility.
This potentially positive Trinity
feels like an almost Holy
Whole
Holonic Triune Truth
Like Yellow sunlight’s TransParency,
Love’s Blue oceans of deep rooted
nurturing
VulnerAble panentheistic Soul,
Luscious Red flaring flames
of passionate EarthBeauty
Perhaps ComPassion
is less about humane contentment
and more about divine Beauty,
red-blooded EarthPatriotic Joy
enthusiasm
vitality
viral win/win contagion,
peak sensory-sexual experiences,
red skies of dawn’s climate vulnerable warming
warning
AND dusk’s multiculturally transparent delight
Invoking PolyCulturing CommunioNations
in a more tripartite egalitarian wisdom
full spectral communicating with,
and for, Beauty
Transparency
Vulnerability
And the greatest of these
is the Beauty of all three
redefining a Whole Open Communal Spectrum
Extravagant
exotic
erotic
intricate
intimate
infinite
sensuous
sensory
incendiary
incomprehensible
ecstatic
elegant
handsome
handfulls
of gorgeous nonviolet
win/win conversive
lose/lose reversive
vulnerably restorative
transparentylregenerative
EarthParadise Passion.
When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
small and ineffective
against depression
descending like a brain fog bank
In this Elder moment,
I have grown faith
even this chronic dark veil
will withdraw,
Although
perhaps not as sure of when
as tomorrow’s fresh green/blue
worldview dawn
Naturally spirited dark nights
for ego embodied wounds
will recede again
When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
rather than healthy
good humored
and safe
with gratitude
For Earth’s panentheistic pleasures
win/win neurosensory practices,
whole-sum dialectical praxis
replete with paradigmatic
revolutionary creolization
musical recreations
across all nations
historically therapeutic
nonviolent communications
When I’m feeling anxious
and lonely,
I am wanting?
Needing what?
To feel healthy
and recognize my situation as factually
and fortunately safe
in some way?
I can say out loud
and take my Verbal Hemisphere dominant self
seriously
rather than speciously,
curiously
rather than furiously.
When I’m lonely
and fear depression’s
disenabling
and unenlightened fog,
am I needing to feel ego-compassion,
eco-systemic expansion?
To see Earth’s restorative health
within
balancing
Sun’s most resiliently revolutionary wealth,
without?
When feeling lonely
what do I most crave?
When feeling traumatized
wounded
internally divided
stuck
dissociated
cognitively/affectively dissonant,
Rather than bilaterally resonant
inside
as outside
deep polycultural revival
and widely
inclusively
multiculturally resilient
Is cooperative
eco-political correctness
what I need
for myself
and with all EarthTribe’s potential
Yang-full Yintegral flow?
Throughout healthy EarthSpace
and wealthy SunRevolving Time,
when feeling lonely,
what does my egobody need,
want,
most crave?
Deepest brave,
courageously transparent,
vulnerably curious way
to stay
safe and healthy
multigenerationally
and multiculturally
and polypathically
Yang monotheistic
and Yin panentheistic,
One full organic ZeroZone
and not, not empty polymathic
entirely
coldly
clinically theoretic.
When feeling anxious
I long for win/win robust anticipation
Gratitude
for a species
too win/lose comfortable
with VerbalHemisphere dominant genocide
and ecocidal ideations
While Elder Hemisphere wisdom
prominently celebrates
Spring rites of Yang fruitfulness
and Yintegral full flow flowering
Truth
and Beauty
Wholeness
and elegant holonic
co-relationships,
co-passion,
ego/eco-systemic Earth
Tribal green integrity
Synergy,
negentropy,
ergodically whole-sum
holonic win/win open
anticipating further enriching
green comforting energy.
When I feel differences
between respected wisdom
and inspected knowledge
becoming invisible,
When I discover transparent distinctions
between rightbrain easy Awe
and leftbrain articulating Wonder,
with or without flavors of unease
between invisible time
and distinguishable space,
Then I here and now believe
we are all in deep climatic trouble
when patrilinear capital competitions
dissociate Yang strong knowledge
from Yintegrity’s potential,
Western knowledge
divorced from Eastern wisdom,
deductive information
severed from inductive systemic needs
for bioculturally indigenous reassurance
Dipolar co-arising
universal health knowledge
of unitarian wealth wisdom
devoid of anthro-supremacist
monoculturing
StraightWhiteMale colonizing,
predative,
win/lose competitive
ballistic bias.
Cultural knowledge
without climate wisdom
is like faith
without good-humored works,
resembles invisible enlightenment Here
without empowering compassion Now,
reassembles theological beliefs
without ecological Great Turning experience
of transparent wellbeing knowledge
within healthy multiculturing wisdom.
Have you seen,
or even felt,
an historical coincidence
between monotheism
and patriarchal theism
and competitive ChosenPeople
monoculturing control issues?
Have you heard
resonant compassioned languages
polyculturing herstoric redevelopment,
ego/polytheistic
nondualistic integral multi-regenerational experience
in-between cooperative ecomatriarchal green theists
and competitive multicultural EarthTribe Circles
thrivalist Ecological Interdependent Spirals
co-empowering multigenerational ReCycles
within co-operative
ego/eco-empowering
Left/Right-Economic Winging
singing bicameral
enlightening secular/sacred bipartisan
co-governance
And Win/Win co-investment
in sublimely divinely competitive
yet playful teams
and tribes
and local community opportunities
to avoid win/lose survivalist
patristic devolutionary risks
By embracing win/win thrivalist
ecofeminist revolutionary opportunities
to polyculturally embrace compassion
when we are at high pandemic
rabid fear and anger frisk.
An important truth of non-profit cooperatism,
as contrasted with for-profit corporatism,
is democratic wisdom
of co-investing capital and equity and interdependence,
giving from a healthy egalitarian heart
is also receiving a wealthier, more resilient, bilateral mind,
mind and body fullness,
ego- and eco-therapeutic resonance.
While true of all non-profit
non-competitive economic and democratic cultures,
this may be peculiarly enhanced by religious multicultures,
interfaith communions of active hope for local,
and thereby,
emerging global health of nutrition-cultured outcomes.
It also seems curious to me
that people with disabilities
and chronically homeless people,
people with significant mental and physical health concerns,
are disproportionately aware
of mystical correlations between internal
and external climate conditions,
chaotic and complex,
peaceful and resonant,
dissonant and confluent.
A balmy blue sky day
is more likely to evoke joy,
Just as cold,
damp
inside depression
political repression
social suppression
lack of economic impression
predict winter’s long hibernating darkness.
It may be
dying and dissonant faith communities,
and zealous triumphalistic fundamentalists
favoring red state nationalistic patriarchal
and homophobic
and anti-feminist fake-patriotism,
are enduring the dreg effects of theological apartheid,
Competitions in who has the most redeeming
right-wing economic effects
while ignoring green growing local democratic multicultural inclusion
hospitality
advocacy
healthy resilience
polycultural resonance.
Such competitors may need
Active participation of those with climatic disability experience,
Those who have recently been released from imprisoning cells,
Those who winter in overnight shelters
and summer outside under the stars,
Those torn apart by inside violence
looking longingly toward memories of outside childhood resonance,
Those trained by State machines to kill
as automatically and robotically as commanded
by the AntiEarth voice of a violent god.
And, such wounds
and lingering climate vulnerability
through trials of impoverished internal spirits
and externally hungry natures,
may need active hope and faith and compassion cultures
communities,
communions,
more than elitist and segregated
lukewarm inside win-or-lose capitalistic faith communities,
removed from worshiping outside blue sky memories,
cooperative climates of healthy resonant faith.
As painful as your transparency is,
I appreciate the integrity you have found
To say this parting of shared habituations
has moved from temporary
to permanent
for you;
for us.
I would have preferred a resurrection
from temporary separation
to permanent mutual admiration,
but I trust you, too,
prefer this shared dream
no longer accessible
to wounded hearts.
I have loved you,
I do love you,
but I have hurt you
perhaps with more wounding skill
than my younger compassion found thrill.
For these deep wounds where you,
we,
need trust,
I regret,
apologize,
Would create healing repairs
through better bilateral winning communication,
as possible,
invited,
cooperatively embraced.
For love invested
I have no apology,
no regret,
no worries about less than abundant warm compassion returns,
revolutions,
deep resonance with Earth’s eternally revolving womb,
timeless culture promoting health,
best practiced when
and where
and while we find regenerating passions,
synchronic wealth.
I realize you are not seeking
warm embraces from some Other future lover;
nor am I.
And yet,
should your Right path offer a renewing embrace
I would share your joy in responding “Yes!”
And, should this miracle
descend upon bald and wrinkled me,
or even us
in some future unfinishable life,
I hope you will want no more or less
than a joyous part
of our continuously extending Family
Of warm-felt relationship
association
friendship
kinship,
sacred communion.
That LeftBrain said,
my RightBrain has a farewell duet with Chris Walker:
How Do You Heal A Broken Heart?
(revised and condensed, lightly)
“I can’t believe what I just heard
Could it be true
Are you the guy I thought I knew
The one who promised me true love
Where did it go
Does anybody ever know
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never beat this much again
Oh no
I just can’t let go
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never love this much again
Oh no
Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to let you go
And were we ever what we seemed
Or were we just fools
Who fell in love
Each with his own dream
And now you say you want to leave
Start a new life today
Those words I thought you’d never say
Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I have finally found
A new life
In my soul
And find that I know how to let you go
You go
How do you heal a broken heart
That feels like it will never love this much again
You go
Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find I know how to let us go.”
We were sitting in our 60+ sharing circle
on a rainy Tuesday afternoon,
grey and raw and dreary,
listlessly speaking of the need to downsize,
to transition to a more manageable
more safe
more audible habitat.
And wanting to hang onto our independent mobility,
our cars, in most middle-class cases,
as long as possible.
We talked about proactive planning optimal independence,
about eventually living with our kids,
about potential confluence and conflicts of interest,
about shrinking invulnerable distances
between “someday,
as far from today,
as possible”
and the lightning quickness
of crushing physical and/or mental disability,
non-communication ability,
through accidents and aneurysms,
unfortunate and therefore unplanned critical events.
We did not talk about
how we felt
courageous and curious,
brave and patient,
afraid and angrily impatient
about how mortal life is what continues
only one day
one uncritical moment
at a time
while planning for other loving things
to unfold before
“no longer sacred SomeTime
as far away from secular today
as physically AND mentally,
naturally and spiritually, possible.
I didn’t notice,
until later,
we also didn’t look at cooperatively-held
unitarian plans
for win/win
health/wealth outcome optimization.
The hypothetical possibility
today
is “someday” for mutual pre-planning
cooperative downsizing
and shared mobility challenges,
resources,
opportunities,
risks,
vulnerabilities,
strengths,
letting go by first grabbing hold
of shared imaginations.
We didn’t talk
about how much we didn’t like
the empty chairs,
About how we miss, already,
Kate and Betsy
Jan and Sandy
and what they are planning
between shared now
and autonomous then.
Their unique and irreplaceable ways
of planning and not planning
pre-planning and re-planning
life each day
while continuing with other relationships
other communications
communions
communities.
I didn’t talk
about wanting to live with other singers
and maybe even dancers,
with others deeply committed to compassion
for both mortal humans
and immortal living Earth
Hopefully,
providing
inviting habitats of warm
cooperatively-owned and -managed
accompaniment,
creative improvisation,
jazz rhythms,
blues beats,
Especially on raw phrases,
dreary riffs,
rain-drenched
Tuesday jamming afternoons
of richly audible gloom.
Who are you?
he asked perpetually, patiently
because I invited him to do so
until our time for contented me
to discover his diversely integrated/fragmented identities,
stories,
critical acting
and singing
and dancing
and warring
and terrorizing
and confronting events
right now,
and in past network iterations
and throughout future synergetic neural regenerations
of lifeline transgenerational memory.
Who are you?
I am an interdependent neural-systemic journalist,
a witness hoping to WinWin reconnect
with cooperatively invested communion ego-courage
to know and appreciate you,
your inhabited past
and echoing future
and my own best regenerative green sanctuary ego-self.
Who are you?
I am curious
about your enchantment
with interdependent neural webs
of communication,
toxic and therapeutic,
between humane capital heads,
comparing and contrasting green economic and nutritional co-investments
in democracy, not privilege,
usually cooperative,
but sometimes dissonantly suffering competing bodies
longing for relief
from EarthTribe’s WinToday to LoseTomorrow mortal enculturations,
wounding marks of perpetually anticipating tensions
about who we are
and are not yet
together.
Who are you?
I am future cooperating courage
to believe our WinWin dreams
and needs,
our hopes
co-arise positive and negative feelings
for and of, against and fleeing from,
green optimizing sanctuary communion
communities,
families,
hearts and minds
restoring polypathic neural democratic trust
communi-nonstatic
creolizing
vulcanizing resilience
between what we think and feel and resonantly say
and where we choose to use
our therapeutic hands and feet,
left dominant minds
punishing and restoring health-right holistic bodies,
Interdependent therapeutic webs
of natural body and spiritual minds
bent toward co-passionate green-means-healthy-grow relationships,
non-sectarian
non-partisan
non-violent
non-apartheid
non-privileged patience
with partial WinWin green sanctuary communions
Actively hoping for EarthTribal DNA interdependent stringing messages
within EarthPlaced integral HereNow messengers
listening, then gratefully speaking
Namaste.
Now it’s time to turn this listening/speaking table,
Who are you?
Then, for a later session,
How are we resiliently green cooperative communicators
communing communion communal
compassionate sanctuary together?
And,
please avoid terms like
communistic communalist
because that raises all sorts of toxic
anti-social isolating unkindness and impatient paranoia
and misunderstanding of original WinWin democratic motives
moving toward green social well-being prosperity,
as if liberality of love
could toxically threaten conservational green therapeutic defenses
found in robust democratic webs of deep resilience
rather than patriarchal fake-walls of privileged resistance.
gdill52 