Uncategorized

Liberating Addiction

I need to talk about addictions,
about my addiction issues,
and maybe yours.

Addiction gets a deserved bad rap
but that doesn’t mean we have no more
than mean-spirited possibilities.

Our first addiction,
and, for the lucky ones,
the functional extended multigenerational
multicultural families
and liberating tribes,
also the last,
is love.

Love,
hidden or wide unwalled open
for another human,
another species,
another culture,
another part of Earth,
and other, costly
medicinal substitutes,

Drugs and alcohol,
guns and loud danger,
cars and sex,
coffee
and comfort
and convenience,
beauty
and enlightenment
and luxury,
notoriety
and money
and security,
all poor substitutes
for the nurturing feel
and natural touch,
nutritional smell and taste,
native sight and sounds
of love.

I have two issues
with addiction.
One is my obsessive-compulsive need
for my next, even better, fix
what’s broken.

I find it humbling
to be cravenly overpowered
by physical and mental,
natural and spiritual, want,

By my longing to climax
resiliently
resonantly
universally embraced by Earth’s most incarnate
and eternal
esteem,
communion,
co-passion.

But, physical addiction
can be softened,
eased,
healed more readily
and stadily
if not for my shame
and hide in the closet
self-judgment,

If not for my weak
and sinful shadow nature,
My need to hide
my darkest fruit truths
about not being in control
of my own autonomous will power.

And, so it is,
I hide my greatest weakness,
my greatest internalized enemy,
and thereby feed and water feelings
of guilt,
self-blame shame,

A failure to grow vulnerable love for others
I cannot see in naked love
and truth
and transparent beauty
because I fear to meet judging eyes
and minds,
voices
conserving dismissive choices.

Secret addictions
have all my darkest powers
of steadfast
and cyclical disempowerment.

Acknowledged addictions
I can call out courageously,
then curiously explore
with my housemates,
neighbors,
teachers and parents,
children and listeners,
supportive groups of similar addicts,
medicating absence of love’s
spiritual wealth
without natural walls.

Fears and angers spoken
and named
thereby weaken
as love swells
for positive addiction,

Which, as long as not risked
stays absent,
even from our healing selves
grasping mercy
for becoming merely mortal
and expecting my birthright
of a health wealthy society
good faith community
family
with multicultural addiction values
and unlovely disvalues

Summarized in GoldenRule behaviors
and positively addicted open
vulnerable
transparent
courageous
actively curious gratitude
attitudes of cooperative disclosure.

This power of my unhealthy addictions
lies more heavily in hiding my self
secret depressions
repressions
suppressions
dark impressions
that true and beautiful,
resonant and resilient love
is too far above
my emotional pay scale,
worthy of our co-redemption,

Too big a reach
to try to open up again,
to share my weak addictions
and strong compulsions
to feel and touch
taste and see
where love was lost
while pursuing lesser
hidden things.

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Uncategorized

Healing GrandMother’s Earth

Could you more faithfully believe?

Your enemies do not sacrifice their first born children
right before they eat them

And they do not worship
big
predative Jewish
and colonizing Muslim
ruthlessly bought and sold
international pagan terrifying corporations,

Could we believe?

Healthy cooperative democracy
and green polyculturally robust
new spring communion ages
win/win empowering
enlightening health wealthy climates
are less safe
than unhealthy plutocracy
and red monoculturing violent
old autumnal ages
win/lose BusinessAsUsual stealing
from Earth’s future resilient
resonant residents
of highest and best ecosystemic
consciousness.

Could we restore belief?

In health-optimal wealthy EarthJustice outcomes
robust
resonant
resilient
for at least seven indigenously wise
win/win ecopolitical cooperative regenerations
in global sacred-integral solidarity
AND secular empowerment
actively governing EarthGreenPeace
quietly restorying
win/win health-paradise justice.

Do we actively believe?

In Christ’s patriarchal kingdom
in this democratizing SecondComing moment
within revolving
salvific
inspiring spiraling
redemptive embodied hands

Connected
processive/progressive
egalitarian/interdependent
evolutionary/revolutionary
left/right
bicamerally interdependent wings

Do we believe?

Hellfire and brimstone eternal punishment
of StraightWhite VengefulGod’s privileged preaching

Our fundamental win/lose capitalist
left-brain dominant economic experience
and politically disempowering
devolutionary SundaySchool
and academic schooled teachers
predict a hellish
anti-Rapturous
anti-demonic Earthly natured
secularized future climate
for appropriately punished
pathologically sinful generations

of GodMan’s original
unspiritual
anthrosupremacist idolatry

Remorsefully turning away
from Creation’s Green/Blue Revelations
to follow sickly fallow former-democratic win/win
now mortally win/lose remains
of paradise Eden organic gardens

Where natural
means not spiritual

When human
means not divine

While secular
means not sacred

dualistic
monotheistic
monoculturing unhealthy patriarchal minds
and unsafe impure animated bodies.

Could we multiculturally believe?

We feel healthier
and safer
and even cooperatively win/win
polycultural golden rule wealthier

CoInvesting in ecosystemic engaging
cooperatively communing
speaking and listening
deep matriarchal green learning

How to optimize healthy theological experience
with synergetic truest win/win sufficient wealth
ecologically energetic for all
great and small
grandchildren of regenerative Earth’s Creation
and ReCreation process,

Progressing interfaith volution
through sensory gospel revolution

Power and light
democratic empowerment
and non AnthroPublican enlightenment
equity and interdependence
universally co-redemptive economics
and win/win unitarian co-empathic powertics

Bicamerally nonpartisan polyways
interfaiths
multiculturing hope
metaEarth polyvagal
win/win long-term health
becomes re-connecting
re-ligioning ecosafety.

Could we believe, yet again?

Restoring EarthChild Justice
could SecondCome
messianically
GreenEarth progressive

And not so direly
paranoid for certain
only our enemies
are known by their dark fruits

Sacrificing their first born grandchildren
on the altars of nationalistic redwing wars
right before Earth vengefully eats them,
burns them,
drowns them,
starves them,
enslaves them,
whips them,
lynches them,
criminalizes them,
mercifully suffocates them.

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Uncategorized

Funner to be Kind

Sublime unitarian longings
stewed in outdoor green/blue sunshine
produces universal solitude belonging

Within this green/blue
multiculturally resilient solidarity
I likely feel compassionate warm win/win
communication in/on Earth’s most gracefilled
vocationally sacred shared
interfaithed intent

To find every day
with green
ecofeminist allies,
mother tree nutritional systems designers
and other sacred indigenous grandmothers

Wisdom camouflaged in nonempires of translucent peace
warriors of subconscious anonymity
two-sided waiting for sufficient deep
and wide,
power
and light sounds

Of ultra nonviolet circles
spectrals pristinely nonviolent
unclapping
unwhistling
uncalling
unspeaking
unseeing
unhearing
untasting
unhistoric

Resiliently compassionate unattachment
yet re-membering ego

Individualistic Yang autonomous
competitive
without sufficient Win/Win Yintegrity

Longing for immortal resilience
yet competitively extracting capital
for furthering patriarchally red
monoculturing led
ecofeminist hunts,
predative multigenerational identity strings
of sounded white male straight things
reactively unregenerative

Punishing
revengeful empty of heart
competitive mind Win/Lose monotheistic Path
Devolutionary Lose/Lose devoted
to long-term Death Culture
as a necessary unnatural evil
for short-term capitalized spiritual gains

Desecrating Green/Blue EarthHealth
dividing secular new/from sacred old
deals co-invested in gospel recommitment
redemption

Post-millennial
post-pandemic
post-climate trauma
ego-salvation

Engaged InterFaith EarthVocations
for ecosystemic power and light
cooperative democratic,
not quite so relentlessly RightWing
LeftBrain overpoweringly autocratic,

Indigenous green wisdom
about interfaith power and lights
steer multigenerationally generously wide
of further Business Ain’t Pretty
unnecessary win/lose compromises
between business bottom green ecological lines
and religious upper
outer blue/green recycling
revolving horizons
theological

Sublime unitarian longings
natural power and spiritual light stewed
in sufficient gratitude
for outdoor green/blue solitude
reproducing universal co-invested peace
through everyday grace,
CoPassionate BeLonging.

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Uncategorized

ReCounting Wounding Costs

I know what it costs
to parent a tyrant
24/7
52 weeks/year
and yet avoid judging,
feeling guilty,
self-blaming shame
for all I am not sufficient,
yet.

I remember learning curious distinctions
between genuine remorse
given, when LeftBrain verbally requested,
yet without RightBrain capacity
to feel even the least caring difference
between natural brown girl
and spiritual white light shame

Self blame
for why that dinnerplate
smashed so frighteningly
against my dining wall
as if my fault
my adopted child’s sense
of dad-adapting ownership,
or even complexly confusing
bipolar mixed
temporal-historical management messages
about imaginary aggressive causes
predicting unprecedented economic
and political family “out of the blue behavior,”
random effects,
effectively nurturing attention,
non-neglect,
more brown person privileged

Lack of win/win communication
not always transparently verbalize-disabled
and vulnerably, verbally examined
much less non-violently communionated.

Not until I 24/7 learned
such great sociopathic lose/lose
unfortunate chronic mental health events
are non-violently but impatiently stressed,
restrained perhaps
with short-term shunning
and close the safe-space door
temporarily dissociating–
no win/win co-adoptions
of dad-adapting co-empathic nonverbal behavior
accessible right leftbrain autonomously here
and rightbrain interdependent win/win now

Sending myself to my own private room
to re-imagine win/win multicultural remediations,
and positive psychology
ecology
neurological system restoring dreams
of Paradise Not
NonZero Souled Green
new deal rapturously global Peace
climaxing during my own aging green health inhaled
and re-inhaled
exhaling peronal EarthWealth
for feeding more resilient green summer leaves

Restoring
as Recommitting solidarity
as rebreathing solitude
reweaving

Recreating
redeeming
regenerating
re-ligioning
re-connecting
re-storing
re-integrating EarthGreenPeace
organically healthy medication
meditations
win/win Earth compassion practices
of good faith health system restorations

A little lighter thought
and more empowering feeling
active movement practicing
and even miming felt co-empathic needs
eco-politically green cooperative polypathic
EarthTribe Justice,
multiculturally polyphonic
non-verbal Language
not not double-positive co-binary

By pretending I am sociopathic her
10-year-old gay white male EarthMother
doing the best s/he patriarchally privileged can
campily dipolar Both/And re-enacting
what it might feel like
for the not so gayly old white mashed
patriarchally provisioned potatoes
to hit the battered ungrateful wall
clearly devoid of proper heterosexual
aggressively dominant appreciation
for warm buttery white unskinned

Smash! against the senseless floor,
wounded
mashed
bashed
smashed in a fetal curled up defensive mess,
writhing
and theatrically moaning,
one eye on the microphonic
monopolistic Voice of NonChoice
and the other on the bicameral rediscernment

Until she smiles.

Demands I rise again,
right here,
left together co-present now
ZeroSum terrified morally unsafe
reverse transitioned
so she can hug my steady white grand dad neck,
kiss my hope in “side with me, too”
and smarm my win/win resiliently hopeful forehead,
leaving her actively curious mark
on her brown-skin unmasked safe
and healthy communal territory,

Organic ego-gardening green deeding dad,
cooperative as win/win healthy
wealthy democratic Paradise

Which comes out leftbrain verbally,
“Can I maul your head?”
also might mean,
post critical non-cooperative climate event,
“Could we together head
toward the mall,
and co-invest in accessories?
Maybe makeup, soon? not soon enough?
which could only be rightHere/leftNow

A hair salon?
Something actually important
to a real brown-skinned bipolar egofeminist first person
sometimes critically living
in a reversed effects before narcissistic causes
world win/lose
zero-sum bottoms up
redhot
angry trapped wounded child view.

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Uncategorized

Another Cock and Bull Story

The highest and best purpose
of cocks and bulls
is to ejaculate
a strong natural and spiritual warm
wet vision flow
transparently cuming
into a spiritual and natural warm
wet throbbing receptor
vulnerably naked milking
sucking and releasing
waves of wanton,
yet sacredly inviting, place,
home,

Some divinely receptive
receiving
regenerating
reconnecting
democratically reconstituting
win/win space,

Just as a tree’s sappy purpose
is to produce a nut
by autumn,
preferably,
naturally and spiritually
without unhealthy climate performance pressures,

Just as an organically leafed stem’s secular purpose,
and sacred meaning,
is to produce at least one flower,

Just as organic empowerment’s
diurnal and nocturnal
monthly and annual
and life/death-recycling purpose
is to produce well-seasoned
healthy meaning
of wealthy enlightenment,

Peace just restoring
as secular ecological co-governance
communicates meaningful purpose
to reproduce healthy
multicultural
sacred theologically regenerative experience,
memory
images
imagination
complex thought/felt
secular/sacred reweavings.

Just as left-brain’s ethological
deepest and wisest
healthiest and wealthiest purpose
is to reproduce right-brain’s flowing intuitive
transparently vulnerable reflections

Erupting into herstorical
multiculturing
matriarchal DNA reMEMEs
originating univeral Yang
unitarian Yintegral
climaxing regenerative experience
re-memory
re-imagination
re-storation
re-demption
re-weaving
re-creolizing
re-volutioning
re-substantiating
re-incarnating
re-living anthro/eco-organic
Paradise/Pleasure win/win systems,

Natural
and spiritual
cocks and bulls
inside ecofeminists
they ejaculatively serve,
empower,
co-enliven
co-invest
co-enlighten

With highest and best multiculturing purpose
and sacred health/wealth
win/win
polycultural
polypathic
polyphonic
polyvagal
polypassioned meanings
deeply and widely regenerative.

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Uncategorized

Seduction’s Loss

I feel like I lost you yesterday.

Perhaps I overstepped
Some as-yet unestablished boundary
between Trust
and MisTrust

Between winning cooperation
and losing fear and anger
competing trepidations,

Like we tripped
over a fuzzy
dis-establishing line,
Unarticulated landmine
I am still not explicitly aware of
where, exactly,
it lies

We lie together
and yet apart

InBetween winning Trust
cooperatively co-invested
in not not losing active DisTrust
competitively co-divesting
re-individuating private
apartheid EgoSystems

Both encultured,
but separately developed,
by human natured
pathologically privileged
standing apart
from healthy
gospel winning wealthy
ecosystemically restoring
our bilateral peace
within polypathic EarthJustice,

CoPassionate winners of cooperative Peace
with intent to remain regenerately co-invested,
healthy days and safe nighttime dreamers,
happy.

My active mistrust
in-between noticing growing
feeling fear of having lost you
and an even narrower way
toward winning nondualistic co-acclimation,
inviting cooperative
democratically healthy dialogue
devoid of degenerative fear of losing
what was never mine to autonomously own
and defend
with autocratically unhealthy debate
against tomorrow’s even greater wounds.

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ComPassion Fatiguing Questions

Why do ecologists
and theologists
and neurologists
see and hear,
touch and feel,
smell and taste
ReGenerating Trust
as Positive Communication?

And,
Why do multiculturists
disvalue active DisTrust
as DeGenerative
Negative Apartheid DisCommunication?

And,
Why are all these
polypathically together
Cooperative + more win/win empowering
as contrasted with Competitive (-) MisTrust
Mis-UnCentered lack of Integral Communion’s
full whole non-zero-sum systemic
non-violent
non-apartheid
non-commodified
non-leftbrain dominant potential?

As win/lose networks
of health/pathology co-arising ambivalence
leading to suboptimizing fatigue and dissonance
in-between Earth global win/lose pandemics
and EarthJustice win/win compassion

Noticing systemic wounds
and loss
and suffering
migrating toward LoseLose
nihilistic fatigue
denying ego-eco-systemic
left-hemisphere nonegalitarian
and right-hemisphere anti-synergetic,
monoculturally leftbrain privileged,
anthropocentrically pathological feelings

Of fear and anger
co-arise universal narcissistic
defiant
red waves of overpowering Hate

Lose/Lose Ego/Eco-Climax Events
within anthropocentric DeathCulture

Violent UnCommunicating
straight white patriarchal privileged
left-hemisphere dominant
ego-unraveling
critical neurological,
ecological,
theological,
economic,
political events,

NonEgalitarian,
AntiDemocratic empowerment/enlightenment,
segregated absence
of bicamerally healthy,
not bilateral apartheid fatigue

Of ego/eco-recentering
systemic intelligent design,
mediation,
communication,
facilitation,
commitment to Win/Win re-education

About thinking/feeling
co-passionate
polypathically resilient
communication ego-theo-neurosystems,

Triangulating
X
Z
Y Spiral Dynamic
organically regenerating
Earth Restoring Justice,
bicamerally healthy
secularized-commodified ego-natured
sacred souls of timeless
regenerating health/wealth consciousness.

Note:

See also “Spiral Dynamics: mastering values, leadership, and change” by Don Edward Beck and Christopher C. Cowan, kinda like ghost transliterators for the bicameral systemic healthy redevelopment thinking of Clare Graves, restructuring Earth-Contextual Intelligence as spiral ing dynamic fractal/octave/bilateral/trilateral polymetric multiculturally revolutionary DNA-iconic structure for cooperative planning, compassionate communication, designing polyculturally healthy EarthRegenerative outcomes. 

There is also a helpful synopsis in wikipedia.com, if you search “Spiral Dynamics.” My own work with this creolizes (attempts to co-acclimate, in a Gregory Bateson cooperative define/refine kind of way) Spiral Dynamics with Integral Permaculture Design principles of compassionate EarthCentric planning for healthy redevelopment of radically democratic, non-anthropocentric cooperatively-invested, resonant and resilient design.  Which, indeed, does sound very much like either a Clare Graves sentence, and/or a Bucky Fuller paragraph page-long sentence.  Which is probably why I tend to write prose in poetically licensed horizontally blocked disguise, in some form of left/right internal communicating, guiding guise.

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Healthy Bicameral Faith

What could be good
without growing healthy?

What is your faith community’s redemptive
and healing
empowering
and enlightening theology
and/or ecologically regenerative
communion
reunion
religion
reconnection
reweaving
restoring Earth’s healthy faith justice,
globally recommunicating peace,
greenest resilient compassion?

Whether your healthy good faith community
communication
communion-invested experience
is in a cathedral
or a town hall
or belief in a retributive court system
or daily loyalty to a military hierarchy
or a corporate industrial team
for extracting
and exploiting
Earth’s natural and sacred resources,

Invested by past regenerators
in healthy good faith ecosystems
and promised trust to future regenerations
of wealthy full-faith
humanely compassionate egos, recentering
bicameral
bilateral
binomially listening questions
for healthiest faith systems.

What is Earth’s healthy faith
empowering
and enlightening
intention?

From whence emerges
historically multi-generational
multicultural endowments
for regenerating cooperatively intelligent
and actively compassionate residents,
worshippers,
adorers,
global green patriots,
good healthy faithed citizens,
sacred communicants?

What is Earth’s experiential history
of human healthy faith?

From what healthy hearts
emerge strong theological experience
and eco-historical
multicultural
multigenerational
practical
mystical,
creative liberating processes
systemically natural/spiritual
bicameral,
bilateral,
binomial,
bisensual
ecological healthy faith
in compassionately
impassioned communication?

And where you live
and breathe
and healthy faith,

What was your favorite
good faith community’s empowering
enlightening mission:

When first locally established?

When originally emerging
as a social-cultural
economic-political
new faith practice,
movement
for empowering
and enlightening future communal
cooperatively co-invested generations?

And before patriarchal
capital-invested
left-brain dominant predation,
monoculturing
oppressive colonization,
How might pre-historic
nature/spirit nondualistic
locally enlightened minds
and empowered hearts
and compassioned root systemic
humane/divine EarthBodies
compare resilient strength
and resonant flow
with today’s local
and/or global
faith community theological experience
and ecological practice?

How will future empowering health care
and enlightening multicultural faith
in robust sensory wealth
become divine EarthJustice restorative
and/or ecologically-humanely
bilaterally
bicamerally
binomially
bisensory co-empathically
nurtured light,
natured power,
spirited compassion energy?

What could become multiculturally good faith
while growing wealthiest questions
concerning local
and celebrating global
compassionate health?

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My Economic Life, and Death

My life thoughts darkly whisper
of mortality,
hidden,
like shame,

As my death lightly wanders
through eternity,
infinite,
like timelessness.

Economic wealth roots from light,
enlightenment
as
Political health branches through power,
empowerment.

Space captures deducted form
as
Time frees inductive function

As punishing absence of peace exhales
bad monotheistic climates
so restoring justice can refill
creolizing multicultures,
co-passionate dipolar co-arisings
like life
and death
and bicameral paradox
bilateral fractal box
in-between

Space invites unconfined energy,
co-gravitating as
Time remembers unSourced energy,
democratically uniting co-passions
throughout past
and future regenerations.

Left hemisphere ergodically longs
to restore immortal justice
as
Right hemisphere ionically belongs
to wondrously interdependent
contextual
multicultural
transubstantiating
synergetic
holonic
holy
sacred peace
Kingdoms of God
QueenSeas of EarthMother Wombs,
Fathers
and HolonicWinds/HolyWaves.

Yang invests in ecosystemic light
as
Yin divests of egocentric
economic
capitalistic
win/lose anthro-centric
anti-ecological
degenerative
patriarchally predative
LeftBrain monoculturally dominating
power.

Economically cooperative experiences
darkly whisper of mortality,
hidden,
like egotistic shame,

UnCompetitive fear of death lustily wanders
through enculturing eternity,
infinite history,
like angry timelessness.

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Liberation’s Pride

I wonder if fully liberated consciousness
can only focus on integrity
becoming;

If partial consciousness
and unconsciousness of left with right awareness
is the default of dis-integrity,
of wandering through detachment
of unwanted apartheid
and mutual apathy
about integrity’s personal
national
global governing pride,
organic capacity to know
and appreciate
with active listening
and non-violently speaking
compassion.

In “Why Liberalism Failed”
Patrick Deneen
wonders aloud
if Business As Win/Lose Usual
is “the dying gasp
of an old white working class
and the lashing out
of debt-burdened youth”
disenfranchised from classic Enlightenment
and Reformation hope
in a global
multicultural climate
of integral healthy-wealth.

Deneen worries,
as does post-millennial emerging consciousness,
We are 20-20 witnesses
of climatic pre-revolutionary ecosystems,
and so, thereby,
victims of individual ego-systemic failure
due to lack of active consciousness,
active hope for liberating organic integrity.

Complex Reformation/Enlightenment,
EitherOr/BothAnd integrity
co-arising democracy’s win/win cooperative trust,
now at risk of becoming
a failed natural experiment
in multiculturing organically proud curiosity,
integral courage
to listen with compassionate attachment
before speaking foolishly
of competitive
detached
mendacious mechanisms.

Human experience is not rooted
in win/lose evolutionary machine models
of robotic mutual autonomy, detached,
Although these attributes
lie within the organic planting and harvesting skill set
of left-brain’s active integrity,
listening for how best to seed
and feast on co-empathic health awareness.

This morning
my Fetal Alcohol inspired
dis-integrity daughter
pulled out her tight white T-shirt,
a gift from her brother’s African-American nurse,
liberated,
proud.

In big black letters,
except for the hot pink cursive “ignoring”
her black on white shirt announces,
defiantly,
“I’D LISTEN TO YOU
BUT ignoring YOU
IS SO MUCH EASIER.”

Polarized self v other,
ego v eco,
left v right,
northern white patriarchal privilege
v southern ecofeminist integrity
of all courageous curiosities
except racist and sexist intolerance,
disintegrity,
does involve and invest heavily in “ignoring”

But, resulting detached and mechanistic models
of win/lose global lack of positive
liberating
progressive
organic experience,
are not easier to consciously perceive,
they’re just less extended family pride awareness,
too disassociated identity
reified from integral roots
of EarthMother’s multicultural compassion.

Integrity as revered and worshiped,
sung and danced
by both health Reformers
and would be wealth EnLighteners,

Left activists
and Right bicamerally active listeners
to proud liberated integral memories
and future climates of win/win images
mapping organically interdependent experience,
political and economic
Yang thought and Yin felt
co-passioning integrity.

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