Uncategorized

Fear of Failure

I know you don’t want to hurt
or even disappoint
me

And I know you don’t want to hurt
yourself.

Yet still your shame
and self-blame hurt

Your self-judging
punishing closet frame
suffocates our transparent life
my caring curiosity craves,
and mutual vulnerability
our sharing courage braves.

Addiction to feeling happy
is not free
and connected to sensory satisfaction
nor to ego significant gratification
and certainly not natural and spiritual bilateral wealth
of healthy feeling substantiation,

Which, as you know,
I also recognize as body and mind healthy
choice voices.

Before you even small voice object,
I also recognize you may feel natural
or spiritual choice
has nothing to do with driving off
without “goodbye,
see you safely soon.”

If no physically tolerable choice
of resources to feed serotonin
and water dopamine,
I know, from years of isolated,
neglected experience,
how frightening loss of lonely ego-powered control
can feel.

Speaking not of choice,
but inside swatting interminable Voice
never still
until you self-shame
and blame
hiding hurts
and unfree frames
us both,
unhappy you,
not Here,

And me
loving enough for Us,
not yet Now

Still worrying
what will voiceless nonchoice happen
disempowered There
and unenlightened Then
suddenly Amen

Our silently uninvited End.

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Uncategorized

Mercy’s UnBlind Justice

I suspect mercy may be more resiliently empowering
for optimizing multicultural health
as compared to uniform law
and ordered, cookie-cutter, justice
unresponsive to ubiquitous mitigating circumstances
of unique spaces
and relentlessly changing times.

Mercy recognizes society’s environmental
historical contributions to loss,
to absence of equitable justice
more aware of each individual perpetrator’s responsibility
to society
to family,
to local community

Society’s justice,
without nurturing
restorative mercy,
speaks decontextualized
un-nuanced authority of capital-measured economic systems
including reasonable and fair expectations
of retributive law,
imprisoning neglect
and sometimes violently punishing order.

I wonder if both justice and mercy
improve therapeutic co-arising potency
restoring merciful justice
AND
revising metaphysically just
equitable
reuniting mercy,
co-redemptively resolving
what Earth has positively conjoined
in thoughtful truth
and felt beauty

Breathing,
re-animating,
enspiriting
inspiring nature’s in and out climates
of seasonal development,
undevelopment,
redevelopment,
anti-development,
pro-development,
fractal phases of leftbrain space
mercifully greeting,
halfway meeting,
bilateral rightbrain TaoTime

With merciful multicultural anticipation,
so less competitive room
for monoculturing white justice anxiety.

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