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Pandemonic Hope

“I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining”

I remember someone recently resaying
what has long lain unsaid
inside my paradoxical head,

When asked if I believe in God,
I don’t know what to say.

I might not believe in your God,
at least on my worst
pain-darkened day.

And,
I seem to believe in my own
only in those rare rain-free moments
healthy ego- and eco-gratifying

When I am having a climax heart
and head
song
and dance remembering
re-ligioning
reconnecting EarthMoment

Shared with at least one Other,
perhaps for our first through last time
in this
our day of sacred synergy

Sustaining
surrounding
celebrating a yellow morning
mellow sunrise
promising this wealthy day
without soggy rain

As we prepare to health harvest
warmly fragrant sun-dried hay
I quietly say

So, there is a God,
after all.

“And I believe in love
even when there’s no one there.
And I believe in God
even when he is silent.”

These two additional beliefs
feel like one Relief Belief
to my bicameral head choice
and heart voice.

For it has often been said
and felt
that God is love

Especially when
Matriotic HolySpirit of Love
doesn’t act like a Patriarchal Fool

And, by that,
I reference my own sociopathology
of privileged entitlement
monoculturally over-invested
in capitalist Straight
White
Earth Predations
Colonizations
Extractions
Rapaciousness

But,
my most courageous inscriptions
of whispering hope
often not felt enough
sacredly chosen silence
in spaces between
my LeftBrain dominant
distracting notes

Where my own AnthroSupremacism
falls vibrantly listening
to responsively hear
Elder MotherTrees
sigh
and breeze

Silently praying
for strong rooted
cooperative integrity

Within this organic Green Communion
forest of hands on
generating regenerous Hope.

Note:

Pandemonic Hope is part of a series of theological reflections offered to and from the All Souls Unitarian-Universalist Choir in New London, Connecticut. 

“Inscription of Hope” was composed for the Nebraska Choral Arts Society and Children’s Chorus by Z. Randall Stroope, in conversation with a Russian Folk Tune.  His lyrics are drawn from an inscription on cellar walls hiding Jews in Cologne, Germany, during World War II. Stroope’s own 1994 reflection on the significance of these words, in this Holocaust pandemonic context, “Hope was all they had to hold on to; hope was their only bridge to a brighter [nonviolently restoring justice] tomorrow.”

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Seeking Salvation in Retiring Spaces

Prayers,
sometimes lightly lyrical,
slyly satirical,
self-conscious,
ego-
and anthro-chosen folk
transcendently
yet personally
individually woke,
and sometimes full embodied
passions in Praise Him!
shout out

Echo in-
voking round resonance
with all Earth’s eternal
regenerating lively
lovely resilience.

Prayers
express “I feel”
so invoke “I want,
even actively need”
Trust Statements

Or,
prayers are LeftBrain dominant
performances
of True v False
Health v Pathology
internal v external
enlightening transcendent thoughts
v empowering emotional support,
Reason v Passion Stories.

“Lordy, Lordy
I sure do hope
for active Sunday hope
that Donald Trump
will someday,
although probably not this day,
enjoy a long
and healthy
and unusually quiet,
cruelly serene,
claustrophobically private retirement
into suffering
and mental anguish
over all his many sociopathological
sins against natural
and spiritual,
physical
and mental,
embodied and mindful health care
giving
by receiving
copassionate
co-invested communion.”

In this prayer,
what does grandmother Eartha feel?

Lack of sufficient hope
for robust and healthy redemption,
maybe sadness about humanity’s great fall
into partisan disunion,
probably chronic climate anxiety,
in which She betrays
and is betrayed by
fear of RightWing AnthroSupremacy.

Meditations
on red sky climate warnings
nonverbally remind MeSheWe
together invoke nonviolent polypaths
leading to polyphonic
lyrical and PraiseHim!
for what we all,
with thriving rich resilient souls,
wish for

An unusually quiet,
serene,
private retiring redemption

From Old Testament
PatriCapitalist
Nothern White epic histories
of colonization

We nearly all AnthroSupremely invoke
deep EarthTribal fears
of our own BusinessAsUsual corporate
systemic
nationalistic
white cracker violent
discommunications

And we are all dearly angry
about lack of sufficiently empowering
and enlightening retirement funds
and redeeming facts,

Spiraling polynomially spacious circles
of polyphonic prayers intoned
entombed beyond eternal silence
peacefully polypathic

Invoking
“I feel lyrical” performances
and I need more than mere divine performance
embracing deep Nature/Spirit flow
ing widely polypathic
“Praise Him/Her, We Two!”

Wu-wei extending conscious
polyculturing healthy conscience
continuing compassion’s
discontinuous
EarthPeace Prayer.

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Eighth Grade English

Back in Eighth Graded Class
of StraightWhiteMale English privilege
I learned all healthy narratives
must have at least one
of these three tension intentions:

Like sacred mythic prayers
and fables invoking
poetry and soulful
gospel anthems

Of StraightWhite Man v AnthroOther

Or StraightWhite ManBody v EgoCentric Self

Or StraightWhite ManSpirit v Earth’s Sacred/Carnal Nature

I was disappointed
with the LeftHemisphere narrow-mindedness
of these three Either/Ors
which my RightHemisphere
could more deeply hear
as monocultural lack
of inter-trinitarian
Both HumanTrauma and DivineTherapy
in integrity’s polyculturally inclusive
compassionate Earth Communion.

I thought I had seen and heard
lack of heart resources
among AnthroSupremacist early philosophers
and scripture righter downers
instinctively suppressing liberally democratized
polycultural health-systemic
polypathic compassion communicating
polyphonic harmonic resounding
polyvagal neurosystems
most actively hoping health
among win/win economically enlightened
and politically empowered EarthWomanists.

I’m sure I still can feel touched gratitude
for more healthy democratic attitude
co-governing cooperative green co-investments
in EarthMother climate
and family healthcare,
public
and domestic,
global
and local nutritional wealth conservation,

Economically bright
and politically right
ecologically tight relationships
lead
and feed
theologically mighty cooperative reflections

Politically correct
replete with regenerative
healthy co-redemptive
win/win poyculturally meditative
mediation strategies seductive
among win/lose monocultural predatives,

Encouraging, perhaps, a cannabis sedative
and easing up on alcoholic dissociatives
drunk from win/lose evolutionary theories
of AnthroSupremacy Wins Earth’s wealthiest superlative
despite stumbling into humbling wounds
of multi-degenerational EcoCide

A more Left/Right Wing balanced
evolutionary race theory of white supremacy
unbalanced
mentions intrinsic narrative tensions
between peaceful intentions
and male militaristic
colonizing
enslaving
proprietary
patrilinear monocultural domination
going way back through HiStory

Toward brighter indigenous lights
of early monotheistic SunGod Worship
preferring healthier transparent light
and wealthier vulnerable win/win
co-sensory empowerment

Among prehistoric
preverbal family groups
extended kin

PanEnTheistic
early regenerational DNA co-relatives
of wavey Time integrity
and atomic faced Space
bicamerally synergetic

PolyHealth fed
and EcoWealth watered
compassion’s
co-binary extension

InBetween Yang’s Open ZeroZone
and Yintegral NonZero
soulful bicameral response
along polypathic lines
with polyphonic ringing
spaces
harmonic singing

For panoramic
epic textured narratives
of faithful AnthroSupremacists
learning how much we BlueSky love
and GreenEarth worship
our own
personal

Ecofeminist
Green empowering
Indigenous GrandMothers
who lived and died
long before verbal language
LeftBrain robust enculturation,
and Eighth Grade English
privileged class.

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BumperSticker Salvation

I’m behind a dull white Chevy sedan
developing a lived-in look
while waiting for a greener light

With more than sufficient time
to read two rather ragged bumper stickers
in radical red,
relentless white,
and smoky blue.

The left side message
right in front of my resting wheel
reminded me of my waiting shame
that Jesus had to die
because of my personal sins
for which no one else
could even be partially
pulled out to blame

Only confirming
my bad-self flame
burning along with
a ZeroSum Win now
to delay Losing later
our all-in financial
and partisan lame game

Selling out to our competitive patriarchal
hierarchical shame
of predative corporate Christian Capitalism,
which is what remains
of Cooperative Economics
after squeezing all natural
indigenous spirit wisdom
out of wealth
is health optimizing life.

If only I were less selfish
and lazy
about mediating good-faith
healthcare co-investment cooperatives
as I move along
through each nonviolently communicating
day and night

Bringing me back to the bumper sticker
on my right wing
reminding me,
There is room left
at the Cross for me

Which immediately feels threatening,
ominously judged
and found collectively guilty
for my personal lack of faithful
healthy Soul,
big shortages in potential win/win co-investments
like gratitude for PolyCultural GreenHealth Communions
wherever I might stumble into them again
acting like We care
about health wealth resilient Us.

So, I’m tragically predestined
to climb onto the same rugged cross,

[and why is our cross always so iconically “rugged”
rough and primitive
ragged and wretched
manly and rapacious?
Why never graceful,
flexible,
poignant
transformative
potentially metamorphic
compassionate?]

Losing today
to maybe survive until tomorrow morning’s
StraightWhite God
declares redawning
punishing
timeless omnipotence
to judge all my tomorrows.

Yes,
there is a room for me
at the patriarchal foot
and the capital head
of threatening
punishing mortality
inflamed by oppression
of LeftHemisphere dominant
StraightWhite PatriCapital
anthro-divine individualistic
monotheistic supremacy

Worshiping healthy SunEnlightened humanity
by denying a wounding Cross
we have win/lose ZeroSum created
and recreate each day
between each nightmare
against sacred Earth’s polycultural communioning
reunioning
reweaving
win/win NonZero Soul
optimizing sacred Integrity’s
ecological
economic empowering
EarthWealth

Of a love so radically liberal
Jesus could get more democratically down
off our CapitalistCorporate cross

And then
I’m suddenly no longer behind a dull white Chevy sedan
developing a lived-out look
while waiting for my greener light.

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Revolution’s Peace PerSpective

Go ahead
Dare to invite him
to a climaxing fall-colored picnic

To read you his obituary for himself
and for you,
subject to future updating
round perspectives
free for changing
still-evolving revolutions

Then,
my retrospective therapeutic turn
to introspectively review again
past traumas
of EgoSpection
surrounded outside
by his contextual EcoSpectral Spectrum Spectives
warm and cool,
freezing and redhot
climaxing traumatic knots

Not to out loud trust
speaking these Interior Obituary Inspections
about myself
and also His Exterior FullSpectral ReInspected
vulnerable truths, as I would heal them
through more transparent healthy wealth
of mutual compassion
slowly moving forward.

Then,
while opening the picnic basket
and our impassioned historic mouths
to speak of our possible future
re-amending revolution,

We take in all we can become grateful
for receiving now
here,
in this sacred dining
graced reperspective place
through our correlational experienced time
space within this eternally nutritious
nature seen and nurture heard
compassionate communion
grace

In this
our eternally momentary
yet fully spacious
nonzero zoning sacred space

For further IntroVersive Speculation
Exterior AdVersive SpecuElation
RetroInversive
CoReVersive Spectator Meditations

Spectacularly vulnerable
IntroAdversive
SpecCumulative
SpecUlative Reflections

On MeWe personal health
is also our cooperating political wealth
to socially empower
and culturally enlighten
economic incorporating cooperation
with nonviolently positive
psychologically therapeutic
nontraumatic communication

WinWin v WinLose
our polyvagal wavering way
OK
but inviting more friendly
cooperatively co-invested
Left/Right DiPolar ReInSpections
reigning in co-passioning consciousness
of win/win co-relational banalities

cognitive/affective rebalancing
thought/felt binomialities
nondualistic wisdom
indigenous Left/Right
redeveloping naturally spiritual
embodied mind realities

Indi/ExtraForming Genius
genous
generous
regenerate

Ego/Eco-ReIntroductions
ReInductive outflowing consciousness
ingrowing rememory
outgoing
MeWe reflowing

NonZeroZones
of inside/outside double-boundary baskets
and tongue-speaking lungs
on a picnic for nonviolently recommunicating
our CoPassionate RetroSpectives,
autumn harvest
obituary perspectives

Of two separated
yet still married gay men
in our sixties,
with memories as a Southblack/Northwhite couple
and as parents
of four wounded
gratefully adopted children
of color
and diverse genders
and gender preferences
and transgender questions,

Longing to live
in a global climate perspective
of universal empowering healthcare
and unitarian eco-outside green respectives
multiculturally woke
enlightened consciousness
yang outside health
is also yintegral inside wealth

Of polyculturally green ecosystems
producing healthy multiculturals
ego/eco-loving
NatureEarth-ReSpirited
EcoFeminist Win/Win
cheers and chills
for this
our RetroSpective
CoEmpathic
ReUnion.

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NonDueling Conductors

A Straight
White
Elder Patriarch
came in to where I RightBrain sing
my Gay
White
EcoFeminist way

He seems to want to stay,
to overpower my say
and will to sing
our musing pray

Because…
why?
I wonder what he feels
about me,
us,
about his own deep harmonic longing
to listen for our sung together feelings

Music therapy
composed of what we economically
and politically Trust,
wanting mutual
and actively co-invested
full singing circle harmonic Wins right now
to Win more easily tomorrow’s healthing way

And what might this PatriCapitalist feel
he does not want?
Perhaps less Win/Lose
ZeroSum power and light assumptions
actively distrusted
settling for more traumatic apartheid,
denial of interdependently woven relationship,
nature v spirit non-indigenous dualism
divorced from his own prehistoric felt experience
longing to avoid further nihilistic Lose/Lose
trauma
decay
pain
loss
degeneration.

Am I distracting
dissonant
too RightBrain gooey
for serious performance competition
with Your church choir’s
true blue bought and sold
commodified liturgical purpose?

To put on a good LeftBrain entertaining show

Rituals about cooperatively enjoying
our win/win WholeEarth health-care receiving
and resilient wealth-care giving
by conducting bicamerally harmonic potential

For healthier democracies,
more cooperatively owned EarthPartnership,
more inclusive multicultural polypaths
for universally unitarian polyphonic
constellations of integral systemic Voice

Yang yintegrally
WuWei
less Western sociopathic trauma
best forgiven through compassionate
indigenously polycultural
wellness sung and danced

Win health Voices
to Win resilient wealth Choices
for green ego/ecosystemic leadership

Con-celebrating BlueSky/GreenEarth
light and power felt
warm harmonic need
for more and better
inter-religious
intersectional
interdependently reweaving
healthy democratic communion

Which is what I need
and want to say
about how I seem to feel
when a Straight
White
Elder Patriarch
comes in to where I RightBrain sing
my Gay
White
EcoFeminist way.

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Learning to Accept

Thank you Stathi,

I thought this was going to be about Learning to Accept

degenerating ancient bodies
degenerating soulful minds
a degenerating,
indigenously NatureYang/SpiritYintegrally wise EarthTribe
of Organic EcoSystemic MultiReligious PolyCultures:

PanenTheistic
StraightWhiteMale Universal-West MonoTheism v. [and] Queer Spiral EcoFeminist PeaceActivist Unitarian-East PolyTheism,

AnthroSupremacist MonoTheism North 1/0 Sacred EarthMother PolyCultural South

[co-arising dipolar bicamerality]

PatriCapitalist Dominant RightWing/
MatriCommunion Indigenously EcoFeminist LeftWing

[potential for bicameral self and other restoring justice]

Within a more internally/externally
breathing in healthy and breathing out wealthy EarthClimate of Integrity

[GoldenRule, nonviolently applied to one’s own EgoLeftYang Hemisphere
by EcoSystemic RightYintegrity’s Sacred ReGenerative BiHemispheric Potential.]

Which is a journey all about learning to accept that win/lose PatriCapital LeftBrain Universal dominance can be forgiven,
especially as we deep learn
and nonviolently listen
for

PolyCultural Communion,
RightBrain Unitarian prominence
can become MultiCulturally
EcoPolitically
BiCamerally
ConCelebrated
CoPassionate
CoInvestments in thriving Win/Win Health/Wealth optimizing

Creolizing,
sacred inside/outside communion transubstantiating
regenerative healthier climate futures
for win/win thriving
co-investing
cooperatively GoldenRule organizing
EarthTribal regenerations
of bicameral balancing
ego-health/sacredEarthWealth amplitude
gratitude
positive ecopolitical attitude
ecofeminist organic platitudes
from way, way back

before U.S. history,
before English language
before European human history,
before linguistic language
before homosapiens
to DNA’s Left/Right spiraling
health/wealth
nature/spirit
outside/inside
strong/flow
regeneratively climaxing
dipolar co-arising wisdom.

That said, and even bicamerally so,
my LeftBrain ego identity still thought this was going to be about Learning to Accept
eternal win/lose anxiously, chronically traumatic pre/post stress, cognitive/affective dissonance,
strong win/lose evolutionary competitive human natural
PatriCapitalist overwhelming
win/win timeless NonZero Soul
ecofeminist underdogs
[RightWing often thought of as MeToo# []itches]
for aregenerative healthy democracy
by wealthy resilient way
of bicamerally climaxing overflow

Instead of Learning to Accept
LeftBrain dominance
as if it were monotheistically
Straight White Western “MaleGod”
monoculturally inevitable
AnthroSupremacy.

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Gnostic A/Theistic Systems

My bicameral strong connection
between monotheism
and anthro-supremacism
lies in dogmatic monocultural belief

OneGod
created and recreated
and remade and premade
this Universal Home
MeWe bilaterally celebrate
as HealthyTrue
enlightened resonance
and WealthyBeautiful
empowering resilient PatriCapitalist editing
while recopying

Scribes transcribing
hoping to transubstantiate
our own LeftBrain monoculturing
encultured comfort training

Communicating sacred rhetorical secularizing history
of monotheistic StraightWhiteMale
retributive divine justice privileged

AnthroEgo-dominant reinforcing
individualized protagonist oppressions
against Great Dark MultiCulturally Matriarchal Others,
RightBrain reweaving alien panentheistic
eco/theological preverbal foreign nondualism

With only primordially felt incapacity
to verbally distinguish
between ecologically uncovered healthy relationships
and theologically recovered wealthy theistically
mighty monocultural overpowering
entitled experience
of individually commodified things

Property owned more salient
than interwoven synergetic properties
ecofeminist cooperatively self-organized
co-natural/spiritual

Indigenously prehistorically felt
animated NatureSpirits
of nonviolent/violent communications
through exterior/interior win/win needs
to heal traumatic silence
dissonance
lose now or lose later
mortal dissociation

Boring through bicameral balancing experiences
remembering
reconnecting
re-ligioning
Theo/EcoLogically robust climaxes
down and up,
in and out,
back and forth
sacredly inspired
and secular expiring

Sensory-neural nonviolent communication
bicamerally co-arising
dipolar health/wealth optimizing
experience of EcoTheist
polytheistic natured
and panentheistic internally enspirited
EgoHumane/EcoDivinely
NonZero-FullHearted Soul
Universal-Unitarian
Tao WuWei BiCameral

Ego YangPatriarchal/Eco-Yintegral Womanist
Nature/Spirit indigenous
SkyWoman/EarthWomb myths
regenerating Light/Power sacred mystery

Spacious/BiLaterally Timeless History
of EarthTribe’s ReGeneratively Dynamic
CoCreation

Including Western StraightWhite Males
choosing ancient sacred manuscripts
requiring some editing holes plunged in
editing
correcting
disciplining manly scripture,
translating and re-editing

While recopying
and transcribing
and transubstantiating
monocultuiring PatriCapitalist enculturing
evermore BusinessAsUsual worn path chosen

For sacred rhetorical history
of monotheistically overpowering
StraightWhiteMale privileged

LeftBrain dominant further reinforcing
academic deductive
reductive oppressions against RightBrain panentheistic
preverbal incapacity
to verbally articulate
any distinction
that could possibly make a difference

InBetween ecologically healthy relationships
and theologically robust climax experiences

Of sensory-neural nonviolent communication systems
transubstantiating bicamerally co-arising
atheistic/theistic co-experience
of external verbally dominant Voices
and internally preverbally felt
prominently climaxing
and ebbing
heart-resonant
resilient health/wealth Choices.

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BiCameral ReEducation

Bicameral education
recreates feelings of deeply safe integrity
and widely sustainable win/win nonviolent communication

Within
and between
green communion experiential
mindbody
healthwealth integral
organic systems
whole
holistic
openly regenerating

Ego/EcoSystemic
health redemptive
safe sustainable wealth potential.

To paraphrase Nancy Pelosi,
Our educational strength
is our multicultural
inter-religious
indigenous
universal wisdom

While our ecological health power
is our sustainable
integral
unitarian
Whole Open EarthView
BiCameral CoPassion.

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When HealthHope Sings

When I am a healthy Norwich person
I hope to feel warm and joyful gratitude
for compassionate nonviolent communicators
past and present

With cooperatively nonpartisan
bipartisan
dipolar co-arising transportive projects
programs
processes

Voiced choices
to restore local
and bioregionally cooperative EarthHealth

PrePartisan
PreHistoric
multicultural heart-felt Care
for EarthJust restoring
wealthy GreenPeace,
outside ego-extending family
wealth cultures
inside eco-resiliently resonant
health climates

ReMinding
ReWinding
ReMembering
ReConnecting
ReLigioning
indigenous EarthTribe wisdom
ReGenerating EarthCare
multiculturally mediating
inter-connected Wisdom,
metaphysically
polyphonically inter-re-ligious

As OldSchool animated spirit-natured
ecofeminist Algonquin native communions
appreciating EarthMother’s Mashantucket
bucket of resilient Pequot empowering
politically cooperative economies
for universally unitarian health care
giving and receiving

ReSonating songs and dances
enlightening heart-felt eco/theo-logical
healthy EarthCare
and wealthy EarthTribe economic safety
conserving our sacred/secular co-invested
ReSilient Highest and Deepest TransHistoric Sorority
of EarthSky civilizing sibilance.

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