Uncategorized

When Wellness Exists

What resiliently exists
has synergetically become together
more than win/lose competitive apart

Win/Win reframed
as future integrity’s healing potential
existence,
sustainable experience,
potency for positive resonance,
multicultural cross-creating
and re-creating narratives

Historical regenerative
cultural responsive
co-invested fore-gifted plots
to co-invest
in co-redeeming
cooperative ecopolitical systems.

What cannot exist,
viably persist
prefacing entropic
static
unchanging enthymematic
pre-emptive being
without past integral reweaving
systemic and ecological potential
to produce empowering gifts

To induce grace
to seed
breed regenerative health creation,

Wealth of multicultural creolization,
positive resonant inter-nations
complexly co-invested
nested cooperative fore-gifted sets
of interdependent resilience

Throughout WholeEarth Systems
re-creating
ego/eco-feminists
more rightbrain prominent
re-educators
recycling
reweaving co-redeeming narratives

Repurposing
re-ligioning
re-integrating secular and sacred
re-storied Meaning

CoMediating political bicameral ways
and economic bilateral means.

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Start Making Love

I wonder if salvation

[and ecologies of cooperative win/win forgiveness,
and political powers of health-trusting democracy,
and investment economies of mercy
beyond a capital self-investment monoculture]

Cooperatively swimming
in too privileged
exclusive
chosen-people redemptive economies
can be therapeutically transformed
by multicultural non-violent trust-experience
of being reliably heard and steadfastly respected
for whom we most left-hemisphere transparently
and right-hemisphere vulnerably
are listening to just now

Not only on our most leisurely sabbath days
but also throughout our most anxiously dark survival nights

Greeted with win/win non-violent anticipation
rather than win/lose Business As Usual anxiety.

I feel awed by our social capital enrichment,
our democratically cooperative win/win potential
of re-cognizing to more deeply anticipate
every individual ZeroZone
as ego-1/eco-0-balancing potential
investing in our best day sameness,
rather than over-infesting
ruminating within our worst nightmare memories
of shame
self-blame
guilt hidden and tightly gripped

Inside feelings/outside verbalized
win/lose anxious
win/win anticipation thoughts,
re-memberings
co-empathic mirrors re-echoing
re-investing
re-ligioning
re-generating
re-experiencing
re-sonant
re-silient
non-silent yet non-violent
multicultural anticipation of profound similarities
anticipating good faith,
healthy freedom to co-empathically love,
in our wealthy bias for actively compassionate hope

More powerfully enlightened
than re-mainstreaming
de-capitalizing
dis-enfranchising
dis-empowering
un-illuminating
dis-eased
di-visive
des-pairing
dis-invested
anxiously un-conscious
Lose-ego/Lose-eco-systemic potential

Outside non-violently co-passionate anticipations,
health optimizing
social
and economic
and political
and personal
and community
and global multiculturing wealth.

So, I also wonder
if empowering good faith ecopoli-culturing communities,
if civilly enlightened public service economies,
are those best co-invested
in multicultural strong communion
through win/win non-violently flowing communications

Deep learning
multigenerational ecologies
of cooperative co-investment
in salvific YangPowered universal development
through socio-economic unitarian envelopment
YinticipatingLight.

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Banquet of Gratitude

Spirits of unnatural forgiveness
for past bullying behavior
and sacred redemption
from internalized shaming,
self-blaming

Begin in our shared multiculturing
co-empathic nature
uncomfortable with win/lose historic
and contemporary choices,
ecopolitical system analyzed
and deep egocenteredly felt

Longing for an interfaith return
to win/win healthy solidarity
as part of regenerative
indigenous TurkeyWisdom Earth
with all Her multiculturing
multigenerational
organic and energetic
matriarchal fore-giving
life systems

Democratizing
co-operating
co-empowering
co-enlightening

Skills with verbal and nonverbal,
left and right hemisphere,
non-violently laid down listening life
communication

Not playing shame
and self/other blame
win/lose judgmental competition games
embedded in negative emotions,
not positive win/win regenerate motions,
notions,
songs and impulsive dances,
positive analogies
and deeply complex metaphoric
healthy
wealthy
wiser experiences

When our gratitude remembers to ask
Is this my best
shamelessly ecological EarthPatriotic/Matriotic self?
Does this theologically reflect
our healthiest ecosystemic
ecotherapeutic wealth
of perennial win/win communion meals
ego/eco-balancing EarthWisdom?

I want to produce a Thanksgiving InterFaith Feast
that extends my feeling
and awareness of graced multiculturing family,
verbally and nonverbally communicating
gratitude for healthy compassion,

But, even more deeply,
we long to become a polyculturally deep feeding
and breeding spiritual paradise naturally pleasured
Thanksgiving Banquet
of win/win blue/green
secular/sacred communion,

Not so much triumphalistic
and communications empirical;
More deeply EarthEvangelic,
co-messianic
as purple mountain majesties.

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Inconvenient Wisdom

Instant individual redemption
from predative enculturation
is overly spiritualized,
under naturalized,
rightwing evangelical dogma
more likely found in empire-building
strong business development texts
than multi-enculturing
re-connecting
re-ligioning nature/spirit scriptures.

If spiritual redemption from baseline natural evils
is good news for individuals,
yet inapplicable to global EarthJustice potential,
then what inconvenient truth remains
bad news for retributive win/lose justice models
and nationalistic
military-industrialized
RightWing felt disassociation
from LeftWing win/win wisdom truths
for globally optimizing individual health
and nondual
non-dissociated
re-connected natural/spiritual global wealth?

When Jesus was confronted
by RightWing Pharisees
about the justice/injustice
of stoning a woman accused of infidelity,
for lack of monotonously blind loyalty
to her male owner,
Jesus’s response
did not focus on the individual’s redemption
or irredeemable need for punishment;
Instead

Let the one individual among you
without sin,
without any personal history of inconvenient unhealthy truths,
cast the first lose/lose DeathCulture
self-righteously winged stone.

When leftbrain dominant ears
hear Jesus’s LeftWing restorative justice response,
we quickly marginalize it’s radical
revolutionary call out against traditional
patriarchal
RightWing dominant commitment
to retribution,
to society’s revenge against the inconvenient individual,
to “vengeance is mine”
says a wrathful God
the StraightWhitePatriarchal super-anthro Image

A LeftBrain all Guilt
or all NotGuilty idolatry
made in capital-worshipping
natural, so not inconveniently spiritual,
Business As Usual predative
competitive social punishing system.

In today’s LeftBrain dominant
professional civil service
nation-imaged preoccupation,
Death by stoning
is cruel and unusual punishment
even for a lesbian
dark-skinned
stoned and substance addicted murderess.

Which sidesteps co-messianic potential
for win/win restorative justice,
for re-connection,
natural/spiritual integral re-ligioning
synergetic re-membering
that choosing not to perpetuate stone-throwing,
to no longer invest in RightWing retributive DeathWorship
by punishing individual win/lose sinners
by reducing their value
as judged in exclusive reaction
to this individual’s worst sociopathic day

Rather than re-contextualizing
re-connecting guilt and blame and shame
re-ligioning
re-membering, as well,
RightWing inconvenient truths
of our first and best win/win ecotherapeutic days
of infancy;
pre-leftbrain dominant innocence
of cruel and unusual
inhumane
self/other punishing
loser blame/loser shame
hypocritical injustice systems

Hiding from our LeftWing
health natural/wealth spiritual
democratic bilateral selves
that not choosing to further wound
less than perfect individuals
and communities,
monocultures
and privileged wealthy societies,
competitive states
and RightWing patriarchal
capital worshipping win/lose HumanNature
is a political
and economic
mercifully co-redemptive act

Born of solidarity
in this inconvenient interfaith truth
we have all RightWing win/lose sinned
against Earth’s win/win regenerate
co-redemptive LeftWing
co-operative bicameral
ego-patriarchal and eco-feminist resonant health
and ecological/theological resilience building
for restoring EarthJustice wisdom wealth
of win/win opportunity
for all multiculturing EarthTribes.

It seems an inconvenient truth
that RightWing political powers
are misused to focus attention
on punishing ourselves
for our worst catastrophic
leftbrain dominant predative choices

Rather than resolved toward bicameral balance,
resonance to refocus,
to globally re-ligion,
to ecologically and theologically re-member

Neither humane/divine Jesus
nor any Great Redemption Teacher,
Master,
Mentor,
Multicultural Mediator,
would divide
what leftbrain Divine
and rightbrain interdependent Earth,
what Yang polycultured strength
and Yintegral multicultured his/her-storic flow,
have wisely brought RightWing and LeftWing
naturally and spiritually unstoned together

Aware of this restorative justice potential
perennially recreative,
and yet RightWing inconvenient,
Truth

We have always gathered better
to get stoned re-ligion wisdom
than to religiously throw stones.

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Christian Conversion

I am familiar
with evangelical conversions
understood as moving away from sinner,
unredeemed heathen,
unenlightened addiction to evil,
demonically disempowered
reprobate status
moving toward regenerative winner status
saved by the blood of the Lamb.

This traditional way of processing
progressive
therapeutic conversion
is a change through predation,
colonization,
of one orthodox religious template
for all Other incorrect cultural defects.

To the contrary, the Conversion Experience
of bioregions,
of ecosystems,
of healthy v pathological subclimates
of polycultural resilience
rather than monocultural predation,

These systemic Conversions
are more akin to,
part of,
reconnecting with
win/win creolization of
two or more complex cultures,
transubstantiating integrity,
polypathic metaphoric metamorphosis
of win/lose competitive conversions
through predation
co-redeemed into win/win cooperative conversion experiences
through compassionate prayer,
mutual appreciation,
interfaith synergetic dialogue

Less debate about cultural differences,
dogmatic contrasts,
however left-brain dominantly important,

And more dialogue about multicultural comparisons,
orthodox eco-systemic healthy faith values,
win/lose suboptimizing values,
lose/lose actively despairing degenerative pathological disvalues
of assuming victorious predation
speaks of conversion
through HolySpirit-Messianic-Bodhisattva
healthy fruit
than does integral
interfaith
multiculturing compassion
polyculturally intelligent win/win discussion,
cooperative wisdom discernment
of democratically healthy win/win standards
for spiritually healthy conversion experiences
of interdependent individuals,
egosystems
thinking win/win ecosystemically
with the wisdom
of a MotherTree
regeneratively converting MotherEarth

Longing for humane species commitment
to climate health,
public body/mind nondualistic health,
personal win/win reconversion
empowering healthiest
enlightening interfaith community wealth.

Conversion can mean win/lose colonization
and evangelizing missions of cultural predation.
But,
I find little gospel support
for capitalistically
and patriarchally
and LeftBrain dominantly
settling for anything less
than baptism through the living HolySpirit
creolization process
into cooperative win/win regenerate mind/body
spirit/nature
bilateral
binomial
bicameral
Right/Left ongoing co-empathic conversions.

Healthy and Peaceful Earth mediates,
facilitates,
ecosystemically and organically witnesses,
mentors co-passionate multicultural conversions
away from sectarian straight white patriarchal
capital competitive win/lose
anthropomorphically privileged
misanthropic lose/lose diversions
away from win/win healthy ecosystemic
theo-logical Earth-converting
ecotherapeutic win/win interfaith
Earth Restorative Justice and Peace
through 20/20 revolutionary conversion experiences.

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Empowering Memories

As I age into merely spiritual memories
of those sadly/gladly left behind
in less/more egocentrically embodied forms

Co-acclimating/aggressing functions
feel more like contrasting/constrained flows
of positive/negative
sensory-neural energy,
communication systems,
nutrition/digestion networks
of regenerating/degenerating
natural/spiritualized memory.

It does seem
our spiritual advisors
lesson-givers
teachers
scripture narratives
stories
preachers
communities
economies
directors
democracies
theocracies
leaders feature
pathologies of heart
and mind
and body

Far more than how to positively mentor
healthily mediate
faithfully facilitate
co-gravitate spiritual wealth
of wide multicultural resonance

EcoPolitical creolization
and deep polyculturing resilient
healthy democratic
win/win GoldenRule co-governing non-kleptocracies

Some legally incorporated,
others more naturally
individually
egocentrically corporal
organic
physically organismic
holistic win/win organizations,

Not quite so lapsed
into emergent spiritual wisdom
of nature/spirit bilateral
left/right-hemisphere bicameral
yang/yin binomial
healthy balance re-consideration
re-membering
re-generational co-passions,

Co-arising dipolar co-acclimations
with and for and to
those suffering not wins as Loss
and/or Pain
around,
and now within, climate polyculturing us
this emergent eco-organic
spiritually self/other-empowering We.

I blame disorganized
apartheid,
separatist,
elitist,
supremely dissonant
wounded
lost
painful religious and atheistic fundamentalism,
patriarchalism
capitalism
left-brain denominationalism,
nationalism
apartheidism
dogmatism
racism
sexism

LeftBrain dominant incorporated thinking,
severing All from Nothing,
EitherConservative from OrLiberal,
Win from Lose
disconnecting wealthiest Win with Win,
Both with And,
Contrast differences with Compare synergies,
Cause with Effect with ReCause with PreCause
because we bicamerally can
and must
and will remember compassion
as healthy win/win communication systems

Naturally disconnecting
spiritually reconnecting
wealthiest co-investment histories
of spiritual
multicultural
and basic in-house
democratically communicating
organic
holistic health.

My own emerging natural/spiritual nondualistic experience,
eco/theo-logical bicameral systemic
reflections,
restorations re-imaging healthiest climax memories,
ego/eco-communion liberating images
imaginations
of pleasure and Paradise win/wins,

Work/play dreamscapes,
DreamCatchers of spiritual health
reincarnating ecofeminist wealthy active hope

For restoring Earth’s blue/green revolutionary peace,
regenerative justice
grown more sensory/sexually strong,
more robust
eco-empowering
ego-enlightening

Widening
stretching
deepening
deep ending
into more win-natural/win-spiritual balance

Pre-verbal polyphonic potential intention
spiritually polypathic felt,

Non-violently thought
spirit felt compassion,

Non-pathologically reasoned
healthy passions,

NonLoser win or lose
right-hemisphere intelligence
bright,
both/and cooperatively democratic
multilateral power sharing
light

NonPhysical pain focused,
NonCompetitive game realized,
NonAnthropocentrically privileged
spiritual health reflections
longings
belongings

On Earth’s universal revolving
life systemic
support history
of multiculturing global intelligence.

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Losses and Gains

I asked the Christian evangelical
proudly wearing his Make America Great Again
red golfing cap:

What day to day spiritual experience
of grace
health
humane relationships
rich in joy
well-being
regenerativity
integrity
would you lose
if God the Father of omnipotent Love

Turns out to also be
Earth,
the Mother of Holy
Holonic
Holistic GreenPeace Spirit?

As Eden on restored Earth
predicted
and iconic redemption
experienced
by Jesus of Nazareth’s fertile
multicultural Kingdom already at hand
during and after baptism
by immersion
in a sluggish,
yet still flowing,
still nurturing,
still communing Jordan River
of active hope
in faith,
for omnipotent energetic love.

I’m still waiting for his answer
about what he would thereby lose.

Although I suspect it might have something to do with loss
of egocentric confidence
in StraightWhiteMale
LeftBrain-dominant
privileged miseducation
segregation
individualized competitions
for earning salvation

From fear of ego’s mortal eternal suffering,
where fear of lonely timeless Hell
of painful neuropsychological isolation
outdistances communion
for eternal multicultural inclusion,
regenerative social and cultural health potential
already at hand,

Cooperative,
democratic
eco-political
restoring justice to green peace climates
of nonviolence
for WholeEarth global interfaith cultures,

Including secular/sacred
dialogical
dipolar
depolarizing integrity.

When I asked him
what he might gain
from Earth EcoFeminist Gaian principles
of synergetic health compassion,
he was equally silent

But, I saw a glimmer
turn to gleam
restoring internal sense of saint and sinner solidarity
with eternal longings to return
to ecosystemic opulence

To eco-politically reweave,
to globally restore,
to resume,
to make Earth’s healthiest nutritional wealth
great nonviolent communication
and ecology
and theology
again.

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Disempowering Systems

Systemic racism
is a social/cultural pattern
of racial prejudice
originating within individuals
and their anecdotal experiences
and lack of multiculturally enriching discernment

Shedding light,
and shredding dark,
power analysis,
political and economic,
on patterns of white privileged events
unveils systemic patterns of win/lose empowered privilege
and disempowering lose/lose prejudices,
race and male and heterosexual privileged
anthropocentric unredeeming
lack of communication
events.

Take, for example,
a power analysis of John 3:16:

For God so loved the world [Earth and EarthCreatures]
That He gave His only begotten Son [patriarchal frame]
So that whosoever believes in Him
Shall not perish
But have eternal life.

Literalist
Fundamentalist
Conservative
Evangelical Christians
(should this prove not to be a complex oxymoron)
have supplanted believing in God’s radically interdependent EarthLove
(first phrase)
with doctrinal belief in Jesus of Nazareth
as God’s only begotten, privileged
humane/divine hybrid Son of
StraightWesternWhiteMale
LeftBrain Dominant
Military-Industrialized
Retributive Win/Lose Judging God.

This substitution of belief
in the privileged sacred status
of a Jewish male Teacher
and Prophet,
sharing his potentially viral experience
of Jewish AbbaCreator
as win/win power of universal multiculturing
regenerative Love,
is a culturally profound
early straight white western
(not particularly eastern nature/spirit nondualistic)
privileged-prejudicial moment
of defining God’s economic
and politically empowering grace
in troubling oppositional terms:

First phrase, Regenerative Source is universal Love,
and, third phrase,
Regenerative Source is historically-culturally,
systemically racist.

If, to be orthodox and effectively Christian
is to be spiritually privileged,
then those not born into evangelical Christian homes,
King James Bible reading communities,
Western dominating cultures
are disproportionately
and systematically
and historically under privileged,
disempowered
unredeemed
with less win/win graced
direct experience of Love
Light
Word internal/external
ego-refining/ecopolitical-defining win/win
potential spiritual/natural life optimizers.

Jesus of Nazareth’s prime experiential teaching,
story telling
prophetic “God is multiculturing universal win/win Love”
not revengeful monoculturing
win/lose systemic
racist Judge

Is not resonantly heard,
not resiliently felt,
neither tasted nor seen
through eyes and ears,
hands and heart,
mouth and nose
of straight white male privilege

Too leftbrain dominant
to divinely know
and nondualistically respect
appreciate
primacy of empowering cooperative green/blue Love experience
over disempowering competitive redblooded Lust
for theologically dogmatic unecological lack of relationship,
anthropocentric
xenophobic
narcissistic
individualistic ego-salvific power

To claim sacred wealth of life
for yourself and only your Tribe
by denying truths of sacred/secular empowerment
through win/win cooperative everyday experience
of communion
throughout all EarthTribes

Divine/humane
right/left
yin/yang
green/red
nonviolent communicating Light
of ChristMass Love
Words
Stories of CoRedemption

Democratic,
not autocratic,
experiences both ecologically natural
and theologically spiritual;

Devoid
Cleansed
Wiped Clean of racist,
straight male dominant,
leftbrain misculturing
unhealthy
unwealthy supremacy.

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Openness

“Energy fields extend to infinity.
Consequently they are open–
not a little bit open,
not sometimes open,
but continuously open.
The long-established view of the universe as an entropic,
closed system is rapidly losing ground.
Proposals that living systems were open systems
led Von Bertalanffy to postulate
that living systems manifested negative entropy.
Evidence has continued to accumulate in support of a universe
of open systems.
The closed-system model of the universe
is contradicted
and obsolescence of such concepts as steady-state,
adaptation,
equilibrium and the like
is made explicit.”
Martha Rogers, p 227, in “Martha E. Rogers: Her Life and Her Work, edited by Violet M. Malinski and Elizabeth Ann Manhart Barrett

Power fields
and WorldView frames
extend associations
to omnipresent
sacred,
multigenerational,
matriarchally continuous lifelines
of humane organic infinity.

Consequently,
these frames are spiritually
multiculturally
metaphysically open
NonZero Sum
irrational RightHemisphere artistically
aesthetically full-spectral,
interdependent,
open,
and waiting to revolutionarily re-open,
bilaterally,
bicamerally,
binomially.

Not a little bit holistic and open,
not just discontinuously patriarchal
evolving one isolated ego-lifetime open,
but omnipotently
continuously
divinely cooperative,
regenerative green/blue globally,
empowering,
healthy-wealthy open.

The long leftbrain-establishment view
of Green/Blue Living but Static
2-dimensional EarthMap
as an entropic,
closed energy field system
is ecologically
rapidly losing 20/20
enclosed balance yet open,
inhaling yet exhaling,
grasping yet distracting
sensory bilateral co-arising ground.

Proposals that living systems
are also open sacred metaphysical systems
led Von Bertalanffy
to bicamerally postulate
this Principle of Taoist Green Reversion,
away from too much Red,
so that healthy living EarthTribe systems
manifest not negative Green syntropy,

In some mystical metaphorical health-wealth way,
dark red unsafe
neurological secularized death
is in continuous appositional
bicameral psychological relationship
with green empowered sacred healthy life

Spiraling Ultra-NonViolet revolutionary evidence
has continued to win/win accumulate
in support of a revolving green/blue healthy Earth
of bilateral space/time
open communing systems.

The closed orthodox fundamentalist
capital/patriarchal rationalist
desecrating
sacrilegious
morally contentious
and retributively judicious
mapping and entrapping model

Of this health/wealthing EarthView
is ecologically/theologically
robustly predicted,

Our green/blue experience
of reverse
reweaving open
re-cooperative
re-storative
redemptive win/win concepts
such as
not always win/lose
steady growth-state economics,
not necessarily win/lose political power
adaptation
against cooperative co-acclimation,

Re-turning divine/humane unchanging climate equilibrium
to not inhumane
green-blue restoring peace
as Earth Justice
open multiculturing noncrimes
of healthy democratic passion.

To LeftBrain explicitly green/blue life
openly reiterating

The closed leftbrain dominant
capitalistic win/lose
and patriarchal v matriarchal
yang v yin
closed polarized system
Red-strength v Green/Blue-flowing
flowering wisdom
is Left/Right neurobiologically contradicted
and ecological/theological obsolescence
of such leftbrain straight white male privileged
steady-state enlightenment,
self-empowering closed system maladaptation,
divine v humane dissonant disequilibrium
and the metaphysical closed in unintellectual life
is made rightbrain interdependently Open

Green/Blue holistic living Earthtribal indigenous System
explicit

For leftbrain dominant non-violently communicating
listening ears to hear
and 20/20 eyes to revolutionary revise
devise
improvise
surprise
not divine climate
and humane eco-culture demise.

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An Anxiously Anticipated Event

Dear John,

All day
yesterday
I loaded up with a cascading river
of mixed anxiety and anticipation
about what to safely and kindly,
transparently and vulnerably
compassionately, so non-violently, share
communicate;

Which narrative tributaries to choose
within this vast spacetime stream
of choices
directions
felt depressions and erections.

Do you remember
communication theory
framed as Rhetorical Events?

Our initial walk and talk,
eating together,
rather than my refrigerator foraging
brunchtime usual rawfood practice,
is a graced green,
rain giving way to blue, memory for me,
and, I hope, for we
these sacred walking
secular talking
people.

Successful rhetorical events,
as I recall,
and have co-passionately experienced
with ecstatic thrills
and mysterious chills of anticipation,
wanting more and more
cascading throughout my too isolated life,

Are cooperatively held spaces
resonant and verbal and non-verbal places
longing to become resilient
as ultra-violet light
in phosphorescent mystical night,
bright
and warm
without ballistic fright,
inviting sounds of sight.

So I drove home
basking in such rich
potentially resilient
transparent and vulnerable
articulate yet impassioned
felt experience
confirming all my own ego’s grand theories
about win/win non-violent
Rhetorical compassioning
Events.

My anxieties spoke later
about mutual physical
natural, yet also spiritual,
attraction–
this smell and taste neurological chemistry
of touch exhaling
to co-empathically predict
our romantically felt quality
inhaling integrity’s great resilient passions,
shared loves
communal,
deeply green cooperative,
that rhetorical day
as true and beautiful for us.

It has been thirty years
since my last first date,
with a man who became my unanticipated husband,
partner
spouse
lover
quarreler
critic
listener
emotive voice
co-investor
political ally
communicator
miscommunicator
long-term rhetorical event
cooperative space-holder,
mediator
not really quite green enough
for resonant felt
and thought co-passionate experience
near our end
of cohabitation.

Nearly half my lifetime,
thirty years,
and I feel anxious
I have not yet learned
appropriate new old person rules
of transparency
and vulnerability
to be clear
and kind,
compassionately clear
about my natural/spiritual
physical/metaphysical attractions,
anticipations,
anxieties.

When I last dated
a gay encounter of the first kind
either ended nakedly together
or with a scheduled second date
with a bed
or a sling
or a deserted moonlit beach
front and center on our anticipated menu

Or ended in disaster,
no connection,
no further warm and resonant communication,
no passing green light Go!

I did not “date”
men who lived so very far away,
out of state,
unless one of us was planning to relocate
or both of us were anticipating
an extremely resonant
one hot night stand
lying down together,
exploring all the vertical
and horizontal dances
we could imagine ever wishing we had done
to further gather
future’s warm anticipations.

I am anxious
because I do not want to disappoint you
or me
about our embodied
non-verbal communication
and passion together.

My own nakedness
lies nowhere near my vulnerable
and transparent self-esteem
as was the case
when I last dated
and I do not know
what to do
and not do
with that.

I have no mentors,
no wise teachers,
no therapeutic facilitators,
no sex therapist
to talk and touch me through
this anxiety.

But, I do anticipate
an unfortunate comparison
I met on our silvered dating site
the same day I first heard you
connect climate pathological effects
with capitalistic causes,
which immediately won my curiosity
to know
just how deeply knowing
we might go
together,
and not apart.

I met another singer
another meditator
another deeply
physically connected
to Taoist sensory communication
yangly verbal and yin non-verbal,

More physically incarnated
and less metaphysically abstract
less theoretical
merely rhetorical
more mature
aged
connected like wine with cheese
and re-connected
than my own experience
in how to mutually
yet maturely
please.

Last evening we talked.
His voice sings and rings,
warmly chills and quietly thrills.

And, he is closer.
Teaches dance.
We anticipate learning together
how to tango horizontally
without creating an entangled mess
at our ripe old average age
of 69

Which,
when I last dated
was a cooperatively rhetorical
erotic position
and not an age
which we sensually anticipated
without great anxiety
about resilience
of sensual resonance.

For me,
this need not be a win or lose,
either-or situation.
Even less so
if I thought the two of you
would appreciate each other
in this partner searching
lifeline rivered
shivered way,
but that is not what I would anticipate
either of you would say.

So, that is what is on my mind
and heart
and root chakras
this another deep green
ego-centering
and ecosystemic rhetorical day.

Said my vertical horizontal way,
physical and metaphysical
natural and spiritual
secular and sacred
love with you
and hell to pay,
anxiously anticipating
your kind
non-maligned
response.

Standard