Opening Closed Doors

is when my last door closes,
and how,
and why.

He said
before he died.
Until then,
his life had been gratitude for open
and closed doors,
windows of opportunity opening
as windows of risk closed.

I wonder if doors open to further life regeneration,
PositivEnergy Democracy,
further restorations of open door EarthSoul Justice.

Yin’s EarthTribe peace
through polypathic golden rules
cooperative health and compassion
invite me back in

Doors close
for more BusinessAsUsual
Yang-dominant competitions

Too Busyness with WinLose suboptimal
not quite really pro-full-life vocational optimization.
Which reminds me
how grateful I am
for some Other EarthFirst Door
still surely open
inviting love
positive karma without negative waste streams

Left with Right enculturing synergy,
Or I would already be LeftEgo BrainDead.

God always answers best,
most gracefully,
when we invite with authentic curiosity
and respect Gaia’s answer
Doors both Opening and Closing
with theo-eco-logical therapeutic equity
WuWei WinWin pro-life

And not WinLeft deductions
over Lose SacredRight inductions.


Storms in all seasons
of Closing Doors
like NegativEnergy emotions
have dramatic beauty
more divinely inspiring
while watching
from inside Closed Womb insulators,

A matriotically safe and warm
but not too warm,
WinWin cooperative Original Habitat

Sleeping inside someone
who also enjoys discussing
and laughing about
our stormy closed doors
and curious WinWin opening doors,
and windows
becoming part of this just-right
creolizing climate storm
of Wild Us.

My still open doors
and windows for gratefully noticing
PositivEnergy CoOperatives
are my opportunities
to watch beautiful Heavenly Father storms
of alarming retribution
as also Gaia’s WinWin graceful restoration.

This Open Door
my grateful living
loving vocation,
integrity’s ultimate invocation.

is when my last door closes
halfway Yang full throttle
secularizing patriarchal LeftBrain
RightBrain sacred matriarchal resonance,
and wealthy how
and healthy why.


Cascading Windows

The first of Earth’s life support systems
to go
was crude oil
Then natural-spiritual gas
Then easily accessible commercial-grade
and scale

Then wood
for crude construction.

Then electric grid energy
then Western
then Eastern colonizing infrastructures
pathologically cascaded
into local-cooperative democracy scale.

While internally cooperative infrastructures
of active love
beauty and grace of
and gratitude for
PositivEnergy Democracy
expanded exponentially,
driven by both Positive cooperative investments
and Negative loss divestments
of WinNow to LoseLater
long-term self disempowering deficit,
rather than WinWin co-redeeming,

Then clean drinking water
pathologically cascaded
away from where it was needed
and toward where seaside communities
entire coast lines
were redrawn,
and boundary issues
of dry nations
and barren refugee states
faded away
from multi-mediated view.

While internally WinWin
cooperative infrastructures
swept revolutionarily in,
like a grateful sacred tsunami,
economic and political cascade,
social and psychological and historical reweaving,
theological and ecological co-regenerative,
reaching toward livable climate needs
as without

For health
as abundant multicultural EarthWealth

With Permaculture Design
ego-ecotherapeutic ZeroZone centering practices,
Psychological PositiveENergy ReStorations,
GoldenRule Therapeutic Justice,
NonViolent, local through global, Peace

WinLose LeftBrain Either/Or
Nature/Spirit dualistic fundamentalism
cascading toward WinWin Both/And eco/theological gratitude,
Positive LeftRight ProLife GreenEnergy STEAM Systems,
gratitude for trust and beauty attitudes.

BadNews closed doors chosen first
are GoodNews open doors
cooperatively chosen WinWin last
yet healthy best.


Integrity Fields of LoveThoughts

There is an irrepressible field of thought
We learn better resiliently together
than competitively apart.

We feel better
in eco/ego-therapeutic teams
more than as isolated egocentric wanderers
more eccentric
than supportive environments
of ego/eco-centric
WinWin players.

EcoCentric thoughts
informing EgoHealthy beliefs,
and resonant practice

Ego-disciplines of WinWin TeamPlay
are nutritional regimes,
health frames,
wealthy multicultural dialectals

For ecological Left-YangStrength
and theo-sensory Right-YinFlow equivalence

Conversing within WiseElder freedoms
to playwork and roleplay
what SolarGod might say
about baking out inhumane pathologies
with His retributive
and unkindly blind
patriarchal justice.

While EarthSoul Gaia RightYin
holds matriotically up
her restorative eco/ego-justice Northern fractal face.

DNA staring wave-linear
ultra-violetly back
into WiseElder RNA octaves
of harmonic deep learning revolutionary health,
secularly resilient
and sacredly resonant,
and together curiously integrative sanity
yet something of a creolic stew.

Steaming streaming with integrity nutritional images
through this post-millennial healthy field of time,
of thought

We deep relearn
our Left-Right EarthSoul
Yang/Yin ecology best
as WiseElders
cooperatively North-Teamed
self with resonantly plotting others,
eco-therapeutic discovers
of healthier ZeroZone landscapes
inside YinGaia’s EarthSoul of Integrity,

With outside YangGod SolarSpirit
of Universal PositivEnergy Democracy
ZeroZone Earth WinWin
Original Nutritional Intent.

Gaia EarthRights
with LeftYang reiterating and evaluating
competing ZeroSum waste streams
and group string theories
of bilaterally explicitYang
implicitYin sacred deep listening Time.

There remains a resiliently resonant field
of Left with Right dipolar thought
We learn
economically and politically and psychologically better
cooperatively together
than too Yang-competitively apart.


CareGiving Stories Continued

Wounded Sacred Dementia

My last foster care-provider
and -receiver story
is also a sad story
of my last special needs adoption
of bipolar born,
and oppositionally reared,

My BiPolar Wounded Child
turned an auspicious five
on the day I first saw her,
and promptly rejected her,
not in dipolar person,
but in a picture of Little Brown Girl
with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
surrounded by huge multicolored balloons
like a bubble bath
gone delightfully wrong
for a demented princess,

And so has life proved to be
living in her often queenly raging
perpetual-childhood Reign,
not so wonderfully benign,
now mid-adolescent,
at least hormonally.

like Fetal Alcohol,
was on my list of
“Will not consider even meeting,
much less living and dying with.”

The local Department of Children and Families folks
knew I had a too-empty bedroom
and restorative therapeutic experience
and special needs caregiving training
they had provided,
patience I had practiced
rewoven cooperatively.

I was certified for FirstAid, but not Last,
and administering medications
and receiving ecotherapies
and what to do when a child is choking
and not yet choking
and mouth-to-mouth heart palpitation,
and avoiding ear-to-ear mind pulpitization.
Although, truthfully, I believe my Permaculture Design certification
was more helpful
for restorative WinWin therapy consultations
with wounded kids,
and their not-well-trained adults.

SocialWorker specialists
invited me to consider four kids
waiting for a less toxic residence.

One was Dementia.

Another older girl,
also AfricanAmerican,
wanted to wait for a home
without any male presence
in a threatening house,
due to past unthinkably unfortunate events,
furthering her internal climate
of ZeroSoul Zone pathologies.

A one year old white boy
would never walk.
I couldn’t see how I sprint
through a successful WinWin family outing
with two wheelchairs to push around.
It was already discouraging enough
with one
to often choose exploring voices outside,
now rather staying more too sedately home muted,
ZeroZone diluted,

The fourth was an older hispanic boy
who looked WinWin perfect
but then was suddenly hospitalized,
for reasons never ominously or even reassuringly explained,
and it looked likely he might never leave alive;

This was one of those moments
to pause
and wonder about therapeutic timing
and nutritious choices
creating WinWin nurturing branches
or not, more WinLose,
in others’ BusinessAsUsual lives,
not just my own ZeroZen SoulZone.

Dementia’s Social Worker
was WinLose pre-disposed and concomitantly desperate
to close her unfortunately least marketable case.
At five,
this BiPolar Dementia already had two priors.

Prior attempts at WinWin adoption
that ended LoseLose,
at best,
a toxic six weeks later.

She had bounced
from one unsuccessful
They Lose and I Lose foster home
to the next
and no one of them
trained for WinWin special needs alcoholic placements,
should there actually be such a training thing,
because they didn’t want such needs
demanding in their already too complicated
indoor lose some-lose Sum
ZeroSoul too dissonant lives.

I agreed to meet Dementia
because her SocialWorker had persuaded herself,
whether through ignorance
or incompetence
I still know not,
although I’ve heard no WinWin rule
that one is less ignorantly likely
to incompetently appear
without the other,
She was persuaded
Dementia was not alcohol baptized
BiPolar Competitive more than DiPolar CoOperative,
Marked for a lifetime of Trumpian Wounded Child struggle
with bipolar cognitive-affective dissonance,
dismay, despair,
dissonant eruptions,
in addition to her cerebral palsy lifetime
of stinky and wet incontinence.

I met Dementia
in her most successful
(least tragic) foster home.

Mom was surrounded by so many kids
she did not know what to do.
But remained wise enough
to promise strong toilet-training skills
if only so someone else
would finally change Dementia’s messy climate diapers.

I brought a Dorah doll
for her recently past fifth birthday
and asked her if she spoke Spanish.
I have no idea what she said in response,
probably not Spanish,
but she delighted in tearing the packaging
into confetti
with a suspiciously satisfied smile.

Dorah would live on for a few months,
gradually losing body parts.
An arm here,
a leg there.
She went bald,
unexpectedly one scissored night.
Then her capacity to speak
and sing evaporated,
a mixed blessing
in my opinion
not that it was often asked for,
or ever heeded,
or even appreciated when received.
Dorah’s merciful beheading
led to a tearful cremation.

I had a lot of questions
for FosterMom
because I could not understand a word
Dementia mumbled.
I wasn’t even sure
of distinguishing between Yes and No
other than the too obvious non-verbal communication
that filled in for NegativEnergy
dissonant messaging systems.

So I asked why she seemed to have no resonant consonants
and could she hear clearly?
Is that a lazy left-brained eye?
Hard to tell because she needs both Left
and Right eye surgery
for lids she cannot bicamerally lift
enough to see the warm brown gleam
of her smiling therapeutic eyes.

What are those bald patches
in her hair?
How is she coming along,
or merely commingling,
with incontinence?
Why is she a choking risk?
Why does she gulp and swallow her food whole?
Why is she throwing her food
and other nutritional
nurturing elements,
colored markers?
Who is she talking to now,
because I can’t see anybody
in front of her eyes and ears
can you?

Lots of questions.
Not many informed responses.
So I told Dementia’s SocialWorker
I would take her as a pending pre-adoption placement
but only if she promises to leave her with me
long enough
so we can get her medical attention
needed for better long-term health-wealth results.

Wounded Sacred Dementia: Part Two

Dementia’s derelict WinLose SocialWorker
suboptimizingly hesitates
when I tell her
I have not changed my mind
about not adopting Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
into my vulnerable home
with a seven-year-old AfricanAmerican boy
and unable to defend himself,
or even run paraplegically away,
in the likely event of predative attack
by a jealous younger girl-child
who needs to be the ego-nurtured baby addict
of her household.

My older two AfricanAmerican sons
could defend their Nubian Princely selves,
and most certainly would,
after all,
they had experience living with Tyrant
who was older
and bigger
and louder.

The SocialWorker commits to giving me six months
unless someone else comes along
as WinWin qualified
and ready to commit
to bipolar alcoholism
for ZeroZone Soul life.

We both knew how unlikely
this would unfold
in our shared HereNow
4Dimensional RealTime
of ZeroSoul understorying TaoSpirit.

So we got Dementia’s ears tubed,
all the better to hear our creolizing consonants with.
Her eyes WinWin opened
to communication’s PositivEnergy integrities
all the better to watch us form our cooperative consonants.
Her brain pictures
all the better to predict her bipolar
ZeroSoul RightBrain emotional swings.
Her scalp de-ringwormed
all the better to fill her pretty head
with ribbgons
and butterfly berets
on her own tiny yang-braids.
Her now open eyes
wearing glasses
all the better to watch us WinWin smile back
and too often LoseLose frown,
to be incontinently honest,
holding our noses and heads
against each LoseLose other.

By the end of the first week
she no longer needed to take food to bed with her.

By the end of the first day
she taught me
When Dementia rises from her feeding chair
during a meal,
more of an athletic event,
a wrestling match really,
to jump Yang-up and Yin-down
and run around,
this does not mean she is done eating,
or feeding,
or whatever.
She has other
messier ways
to let me know
when she’s All Done!!!!

Jumping during mealtime
is something about liking the food,
absorbing PositivEnergy nurture,
and needing to calm down
and express Yang-enthusiasm.

So I stop removing her food
until the pink plastic bowl is serenely empty.
Although she usually takes care of bowl removal
for me,
or against me–
not entirely sure she is sure.

I put out another bowl
if she asks for it
(no judgment)
and leave it out for her
to eat or feed on, again,
depending on your dipolar-bipolar perspective,
or to just check on from time to time
to be sure it remains there
and not yet LoseLose empty,
until she learns to trust me
to listen to her good food to eat
PositivEnergy messages
as much or little as she wants to share
whenever she wants.
All I require is a Please?
Not even ThankYou!
although that would be nice,
and PositivEnergy appreciated.

So, no need to hoard food
or bolt it down without chewing
or LoseLose throw it
before someone takes it away.

more like a slow groaning year,
Dementia’s SocialWorker
threatens to remove her from my care
rather than leaving her with me
until she finds a more appropriate pre-adoptive placement.

Is this a WinWin promise
or a WinLose threat?

I offer to help her recruit an ego-ecotherapeutic adult
or two
without young vulnerable children
and pets,
and too awfully many sharp knives
and scissors
and voices,
who might agree to adopt
if I provide monthly respite.

But the Professional SocialWorker
in her infinitely divine
ZeroSum Win-Lose wisdom
does not want my help.
She refuses to look for a household without high risks
of further Dementia dings,
or to even disclose Fetal Alcohol labels
to prospects for WinWin adoption,
Or to even find an appropriate foster placement
in which Dementia could more successfully
more restoratively,
with further resilience and self-sustainability,
wait and heal and hope
for that just-right therapeutic parent(s).

I am now persuaded
that Dementia’s best restorative justice and peace hope
is to be rescued from her demented SocialWorker
and, to be fair,
from a retributive lack of welfare committed system
designed to reward the heavily mortgaged SocialWorker
for punitive anti-BirthFamily decisions
not in Dementia’s best
or long-term healthy interests.

My AfricanAmerican husband and older sons agreed,
given SocialWorker’s issues,
fueled by denial of internal climate pathologies,
we should proceed toward WinWin committed adoption
and hope for our mutual therapeutic best,
and not worst,
somehow both care-giving and care-receiving democracy,
mutual creolizing acclimation
as a resilient Left and resonant Right
multiculturing household,
sort of a PositivEnergy networking nest.

I would have asked my youngest son
but would not have known how to ask,
nor how to misunderstand his non-verbal benign response.

So Dementia is still with us,
turning seventeen later this year,
our only post-millennial girl
living with five trans-millennial males,
deep listening with Dementia
teaching hard lessons:

Resilience is to LeftBrain cognitive dissonance
as RightBrain Resonance
is to affective disintegration,
as notnot PositivEnergy
WinWin democratic trust
is to NegativEnergy LoseLose autocratic anti-trust
in self or Professional SocialWorker other.

Resilience Left and Resonance Right
polypathic Yang and Polyphonic Yin
nurturing nutrients
for rich dense resonantly complex
WinWin attitudinal
and behavioral co-empathic systems.

Just as chaotically dissonant
WinLose angry
and LoseLose fearful ecopolitical systems
can grow wickedly complex interdependencies
unraveling GoldenRule cooperative
WinWin strategies
to sustain self-other perpetuating equanimity.

Resilient healthy gains
despite fading outdoor voice losses
of RightBrain therapeutic polyculturing resonance.

has her own wild
polarizing resonance of voices
as deep and sacred
with each new outdoor RedSky dawn
as resilient resonant DNA-RNA Solidarity
Blues-inside imparts.



Wildly Domesticating BiCamerality

I wouldn’t call Bill Plotkin’s WildMind
unmitigated Wild RightBrained,
nor would I call his WinWin therapeutic thinking
with PositivEnergy feelings
entirely LeftBrain domesticated, diminished

Commodified, capitalized,
colonized and conquered,
deduced and reduced
down to a slow-grown dark pearl
of Negative YinEnergy
seduced by Yang Supremacy
yet still resiliently whispering

Sweet-felt nothings
to speak of dipolar Wild Risks
are also Therapeutic Opportunities,
either way,
with double-binding
not secular yet–
not still sacred

We must HereNow bilaterally speak
of Ed De Bono’s bilateral mind
as Plotkin’s WinWin
horizontal EgoEco fractal
of four winning prime colors,
or subpersonalities,
or Seasons of AnthroGeneric Development

co-arising Anima EcoLove,
spiral colored
WinWin and WinLose and LoseLose
ecopolitical democracies
avoiding apartheid violent aristocracies.

Although I’m not so sure
about Plotkin’s sequence of West
through North
through East
emerging SouthLight Yellow
at this bimillennial TippingPoint moment.

But turquoise and ultra-violet by Night
and purple with delineating yellow by Day
sounds about Ego-Eco politically spectral correct
to RightBrain dominant
Rainbow fascinated
singing and dancing EarthSouls.

But Beige at the beginning
of co-arising bilateral Time ourselves?
That’s a Cowan and Beck
Spiral Dynamics error.

This Beige must not
and could not be,
but grey-scale instead
before LeftBrain language
developed stereophonic color categories
and scent regimes
for YangLight
with Yin DNA-RNA fractal

Strings full-orchestra
restoring therapeutic democracy
of bilateral HereNow time
in resilient-conscious empowerment
with dualdark NegativEnergy.

Like Trump and NewAge Lenin NegativEnergy
shitting on North Korea
short-person syndrome
NewAnthropogentric Age Napoleon
his tree,
primal lavish geopolitical royalty,
West double-binding East
in nihilistic corrupting competitivity.

If I could turn back WildMind Time
I would fly us back to PA
and Michigan
and Wisconsin too,
to get just a few more wise women
to ignore complacency polls
ignoring Russian trolls,

To stand up against sexism
and AmericaFirst Totalitarianism,
and Climate Pathology Denialism,
and pathological absence of restorative health care.

To stop raking their liberated democratic leaves
for a half hour.
Go vote
for anyone but CombOver Bully
with the grabby hands
of MeFirst Supremacism
and ThirdGeneration bad attitude
of a nouveau riche pretention
not so wild woolly
WhitePatriarch bully,

Hopelessly confused
especially about how to make a WinWin resilient profit,
or prophet,
much less prophetess
with Sacred Matriotic Earth.

Healthy WildRight dipolar minds
and Domesticated LeftDominant brains
all agree,
healthy wealth lies
in turning Yang down
at least a YinSquared cooling degree.

Away from monoculturing Red
and toward BlueGreen cooperativity.


Apartheid v Spiritual Integrity

The frontal lobe of Earth’s spoken history
bifurcates like Earth’s revolving molten axis
co-arising dervish dance
to YangSun’s radiant light.

So too my SoulCare
between Left and Right frontal hemispheres
reforms a spinning AlphaPoint of heated human language
for cultural feedback spiral-cycles
of mediated reiteration.

Ego and Eco Cycles distinguishable
by their resistance to bad mistrust
that EarthMothers would ever choose neutrality
in response to apartheid,
or carelessly tolerate anthro-centric hubris
or nihilistically wish to revolve time backward
toward Earth’s red dawn
of plant-fueled prehistory of life.

WiseElder Earth’s BlackHole ZenCore
revolves more positively
toward polyculturing health abundance
and, with dissonant negative RightBrain feedback,
upon LeftBrain veering too dominatrixly off course
as a humane-divine vocational longing
belonging within this sacred ecological SpeciesEgo
formed by MatrioticPatriotic EarthTime
equivalent revolutions
of (0)Core SpaceTime.

Veering monoculturally colonizing off course,
spreading RightWings
dominate desires to overpower
Sacred EcoLogically Balancing Earth
with Yang’s LeftBrain apartheid
deductive-reductive dominance.

RightBrain Sacred EarthMother does not appreciate
our LeftBrain hubris
enslaving and
colonizing and
capitalizing on Her sacred nutritional-energy integrity,
now anthro-centrically raped and aborted future life
for monocultural apartheid hubris
of past historical deformations
lack of polypathic educations,
ego-centric vain lapses
heading heedless toward military-industrial capital investments
in threat and death and punishment,
self-prescribed Mutual Assured Destruction
of all Earth’s AnimaMundi Balancing
Core and Spirits and Souls,
Left-Right mindbodies of and for
ego-eco balanced education
and natural-spiritual nondual formation.

Earth’s cooperative WinWin
nature-spirit Core ReGeneration
Original Democratic Constitutional Intent
of Holy PatrioticMatriotic Spirit
is as equivalently transparent
as the genomes spread across
our bicameral yellow and purple-searching eyes
and red with blue-veined ears,
bilateral boned hands
and tendril rooting feet
for healing Earth’s sacred restorations,
of life for all God’s divine polyculturing DNA
and RNA Sacred AnimaMundi Tribes.

Multicultural societies regenerating Earth’s long-winded feedback systems
racing through revolving loops
of light speed,
PositivEnergy toward climax
fading apartheid’s Negative Dissonance,
hard-learned LoseLose pathologies.

Frontal waves of Earth’s spoken enculturation
bifurcate along mindbody revolving molten axis
co-arising dervish RightYin speed
of anti-apartheid dance
in YangSun’s radiant light.



Systems Loop in Spirals

Let’s talk honestly together
about our divinely-inspired inter-related concepts,
like color,
of God’s unlimited multiculturing powers
for healthy resilience
and growth of Positive ultra-violet Energy,
yet on an increasingly finite feeling and self-feeding planet,
limited by overpopulation of anthros
powerless to sustain life
throughout our planetary grey-scaled and commodified
bought and sold,
invested and divested,
borrowed and stolen

A spiraling vicious out of control anti-evolutionary system
formerly known,
and/or felt,
as sacred ecology optimizing
a deep-learning Gaia
WinWin outcome oriented
WiseElder Original CoPresent Intention,

Ego with EcoConsciousness,
Holy Nature-Spirited external-internal mindfulness,
Left secularized deductive
dominantly emerging
from Sacred ElderRight

Advocating polycultural DNA-RNA Solidarity of ProLife
regenerative prime-fractal inter-relationship feedback loops,
throughout four prime dimensions
of Earth regenerating loops and spirals,
4D RealTime Revolutions of FullOctave
PositivEnergy Color.

Let’s listen comparatively
to how AmericaFirst sounds
to Eastern Left-Right nondual horizons.

Those dipolar-aware
that NorthWest nations revolve
around the SacredSun’s light fertility
no more
no less
than SouthEast nations,
advocate for and with
Nutritional Energy Democracy,
Health Equity.

If we are not all EarthFirst WinWin together,
then life,
even of SunGod’s fertile just-right light
as Paradised on ReGenerative Earth,
cannot long last on Goddess Gaia’s living skin
favoring CoOperative
spiraling AnimaMundi bilateral consciousness
of revolving feedback loops,
mindfulness of treasured EarthParadise
for future WinWin Left-Right regenerators
of DNA-RNA Sacred Solidarity in LoveLife.

We share a sacred mythopoetic Elder RightBrain identity
in which fractal-spiraling health is our goal
and wealth is our sacred multiphonic achievement thereof.

This polypathic health game cannot be divinely successful
if played through infinite growth of egocentric need
powering over finite resonant EarthFirst eco-resilience
of WinWin Paradise today,
in each notnot (0)Soul moment,
within each individuating identity of interdependent relationships,
each ego,
each nurturing neighborhood,
each educated community,
each informed state,
each conscious nation,
each feedback spiraling living planet
of Sacred EgoEcoLogical Integrity.

Our RightHand dominant orthodoxies
of healthy abundant economies
and wealthy resonant social politics
for ongoing inter-relationships
already feel and intuit
this Elder Matriotic Wisdom
of Yin-PolyPhonic CoOperation
ambivalent double-bound
with notnot Yang PolyPathic.

Such wisdom is as ancient
as the first Tree of Life,
healthy RNA feedback recycling
in appositional cotension with
Infinite Pathological Death.

What could we have left to lose
but hatred and mistrust
if Washington and Moscow and Peking
gained WiseElder consciousness
of an Ancient Forest
restoring CoGovernor Solidarity
in Full-PolyPathic Color?