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ReCentering Domestic NonViolence

This brisk, sunny March morning, I return from delivering my son to his adult daycare van.

Upon opening The Norwich Times, I delight to read the new Center for Safe Futures “will be taking a huge step forward in how well we can serve the growing number of our neighbors who need help with domestic violence…”

After reading the article, I am delighted about this significant half-step toward a more integrated and holistic service structure to improve safety and well-being outcomes for victims and survivors of violence, assault, stalking, physical and verbal hate-crime abuse, black-market sale pricing for using powerless and unheard and unseen and uncared for human bodies commodified to provide third party capital profits, and other disturbing forms of predative trauma.

Violently polarizing drama threatens trust in neighborhood-felt survival, and our civil, compassionate community thrival, every time we hear, and, god forbid, exhaustively watch depressing, national history-making news brought to us by our uncivil, wounded and wounding retributive criminal justice systems; uncaring, unhealthy, and certainly not holistic empowerment systems for nonviolent reconciliation.

My colleagues on the Norwich Youth, Family, and Recreation Advisory Board have become used to my eagerness to celebrate half-steps toward win/win strategic restorative peace while simultaneously sternly reconsidering our missing nonviolent communication step away from retributive win/lose justice systems. World wide webs pitching prey against predator, cultivating my despair about polarizing dissociative drama rooted in divisive demonizing trauma systems that do not empower resilient health and safely resonant domestic wealth.

Down near the bottom of the first front-page column I read, “Service providers and community partners will work together to break the [systemic trauma] cycle of violence and abuse.” Wow! Now this is an unexpected good news mission statement!

On second thought, it does echo messianic scriptured messages about the Christian Prince of Peace’s salvific mission, and that, so far, feels like an aging, poor in spirit, and increasingly despairing half-empty step toward downsizing EarthJustice expectations for global nonviolent peace and justice.

In my wild decaffeinated morning meditations, this eagerly anticipated aspiration, to break the win/lose bonds of systemic trauma, reminds me of a huge covenant change proposed for discussion at All Souls UU, in New London.

“We covenant to dismantle racism and all forms of systemic oppression.” I wonder how we would practice such powerful “Beloved Community” passion. How could our faith communities help break the vicious cycle of violence, abuse, and emotional neglect fueling neurosystemic trauma?

Perhaps Restorative Justice and Peace Reconciliation practices of nonviolent communication could empower transparent and vulnerable dialogue between defendants and predators, so often brought together and stuck together by addictive codependence–which feels safer, and economically healthier than aching loneliness, emptiness, hopelessness, despair of punishment, shame, blame, Othering judgments that we do not merit unconditional warm regard.

My own therapeutic feelings of hope, informed by Multicultural Community Mediation, focusses on safer and healthier and emotionally wealthier compassionate relationships. Empowering intention and win/win designed retention I cannot find in this article. It misses a redemptive half-step that could prophetically declare we will not tolerate the “vengeance is mine” heresy that perpetuates future victimization. Excommunication brought to us by judicial and police systems inciting weaponized trauma among those voted least likely to succeed by disassociated peers.

Is it reasonable to hope this Center for Safe Futures, and all the best intervention and prevention practices advertised by an expanding Family Justice Center model may be fully baptized in the peace-making waters of Restorative Justice?

Will domestically healthy and safe mission statements survive the ribbon cutting to become resiliently saved from past systemic trauma sins of our Straight White Patriarchal fathers?

I guess I’m still waiting, as my acidic coffee stomach turns cold with impatient curiosity, for some other brilliantly brighter good news front-page article announcing the multiculturally grand virtues of neurosystemic trauma-informed therapeutic projects to ReCenter Healthy Bodies and Safe Mind Wellness Futures.

Compassionate futures that restore virtuous communion circles of therapeutic repair–and not viciously retributive, accountability trauma hierarchies continuing to promise more efficiently enlightened from-above services, still half-stepping toward managing a universally disunitarian pandemic of dissociative despair.

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Uncategorized

Growing Healthier Hopes

For measuring fleeting successes
of punishing policing justice,
we have overly relied on recidivism rates
in response to curiosity about
How to decrease crime.

For enjoying compassion
of restorative
healing justice,
we rely on win/win mediation
to grow deep resonance
and widely resilient integrity

In response to curiosity about
How to increase health
and safety
and happiness
locally egotherapeutic
and globally ecotherapeutic.

Retributive justice
fails a healthy and safe
wellness society
as it continues to punish
and excommunicate wounded
win/lose damaged criminals.

Meanwhile
community-based visions
for restoring wellbeing
equity
justice
become increasingly effective
and resilient
as parents
and teachers
and leaders
shift our victimization focus
from CRIMES, violent and/or financial,
to healing victims of TRAUMA

Personal
and systemic,
political
and economic,
locally genocidal
and globally ecocidal.

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Uncategorized

Democratic Trust

When I drove away from the family farm
to embrace my freshman year
at the University of Michigan
in Vietnam-era 1970,

I was planning on majoring in political science
which later turned into a double major
in communication theory
and positive neuro-psychology

Persuasion,
cognitive/affective bicameral
conserving/liberating bipolarizing dissonance,
and more resonantly trusted
positive therapeutic attitude change.

What I do recall from PoliSci 101:
The well-researched underlying root value
for any healthy,
safe,
resilient democratic polyculture
is not LeftBrain polypathic intelligence
and certainly not more RightBrain
election campaign persuasive beauty,
but profoundly inclusive TRUST

Which,
when I later worked in theology,
rediscovered in what religious traditions
monotheistically refer to as FAITH
and/or
polytheistically embrace as COMPASSION.

Trust also turned out to become
the primary underlying value
for resilient communication
and deeply resonant
mental/spiritual robust health
and neuro-systemic safety

Slow-growing increased capacity
for unconditional regard
of people
and our plants
and our cooperatively-managed planet
developing public health urban areas
and cultivating regenerative farms.

I find it disappointing
and tragic, then,
that our disuniting State schools
coach young democratic residents
in win/lose debate
but not win/win trusted
faithful
cooperatively-intended
nonviolent dialogue.

This may have a causal effect
negatively reproducing Patriarchal-Capitalist
competitive mistrust relationships

Further embedding runaway
vicious circle revenge
militarism
racism
homophobia
sexism
ableism
punishing
criminalizing
imprisoning
Othering justice systems

Lacking robust muscularity
to restore and reward
positive ego-
and eco-
and anthro-therapeutic Trust
through proactive teaching
and studying
and mentoring
and mediating
win/win dialogue skills

For pro-active
cooperative co-investments
emotional,
financial,
political,
ecological,
theological

Polypathically reinforcing
a great healthy
and safe EarthTribe
polycultural university

Universe for engaging
co-passionate trust
in integrity,
synergetic relationships,
cooperatively therapeutic respect

Re-inspecting emergent Trust
through transparent
and vulnerable dialogue,
discernment

Intent to embrace healthy
and safe democratic communication
systems

Useful trust-building
for restoring cooperative farms
and urbane justice areas
we call
United humane States

Which was on my mind
and heart
when I drove away from the family farm
and my high school debate team
to embrace my freshperson
political scientist year
at the University of Michigan
in Vietnam-conflicted
mistrustful 1970.

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Uncategorized

Rewarding Inclusion

I doubt it was a philosopher,
more likely an emperor,
but possibly both,
who first explored this sad relationship
between exclusion
and punishment,
colonialism
and repression.

I’ll bet it was a Taoist mother
afraid bad weather would smother
all hope of restoring future peace
who first engaged our glad elationship
between inclusion
and cooperative reward,
creolization
and multicultural
graceful impressions

This, our win/lose
zero-sum
retributive justice point

And yet also our win/win
nonzero-exponential
spiraling
revolving
restorative peace
counter-point

Balancing tipping points
toward cooperative polytheistic
polycultural possibilities,
secular and sacred,
for slow-growing resilient healthy seasons
and polyvagal
universal feelings
of neuro-sensory evolving
revolving safety.

Accidental exclusion
and intentional derision
of people with disabilities
win/lose dismay
disqualification
from LeftBrain
RightWing dominance

Together,
neglect and abuse
co-arise feelings of shame
self v other blame
punishing judgment
for being born
not LeftBrain
RightWing dominant enough
to earn our keep
in a commodified work force
neither enlightened playful
nor empowering peace-filled feelings

Industrially confined to slave
and prison
and asylum labor

PreIndustrially restoring wisdom
includes priority for inclusive
and incisive win/win intended
healing communication,
sustained healthy and safe
nurturing relationships,
growing multicultural
and ecopolitically rewarding trust.

Retributive justice
worships powers of royal affluence
while sacred restorying
of democratically inclusive peace
engages effluent co-powers

Of LeftBrain
RightHeart conserving
enlightened health
through resilient polycultural
anthro-wealth
of cooperative vocation

AND

For RightBrain
LeftHand liberating
feelings of safe empowering wealth
through resonant polycultural
polytheistic vacation,

Universal warm disregard
of pompous kings
and distinguished philosophers
disabled by LeftBrain
RightWing greedy punishment
exclusively disabling
anthro-integral
polyculturally resilient
tipping point balance

Rewarding inclusive RightBrain peace
restoring LeftBrain justice.

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Another Storm

Another storm threatens to come in,
feeling my responsibility
for uncaring
and unresponsive history

Fearing you
more than loving us

Setting out your pails
and plastic tubs
to catch cold
and dreary drips

Impaled remembering
past wet enemies
becoming darker spots
as moisture threatens,
building mold untold
as yet
by angry lips

Dripping windowed frames
and ceiling fixtures
of your felt losses
not equally carried
by more comforted me
opaque with tender crosses

Buried
in how lonely
love can feel
hidden in Earth’s evolving top,
improbable to see

Our together threatening
leaky roof may drown,
which you would have fixed
some months ago,
if you could do so
on your own.

This storm pauses
and brighter rays suggest
a sun still shining
behind dark uncivil distress

Clouds could uncover
our disassociation,
poor and hovering
coveting a sun-drenched nation

Calculating our cost in cash,
but not in minds and bodies
to stop stormy smothers
of inside raining
draining issues,
deep core tissues
thundering crash

Warning we must get this done
before another wild wet storm
fearing you
more than loving us,
undone

Darker clouds build to leak again
while I explain why
you still can’t trust me
to invest in unstormed peace

A contenting roof
unconditionally done

So all EarthTribe
can safely put away our pails
and nails,
defensive weapons,
buckets,
overflowing pans
and spans of climate panic

Now rumbling receding thunder
of fearing you
more than loving us

Turns toward replacing damaged health,
repriming stains repainting wealth
of more warmly wild respect
while together musing
about who is bare surviving
and is not thriving
with what prestorming care,

Remembering who is dry
and fair
and prosperous
and why
we fear this tragic storm
more than loving weathered warm.

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Sympathy Isn’t Quite Empathy

To affirm and promote acceptance
of one another
and all together one
is to also affirm and promote
growing capacity for active empathy,
not settling for passive,
sometimes also ToughLove aggressive,
sympathy

The best possible outcome
being mere liberating tolerance–
which is still a big evolutionary step up
from conservative survivalist
intolerance,

Which anyone
who is in any way
not BusinessAsUsual
LeftBrain dominant
StraightWhite patriarchal
can tell you,
at probable great anecdotal length
personal
political
economic
cultural
education sadly replete
with unsystemic intolerance
of indigenously sacred
Wisdom

That win/lose passive tolerance
is NOT active
democratically healthy
wealthy multicultural acceptance,
an immensely positive moral
legal
spiritual
natural polycultural
deep immersion value

Omnipotently integral potential knowledge
of why eco-political empowerment
and enlightening wisdom
are more than mere personal win/lose tolerance

LeftBrain dominantly verbalized
capitalized
fathered YangPower
against EarthMothering YintegraLight

Of HerStoric wise-felt feeling
knowledge
co-investing in empathic Wisdom

To affirm and promote acceptance
of one another
and all together one.

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Uncategorized

ReStorying EarthJustice

Restorative justice programs
empower victims
and enlighten remorseful perpetrators

To become active co-responders
in a partnership
to brighten win/lose
left-brain dominant trespassers
in the win/win grace of forgiving
fore-gifting all us Trespassers
as we forgive our TransPassive exploiters
straight white privileged monoculturists
overpoweringly competitive capitalists
climate eco-extractive pathologists

Distracting
detracting from positive win/win eco/ego opportunities,
integral red through green multiculturally conversant
comfortable without ego-inflating
super-powering
political rightwing incorporated
anti-natural scientists,

They/We become anthro-supreme apologists
on our worst days
in our most terrible survivalist transitions,
deniers of problem climate technologists,
ridiculers of sacred green ecologists,
polycultural theologists

Red neck and effaced klansmen
against indigenous kin,
especially those green
snooty
smartass ecofeminists,
matriarchs multicultural
suspiciously ego/eco-panentheistic Gaian

Polyphonically nondualistic space/time worshipers,
EarthPeace Revolutionists
Through many-pathic healing
surfing seasons

Polymathically rational reasons
natural spiritualistic
empowering light
of whole win/win WorldViews

Polynomial Yang 1.00% omnipotence
0.0 nondual system yintegrity, omnipresent
co-balancing, cerebrally elliptic

NonZero sums irrationally cryptic
flowing down polynomial DNA streams
gospel green
black/white
deep dark bright
dialogical learning
listening intentions
of nonviolently communicating Yang/Yin
BiLateral Power

Loving yintegral light/dualdark
reMEME win/lose stories
reimaged win/win
multiculturally democratic health
of EarthWise perennially indigenous wealth

Restoring justice powers
of non-elite ecopolitical victims
to proactively respond to trauma
as win/win compassion teams

Cooperatively enlightened
by win/lose wounded white ghost voices
preferring win/win healthy wealth
of choices

For integrity’s greater RightHearted
restorative health
co-passioning
bicamerally co-elliptical potential

For all us economic victims
and politically anthro-supremacist
EarthClimate pathological
technological
anti-ecological
monoculturally theological
unjust to Earth illogical
RedDragon predators.

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Yesterday’s UnManifest AV Destiny

Today’s unvaccinated experience
within
and upon natural spiritual Earth
is yesterday’s clearly
most purely
manifest destiny.

On the other hand,
what tomorrow’s post-pandemic destiny
will most healthy manifest
cannot be rooted
in other than silent gratitude
for currently positive deviant,
healthy ecological,
economically co-invested
multiculturing democratic
socio-economic empowering
capital wealth

Manifestly,
even liberally, win/win obvious
to future regenerative communicators,
preserving
protecting
providing
provisioning
previsioning AfterVaccine restorative
HealthSystem History

Our most ego/eco-logically healthy destiny,
her and his most manifest polypathic wealth
absorbed therapeutically
co-redemptively
silently this late sacred Earth enlightening
empowering dusk

Of co-manifest ecosystemic destiny
to preserve health and safety
resilient history
of natural/spiritual
indigenously bicameral
interdependently multiculturing humanity
born of EarthMother’s
most sacred light
and deep flowing power manifestations

TheoEco-logical
HeavenlyWind spirit manifestations
resurfacing
yesterday’s Deep EarthWater
bio/geo/eco/ego-culturing climate health destinies

Naturally manifest
Here Becoming
Now also spiritually feminist

Grateful reborn health
conserving wealth
of safely liberated AV Being.

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Love’s Constant Complexity

Interesting
that Christian theologians
have traditionally agreed
God is unchanging

Because steadfast in love,
loyal in omnipresence,
faithful to omnipotent powers,
all with regenerative intent.

Yet Eastern philosophers
look at these same healthy
safe
empowering traits of Earth’s complex
cooperative
regenerate nature,
and see,
and/or hear,
organically sense,
this universal enlightenment
unveils a metaphysical reality
of sacredly relentless Change.

God is as unchanging
as transient thoughts
and feelings of complex compassion,
responding to Nature’s strength
through flexibility,
unconstant evolution
through constant revolutions of Earth
and all Her interdependent Tribes,
Forms,
Functions,
Flow.

Western patriarchal
capitalistic concern
about a changing God of love
and retributive justice
and unEarthly peace
in a rapturous Heavenly future
may include issues of confusion,
miscommunication
between Nature’s complex cooperative Relationality,
and secular Theories of Relativity.

If everything is relative
to everything else,
then morality,
health,
safety of unchanging natural
and spiritual principles
become shifty,
unreliable,
unpredictable,
potentially dissonant,
evil,
degenerative,
pathological,
dissociative,
terrifying,
terrible
more than terrifically co-relational,
cooperative,
loving,
uniting through mutual flexibility
more than uniform
through unchanging orthodoxy.

But, Eastern nondualistic theory
is rooted in multicultural nonviolent experience
of fluid Relationality,
compassionate cooperativity
of constant win/win healthy natural change
which does not suggest nihilistic chaos
of space v time
or mass v energy

Instead,
constant nuanced regenerative relationship
of time equals space-cubed proportionality,

Zero polyphonic energy
regenerating One
polypathic co-relational Universe

Naturally within
and spiritually surrounding
Earth’s constant/correlative
enlightening co-empowerment.

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Restoring Supreme HealthJustice

My litmus test question
for supreme and more everyday justice makers
organic bakers
RealTime fakers:

Have you read research results
comparing retributive justice unhealthy outcomes
to those of good-faith restorative
cooperative
justice processes?
Repairing green reparations
rather than locking up long-held repressive sexist lies
and throwing away liberty’s dwindling healthy discernment key
ring of bilateral co-passionate consciousness.

Could you justify voting against abortions
for those you have raped and pillaged
and still wear the mask of restoring justice
for all broken minds and embodied hearts?

When restorative criminal justice
invites and complies with WinWin peace-filling standards,
how much greater the legal-moral constitutional system
inviting and complying with transparent WinWin democracy
standards of and for co-operating health
with wealth
rather than
ego-eco anti-therapeutic lack of mutual invitation

Leaving rapacious room for anthro-centric stages
of monoculturing punishment,
retribution,
revenge
less sacred
and more secular locking up wild ecofeminist creativity
passionate restoring nativity

For historical Win-Lose evolutionary naivety
supplanting cultural Win-Win SpaceTime relativity.

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