Uncategorized

ReCentering Domestic NonViolence

This brisk, sunny March morning, I return from delivering my son to his adult daycare van.

Upon opening The Norwich Times, I delight to read the new Center for Safe Futures “will be taking a huge step forward in how well we can serve the growing number of our neighbors who need help with domestic violence…”

After reading the article, I am delighted about this significant half-step toward a more integrated and holistic service structure to improve safety and well-being outcomes for victims and survivors of violence, assault, stalking, physical and verbal hate-crime abuse, black-market sale pricing for using powerless and unheard and unseen and uncared for human bodies commodified to provide third party capital profits, and other disturbing forms of predative trauma.

Violently polarizing drama threatens trust in neighborhood-felt survival, and our civil, compassionate community thrival, every time we hear, and, god forbid, exhaustively watch depressing, national history-making news brought to us by our uncivil, wounded and wounding retributive criminal justice systems; uncaring, unhealthy, and certainly not holistic empowerment systems for nonviolent reconciliation.

My colleagues on the Norwich Youth, Family, and Recreation Advisory Board have become used to my eagerness to celebrate half-steps toward win/win strategic restorative peace while simultaneously sternly reconsidering our missing nonviolent communication step away from retributive win/lose justice systems. World wide webs pitching prey against predator, cultivating my despair about polarizing dissociative drama rooted in divisive demonizing trauma systems that do not empower resilient health and safely resonant domestic wealth.

Down near the bottom of the first front-page column I read, “Service providers and community partners will work together to break the [systemic trauma] cycle of violence and abuse.” Wow! Now this is an unexpected good news mission statement!

On second thought, it does echo messianic scriptured messages about the Christian Prince of Peace’s salvific mission, and that, so far, feels like an aging, poor in spirit, and increasingly despairing half-empty step toward downsizing EarthJustice expectations for global nonviolent peace and justice.

In my wild decaffeinated morning meditations, this eagerly anticipated aspiration, to break the win/lose bonds of systemic trauma, reminds me of a huge covenant change proposed for discussion at All Souls UU, in New London.

“We covenant to dismantle racism and all forms of systemic oppression.” I wonder how we would practice such powerful “Beloved Community” passion. How could our faith communities help break the vicious cycle of violence, abuse, and emotional neglect fueling neurosystemic trauma?

Perhaps Restorative Justice and Peace Reconciliation practices of nonviolent communication could empower transparent and vulnerable dialogue between defendants and predators, so often brought together and stuck together by addictive codependence–which feels safer, and economically healthier than aching loneliness, emptiness, hopelessness, despair of punishment, shame, blame, Othering judgments that we do not merit unconditional warm regard.

My own therapeutic feelings of hope, informed by Multicultural Community Mediation, focusses on safer and healthier and emotionally wealthier compassionate relationships. Empowering intention and win/win designed retention I cannot find in this article. It misses a redemptive half-step that could prophetically declare we will not tolerate the “vengeance is mine” heresy that perpetuates future victimization. Excommunication brought to us by judicial and police systems inciting weaponized trauma among those voted least likely to succeed by disassociated peers.

Is it reasonable to hope this Center for Safe Futures, and all the best intervention and prevention practices advertised by an expanding Family Justice Center model may be fully baptized in the peace-making waters of Restorative Justice?

Will domestically healthy and safe mission statements survive the ribbon cutting to become resiliently saved from past systemic trauma sins of our Straight White Patriarchal fathers?

I guess I’m still waiting, as my acidic coffee stomach turns cold with impatient curiosity, for some other brilliantly brighter good news front-page article announcing the multiculturally grand virtues of neurosystemic trauma-informed therapeutic projects to ReCenter Healthy Bodies and Safe Mind Wellness Futures.

Compassionate futures that restore virtuous communion circles of therapeutic repair–and not viciously retributive, accountability trauma hierarchies continuing to promise more efficiently enlightened from-above services, still half-stepping toward managing a universally disunitarian pandemic of dissociative despair.

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Uncategorized

Democratic Trust

When I drove away from the family farm
to embrace my freshman year
at the University of Michigan
in Vietnam-era 1970,

I was planning on majoring in political science
which later turned into a double major
in communication theory
and positive neuro-psychology

Persuasion,
cognitive/affective bicameral
conserving/liberating bipolarizing dissonance,
and more resonantly trusted
positive therapeutic attitude change.

What I do recall from PoliSci 101:
The well-researched underlying root value
for any healthy,
safe,
resilient democratic polyculture
is not LeftBrain polypathic intelligence
and certainly not more RightBrain
election campaign persuasive beauty,
but profoundly inclusive TRUST

Which,
when I later worked in theology,
rediscovered in what religious traditions
monotheistically refer to as FAITH
and/or
polytheistically embrace as COMPASSION.

Trust also turned out to become
the primary underlying value
for resilient communication
and deeply resonant
mental/spiritual robust health
and neuro-systemic safety

Slow-growing increased capacity
for unconditional regard
of people
and our plants
and our cooperatively-managed planet
developing public health urban areas
and cultivating regenerative farms.

I find it disappointing
and tragic, then,
that our disuniting State schools
coach young democratic residents
in win/lose debate
but not win/win trusted
faithful
cooperatively-intended
nonviolent dialogue.

This may have a causal effect
negatively reproducing Patriarchal-Capitalist
competitive mistrust relationships

Further embedding runaway
vicious circle revenge
militarism
racism
homophobia
sexism
ableism
punishing
criminalizing
imprisoning
Othering justice systems

Lacking robust muscularity
to restore and reward
positive ego-
and eco-
and anthro-therapeutic Trust
through proactive teaching
and studying
and mentoring
and mediating
win/win dialogue skills

For pro-active
cooperative co-investments
emotional,
financial,
political,
ecological,
theological

Polypathically reinforcing
a great healthy
and safe EarthTribe
polycultural university

Universe for engaging
co-passionate trust
in integrity,
synergetic relationships,
cooperatively therapeutic respect

Re-inspecting emergent Trust
through transparent
and vulnerable dialogue,
discernment

Intent to embrace healthy
and safe democratic communication
systems

Useful trust-building
for restoring cooperative farms
and urbane justice areas
we call
United humane States

Which was on my mind
and heart
when I drove away from the family farm
and my high school debate team
to embrace my freshperson
political scientist year
at the University of Michigan
in Vietnam-conflicted
mistrustful 1970.

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Uncategorized

On Winning GameSystems

In a win or lose
either/or binary digital technology game
created from an original WinPlayer/WinGame
co-defining definition,
each player can play regenerative win/lose sequences
knowing
trusting
faithing that eventually a win/win outcome
emerges cumulatively from possible
toward probable.

And what does it mean for the individual player
to win this one individuating winner-contextual goal?
To “beat” the game
is for the game’s creator(s)
to win as well,
a cooperative embodied/intellectual endeavor
within a closed rule system.

It feels no great right-brain wonder
such win-ego/win-eco active hope
of probable consummation
within one mortal lifetime
would become addictive

As contrasted
to the immensity of lose/lose mortal risks
and ungraspable win/win immortal ambiguity
in the vastly grand theft stages
of Earth’s revolutionary
Open Whole EcoSystemic probabilities

Of achieving nutritional win/win opportunities
and avoiding sufficient toxic win/lose risks
of one mere mortal player,

An autonomous left-brain individual
unaware of an interdependent right-brain co-presence
individuating health-game wealthing processes
as timelessly eternal
as forceful Adam with resourceful Eve

As empirical closed rule game systems
emerging from lyrically open win/win harmonic ecosystems,
win/lose Yang endurance
with win/win Yin resilience,
Left brain wealthy strengths
with Right brain healthy sustainability,

Left cognitive intelligence
with Right emotive brilliance,
together holistically open
eternally interdependent
win/win ego/eco-gaming
health/wealth memory player systems.

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