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ComPetitions for DisRegard

Am I unhealthy and unsafe oppressed,
suppressed,
repressed,
depressed?

Not really all that:
competitively impressive,
first through last impression
newsworthy,
enticingly marketable,
profitably commercial,
slickly corporate,
predatively intelligent

More camouflaged
unnoticed and undefined
unrefined
and, frankly, perhaps unstable
because of my environmental circumstances?
as liberal lovers
would have failing to ego-thrive anthrosupremacists
monoculturally privileged
and multiculturally misunderstood
underprivileged
shunned
and Othered

And/Or

Am I health/safety oppressed
because of my personal
bad ecopolitical choices?
like having unprotected sex
instead of going to the mall,

Not really reflecting on
wider and deeper context
like True Faith
and Healthy Happiness
monotheistically delivered
monopolistically endowed
StraightWhiteMale privileged
monoculturing LeftBrain transcendent
AnthroDivine judgment
falling shy
of unconditional regard

As win/lose divinely inspired Capital investments
support PatriarchalGod’s purely patriotic hierarchy
not-so-blindly selecting
who deserves Restorative Win/Win Justice
second
and third
and fourth chances

And who should not
escape Lose/Lose Retributive Dissociation
(repression, suppression, oppression, depression)

A social sympathy so thinly simpering
judicial powers are too comfortably scampering
to throw away personal freedom keys
with polarized dispassionate Disdain

Icing on Earth’s soggy cake
for feeding climate rabid
polarizing
angry
traumatized
lose/lose anthro-victims,
producers and consumers of Othering.

To get out from under-cussed non-classedness,
must I truly choose
between circumstantial ecological Voices
for resonant healthcare,
Or personal theological-felt internal Choices
for resilient wealthshare?

Do natural
polycultural healthcare systems
not co-arise
egowealthy green EarthPeace
spiritual co-investments?

So yes,
I guess,
answers to my oppressed prayers
by our liberal lover circumstances
and my conservational personal
integrating/desecrating
either Saint
or Sinner Choices

Do LeftBrain ignore
Both systemic conserving circumstances
And internal liberating intuitions

RightBrain questioning
interdependently unrecognized
NonVoices.

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Gifted Doorways

“Grief can be a doorway to love.”
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass

Grief can open toward gratitude
As loss can open doors to access gain

As trauma can open hearts
to therapeutic brains

As neglect can foster curious compassion

As depression
can incite active
co-empathic impressions

As double negative sociopathologies
can notice doorways
to positive psychologies

As double-binding
dualdark entropy
can open space
for positive double-binary energy strings
of co-empathic
multiculturing time

As isolating sadness
can open doors
to love’s transcendent gladness.

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When Lonely

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
small and ineffective
against depression
descending like a brain fog bank

In this Elder moment,
I have grown faith
even this chronic dark veil
will withdraw,

Although
perhaps not as sure of when
as tomorrow’s fresh green/blue
worldview dawn

Naturally spirited dark nights
for ego embodied wounds
will recede again

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
rather than healthy
good humored
and safe
with gratitude

For Earth’s panentheistic pleasures
win/win neurosensory practices,
whole-sum dialectical praxis
replete with paradigmatic
revolutionary creolization
musical recreations
across all nations
historically therapeutic
nonviolent communications

When I’m feeling anxious
and lonely,
I am wanting?
Needing what?

To feel healthy
and recognize my situation as factually
and fortunately safe
in some way?
I can say out loud
and take my Verbal Hemisphere dominant self
seriously
rather than speciously,
curiously
rather than furiously.

When I’m lonely
and fear depression’s
disenabling
and unenlightened fog,
am I needing to feel ego-compassion,
eco-systemic expansion?

To see Earth’s restorative health
within
balancing
Sun’s most resiliently revolutionary wealth,
without?

When feeling lonely
what do I most crave?

When feeling traumatized
wounded
internally divided
stuck
dissociated
cognitively/affectively dissonant,

Rather than bilaterally resonant
inside
as outside
deep polycultural revival
and widely
inclusively
multiculturally resilient

Is cooperative
eco-political correctness
what I need
for myself
and with all EarthTribe’s potential
Yang-full Yintegral flow?

Throughout healthy EarthSpace
and wealthy SunRevolving Time,
when feeling lonely,
what does my egobody need,
want,
most crave?

Deepest brave,
courageously transparent,
vulnerably curious way
to stay
safe and healthy
multigenerationally
and multiculturally
and polypathically
Yang monotheistic
and Yin panentheistic,

One full organic ZeroZone
and not, not empty polymathic
entirely
coldly
clinically theoretic.

When feeling anxious
I long for win/win robust anticipation

Gratitude
for a species
too win/lose comfortable
with VerbalHemisphere dominant genocide
and ecocidal ideations

While Elder Hemisphere wisdom
prominently celebrates
Spring rites of Yang fruitfulness
and Yintegral full flow flowering

Truth
and Beauty

Wholeness
and elegant holonic
co-relationships,
co-passion,
ego/eco-systemic Earth
Tribal green integrity

Synergy,
negentropy,
ergodically whole-sum
holonic win/win open
anticipating further enriching
green comforting energy.

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It Is My Impression

I would just like to say
that it is my impression
that longer hair
and other flamboyant affectations
are male dominant immersions
from sadly dull camouflage
into the birthright
and left
of his trans-pangenderal sex.

And I would also like to say
that it is my impression

That wars
and bombs
and other ballistic
bad depressions
are far more likely
as our fast paced race
toward mass extinctions
are killing Earth’s
healthiest climate pace.

And I would further
not like to say
that it is my impression

While predative parasites inhabit
and colonize our landmass
we’re also trash dumping
our oceans
swamping our warnings wasted
polluting our breath
about rabid tendencies
to eat our own young
with sick competitions
in militaristic fun.

And I would just like to say
that it is my sad impression

Apartheid is shunning
and rabidity is plumbing
as life losing EarthTribes
continue succumbing
to Mutually Assured
RightWing Destruction,
MAD rabid bullies blaming
and judging
and shaming
while throwing away care
for all those Others
not part of We,
supremely straight white patriarchal
Me.

I would just like to say
that it is my mad impression

Grown in a sacrileged perspiring image
of JehovahGodYahweh’s
avenging AllahWe
maybe shouldn’t die off
quite so quietly
when Earth’s Great Rapture
smells like ecocide
rabid unraveling decidedly

What Gaia would just like to say
health is Her wealthiest impression

That wars
and bombs
and rabidity
are humanity’s
own RightBrain repressing
LeftBrain dominant depressing
historically hysterical
degenerative stupidity.

Note: With gratitude, and apologies, to the brilliant, creative, musical minds of Hair, the musical.

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Relationships I Hope For

I need clear blue rivers of life
to not always flow away from me,
in some direction
I can’t
or won’t
go right now.

I need green commitments to home
to feel mutually nurturing,
sheltering,
organic,
peaceful,
cooperatively engaging
in nonviolent communion,
co-passionate integrity
of sacred emergent space.

I need the sky
to not always feel grey,
dampening my curious natural spirits.
Instead,
I want to always imagine,
as needed,
as invited,
as if sun summoned,
a radiant blue sky
singing reflections
of invisible spinning stars
on the other
lighter side
of deepest icy winter’s
dense
dull
dark cloud bank
of settled in oppression.

I need rich black soil
to support my feet,
my nose,
my stomach,
green trees,
brightly colored plants
and amazing animated animals
giving back robust excretions,
reparations for past extractions,
borrowed co-investments
infesting EarthTribal
creolizing rich brown humus.

I need my rain-bowed neighbors
to notice
applaud
cheer
celebrate
when two elegantly athletic white swans
sensationally fly upstream
to hang out at our downtown harbor
where we eat
and drink,
rest
and float,
dream
and gloat,
on land
and sandy water,
at least side by side,
if not honking happy
swimming together.

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Less Challenging Dances

I find it easier
and, admittedly, more fun
to climb through tough terrain,
piles of leaves,
loose rocks,
debris,

If
and when
my goal is not to push sweaty through
by force of independently superior will,

But
to dance
with EarthTribe’s diverse
and miraculous co-creations,
sometimes feeling monstrous,

While marching
up our co-arising
complexly gorgeous,

Some might say “athletic”
hill.

And, when more still,
too quiet to dance,
advance,
transport myself
from points A
through fully alphabetized Z

I sit with members
of my inter-connecting choir
to sing my solo
inside dialogues
and depressingly competitive debates

Rituals of stuck
in ambiguous refrains
and angry rounds
of songs I’ve come to care for
yet fear to unload out loud

Taking turns
to catch up
and on
and on
without permitting any advice
ever
regardless of how unilaterally wise,
nor comment
before this circling non-dialogue
completes the time allotted
for this therapeutic day
of deeply listening monologue.

And then my dance
begins inside
as sung by curiosity.

Open ended,
round and full of comprehensive stretches
across all open intersectional space
and sufficient
efficient
inter-connected time
to rhyme our stories
sung in resonance
of universal therapy
for uniting traumas.

But curiosity
does not predict
responses right
and wrong
or either serenely left
or redly fight.

Curiosity draws
us out toward undiscovered
yet felt recovered
resonance
reconfirming choirs of angels
singing Earth’s therapeutic climates
of bravely danced
resilience.

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Punishing Silence

Do we choose silence
not only as a tool
for self-protection
when speaking
our latest chapter stories
feels unsafe?

But also stern silence
may become a weapon
to ward off apathetic enemies
of our straight
hopelessly white
monotheistic
monopolistic
patriarchal capitalist
enemies

Who would not seem to care
to love us
more than we ourselves
can love them
as part of us
right now
left multiculturally
and ecofeminist
silenced here.

As you go
and liberally grow silent,
I may quietly
then traumatically
hear,
as isolating time
sticks ominously by,

“I am not your constant un-masked friend,”
and, thereby,
an ominous self-fulfilling prophecy
emergently erupts
in punishing response,

“I cannot remain
your therapeutic good-times,
vaccinated against silent unease,
healthy
co-empathic musing friend,”

To trust when skies grow silently dark
and night descends
beyond despair
to safely share
stressed Trauma

Itself first felt ray
of restoring justice promise
despite this loss of salvific
passioned hope.

Prosperity losses steal
from future compassion
already while first silenced weapons
dream denying
relentless truths of suffering
lack of healthy opportunity
to speak our fears
out loud
with those who trust
our trembling tears.

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Don’t Shut Me Out

Please don’t be mean to me
Don’t shut me out.

Please be kind to me
Don’t blame me
for all this pain about

Please give me a chance
to dance
to different drums
in dialects dissonant,
unknown.

Bless me with a hug
and not a sharpened shout.

Look me in the eye
and tell me
I am worth your time
in sacred space
here free of fear
in night’s angry doubt-filled place.

Please embrace this dignity,
don’t be mean to me,
Take love’s fearsome risk
in vast integrity;

Please, please don’t shut me out…
Invite me in.

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What’s Up?

How you doin’?

Why are you feeling
how we are doing
here in our unspoken thoughts?

Right now
here
perhaps far from our deep
primordial feeling
reservoir

Of what are your passions
doing?

Abundant warm regarding
compassion

Or cold scarcity of time
to thrive together

Healthy Me
as polypathic
wealthy We

PolyPhonic Muses
deeply engaging
more wellbeing dipolarity
richly co-arising

Rather than merely amusing LeftBrain
choices Win/Lose ZeroSum

We Win
so Other Loses

While entertaining linear cause-effective
traumas
of felt scarcity,
isolation,
anxiety,
dissonance

Pre/Post Traumatic Dissonance
cognitive v affective disempowerment
violent internal reactionary
bipolar
LeftBrain monotheistic
Either DivinelyGood
or HumanNatured FailingSin

Deductive
reductive StraightWhite PatriarchalCapitalist
or Othering
not market ready
for optimizing AnthroSupremacist
predative opportunities

To re-evaluate how we
are LeftBrain and RightBrain
doing

Responding to AnthroSupremacist
while feeling RightBrain
Both/And Win/Win
suppressed/oppressed

Disregarding our shared
Whole Open
yet WarmWombed
Original Sensory/Sexual regenerating system

Integrally
fractally
octavely
dialectically
bilaterally
mindbody
time-spaced
identified/individuated
EgoSelf/EcoOther
overwhelmingly repressed

By what passions
doing?

Win/Lose ZeroSum
survivalist suppressed

Subclimates
and monocultural duress

Deep and wide
anxiously depressed

Sometimes more
and sometimes less.

Thanks for asking.

And how are you
too a mess?

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