Tag Archives: fear

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Outrageous Heresies Reconsidered

Imagine that process theologies
are theories about the evolution of creation stories
in which the “begat” chronology
of god v man,
is reversed to Mother Earth,
then xman/yywoman,
then divine-humane gods and goddesses of ecotherapy.

EcoCentric Woman gives RNA embryonic enculturation to men and women,
as anthrocentric language and culture
gives birth to creator gods and goddesses,
made in our own potentially loving
political and economic healthy cooperative multicultural transgenerational image.

What if yin-agape
is the reverse side of yang-eros,
so agapic interior political and economic nurturing relationships
of yin-anima
confluently midway co-optimize
during ecoconscious bicameral moments
of erotic fertile vitality
of Yang’s transactional sustenance, reiteration,
revolving sweet dynamics of full-body-sensory
(0) RightNow ego-conscious timelessness.

Imagine if we re-imaged the god of ego-political
and eco-normic cooperative trust
as Moose Medicine
and socioeconomic polypathic empathy
as goddess-muse of wise Owl Medicine.

What if false gods
were always, and within every culture, gods of fear
rather than creative goddesses and gods
of healthy nurturing love and compassion?
Would orthodox fundamentalists,
angrily mistrusting other fearfully inferior paths,
and terrorists of fear exploitation,
growing hypnotic addiction to LoseLose passions
and ego-violence,
within any metaphysically dark teleological belief system,
Tree of Death v Life Revelation Story,
become both unhealthy invocational evangelists and idol worshipers?

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What You Take

What we take
without asking first,
thanking second,
what is rightfully our property,
our valuables,
our commodities and loves.

Yet we also take
what we are too ashamed to ask for,
then thank
for receiving selfless hand to open hand,
or hate for selfish lack of yes,
or resent negotiating maybes
or strings attached
further growing far more than your rightful share
of shame.

Shame,
engaging high risk acquisition choices
rather than trusting Earth’s grace,
cooperative evolution of relationships
between those who have
and those who want to live healthier,
without shame and guilt
for addictive needs, attractions,
aversions from others’ shame and guilt offerings,
final intimate NO in face of your hungry appetite
for self-regenerative identity,
less shame,
absence of guilt
for having become who you are,
for not having become
as you more lovingly intended
yet.

When did you start asking first
if I want to make our bed together?
Right after I took your breath away
with I would rather do it myself.
Right before I froze your love
because you don’t do it right.

When we take love without first asking
fertile thanks rebounding back,
we grow shame for guilty needs
squeezing out what healthy love
could otherwise breathe in.

What Ego takes without asking
Eco string attaches
Yang to Yin
Left to Right
to LeftRight EcoConsensousness,
asking Ego’s untimely Death first,
thanking Eco’s revolutionary holonic primal life,
second.

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Politically Correct Wilderness Behaviors

It’s not that I mistrust you,
though sometimes I feel I must distrust
either me or you.

I ambivalently choose both.

So yes, of course, this is about your behaviors
in relationship with mine,
aggressive and impulsive.
Behaviors of addiction
to a child’s malignant sense of humor
and anger as synaptic fear
of loving inalienable powers of freedom
from and to yet further behaviors,
too often aggressive and impulsive,
too seldom shy and demure
as water flowing into deeper gravitas.

Behaviors inspired by Assertiveness Training
on steroids,
mainlining a fix
to fill recent behavioral abstinence,
dreams and fantasies standing in for life,
addiction to action
not counting absent minutes of no behaviors.

Do not remind me
“actions have consequences.”
How is this not a vacuous tautology?
merely repeating response meets stimulus,
nouns regenerate verbs
as subjects pursue objectives.

We do not really need dualistic behaviorists
as much as we crave nondual interpreters of patterns,
feeding those with cooperative intent and, yes, behaviors,
but action, response, as praxis,
walking a cooperative walk
outspeaks talking a competing game of good v. bad behavior.

Hoping for better health next year
while pouring chemicals on our lawns
and down our throats
feels like an ecotherapist observing toxic relationships,
enumerating nutritional transactions,
despising monocultural weedpatch development trends,
counting numbers of deaths v. births through minutes passed,
only to conclude that actions,
like inactions,
have consequences,
and lack thereof.

Behaviors ebb and flow ionic,
nondual bionic,
as communication reiterates iconic truths
of history’s encultured wild addictions
fighting freedoms to develop love,
sometimes more quietly,
freedom from addiction to aggressive impulses
to share this love and fear,
lovely fear,
fearful love,
in life’s conflicted ways,
supported by ecotherapists of active communication
rather than behaviorists of counting
endless predictable cycles
of destimulating response.

It’s not so much I distrust behaviorists as scientists,
though sometimes I mistrust nondual us.

Failure to control global and national mindbody impulses,
resulting in anger-induced responses
and fear-reduced reactions,
is a failure to control climate sustainability
through indulging competitive addictions.
Regeneratively effective healers speak not as mere behaviorists;
co-mentors immerse baptized within this polypath pilgrimage
toward better communicated enlightenment,
sometimes shy and demure,
but always nondual love-management intended,
most certainly always, always kind,
though nature’s kind co-teaching/learning evolution
can feel harsh to swollen Ego’s feet,
walking in habitual circles
toward nowhere good
or true
much less divine.

What good are a child’s safe hands
with no safe mind?
What benefits emerge from kind and loving hands
tagging along with healthy motivated feet
to sustain ecologically balancing mindbody co-operators,
solidarity of EarthTribe’s EcoMentors,
too busy managing our bugs and parasitic ways
to build political economic empires of surfing sand.

I distrust myself
when reduced to behaviorist judge
of self and others.
I trust us to induce healthy communication of love as life,
robust through healthy wealth.

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Sublime Terror

Let’s say I am an anthropocentric terrorist.

What would we be saying?
And isn’t that redundant somehow?
If terrorists are ethnocentric,
does that not also require you to indulge in anthro-centrism?

I suppose
if you are not an Anthro,
then it’s OK not to care the least bit whether you live or die.
Or,
even better,
your death is more attractive to me than your life,
especially if I might eat you,
or at least use your well-blooded body to fertilize my barren soil,
and assume your assets as my own.

But, as long as I’m part of human nature,
you have no negative campaign plans for my more timely demise?

That could depend on whether I am a cultural supremacist,
or just a generic anthro-species elitist,
without further violent prejudices
and control issues,
and lack of ecological respect for Earth’s healthy future.

I suppose terrorists don’t celebrate Earth Day,
or not with any integrity.
But if you were both a cultural and anthro supremacist
and I am of your specific Tribe,
as you cut up your Good v Bad World,
then we’re both good right?
I can go about my business
and you aren’t trying to rain on
or reign over
my parade?

Well, what if I were predisposed to live and let live
within my little Tribe,
but not to tolerate other competitive EgoManiacs?
I guess I would be rather a jealous god
of all I see and smell and touch and covet.

Yes, safest to simply skip egocentrism altogether.

Best for you; because not best for terrorist me.
And what form or function remains for your self-identity?

Without ego dominating consciousness of identity,
replacement candidates might be zero-centrism,
or eco-centrism,
relational-functionalism,
or EarthTribal integrity.
These might remove this primal taproot
for ethnocentric terror,
and fear of kosmic death.

And, if we lived in a culture of interdependent natural systems,
and some say we do,
well,
actually,
I don’t think this is even a matter of scientific dispute;
anyway, if we lived without ethnocentric walls and barriers,
aversions and prejudice,
what about ageism and sexism?

Without ego-identity dominance,
then we all share a polycultural polypath,
a cooperative Commons of interrelationship.
Diversity continues deeply rich and good
within Earth’s promising health
for future generations of all species.

These seem like nested root systems,
from individual ego supremacy
enabling prejudicial elitism
both within AnthroFamily
and between AnthroFamily
and our more inclusive RNA/DNA languaged EarthTribe.

Yes, if we could each just get over our less regenerative selves
and further invest in polypathic cooperative planning and policies,
strategies and logistics,
we could create a shared Earth
in which we would all find it much less risky
to let go of our overly dominant EgoIdentity,
ready to step into a more bicamerally balancing comprehension,
consciousness of EarthTribe’s sacred moment by moment primal identity;
to see and hear and feel without,
love and reiterate and resonate within.

More of an Earth-bonded lover
consuming and producing interdependent contentment,
cooperatively researching contentiousness
for content appropriate to each moment’s full potential.

Well,
at least not an ego-ethno-anthro-centric terrorist.

How about an ego-ethno-anthro integrative terrificist?

I like EarthBound Wonderist.

You sound like an unearthly wanderist.

I suppose that’s better than feeling like an Earth Day terrorist.

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TransRacial Family Wonderings

I wonder what makes you tick.

That quick shadow of a lopsided smile.
When you slap the wall as you step by.
Are these tics
that make you tick somehow?

I know what ticks you off.
Disrespecting your sacred right to become you.
Yet I doubt a Mercedes convertible
would actually respect your healthiest you.

I know what ticks me off about you.
Your relentless denial of anger
and fear
and sadness.
Your unwillingness to forgive yourself
for incarnating merely mortal human nature.

But, what about your unwillingness to forgive our human race
toward racism?
With you born into enslaved heritage,
a long supply of victim roles,
every time anyone sees you,
frames you,
labels you,
historical entrapment of bodies,
by other human mindbodies
contextualizing cultural enslavement of victim-minds,
tics of anger and fear
deep politicized and economized
into creases of dark v. light exterior display.

Does this also tick me off about you?
Do I reasonably expect you,
or anyone,
to forgive an entire species of life
for an oppressive monoculturally supremacist history
of human racial enculturation?

I know what ticks you off about me,
maybe.
My willingness to forgive myself
for my anthro-dominant tics,
habits of language and culture,
disformation of EarthTribal love
and healthy multicultural commitment,
economic solidarity of politically cooperative mutuality.

Because,
to forgive myself of anthro-dominant blindness
seems nondually inseparable
from forgiving us for the absurdity and hypocrisy of racism
and its anti-ecological conclusion of enslaving politically struggling life
by claiming economic ownership of Earth’s Natural/Spiritual Commons.

Ticking on,
rather than ticking off,
reconnects human nature within all EarthTribe RNA/DNA nature.
Distinctions of exterior mindbody polymorphic landscapes
retain polycultural healthfulness,
while our more universally monocultural interior DNA landscapes
of interdependent WinWin ReGeneration Stories
seem to unfold more importantly
more sanely
more rationally
more beautifully and truthfully,
about Golden Rule Solidarity
with political and economic power
to regenerate climatic racing health
with all EarthTribe’s uniting revolution.

What tics me off about me
is failure of multicultural curiosity,
absence of sufficient love
to optimize each relationship and each transaction’s cooperative opportunity
to resonate more deeply,
more ecologically,
more co-arising tribally,
together,
co-habitors of Sun-fueled Earth’s richly diverse,
and much-beloved, community of health,
profoundly mutual regenerative enculturation,
deep listening mutuality of trust-growing education,
Earth-functional in formation,
like evolution of heated organic composting networks
feeding time’s further love revolution.

All that said,
what I know too less about
is what ticks you on.
Probably the about face
of hypocrisy
and ignorance
and greed
and terror
and anthro-centrist racism
that tick you off.

Shadows of lopsided sad smiles.
Slapping walls as we push through.

 

 

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Sensory Overload

What’s left of my mind
when I open my mouth
is the part I could never say.

What’s left of my mind
when you open yours
is a place I hope we can stand.

What’s left of my soul
when you open my eyes
is time soaring through blue brown skies.

What’s left of my soul
when you show me your eyes
is a smile for your own,
send me light.

What s left of my heart
when I open my ears
screams revolting hot climate fear.

What’s left of my heart
if you’ll open yours
is the part I most need to hear.

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In Defense of Ugly

I have nothing against the Cinderellas
of successful society.
Cinderella finds her opportunity for freedom
for love, hopefully,
goes for it,
and it works out for her
and all the Prince Charmings,
wherever they are hiding from my life.
Anyway, all good news
as far as this story goes.

But,
the plight of Ugly StepSisters and Brothers
deserves more compassionate empathy.

True,
they borrow too heavily from Evil StepMother’s playbook,
her monocultural empty-empire building manual
“How to compete for love and wealth
without sufficient loving health”

Still,
StepMom didn’t write this manual alone.
This scripture is as old as lack of requited love itself.

And,
what are the karmic outcomes for these Sisters,
lacking grace
to invite Cinderellas to share their space?
A day,
an hour,
a minute,
a moment devoid of choosing co-empathic possibility,
humor facing absurd lust for power
blind hope to control life
at least enough to absorb awareness of loss
and inevitable dying alone,
results in living too much alone
produces absence of full living-loving,
consumes embryonic integrity of regenerate life,
eats and addicts acids of empire-defensive despair
until nutrients of isolation mature
into degenerately self-disserving Evil StepSpinsters,
monsters spinning tragic runaway addictions
breeding chaotic anger,
fear of our darkness, our mortality terror,
our lack and absence and loss,
hating our own unredeeming suffering.

Ugly StepSisters are stuck
in silos of their own discontent
echoing Evil StepMother’s voice
foolishly empirically demanding satisfaction
with a closed fist
when grace is hers and his to choose
by merely opening her heart
to radically compassionate empathy.

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If I Could Take Time Back

If I could take it back
I would.
When I can bring you back
I will
make our bad word weapons disappear
so your heart and hope need not despair.

If I could repair your strong-heart soul
rich with vital confidence,
you can do this,
you can be this,
you are part of this,
in your way
which is a right way
for us to become with you,
you are doing this,
we are doing this together.

If I can take it back
I do
absorb our black ballistic tones
in minor tragic keys I aimed your way
out of my own fears
I can not love you fierce enough
to remember you must know
this extended Earth-stream has your back,
is your back,
together with you,
part of you,
always voting Yes for mutual wins,
where love embraces our shared hope
and not despair.

If you could catch this hope from me,
instead,
please do.

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Non-Transactional Analysis

Most times
in my family
it’s easiest to avoid stumbling
over any of an ever-growing list of things
it’s not OK to say,
by saying nothing at all
when I cannot think of anything appropriate
on the ever-shortening list of things still OK to talk about.

This mutual solitary confinement does little good.
Somehow we can still hear each other thinking.

Although I would rest easier
if I had learned to think nothing at all,
this feels deeper than mere rest,
further than I am prepared to nest
without this family,
yet

where love is hard and sparse
between continents of despair and angry fear
of silence spreading from words
to thoughts
to feelings fading
to self absent
of other silent echoes.

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Riding the ColorLine Bus

I have typically had the experience
of riding comfortably
on a polycultural,
including multi-generational,
populated bus.

But,
I also have memories
of stepping onto a subway
and not feeling I am welcome
by my fellow-alien riders.
And sometimes this goes OK,
and somewhere the line keeps going out dark
and darker
as I get whiter and
more mutually parasitic,
like haunted and hunting bugs
exploring each other’s piece of the pond,
sniffing fear and anger
about needs and eco-tribal identities,
or total defense against co-empathy.

I have walked into a Louisiana bus stop
with a brown-skinned friend
to soon notice
each of us would have been safer
checking in without knowing each other
than we were checking out as polycultural friends.

I’ve been on a NYC train
with my brown-skinned sons
and felt like they were more welcome
than I,
and other Connecticut way more welcome than they would have been
without me,
profiled by angry women of color
aggressive with those cellphones
aimed toward the police,
about my suspicious white man ways,
what business could I possibly have
with my own sons?

Actually,
now that I think about it,
we often shared this question.
How could we possibly have anything to do with
or without each other?

Whatever it is and has been,
it is ours to do and not do,
others to watch kindly,
if possible,
or not watch
with the courtesy we are learning together,
to continue exploring some other polycultural way.

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