Uncategorized

ReCentering Domestic NonViolence

This brisk, sunny March morning, I return from delivering my son to his adult daycare van.

Upon opening The Norwich Times, I delight to read the new Center for Safe Futures “will be taking a huge step forward in how well we can serve the growing number of our neighbors who need help with domestic violence…”

After reading the article, I am delighted about this significant half-step toward a more integrated and holistic service structure to improve safety and well-being outcomes for victims and survivors of violence, assault, stalking, physical and verbal hate-crime abuse, black-market sale pricing for using powerless and unheard and unseen and uncared for human bodies commodified to provide third party capital profits, and other disturbing forms of predative trauma.

Violently polarizing drama threatens trust in neighborhood-felt survival, and our civil, compassionate community thrival, every time we hear, and, god forbid, exhaustively watch depressing, national history-making news brought to us by our uncivil, wounded and wounding retributive criminal justice systems; uncaring, unhealthy, and certainly not holistic empowerment systems for nonviolent reconciliation.

My colleagues on the Norwich Youth, Family, and Recreation Advisory Board have become used to my eagerness to celebrate half-steps toward win/win strategic restorative peace while simultaneously sternly reconsidering our missing nonviolent communication step away from retributive win/lose justice systems. World wide webs pitching prey against predator, cultivating my despair about polarizing dissociative drama rooted in divisive demonizing trauma systems that do not empower resilient health and safely resonant domestic wealth.

Down near the bottom of the first front-page column I read, “Service providers and community partners will work together to break the [systemic trauma] cycle of violence and abuse.” Wow! Now this is an unexpected good news mission statement!

On second thought, it does echo messianic scriptured messages about the Christian Prince of Peace’s salvific mission, and that, so far, feels like an aging, poor in spirit, and increasingly despairing half-empty step toward downsizing EarthJustice expectations for global nonviolent peace and justice.

In my wild decaffeinated morning meditations, this eagerly anticipated aspiration, to break the win/lose bonds of systemic trauma, reminds me of a huge covenant change proposed for discussion at All Souls UU, in New London.

“We covenant to dismantle racism and all forms of systemic oppression.” I wonder how we would practice such powerful “Beloved Community” passion. How could our faith communities help break the vicious cycle of violence, abuse, and emotional neglect fueling neurosystemic trauma?

Perhaps Restorative Justice and Peace Reconciliation practices of nonviolent communication could empower transparent and vulnerable dialogue between defendants and predators, so often brought together and stuck together by addictive codependence–which feels safer, and economically healthier than aching loneliness, emptiness, hopelessness, despair of punishment, shame, blame, Othering judgments that we do not merit unconditional warm regard.

My own therapeutic feelings of hope, informed by Multicultural Community Mediation, focusses on safer and healthier and emotionally wealthier compassionate relationships. Empowering intention and win/win designed retention I cannot find in this article. It misses a redemptive half-step that could prophetically declare we will not tolerate the “vengeance is mine” heresy that perpetuates future victimization. Excommunication brought to us by judicial and police systems inciting weaponized trauma among those voted least likely to succeed by disassociated peers.

Is it reasonable to hope this Center for Safe Futures, and all the best intervention and prevention practices advertised by an expanding Family Justice Center model may be fully baptized in the peace-making waters of Restorative Justice?

Will domestically healthy and safe mission statements survive the ribbon cutting to become resiliently saved from past systemic trauma sins of our Straight White Patriarchal fathers?

I guess I’m still waiting, as my acidic coffee stomach turns cold with impatient curiosity, for some other brilliantly brighter good news front-page article announcing the multiculturally grand virtues of neurosystemic trauma-informed therapeutic projects to ReCenter Healthy Bodies and Safe Mind Wellness Futures.

Compassionate futures that restore virtuous communion circles of therapeutic repair–and not viciously retributive, accountability trauma hierarchies continuing to promise more efficiently enlightened from-above services, still half-stepping toward managing a universally disunitarian pandemic of dissociative despair.

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Uncategorized

Fading Figments

Deep sleep
seems to be a figment
of my ruminating imagination

Just as my sex life
seems to be a fading figment
of my dark penetrative
and glad light receptive
co-passionate imagination

And trauma
feels like a figment
of my Master Knows Best addictive history
limiting legitimate compassionate love
to exclude all my body’s wrong
but feels so right
sacred places

Thinking I am a bit queerly curious
about integrity’s 1/0 bigenderal
iconic Taoist co-governance
for health care
giving Light
receiving wealth share
Power

Dipolar Co-arising
convex-1/concave-0
bilaterally co-passionate hot potential

Regenerating ego-1/eco-0 co-empathic mindfulness
appreciating timeless win/win balance
yang-1/yintegral-0 cooperative

Co-invested
since before indigenous wu-wei messages
SunRadiant Light/Earth DarkMoon Powers

Deep wound
whole wombed Black Hole
not-not 0 = +1
holonic co-balancing non-systems
felt pursuing win/win grace

Wind
a penetrating figment from above
seems to become flirtatious
with deep and wide
creation-bearing seas
yearning
churning pregnantly below

Where troubling sleep
becomes a figment
of deprived
traumatized
self v other
win/lose chronic
“Always Lose” re-imagination

As colored in
between white supremacist lines
Black Hole sacred figments
of timeless wounded blues
empty of champion crews
for compassionate thrival news.

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Uncategorized

Repair Justice to Restore Peace

Before restoring perfection,
perpetual pleasures
of prosperous peace

I remain responsible,
compulsively responsive,
habitually receptive
to repairing win/lose
past competitive aggressions,
negatively suppressive
non-communications

My resilient repentance
must include self-forgiveness
for over-stressed addictions
to trauma repressors,
for failing to do my best
on a bad day

I usually fail to trust win/win strategic play
and work my best truth
healthiest way,
wealthiest co-managed gift
of sensory sensate
not always so elderly sedate
indigenous life

Among compassionate EarthTribe
redeemed through co-empathic curiosity
impressed by organic co-invested communication.

I struggle toward win/win intentional
restorative justice
adeptly mediating win/lose
bipartisan conflicts
exploring nonviolent communionations

At peace
remaining cooperatively responsible
responsively receptive

Quietly
anonymously
relentlessly repairing wounds
of AnthroSupremacist elitist cold regard
felt both outside blaming
and inside shaming

For cashing out of warm wet pleasures
of unconditional regard
too cheaply
too quickly
too sadly

Even for LeftBrain verbal narcissists,
smugly patriarchal
dishonorable corporate pirates

Champions of retributive poverty-punishing
justice of mercenary prison/court/police/military
monocultures
preying on our young
homeless,
stressed,
terrorized
and traumatized

Left rightwing outside
StraightWhiteCorporate patriarchal visions
of never needing to repair
vicious win/lose circles
growing capital monopolies
rooted in monotheistic true health values
for win/lose survival
of the RightWing anthropocentric
inhumane bigoted fittest

Devolutionary pathology
inviting further monoculturing climates
tipping toward
ecocidal trauma ideation,
warm and humid stress
fire and wind wilding
while wicked partisan polarization issues
distract my highest and best
therapeutic intentions

Before restoring perfect
perpetual communication pleasures

And prospering bicameral
dipolar co-invested balance

Cooperatively invested
in co-empathic curious gifts
for a more resonant
resilient
EarthTribe sacred peace.

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Uncategorized

Bottoms UpRising

Nothing grows naturally
or resiliently,
and certainly not perfectly,
from the top down
or from the outside in

Including pyramids
and sustainable nutrition economies
and healthy
organic
democratic systems.

Some things
that do grow virally
from outside in
and/or over-powering
top down:

autocracy
cancer
kleptocracy
pyramid schemes
viral colonies
capital expansionism
invasive species
toxicity
pollution
trauma

I once spoke at a condominium meeting
about cooperative democratic values
for self-governance

Advocating for transparent
and inclusive choicemaking

And grassroots community maintenance

And social
and skill-sharing events

Sweat-equity
and time/talent exchange
cooperative economies.

The condominium’s attorney,
whom the large majority of members
were about to terminate
along with the autocratic landlord
investor board chair
who hired him
to come to this annual meeting
and explain,
rationally
and legally,
why the residents could not do
what they wanted to do,
which was mainly to get rid
of him
and his organized trauma
straight-white-male Patriarch,

This smug condominium attorney
stood up
when I had finished
to lecture members
and correct me
about we actually do not live
together in a co-invested democracy;
we live in a from-above Republic.

He was slyly speaking
at both the local condo level
and the national corporate
capitalized Republican level

Because, he continued,
unit owners have elected leaders
given exclusive authority to vote on
governance issues
that the uninformed
and unelected laity
lack responsibility
(and possibly
StraightWhiteMale capacity)
to decide.

He misjudged his audience.

This republican authority from above
and from outside
power-over totalitarian business,
rather than power-within democratic empowerment,
was precisely the problem
this meeting had been organized
to resolve,
by democratic recall.

The attorney had his power analysis
backward.

If we are,
in our core
root residential membership
a healthy
and actively cooperative
win/win intentional
health-is-social-wealth
democracy FIRST
FOREMOST
FOUNDATIONALLY

The grassroots of our self-governance
are more likely to elect empowering
and enlightened republican leaders
with a resonant
and resilient
empowering within view
valuing transparency
and multicultural inclusion

For sustainable local
and global choice-making
from the integral
happy
synergetic
robust top

The celebrated envy
of all our benign
and collaboratively empowering
neighbors

Noticing with multicultural wonder
and polycultural awe
that nothing grows naturally
or resiliently,
and certainly not perfectly
or sacredly
or democratically,
from the top down
or from the outside in.

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Sacred SpaceMaking

Dear Neighbors,
community co-investors,
sharing an outdoor green riverside Commons
and an indoor
historical CommonSpace

Both, and all, sacred
to panentheistic me
and probably more mundanely secular
to monoculturing LeftBrain dominant
verbally rationalistic
you

And yet, relationships of thought
and feeling always matter
to cooperative
and effective community
and sustainable educational design

Relentlessly curious
and not the least judgmental,
about who eats fish on Fridays
and who uses cannabis
to incense Buddha Shrines,
grown from experiencing “we” agree
however temporarily
and contextually informed
by ego-trauma narratives
and eco-therapeutic
indigenous
ecofeminist wisdom literature

That we can become
once again
bilaterally literate,
in which I can see
your secular LeftBrain enlightenment
as also
my sacred RightBrain
bipartisan Both/And
appositional co-arising empowerment
for co-empathic listening
and learning
from the “OtherSide”

To Both/And:
Trust that trauma-informed therapies
reflect indigenous
Beauty of ecotherapeutic integrity,
balance,
symmetry,
bilateral co-arising
dipolarity,
integral resilience

Potential to incorporate
and alternatively segregate
what compassion
and kind
robust polycultural consciousness
brings win/win together

To recreate safe learning environments
especially for those most at-risk
of not thriving
in a traumatic monoculturing
corporate environment
of chronic stress,
emotional neglect,
marginalization,
judgment,
ostracization,
shame served from entitled
LeftBrain dominant
StraightWhiteMale monocultural
monopolistic
monotheistic prominence

Endorsing retributive justice systems
cashed and coined in Blame
preferably self-inflicted,
internalized and hidden,
repressed,
suppressed,
not impressed

For not being stress-free
healthy and safe
mentally/spiritually liberated enough
to become smart,
attractive,
kind.

If our goals include education
in how to grow healthy
and safe resilience
for all sacredly integral species,
natural/spiritual elements
kids
children
adolescents

Safe and interactively healthy
for growing effective learning children
in safe and mentally healthy
win/win
cooperatively learning
polyculturally robust classrooms.

Climate anxiety
and denial constrictions
may further ensnare
those most vulnerable
to racism
genderism
ageism
ableism
capital-divestment
patriarchalism
political autocracy
anthro-supremacy
sexism
secularization
colonization
apartheid
classism
homophobia
straight-white-male privilege
win/win cooperative blindness
monocultural silo
of climatic
traumatic degenerativity

Less able to manage chronic stress
and depression
and ecocidal ideation
fears and anxiety,
oppression fronm LeftBrain dominant
patriarchal authority structures
retributive self-righteousness
inspired by monotheistic Father Above
capitalist intentions

To love all
with unconditional regard
and yet create natural law
thrival of the win/lose YangFittest

LeftBrain verbal dominance
having thrived in monoculturing competitive classrooms
threatens those who could offer
compassion
grown from accepting
and honoring expressions of vulnerability,
kindness
learned from nonviolent communication’s
value for radical transparency

Endorsed by Principles of CoOperative Learning,
featuring classroom co-management
for inter-generational
and/or inter-religious
mental health and safety standards

For students, and their mentors
and community
and family mediators,
atheistic and/or panentheistic,
cisgender through transgender,
low stressed through critical
and multiple serious trauma events,

Making effective
and integrally learning
safe spaces
for Ego/EcoHealthy Teams
Communities
CoInvestors
engaged in project-based learning theory,
intending to include
Sacred-Safety Lovers
of green ecofeminist places.

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Disability’s Wisdom

Moderation in all metaphysical
and physical declarations
and implementations
of RightWing
LeftBrain dominance.

ImModeration in self
as also Other
love.

Moderation in all things,
except continuously flowing integrity

Reforming
and propelling
compassionate universal regard.

Passionately love wisdom
that diversely
and re-contextually regards
win/win positive co-arisings
and win/lose negative correlations
to bilaterally become felt
knowing integral
bicameral
polycultural
polypathic
polyvagal
polynomially pleasing praxis.

Unconditionally practice
ecological praxis

Contextually
and spatially
temporally expanding consciousness
into eco/theological contemplative
enabling arts,
spiritual nature-living
indigenous
nondualistic deductive/inductive
exhaling/inhaling wisdom

Peak sensory nonviolent performance
of co-passionately experiential theology
becoming our inside sacredly held Truth
and radically democratic inclusive Trust
and diversely unobtrusive multicultural Beauty
of everyday unconditional neuro-sensory regard

In which win/win anticipation
co-empowers
and co-enlightens
other bicameral win/win MeWe
co-empathic abilities
living exotic bodhisattva healing lives

Teaching us metaphysically
and physically re-establishing
re-framing
re-seating
re-walking
dancing and re-singing
trauma histories
of our together felt
therapeutic horizons
of deep integral meaning.

Peak metaphysical experiences of loving
mystically become body fulfilling
right-brain acts of health becoming
fully alive

Compassion
is a right-brain artistic
and left-brain analytic
integral mind/body process
nonviolent

Engaging win/win trusted horizons
of panentheistic Beauty
and trusted Truths

Reveal a synergetic
cooperatively energetic
multiculturally accessible praxis

Responding to challenges
with our joyful “Yes”
to inter-related
win/win
is better
and healthier
and wealthier
and wiser
than settling for win/lose
paralyzing life
is better than lose/lose
mortal despairing
global climate challenges.

Punishing economic
political
social injustice internally contradicts
resilient health care
like an unconditionally
cooperatively regarded “No Way!”

To lack of sacred enabling integrity
which lose/lose traumatizes
decontextualizes
marginalizes
imprisons
destroys

Compassion’s unconditionally flowing
reforming polytheistic love

Is life’s bilateral
metaphysical potential sanctity,
dignity,
enabling wise integrity
regardless of physical abilities
and left-brain dominant
verbal articulation
enabling communionation
capacities

To write about
moderation in all metaphysical
and physical declarations
and implementations
of RightWing
LeftBrain dominance.

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Addictive Mediations

Addiction is what happens
when mediation doesn’t happen.

Addiction is what happens
with my feelings
when mediation doesn’t happen
in MeWe conscious thoughts.

Addiction is what happens
with bipolar up and down
dipolar co-arising feelings
when compassionate mediation
doesn’t happen in ego/eco-systemic
bicameral Both/And thoughts.

Addiction
to hearing oneself chatter away
is what happens
when more modest mediation
doesn’t happen.

Addiction to fast-paced competition happens
when cooperative mediation doesn’t.

Addiction happens
when mediation
doesn’t, quite so much.

Addiction
to mediation
doesn’t do much.

Mediating
addictions
does all else.

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Therapeutic JustUs

Lori Gottlieb
describes mental health mediators
and dream translators
prescribing more cost-effective therapeutic questions:

Who am I?
What do I want?
What’s in my natural health/spiritual wealth
bilaterally balancing way?

What do I want more:
to autonomously control
OR
to be part of some monopolizing,
possibly monotheistic, Thing
bigger than egocentric Me?

May morph
more effluently co-therapeutic
than affluent expertise advice
into:
What do I want
to safely control
AND YET ALSO
be part of some EarthTribe
polyculturally intelligent Relationship?

Healthier
more inclusive
and indigenous
and holistic
and organic
and resilient
than excluded
and punished
and wounded
and thereby imprisoned
and victimized Me

And my LeftBrain capitalized dominance
affluently attracts Gottlieb’s rational health
and safety questions
about wounded AnthroEgos

AND my RightBrain effluent impressions
of slow-growing ecopolitical affluent feelings
grow improved for win/win cooperative global thrival
midst monoculturing win/lose competitive survival
of local health and safety therapeutic improvement
as a resilient panentheistic stress-reducer
organically connected cooperative management
re-connecting
iEarthTribe inter-religious narratives
sacredly inviting
more effluent trickles
and streams
and rivers
and oceans
of EarthTribe living
loving indigenous waters

Descended from prehistoric
more polytheistic
matriarchal cooperative economies
of co-invested local democratic
domestic energy

Tipping toward Tao balanced
bilateral co-governance
healthy communing nutritional cycles
and recycles of ecofeminist
fertile restorative justice
regenerative healing wombs
also asking:

Who are sacred We?
feeling
when we most effluently
fluidly feel
and formatively think?

What does bicameral MeWe intelligence want?

What’s in our ancient monotheistic
anthrocentric
LeftBrain dominant
encultured win/lose dissociative
wounded
traumatized
stress-triggered
climate anxiety

Rabidly emergent RightWing
punishing
and excluding
and victimizing
denial of anthropocentric harm
and fundamental EarthHealth despairing
Lose/Lose polyvagal
neuro-systemic
binomially dissonant
+P v -NP
EitherLeftOrRight unbalanced
+1/-(-0)
BothLeftAndNotNotRight rebalancing
co-therapeutic Way?

Yang affluent
AND
Yin effluent

Ego/EcoTherapeutically
restoring personal secular Justice
AND BICAMERALLY COMMUNING
panentheistic
co-empathic sacred Peace

And maybe a little joy
now and then
becoming more faithfully
inclusively
restoratively
resonantly
resiliently
regeneratively frequent

Bicamerally communioning
co-arisingly dipolar
nonzero open
sacred
integral
WholeHolyHolonicEarth

Systemic eco/theo-logical
trust in therapeutic
not RightWing anthro-elitism
embracing
EarthTribe restorative justice
public health affluence
is also resilient sacred peace
public safety effluence,
reformatively reflowing political ego/eco-integrity,
co-empathic panentheistic compassion.

Unlike our left-hemispheres
taught
and monoculturally
RightWing capital over-invested
win/lose zero-sum assumptions,

Truly therapeutic
EarthTribe resilient polycultural wisdom
is more of an effluently joyful
Eastern bodhisattva peace-growing process
than an affluently measured
messianic critical judgment event

Which I believe
is what the New Testament
good news of Jesus narrative
is ego/eco-systemically
all Holy Nature/Spirited about
indigenously peaceful
Truth affluent
and sacred Beauty effluent,
definitely not RightWing
LeftBrain dominant,
wisdom.

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To A Superior Judge

I could not do what you are mandated to do
every day on society’s justice bench,
weighing retributive justice
against restorative healing.

I cannot look at police
and correction officers’
routinely criminalizing vocations,
and injudicious levying of fines
against the young
and black
and brown
and homeless

Punishing prison sentences
for the most obvious trauma victims
of chronic blue-shirt bullying,
theft,
not really clever lies,
racial profiling,
diminishment
and derision by militarized
and miseducated
mercenaries of a rabid Estate.

My son,
now twenty-seven,
was not expected to reach full emotional maturity
until his early thirties,
as evinced by research on ADHD.

However,
that pessimistic projection
may be optimistically skewed,
not accounting for trauma histories
common to significant learning disabilities,
nor a special education black male experience
in a racist and homophobic “corrections” society.

Economic and political maturity
security
integrity
may never arrive at the Promised Land
for the young black male
separated from his birthmother during infancy
to be parented by a mixed-race gay male couple,
having to defend not only himself
but his out gay younger brother
from predative peers
under the radar
of teachers
and school administrators
disabled by “zero tolerance”
means zero compassion
retributive justice
dysfunctional trauma systems.

This is the third time that police officers have failed
to include in their self-righteous reports
that they took hundreds of dollars out of my son’s pocket
and put it in theirs,
and triumphantly reported only a fraction
of the high quality,
organic cannabis found in his car,
while the majority disappeared

Not reported,
not seen,
not returned;
stolen from my young
black
homeless,
high school diploma with a fourth-grade education,
son.

If my oldest son could easily choose to work
at a full-time
living wage job

If he could get to work on time,
on the right remembered schedule,
with a reliable car,
and feel like he was not being judged,
ridiculed,
and bullied by peers
and supervisors,
shamed and blamed for not being smart enough,
clever enough,
quick-witted enough,
middle-class white enough,
man enough,
successful enough,
then he would not choose to spend long hours
and sleepless nights
delivering the only therapeutic self-medication to others
that has helped him numb the pain
of childhood,
community,
chronic post-traumatic stressors
which have led to his current social,
economic,
and political ostracization,
and potential imprisonment.

I am a certified multicultural community mediator,
so my training is about how to most effectively support
those experiencing trauma
and actively looking for restorative peace
and resilient social justice
therapeutic outcomes.

Mediators begin with identifying the victim(s) feelings
safety needs
and healthy wants,
and then explore the probability
that perpetrators too are victims
of childhood,
community,
and environmental
trauma histories,
fraught with
win/lose zero-sum
contextual stress
critical and chronic
non win/win events.

From that lose/lose potential perspective,
my son has been repeatedly victimized
by police officers
defensively trained
to tolerate their own predative
bullying behaviors.

If anyone would benefit from jail time,
and/or fines,
it is the perpetrators of organized,
anti-social crime.

But, again,
from a restorative justice perspective,
blue-shirt officers, too,
have been victimized by a militarized,
miseducated retributive justice system,
rooted in judgment,
blame,
and shame

And not compassion,
curiosity,
and contextual intelligence

Which is why I could not do
what you are mandated to do.

With unconditional regard,

GD, MDiv, MPA,
and heartbroken DD’s Dad

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Choosing Happy Health

My round white anti-depressants
were trying their faithful best
to listen to my ecofeminist
wise old woman
gardening neighbor,
pulling aggressive weeds

Sharing with me
her morning meditation reflection
immediately after entering dawning eyes
and before exiting her dreamy
comforting
fertile bed

Her opening
and excavating self-invitation
to choose body health nutrition
and mind happiness nurturing
which are snugly associated
for her
like peas and carrots
remembering well-versed voice
intention

But,
not so much for me,
now able to choose health
almost every dawning day
and dusky night
but still struggling
for post-traumatic omnipotence
to thrive toward happiness
by empowered choice,
even if not enlightened voice
articulating all the many thankful ways
remembering well-cultivated rejoice.

What my gardening neighbor
and I speak of
feels like my dull
and darkly present
spatial stuck unchanging place

Which she
unlike me
can also remember
as having evolved through time
from current EarthTribe regenerating days
becoming nurturing seasons
within each annual surviving incarnation

Reversing back toward warm
welcoming first dawn light’s
empowering sacred
thriving invitation.

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