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Here Is My Ecological Faith

Here is my faith
rooted in experience
yet to flower in things unseen,
relationships unfelt,
communications not yet heard,
tasted and spit out;
Savored

When I touch another life’s body
with kindness
I am thereby touched in return
by remediation,
immediate
intimate compassion,
CoPassion

Perhaps this is also innocently true
of touching minds
with kind and curious intent,
compassionate purpose,

But,
that is about my active hope,
already extending out
further family projections
from healing inside faith experience
that reemerges faith healing imaged future,
fluidly resonant
and co-presently resilient.

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Uncategorized

Unbright Intellectual Snobbery

When I was in grade school
I was, already,
on my leftbrain dominant path
toward acting the intellectual snob.

This, in large part
my best offense,
my trump card, sadly,
against marginalizing prejudice
of our community’s non-farmer economic
and political Elite;

The few kids
whose parents went to college
and/or inherited some above-the-norm property
business, preferably not agribusiness,
professional service assets
even the most straight white male
would appreciate
like doctors
and nursing wives,
two income households
with academic bright credentials.

By the time I reached high school
being on, or at least within sight of,
the top of my class,
and president of as much political property as possible,
or at least vice-president,
became my trump card
for getting out of rural SWM oppression,
depression,
suppression,

Where I was not safe,
back in the 1960s rural midwest,
and I could never possibly matter,
become one of the local community’s Elite,
a pillar of church and state
while overcoming the guilt and shame
of being the queer son
of a below median income family farmer.

Intellectual snobbery
was my leftbrain overwhelming defense
against rightbrain amygdala loneliness,
extreme social-sexual isolation,
drowning in cortisol-baptized self-stigmatization.

Leftbrain dominant academic skills
were my best offense
for succeeding out in urban
urbane
multicultural
cosmopolitan
singing and dancing
democratically compassionate
win/win feeling and acting society.

The only healthy society
that mattered;
where I could possibly matter,
and become transparent
and vulnerable
and connected
and safe.

That defensive snobbery
still, in 2020 hindsight,
lives in my deepest closet,
longing for warmer
more inclusive acceptance,
invitation,
compassion

For right brain radical interdependence
with those of us,
regardless of income
and lack thereof,
regardless of self empowerment
and lack thereof,
capable of engaging
and energizing this tragic comedy
of small staged love lives,

Rural and urbane
Healthy and wealthy
Ego and eco-therapeutic
Left and right brained
Smart and warmly co-passionate
Proud and humble

Divinely humane
playing more win/win trump cards
through more cooperative co-investment.

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Uncategorized

New Year’s Recycling Journey

Stepping into a new year,
especially one calling for 20/20 revision
reform
not retribution for anger’s past
but restoration of WinLeft/WinRight bicameral sanctuary,

Stepping into a new ZeroZone Asylum,
positive deviance from leftbrain competitions
deductive,
predicting reductive,
business as usual.

Positive left/right harmonic deviance
invites cooperative resistance
against a shared predative,
light-skinned,
patriarchal,
hopelessly heterosexual privileged enemy
of all the non-elite people
emerging from leftbrain dominant climates
of EarthTribe colonization,
extraction of life,
enslaving monopolization of body-power,
abuse,
disembodied neglect,

Shared asylum against negative lose/lose nihilism,
fake elitist monotheistic Rapture,

Against positive win/win passion,
compassionate communication,
ego/eco left/right yang/yin bicameral therapy.

Stepping into this NewYear ZeroZone
can be yet another
in an undistinguished
degenerative lose/lose series,

Lacking 20/20 sensory-neural
bilateral
binomial
polypathic/polyphonic
co-passioning
revolutionary revision,
restoring peace,
Earth Climate Justice,
inside as outside,
inspiration as exhalation
enlightening as empowering
not-not yin as positive intersectional yang
exponential 0 as multiculturing 1
incoming wealth herstory as outgoing polyculturing health

Ecofeminist 2020
predicting trimtab strategic
global health possibility
of a robust 2121
compassionate
cooperative wealth-climaxing
EarthSanctuary.

May this win/win celebration game
begin not win/lose degenerating all over again,
but, instead, grab hold of regenerative becoming
NewGreen MultiCultural Asylum.

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Uncategorized

Commanding Solo Performances

It had been a hellish week.

On Monday
my lonely and tired AfricanAmerican husband
told me, as gently as possible,
that what I had hoped was a temporary separation
is to be extended into perpetuity.

This separation had been scheduled to terminate
when my Fetal Alcohol daughter turns eighteen
and can move into a new, more therapeutically endowed, home
not our non-group home
which could not feel like a private home to him
and to a more peacefully vulnerable me.

He told me his autonomy of residential sight
and sound
and smell,
temperature and feel,
thought and absence of forced transparent thought,
has grown ever more compelling for him,

Like a new life system
organically emerging from calcified minerals
mixed with melted wet.

This permanent separation,
less about not wanting to share a roof and walls
and multicultural floors
and more about wanting a more private
monotheistic habitat.

I had been working on my adopted daughter’s emergency group home application;
Her eighteenth, and first qualifying, birthday was Friday
of this same hellish week
filled with demands,
as usual,
but more so,
more self-prophetically entitled now;

A “big [supremely self-disempowering] girl”
as multiply messaged from school
and therapists
and family,
jonesing to live with submissive peers
who will best be lesser care receivers
as she intends to appropriate all care giving staff,

Demanding preferred foods,
and music
and stories
and dance,
and diaper change
and bed
and bath times
ignoring needs of lesser beings;

Like living with a constantly ticked off Gaia
showing us who’s our jealous Boss
in response to our climate endangering ways
of patriarchal colonization
disrespecting matriarchal communion,
ecological creolization.

Demanding routines she and I have evolved
since she was five,
unable to see up,
only downstream,
unable to hear well,
unable to speak in consonants
articulate enough to defy caregiver ignorance,
lack of subservient cooperation,
submission to her aggressively iron will,
triggering every slaveholder
property owner
reactionary nerve in my husband’s long-term
matriarchal-limned
unnerved memory.

Our more cooperative and trust-building relationship
soon took care of Gaia’s communication problems
but we created, thereby,
a princess entitled ‘I win so you lose’ monster
of immediate and really loud
NEED!

Yet, now that she is maturing to leave this nest,
how much do I need her
to keep me safely home at night
and off the larger terrifying climate stage
of degenerating ecopolitical performance?

On the following Sunday morning,
I was to sing “Let Your Little Light Shine”
a less popular spiritual,
and at least not unnatural,
gospel message;

A sung prayer from enslaved history,
humiliating origins surviving valleys of vulnerable despair
by holding up
and out
dim fading lights of hope,
sometimes accessible from other enslaved properties
with more resilient hope in green and brown and black
communion.

On Saturday night
my heart spoke of grief
lost in deep dark valleys
isolated
abandoned
down-sized
empty-nested
shallow-chested
ancient old person despair,

And my lungs sagged
pushing against narrow edges of freezing panic

Terror about forgetting left-brain words
and reminders of past sung and danced solo performances
not nearly as fun
enriching
fulfilling
health wealthy
as past group participation
in full-nested harmony
synergy
resonance
regenerativity
sacred communions spiritual
while naturally co-present

Green
and brown
and black,
ultra-nonviolet
and transparently clear.

On Sunday morning,
after earning a strategically planned
full night’s rest,
I felt much worse

Unable to imagine leaving my sanctuary
much less singing
much less performing
a song longing for the Lord
to shine even the faintest ray of hope
down into this valley of well-earned despair,

A grey climate of hopelessness,
nihilistic thoughts,
narcissistic preoccupations
trapped in a shrinking fragile egocentrism.

I took an anti-depressant
which got me to the church on time
but now feeling anxiously disembodied
within my own Beloved Sanctuary
too universally white
straight
and too removed from outside green
and family brown
and EarthTribe Native black resonant voices,
fragrances,
touch,
tasting and seeing.

I could not remember words,
or think of alternative reasonable sounds,
could not find my opening pitch,
felt deserted by a cappella
absence of accompaniment,
by a choir relegated to background support services
rather than foreground cooperative resonance
of care giving
co-passioning care receiving.

But, there was something else
bad,
REALLY bad,
a repugnance that stayed with me
through rehearsal,
through first
and then final performance
and on through the return home
after a technical tepid success
lacking the resonance of producing music
transcending rhythm and pitch and lyrics
demanding better held and managed light systems
for my self-isolating despair

Afraid of drowning
in this internal river valley.

Although not sure what happened Sunday night,
I awoke next morning to emotional fragility,
again
to fears of too much aloneness, loneliness,
worries about ageing in a place not quiet enough
from road rage
and too demanding of soil
and water
and energy stewardship,
warm accompaniment,
propriety of grace,
cooperative well-being.

What was different, on this reawakening,
was recognizing my,
and our,
monocultural misappropriation,
supremacist ideation
of “Let your little light shine”
as if we are, and I am,
the Lord’s great solo hope
for all the autonomous
disconnected
apartheid
indigenous nature/spirit
EarthTribe life-systems
of healthy care giving/receiving
singing and dancing in revolving circles
of gospel fire,

Choired resonantly together
in active shared home harmonies,
extending families back through enslaved ancestors
reminding an AfroCentric Lord
this light begins
from hope sung dance together
with multiculturally resonant intelligence

Leaving no one behind
trying to soulfully enlighten
my darkest valley of despair.

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Uncategorized

2020 ReWeaving Vision

Speaking With NonBully VoiceBoxes

Dissociative injustice,
like racist slurs and disinvestments,
retributive oppression
for not being SWM enough,
has ecological roots
in LeftBrain anthro/ego-centered fruit
of fragile disconnected autonomy,
against all competing odds
still struggling to win
against all other elitist competitors
for greatest capital gains
over losses.

Here,
in RightWing militarized marching squares,
LeftBrain monocultural EitherNature/OrSpirit dualisms
place anthropocentric narcissists
at the SWM Western apex
of a cognitive/emotive intelligence pyramid,
made in Father God’s whitest image,

Privileging SWMs over not-SWM also-rans,
and championing all loyal
trustworthy
humane Earth residents
as endemic only to USA
RedWhiteBlue
PatrioticLoyalTrue nationalists
jingoists
immorally and anti-redemptively overruling
the dark remainder
of ecofeminist systemically entrained
bonded
compassionate
warm and wet EarthWomb-inspired consciousness;

Lacking the LeftBrain verbal communication obsession
to imagine only the idea of God
as Other than self-identifying Gaian nurture presence,
health advocate
true defender of nutritional wealth.

Reflected in each holy living system,
a co-passioned win/win expression of,
and participation in,
this ongoing Great Transformation
of Gaia’s rebirth into indigenous LeftBrain consciousness
of RightBrain’s interdependent faces
resisting Earth HealthLoss
and mortal EgoLoss,

Gaia’s sacredly immanent warmth
required to feel safely connected
to cognitive/affective resonance
with Earth’s secular/sacred balancing climates
of yesterday,
and tomorrow.

With that said,
we warmly invite ourselves to ask:

How has my own eco/theo-logical
and anti-logical dialogue
with co-emergent God/MotherEarth relationship
entrained
double-bonded
constrained within internal/external holy communion
articulating global ecosystemic metaphors
favoring all communicating healthy,
nurturing,
nutritious
warm co-presence?

Yet, how do we still struggle with win/win active hope
left/right
west/east
north/south challenges, appositional
(both/and, not only either/or oppositional),
yang/yin competitions?

In this LeftBrain dominant RightWing USA
or the HighWay monoculture,
insufficiently responsive
to our ego and environmental health crises
overpopulating and carbon-burning Gaia’s former wealthy climate,
now facing self-effacing lose/lose trend-analysis
without healthy communication
of cognitive and emotive democratic co-authorizing resonance
today.

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Uncategorized

GrandMother Moses

I was minding our own ancient business,
making maple and brown sugar oatmeal
for my constantly
and instantly
devouring daughter,
when GrandMother Moses
of Poetic Narrative
broke into my day:

frankly, I didn’t even know She could speak

Racism and Patriarchalism
are the inside Angry
and outside Terrified voices
perpetuating retributive injustice
and capital-value monopolistic
monocultural
monotheistic
win/lose competitive models
of Left v Right,
West v East,
North v South
Ego v EcoHabitat

VerbalMind v NonVerbalEmbodied
multiculturing intelligence
with ego/eco-cooperative therapeutic intent.

Then the kettle
began to whistle
a just-in-time
win/win
ecopolitical reminder
we can choose to compare
and contrast
across a spectrum
of win/lose
through lose/lose
toward appositional co-arising win/win
with sufficient
just-right/left
out/in hot water
and maple with brown sugar oatmeal
to feed our constantly
instantly hungry
potential EarthMothers.

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Taoist Covenants

May supreme Force
become You.

How is whiteness
like straightness?
she asked

And how is maleness
like left-brain dominance?
he responded.

It seems,
to usually curious
and always ancient
right with left dipolar ecofeminist Us,

Contracts are secular agreements
designed to improve mutual odds
of losing less value
as invested across degenerating time.

While Covenants
may be all that contractual business,
But also sacred cooperative accompaniments
designed to improve warm solidarity
of synergetically winning optimal values
empowering We,

Where
and when
PolyNomial We
equals interdependent PolyCultural Us.

Contracts hold ZeroZone transparent space for win/lose,
positive/negative
good/bad
life/death oppositional evolutionary/devolutionary
EarthInvestment/Divestment Trends

While Covenants expect overwhelming win/win opportunities
can be multiculturally rediscovered
redeemed through appositional dipolarities
co-arising Yang/Yin
EarthTrend egoLeft/ecoRight
cooperatively-held sacrifices,

Yang, past-informed
yet Yin, future-exforming flow out,

Voice inhaled as reverse un-versed exhaled,
Future as re-imaged response to win/lose
conversion into win/win freedom of imagination,
playing and gaming co-invested compassion,
fluid strength migrations,
polyphonic paths of rediscovery
into rapture’s sacred consciousness
climaxing polycultural out/in-comes,
where all values
are intrinsically positive
safe
healthy.

We more typically contract
to cooperatively resist
against a shared enemy
alien impoverished multiplication
diminishment long-division,
threat against long-term Elite LeftBrain resilience
within a resonant agreement of mutual asylum,
our win/lose silo of internal/external apartheid,
Climates communicating in and outside.

Sometimes
we creolize the colors and climates
of symphonic sacred sanctuaries
through cooperative invitation
within a safe and healthy multicultural-valuing space
relationship
vunerable communication of felt and thought co-passions,
Left with Right bicameral communions,
universally egalitarian salvation
through unitarian intersectional passions
for listening
noticing positive and negative climates
attitudes
verbalizations
embodied right-brain feelings
disembodied left-brain deductive/reductive thoughts

Longing for GoldenRule ecopolitical sanctuary,
green,
brown and black and tan and cream and white,
blue and red,
ultra-nonviolent integral compassion.

Asylums
do not challenge retributive justice norms
and values.
Except as also Sanctuaries, integral
sacred
multiculturally resilient
can restore win/win peace and justice models
of compassionate communication,

Especially as inspired by this post-millennial crisis
of Climate Fragility
fragmentation
degenerative trends of devolution,
now first seen and heard
felt and thought and touched
with 2020 pre-vision
provision,
safety,
nurture,
nutrition,
health-wealth.

How is whiteness
like straightness?
she, fragile, asked,

And how is maleness
like left-brain dominance?
he, fragmented, responded.

May Earth’s ancient Source
be with Us.

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