Uncategorized

Employment Trauma

My protagonist today,
a Gay Black Religious Mature Male,
not quite ready for silver-grey Obama temples

Is off this morning
to a new full-time job,
8 to 5,
Monday through Friday.

He has been out of his calming,
regular custodial collared routine,
for over two years,

And has long been anticipating just this kind
of post-traumatic economic morning.

Up with the sun,
shower,
shave,
dressing just showman right–
not shaman flashy
but not beatdown polyester–
lunch in his red and white pristine cooler
generously filled with fresh
wholesome food

He is not feeling
like he will be able
to eat.

His stomach is Post Traumatic Employment Stress
churning.

He looks into his refrigerator
while telling me
he is in knots
and at least half a mind wishing to not show up,

To tell them he doesn’t think right.
Doesn’t feel he can get through his uncontrolled fear
and self-loathing for not manning up
while They background check
his suffering character references.
He doesn’t think or feel he can survive this day
even though he has no doubt he can do this job
better without Them.

He wants to give up,
walk away if he can’t freeze
in his more health and safety habitat place.

I am stunned into silence.
This is hard to hear,
to link up with how excited he was
to apply
and to get a call
from his would-be “nice guy” supervisor,
after meeting suspicious him.
He told me how surprised he was
to feel like this Straight White Male
was one of the good,
reasonable,
non-toxic guys.

Eventually,
after our anxious potential hero heads out
with heavy feet
and knotted stomach,
I recall how he might have felt
when he left his last full-time employment day,
dismissed
without notice.

His employment record reads “tardiness.”
But, off his common knowledge record
is a victim of systemic racism,
a supervisor’s personal superiority prejudice,
global heterosexist homophobia.

Victimized by StraightWhiteMales
for being who he is,
and not getting support from brown-skinned guys
he thought were potential allies
because he has no proper heterosexual credentials.

Talk therapy may be widely used
to prepare his LeftBrain to reconstruct
past traumatic experiences.
The therapeutic goal,
to resolve through better contextual understanding
in a LeftBrain verbal
rational way.

This can be helpful, I suppose,
but PostTrauma disordered victims
need PreAbundant nurturing anticipations
fading frozen fears
of further victimization,
economic and/or political trauma
due to personal identity rejections
that have historically been cause for criminalization,
colonization,
enslavement,
sending out evangelical missionaries,
in nationalistic Patriarchal/Capitalist
drunken salvific supremacist history.

Dissociative experience of eco-political trauma
is as deep margins felt
in our RightHemispheres
interdependent serotonin/dopamine fading flight
outside our BusinessAsCompetitionUsual,
patriarchal-capitalist,
Either in
Or out,
deductive verbal labeling LeftHemispheres

Capable of calmly,
curiously,
courageously distinguishing thought-out purposes
for our win/lose past behaviors
within an overwhelming evolutionary
Fight Makes Patriarchal/Capitalist Right
competitive manly worldviews
justifying punishing severances.

Trauma,
to ecological
and psychological
and economic
and political relationships,
deeply retains fear and/or anger
neuro-sensory systemic
terrifying memories

Post-Loser re-victimized
by re-experiencing active distrust,
dissociation
as the opposite of Attachment’s sacred experiential promise
of cooperative peace,
Win/Win behavioral and verbal communing safety,
personal health prosperity
on a planet growing in eco-wealth anticipating provisions.

In my protagonist’s developmental
special employment case,
I also hear theological trauma–
deeply felt shame
and blame,
and White-righteous Straight Capitalist/Patriarchal
judgment.

Such deep trauma responds most resonantly
to having a positive gain experience today,
this morning,
while filling out pre-employment paperwork,
feeling those he meets are divinely delighted
and delightful.
Then he may feel already a bit relieved.

He may, thereby, rediscover sufficient environmental resonance
therapeutic courage
to continue showing up with a positive,
let’s get it cooperatively done,
nonviolent gratitude attitude

To open sufficient hope
for potential healthy and safe team players,
we all need respect
for human and civilizing rights,
but we are transformed
by downright resiliently appreciative
multiculturally experienced values.

Each day, at work and play,
can invite affirmation
for polypathic transparency

The gospel’s “Poor in Spirit”
are our vulnerable person-ego identities,
expecting merely reasonable
eco-therapeutic compassion
and actively hoping
for polyculturally intelligent communication.

Best therapeutic practice
for anger
fear
hate
greed
exploitation
enslavement
criminalization
colonization
predation experiences
ruminating traumatic employment narratives
are new compassionate work and play environments
of cooperative courage
to get through our shared sacred vocations
in this another EarthBeauty
and SacredTruth
re-education day.

All Mattering Employment’s vocationally Great Again
meaning is found in our economically felt
politically experienced solidarity,
our cooperative win/win generosity,
our co-investment
in pro-active peace
and co-passion;

Not our traumatic enslavement,
repressive employment,
and past discrimination
by retributive Patriarchal/Capitalist
straight white gatekeepers
who have also had traumatic losses.

Perhaps our collective traumatic experiences
are more systemically acute
for those with more difficult personal
and political
and economic births
into a Straight White Patriarchal/Capitalist religion
where one’s own dark and queer embodied experience
may be unjust
unhealthy cause
for a traumatic can’t win Loser
Life is a slow
unfair death sentence

Uttered by LeftBrain dominant
Patriarchal/Capitalist
anti-peace communications.

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Uncategorized

Controlling Narratives

It all comes down to

Do you believe more
in enlightening original Earth creation stories
or
in empowering messianic passion narratives.

What comes down
inhaled
drawing in light
may reasonably appear like a monotheistic weapon
to avoid patriarchal-capitalist loneliness
loss

What goes out
exhaled
empowering polytheistic tools
to embrace polypathic-cooperative
co-passions.

What are we coming down and up
in and out toward?

Life,
love,
purpose,
destiny, I suppose,
whether secularly and democratically
universally enlightening multicultural stories
or sacredly and theistically
unitarian narratives
co-empathically empowered.

Yes, I see
your massive LeftBrain verbal story
Truth OR Fiction

AND then raise our RightBrain cooperating feelings
mythically narrating more.

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Uncategorized

Performance Grade Meditations

In my ecotherapeutic world view,
right brain and left stratosphere friendly,

I know two interdependent types of people,
Mushy Meditators
and Prickly Performers.

These two, together, help all of us win,
democratically and multiculturally,
when Performers
listen to
and read more compassion remediating Meditators’
performance medications.

And,
frankly, it would also help shape up
and encourage peak experience resilience
if Meditators
would Perform with more cooperative co-investments
and ecopolitically win/win compassion
where dutiful Truth actively celebrates joyful Beauty
when neuro-sensory bliss
explodes into throbbing wonder
and climaxing awe.

We need,
(or is it just me?)
compassionate integrity
more LeftBrain high
and deep learning RightBrain bicameral
transregenerative win/win joy communion,
locally
and nationally
and globally not stern PatriarchalCapitalist competitions

Better resilient resistance
through ecofeminist
multicultural LeftBrain OverPerformance Cancellers

Counselors for patriarchal Performance addiction
cancelling further capital competitive investment
in dark rumination
rather than win/win mushy Meditation
medication

Inducing my ecotherapeutic world view,
right brain and left ecopolitically friendly.

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Uncategorized

Fear of Failure

I know you don’t want to hurt
or even disappoint
me

And I know you don’t want to hurt
yourself.

Yet still your shame
and self-blame hurt

Your self-judging
punishing closet frame
suffocates our transparent life
my caring curiosity craves,
and mutual vulnerability
our sharing courage braves.

Addiction to feeling happy
is not free
and connected to sensory satisfaction
nor to ego significant gratification
and certainly not natural and spiritual bilateral wealth
of healthy feeling substantiation,

Which, as you know,
I also recognize as body and mind healthy
choice voices.

Before you even small voice object,
I also recognize you may feel natural
or spiritual choice
has nothing to do with driving off
without “goodbye,
see you safely soon.”

If no physically tolerable choice
of resources to feed serotonin
and water dopamine,
I know, from years of isolated,
neglected experience,
how frightening loss of lonely ego-powered control
can feel.

Speaking not of choice,
but inside swatting interminable Voice
never still
until you self-shame
and blame
hiding hurts
and unfree frames
us both,
unhappy you,
not Here,

And me
loving enough for Us,
not yet Now

Still worrying
what will voiceless nonchoice happen
disempowered There
and unenlightened Then
suddenly Amen

Our silently uninvited End.

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Uncategorized

Complicated Relationships

In complicated relationships,
and complex story telling
with regeneratively developing
and degeneratively undeveloping characters,

Personalities with powers to inflict harmful
punishment,
and healing
forgiveness,

Shunning
and harassment
or compassion,

Neglect
and abuse
or solidarity,

Who switches from and
to positive
to negative,
and back again
first
and last

Depends on where and when we choose to begin
our journey down selective memory’s avenue
of speaking and reacting
and not listening and responding,

But this primary choice
of Alpha and Omega point
is further influenced
by what we choose to notice
and assume is perceivable,
malleable,
alive

And what we fail to remember
to reconnect
to return again
to restore
to omit
to set aside
to assume

Among all our political and economic
civil and uncivil history of individual relationships
and family systems
and community networks
and EarthTribe polycultural species
come and gone before
on Earth’s round revolving stages
of unfolding
unraveling

And refolding
reforming
redeeming
rewinding
regenerating
restoring historic healthy relationships.

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Uncategorized

Integrity’s NonScarcity

I can experience integrity of time
and dissonance of not enough
but cannot find
define
refine a line
in-between
anxiety and anticipation

win-eg ohealthy center
to win-ecosystem wealthy advocating
divesting of a punishing win/lose shadow
anthro-supremacist leftbrain dominant world
view

Feeling committed to change
strategies restoring peace
on
and in,
above
and beyond awesome
and wondrous sacred
divinely secularized humane
EarthJustice

Could never become regenerative
through degenerative win/lose
ZeroSum scarcity
predicts dissonance about punishment

AND
Peace will never spontaneously regenerate
when diminishing multicultural esteem value
for win/win NonZero sums
of integrity’s Truth means BeautyTwo
restoring climates of warm felt justice

Through integral,
permacultural,
polycultural
global climate health Justice
restoring inside
outside Peace
of sufficiency
simplicity
sustainability
surrounded by EarthDay seas
of gratitude

Win/Win trusting attitudes
of ecosystemic deep
and emergent wide experience
through multi-sensory
multi-generational
poly-regenerational reflection
ego-inspired
and eco-witnessed

BiCameral Left with Right co-operative
co-reflection identity confluence,
curious confidence,

Integrity’s potential
slow-steeped tea
of sufficiency
robust simplicity
solidarity through win/win
elegant engagement

Restoring EarthPeace
through multiculturally appreciative Justice
integrating sustainable EarthView dialogue

AND
not diving so deeply
in disastrously dissonant
deductive dominant
EarthScarcity debate.

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Uncategorized

Red Economics v Green Ecologics

HeteroSapiens have bipolar developed
miraculous capacities
to stretch and blur
legitimate moral peace initiatives
subordinate to licit legal judicial systems

Judiciously approved punishment
for misdemeanors
felonies,
cardinal
and moral
and carnal
and original sins
requiring flat fees
regardless of capacity to pay,
imprisonment,
enslavement,
lynching,
beheading,
burning at the stake,
chemical injections,

Capital disembodied punishments
NOT defined
refined
divined as unusually cruel retributions
against those creatures legitimate society
has decided to eliminate
as painlessly and personlessly,

Decontextualized from unfortunate eco-political circumstances
extending BusinessAsUsual retributive justice
because humanity continues to fall short
of commitment to global green win/win peace
non-violent communication
LifeCulture

Is not punishing DeathCulture
which remains judiciously licit
socially sanctioned
retribution

Justice punishingly nonpeace prevails,
rains down from Heaven’s Whitest
Pearly Gates
without hope or intention
of lion/lamb co-passioned win/win
green casteless peace.

Mind and body shocking actions cruelly taken
by retributively judicious
StraightWhitePatriarchal real property owners
appear historically unusual
in our socially licit extremes
of hidden torture
rape
extortion
commodification
monetization

Publicly debated
when publicly inflicted experiments
in optimal pain thresholds
and most cost-effective ways to kill

Whipping to DeathCulture
up to the limit of skin and nerves
to continue breathing
longing for peace
in a demonic
sadistic
greedy
market-serving
win/lose
capitalistic desocialized justice system
disempowering
and unenlightened
absence of active green peace hope
for win/win cooperative
co-invested options.

Licit judgmental world views
that cannot safely see
the integral
healing universally usual
uncruel potential
for win/win restorative justice systems

CoRedemptively uncriminalizing
by cooperative co-ownership
in a vibrantly healthy
interdependent wealthy democracy
inter-positive multicultural
ecopolitical EarthPeace
re-informing our sacred place
in this health-justice planet

Practicing non-violently communicated
restorative co-redemptive justice
win/win focused deliberations
rather than trying to cope
with increasingly viral chronic stress

Of avoiding cruel
and unusually win/lose suboptimizing
compromises

Of integrity’s Great GreenPeace Transition
post-pandemic prophetic
post-climate pathology profits
post-millennial proponents
for restorative justice circles

Centering on Earth’s Win/Win
ego/eco/theo/geo/bio/social/psycho-Logos/Mythos
Original NonViolent Dialogue
rooted in multicultural Creation Stories

Of green indigenously redealt peace
health-systemic ReCreation’s ReStory
speaking positive interfaith CoRedemptive Justice,

Divinely inspired
by CoMessianic humane EcoBodhisattvas
playing and working with win/win uncruel
unusually unpunishing nonviolent games,

Multicultural strategies
for legitimate compassion voices
making more peaceful LifeCulture
ego/eco/theo-logical
cooperative peace-experienced choices.

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Uncategorized

Healing Unusually Cruel Justice

Everything
and everyone
we have ever legitimately loved,
we will lose.

Mentally embracing
facing this problem
of biological mortality
is half of our potential
multigenerationally licit grace.

The other half,
more redemptively front
and ego/eco-centering,

Everything
and everyone we licitly hate
and have ever feared,
we may never legitimately choose
to lose.

Embracing these opportunities
to let go of misunderstandings,
neglect,
and abuse,
cowardice,
and avarice,
avoidance
and active dissociation,
failures of chronic irresolution
and climatic dissonance,

Lack
Of legitimate appreciation
and licit healing support,
Of legitimate wellbeing acceptance
rather than merely licit tolerance,

These are a legitimate moral problem
of immortally illicit injustice,
bad eco-political systemic karma.

Letting go of hate
is a new win/win growth opportunity.

Grabbing onto love
is an old growth risk
of inevitable ego-autonomous
deeply personal loss.

Legitimate loss
for those relentlessly engaged
in not counting these self-identified costs
against compassion’s globally timeless benefits
is also illicit win/lose monocultural suffering
for a win/win multicultural
nonviolent trans-communicator
for restorative EarthPeace
and LicitHealth
LegitimateWealth
Eco/Theo-Justice.

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Uncategorized

ReStorying EarthJustice

Restorative justice programs
empower victims
and enlighten remorseful perpetrators

To become active co-responders
in a partnership
to brighten win/lose
left-brain dominant trespassers
in the win/win grace of forgiving
fore-gifting all us Trespassers
as we forgive our TransPassive exploiters
straight white privileged monoculturists
overpoweringly competitive capitalists
climate eco-extractive pathologists

Distracting
detracting from positive win/win eco/ego opportunities,
integral red through green multiculturally conversant
comfortable without ego-inflating
super-powering
political rightwing incorporated
anti-natural scientists,

They/We become anthro-supreme apologists
on our worst days
in our most terrible survivalist transitions,
deniers of problem climate technologists,
ridiculers of sacred green ecologists,
polycultural theologists

Red neck and effaced klansmen
against indigenous kin,
especially those green
snooty
smartass ecofeminists,
matriarchs multicultural
suspiciously ego/eco-panentheistic Gaian

Polyphonically nondualistic space/time worshipers,
EarthPeace Revolutionists
Through many-pathic healing
surfing seasons

Polymathically rational reasons
natural spiritualistic
empowering light
of whole win/win WorldViews

Polynomial Yang 1.00% omnipotence
0.0 nondual system yintegrity, omnipresent
co-balancing, cerebrally elliptic

NonZero sums irrationally cryptic
flowing down polynomial DNA streams
gospel green
black/white
deep dark bright
dialogical learning
listening intentions
of nonviolently communicating Yang/Yin
BiLateral Power

Loving yintegral light/dualdark
reMEME win/lose stories
reimaged win/win
multiculturally democratic health
of EarthWise perennially indigenous wealth

Restoring justice powers
of non-elite ecopolitical victims
to proactively respond to trauma
as win/win compassion teams

Cooperatively enlightened
by win/lose wounded white ghost voices
preferring win/win healthy wealth
of choices

For integrity’s greater RightHearted
restorative health
co-passioning
bicamerally co-elliptical potential

For all us economic victims
and politically anthro-supremacist
EarthClimate pathological
technological
anti-ecological
monoculturally theological
unjust to Earth illogical
RedDragon predators.

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Uncategorized

Sacred Falling Stars

Once upon a time a gymnast teacher told a girl,
and all her classmates,
to gather around the trampoline
to spot the student currently bouncing on the trampoline.
They circled around
to volunteer a ring of imperfect
but positively intended
desire to help,
should the witnessed bounce go horribly
accidentally wrong.

This same request for a spot was one familiar to this same girl,
and these same classmates,
when they were bench pressing at the gym,
not because the teacher asked,
but because the fully abled weight lifter asked
if they could work out together,
and spotting each other during the bench press
was simply Standard ReAssurance Operating Procedure
for humane care givers
and receivers.

Anyway,
the unfortunate girl bounced sideways when one of her knees gave out
and she came flying directly toward our spotter
who did her very best to get out of the way,
to go to the other side of the street,
to walk on by,
to pull out her cellphone camera
to get it all delightfully recorded
for the more proper punishing authorities.

The teacher was
(1) concerned for the wounded
splattered girl on the matted
and yet still not inviting
floor, and
(2) furious with the spotter turned distant recorder.
When the classroom administrator asked, “Why?”
the girl said her father told her not touch others
at risk of injury
on their way down
because she might be liable for post-touch injury
and, besides, it’s not like she’s going to be financially rewarded
should she be successful with mitigating harm,
so, there is no “on the other hand” potential reward system
worth mentioning.

It’s the same reason she,
and those witnesses huddled
in a supportive constellation around her,
pulled out her star-gazing
witnessing camera
while George Floyd struggled to “I can’t breathe” communicate
while being deliberately suffocated
to overpower him when he was already down,
and about to blink
wink out.

The liability attorneys
and corporate accident insurance actuaries
get paid bigger bucks to tell front-line administrators
why touch
and help
and prescriptions
and medical procedures should be denied,
because the risk of trying to care for each other,
when it just isn’t enough,
is a last touch liability.
And, on the other hand,
there is no reward for the person,
the agency,
the health care giving and receiving
reassurance win/win anticipating
corporate system
doesn’t economically
cooperatively exist.
Compassion doesn’t pay–
it just regenerates more health care risk
and personal star witness liability.

Care giving,
especially for those who have already sustained transparent
vulnerable losses
in their compromised physical and mental health lives,
is responsible for first and last caring touch of hand and voice
every day,
every custody minute of care,
whether standing behind,
in best-effort solidarity,
or standing nearby,
spotting each win/win cooperative constellation,
reassuring wounded OtherStars.

Care giving opportunities,
health care spotting for each other, pays poorly,
when compared with what star corporate liability insurance attorney
and accountants
use to buy second homes;
sometimes including financial bonuses
for successfully avoiding any realistic possibility of harm,
unnecessary financial loss.
Care giving with active compassion
bears a long patriarchal tradition of being feminist underpaid
to believe cameras up,
but hands and eyes down,
deflect,
stand back,
don’t get involved–
are not politically disempowering
run-away capitalist actions and inactions.

Potential financial risk for helping to prevent further harm,
for doing your win/win best,
for cooperatively investing in all sacred stars,
for health care compassion,
for nurturing at-risk humanity in the face of immediate injury,
wounds,
losses,
suffering,
especially falling risk to marginalized persons of color,
it doesn’t pay well to the left brain dominant
patriarchal corporate
win/lose zero-sum mind–
but really is what life is all about,
at its most invigorating compassionate best chance
of win/win solidarity success
to the right brain feminist
constellation of enlightening hearts.

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