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Listening for Sustainability

My daughter,
with Fetal Alcohol crippling emotional intelligence damage
and Cerebral Palsy perpetual TerribleTwo
“is too many,
because Earth is all about ego-defiant me”
has taught herself
to attach her lips,
and sometimes her wet licking tongue
when she is feeling particularly needy
and/or playful
or maybe just hungry,
to my male dominant capitalist-head
when she needs to feel noticed
attached
connected
invested in
better.

This Saturday morning
she commits the unpardonable sin
of waking up before seven a.m.
Eleven is closer to her business as usual.

After bath and costuming,
both accomplished with as little support from me,
autonomously distracted, as possible,
she goes to our kitchen
to watch her favorite animated song and dance loops
on It’s All About You
Tube.

I am hanging out with my son,
also with cerebral palsy,
but unable to walk without balancing assistance
and unable to talk in either direction,
talk back or proclaim forth,
which is more his sister’s favorite skill set.

After a few minutes
of only slightly compromised peace
this sunny summer Saturday morning,
the daughter comes in
to demand her support staff (me)
prepare her royal breakfast (immediately).

I invite her to self-serve.

She says No!
repeatedly
while I remind her
she is capable of going to the freezer,
extracting one microwave pancake and sausage
on a stick,
wrapping it in one square of paper towel,
opening the microwave door,
placing it on the rotating glass plate inside,
closing the door,
pushing 1, 0, 0,
waiting for the ding,
and removing her breakfast by holding the stick,
waiting for it to cool,
removing the paper towel,
and devouring the pancake,
then the sausage,
as usual.

She responds
I want you to do it.

I respond
I want you to do it.

“No, Help me!”

“I am helping you!”

“No!
You do it; not me!”

“Why?”

“Because I”m watching my tablet.”

“And I’m trying to meditate
and write!”

“No! Help me!”

So, I ask for a time out.
We have been at this same impasse countless times.
It’s a ritual,
obsessive and compulsively lose/lose.
We are both not listening
while we are also not meditating
and watching
and writing healthier song and dance stories.

What’s happening here?
You know you can make your own breakfast.
Is this about not wanting to be alone?
Do you want me to show you
how crazy I am about you?

“Can I have a kiss?”

And then we do the “my lips on your head”
And “my head on your lips” ritual.
I give her a back and shoulder massage
while she has her therapeutic attachment breakfast.

My daughter smiles,
leaves the room without further demands,
goes back to the freezer,
pulls out a Blanketed Pig
on a stick…

I go back to writing
about resilience
and remediating potential lose/lose Earth climates
and emotionally cooperative reparations.

My son goes back to sleep,
having had a good belly laugh
at our curiously outspoken craziness,
reminding me
Curiosity is a more effective left-hemisphere tool
than working hard to feel right-hemisphere patience
in the face of apparent weapons
wielded by alien win/lose forces
in an otherwise win/win potentiated
interactive ego/eco-system.

He sits up,
groaning
repeatedly,
until I re-emerge
aware
He needs a diaper change,
on this peaceful sunny summer Saturday morning
riding still-revolving climates of Earth
re-creating green-blue-red
ultra-nonviolent win/win living systems
of actively communicating co-enlightenment.

Maybe we’ll have lunch on the backyard deck
under our barn red umbrella
as the Thames River continues to flow downstream
from northern stars
toward southern sun sustaining states.

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Uncategorized

BiPolar Dissonance

When oppositional cognitive dissonance deflects focus,

it tends to go back to when I deflected focus from her.

She sends me passive-aggressive messages,

bread crumbs leading back in time

to where she began to feel alone,

marginalized,

siloed,

anxious.

 

If you don’t want a sopping wet tile bathroom floor

because I have thrown all my naked Barbie and Ken parts,

especially their water-filled hollow insides,

and the five saturated pools of clean washcloths

I took out of that drawer just like you said not to,

and the nice sudsy soft bar of soap,

then you might want to reconsider leaving the bathroom

during my bath.

You might want to think of telling a story

or imagining with my behavioral lectures

I so mercilessly inflict

on the shattered heads of my daughters,

oops,

I mean dolls.

 

Perhaps oppositional cognitive dissonance

is what Republicans have about Democrats.

 

If you folks would be so kind as to return to cooperative civic and civil discussion,

about our intrinsic dignity,

immaculate integrity as a permacultured orthodox tradition,

intrinsic to optimize sustainable and resilient health

for All Americans,

including those who happen to have become embarrassed

by their wealth of health and extravagant disregard

for uncommodified values,

like the synergy of all natural systems,

of religious cultures

delivering a united and interdependent positive teleology

that we all created this rapacious, extractive mess together.

 

So, please stop leaving the bathroom

every time we complain about your shitty attitudes

about wealthy compost and sustainable,

resilient,

optimized economic growth.

Then complain when we go right on doing

what we intended to do

while we were throwing water

on your slippery-floor economics

of radical,

reverse-hierarchical interdependence and mutual subsidiarity.

 

And,

our Democratic family value parents

hear their oppositionally disordered Republicans

as if they were of some dysfunctionally alien species

devoid of deductive rational accessibility,

of even one of four corners of truth,

and  without capacity to empathize with their well-mentored praxis,

of continually forgetting you could not climb a higher priority

right now

than telling your oppositional daughter Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax, 

interpreting each voice as your own Lorax,

wondering why you continue competing

to reach a Win-Win Cooperative Game,

and political

and economic

and ecological

and cultural finish line,

alone in your Permaculture Designed polycultural Loraxed paradise.

When you think about it,

you can see that your competitive political

and economic assumptions are not ecologically,

or even permaculturally,

sound, rational, integrated,

much less synergetic or holonically comprehensive.

You can’t win a P=NP,

4-fractal/spiral (0)-sum

cooperative economic logistical plan

until everyone else has the freedom

and integrity

and ecotherapeutic orthopraxis comprehension,

intention,

to win-win with you, coincidentally.

 

With this perhaps un-Christian,

and vaguely irreligious perspective

that Democratic political culture

is closer to (0) sum Core Value Balanced Heaven

rationality than appears to be the case

for our benighted Republican

and wealthy fat-cat residents of Earth,

we have turned rather too far

our spinning cultural revolution pendulum

away from the racist sin of polycultural difference,

poverty and the commodification of human lives,

and the commodification of other species,

and the commodification of Earth’s fire, water,

soil and sky,

Her capacity to regenerate fertile seeds,

turning away from sin as insanity,

disability,

to now prophecy the sins of wealth,

and power,

and competing, dissonant tipping points

of monocutural,

monochromatic,

monopolistic competing economic uncertainty

and ecological dysfunction for all nations,

including its more humane DNA-informed

bicameral information processor branch of our EcoTribe,

RNA-inscribed,

transliterate,

multisystemic and polycultural Climax Community,

diastatically

interdependently

coincidentally straining and stressing to comprehend

Polynomial SpaceTime = Not-Polynomial Open Systemic Binomial Prime Relationship Temporal “Now”

as Yang-convex/positive = Yin-concave/negative,

as +1.00% QBit = +/-(0)% Soul Core-emergent universal Vertex/Dark Recessional Vortex (Perelman, 1993)

 

So, yes, maybe somewhat closer,

but closer doesn’t count

when playing Win-Win economic logos.

Horseshoes don’t fit elephants.

 

 

 

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Uncategorized

The President’s EcoChaplain

Sr. Kathleen Brennan, of the Order of Positive Intentions, is the 11th Interreligious EcoMinister Chaplain to the U.S. Congress, where she has been unusually…useful, and apparently ubiquitous. President Fuller is suffering from 2nd-term despondence-syndrome. His Cabinet seems to be leaking, the House is total chaos, and, while the Senate is somewhat more bicamerally balanced, good intentions far outweigh sustainable outcomes. Fuller feels ironically emptier of hope, much less faith that this mess will reweave into a viable fabric within his life time, much less his remaining two years.

When Ms. Fuller, his wife, found him flirting with suicidal ideation, she rather firmly invited onto his schedule a pastoral visit with the Congressional EcoMinister. Although not exactly sure that this appointment would add up to a regenerative future, his not-so-little intuitive voice resonated hopefully with this suggestion because of Sr. Brennan’s reputation as somehow unusually…useful.

President: Sr. Brennan, good of you to stop by. Hoping you might be able to help.

Chaplain: In what way, Mr. President?

P: Well, certainly not that way. Just “Bucky” please. “Mr. President” feels much too heavy right now, like somebody else I never really wanted to be.

C: So presidential Bucky isn’t unfolding as you had hoped, or intended, somehow.

P: I see what you did there, that reference to your Order’s vocational formation. What does that mean, anyway, I don’t recall meeting anyone else from the Positive Intentions Order. Ironic, Washington is a veritable compost pile of good intentions that don’t seem to come together anywhere close to whatever it is you are doing with this Positive Intention ecotherapy, or whatever you call it.

C: You covered quite a lot of ground there, Bucky. Maybe it would be helpful to talk about this disparity between your good intentions and how you define Positive Intent.

P: Well, maybe that’s part of my problem, while I am painfully aware that the road toward good intentions has killed far more people than malignant intent, I can’t work out why, exactly.

C: I doubt you know anyone with malignant intent.

P: What would you call suicidal ideation?

C: I would call that an oxymoron, If you have a positive intent toward self-destruction, you cannot actually incarnate that potentiality without sacrificing the positive polarity of your intended trajectory toward a sustainably peaceful life.

P: My life has been to try to be useful, where most needed, as inclusively as possible. But, it is the inclusivity itself that seems so utterly impossible from this position in Universal Intelligence.

C: Which is…?

P: As I am sure you know very well, the Regenerative System Development Platform has advocated for a cooperative (0)-sum post-millennial Trimtab transition for optimizing global Continuous Quality Improvement.

C: Quite a circular mouthful. So, your positive-teleological position revolves around this (0)-PrimeMutual value system. Is that how you define our “good intentions?”

P: Probably, although I would certainly use a lot more words, and numbers, and generate many polysyllabic hybrids about natural-metric systems development.

C: That does seem to be where you lose your constituency, all the irrational words, numbers, and assumption of malignant intent within the belief systems of those who oppose you, those malingering “Nay!”-sayers.

How do you reconcile your faith that we are all in this mess together with this fear of some proactive, organized, Order of Malignant Intent? While I doubt you have met anyone wearing society’s imprimatur of “Hopeless Sociopath,” I have spent some time in your prisons. A bicameral system with addictive sociopathology issues explores homicide as vicarious suicide. It feels like naked-wild risk, with the prophylactic of clothed hiddenness.

My (0)-sum win-win faith, and positive teleological intent, are not compatible with the view that your constituency would elect representatives who are addicted sociopathologists.  In other words, I wonder if you are confusing Positive Intent toward a regenerative, and sociotherapeutic, economy with Negative Intent toward globally inclusive suicide, as a species, and personally, within yourself.

P:  While I would be vastly relieved to learn that I am confused about the Other-Side’s malignant intent, I just can’t get my data-crunchers to come up with that optimized sustainable outcome trajectory. I mean, for example, if the rich and powerful define Winning the Economy Game as continuing to grow their wealth deposits, then all our synthesized projections for the future show exploding global population of increasingly marginal poverty, to say nothing of what it is doing to the dimming prospects of any (0)-carbon air-bound/soil-bound balanced ecosystem surviving anywhere on Earth.

C: So, your global information system is telling you that we cannot play a Win-Win Sustainable Ecology Game using Win-Lose socio-economic strategies.

Try this metaphor. Imagine that your constituency is a population of lotus flowers, able to physically see each other only above the surface of our Earth-pond. Your Prime (0)-sum cooperative economic platform is the pond’s surface. But, when you plunge down, under the surface, you can see that our species’ (0)-sum ecological center goes deeper down to where we share an emergent root system reaching down, with diminishing, yet still positively-regenerative intentional structure, into Earth’s rich polycultured compost. This cooperative permaculture feeds our root system, so nutrients flowing up have a regenerative infrastructural trajectory for all the individual lotus flowers, and their seed-bearing future generations.

On the other hand, one of the lotus flowers decides that he and his neighbors are more important than some other weedy-kinda-flowers on the other side of the pond, so they start sucking up all the nutrients, watching their distant RNA-cousins wilt and suffer, under the mistaken belief that they are protecting their childrens’ future while they are actually strangling their entire economic and ecological root-systemic capacity. The apparent suicidal ideation of those wilting flower-cultures on the other side of Earth’s pond are a lesson to all of us: Don’t forget that we are all (0)-sum centered where information fully reflects our most inclusive root system. This deeper ecologically balanced plateau emerges endosymbiotic Win-Win cooperative economies for nutrient flow up toward the next generation of lotus flowers.

Your suicidal ideation is your poli-cultural teacher, reminding you that we are all in this together, regardless of all the push-back necessary to bring global peace to the surface of Earth’s pond. You have no more right to choose suicide, Bucky, than a bipolar sociopath has to choose homicide. Choose to regenerate inclusive, cooperative polycultures; avoid malignant competitive monocultural silos of us-v-them, and me-v-we boundaries.

P: Is that your spiritual advice?

C: That’s my eco-equity Continuous Quality Improvement permacultured advice, straight out of the Order of Positive Intent’s prayer book, for greatest effect with least dissonance. We used to call it the Golden Rule, but now we are learning to apply it somewhat more broadly, to how we treat all species, all information, all communication, moments, days, lives, learning, and generations, past, present, and future, as EcoSelf (0) = Grace of Thermodynamic Balance [+ = (-)(-), as Yang = Reverse-Yin diametric restraint, as P = NP]—not so much Self-Centric, and refusing to play nice.

P: I think I regenerate, theoretically, what you did there—and I’m feeling positive, even hopeful, about this analogical way of comprehending QBit spacetime, and bicameral in/ex-formating systems development, and comprehensive coincidentalism, and universalism, and integral intelligence, and sociotherapy, and bicameral psychotherapy, and bioethics, and….

Assuming this might go on for a few hours, Sr. Brennan, EcoMinistry Chaplain, excused herself; without any apparent interruption of Bucky’s positively regenerative, and inclusively analogical, string theory, traveling its regenerative pilgrimage toward self-perpetuating organic compost.

 

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