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Dear Fragile Communicators

Is passion a warm feeling
or a cold asset?
A uniting vision
or a fragmented virtue?

Or is passion both
mutually held motions
toward
and away from
curious
courageous
contagious active hope
and incapacitating despair?

Is personal knowledge,
consilience of feeling
touch
taste
fragrance
sound
sight
confluence of all sensory receptors?
none dissonantly denied,
co-passionate
when confirmed by even one significant
transparent
vulnerable Other

Or denied,
neglected,
abused,
shot at and down,
defamed,
commodified,
enslaved,
reduced to vacuous utility
of thought
without roots impassioning warm-blooded reality
of feelings.

Could holistically embraced knowledge
grow any virtue less than compassion?

Would wisdom’s wealth
promote dispassionate autonomy,
viciously fragmenting crumbs
of former health?

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Swing Low Sweet Chariot

One way
I know this afrocentric music,
rather than a eurocentric mere performance piece,
is longing for
a sweet and swinging chariot,
rather than a messiah white and male.

I know
this is a cooperative-felt spirit,
and not so much a competition,
because of how
word choices and round rhythms
combine to pitch longing free safe home.

A freestyle journey
to a rich robust and polycultured freedom
of tribes long living
loving Earth’s peace paradise.

A paradise
western civilization
has not sung or danced,
out loudly joyed about
for far too long
without a warm cooperative song

Swinging low and high
in sweetly waving gold
ruled and ratioed
traveler’s chariot,

Coming and going
racing forth and back
to carry us
in and out of home

To freedom’s too long lost,
stolen, kidnapped
while we were dreaming,
singing and dancing with another day
dreaming nights of disembodied free,

Anxiously anticipating,
weary
and yet warmly welcoming.

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Uncategorized

Slow-Cooked Conversion Stories

I was raised in one of those white nationalist churches,
passing itself off as a Christian evangelical Bible church,
where “evangelical” meant fundamental
and “fundamental” meant we did not interpret scripture
but accepted it as God’s literal trans-historical Word
of universal white male dominant
Bible thumping supremacy,
transcendently un-changing like…
like…
like nothing I’ve ever seen or heard
or smelled or tasted

Which is why we call not-Him-or-Her “God”
and not “SuperEgo”
or multicultural “Gaia”

Or anything else.
It turns out “God”
is a bit like not saying Valdemore’s name;
As Yahweh
is more about the ambiguously missing vowels
than their YHWH
YYXY
Either/Or-Both/And
bicameral structure.

Anyway, enough about sacred bisensory ecology.
While at People’s Bible Church
I was told, by all the white heterosexual adults
supporting and educating me
that being born again is not a gradual thing,
like growing into a pubescent body,
but instant,
like convenient oatmeal
or inferior mashed potatoes.

If I could not say,
with one hundred percent persuasion,
that I was reborn in Christ
on May 8, 1964
at 2:53 PM
Eastern Savings Time,
Just as I was originally born
on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.,
much to my mother’s inconvenience–
finished just in time to get home
to our dairy farm
for an unleisurely visit with “The Girls”
during her morning milking parlor gig–
Then the deviant
devilish mark of Satan
still clouds my not so milky white
not straight enough
not truly pure soul.

Such instant and yet resilient grace
felt unlikely to me.

I did not instantly lose hope
for a hot SantaDaddy
sliding down our family chimney
emerging from the family wood-burning furnace,
scorched of unnecessary
and superfluous clothes
to give me all the fruited manly gifts
I have felt so empty without
warm and wet accompaniment,
accomplishment.

Gradually,
over several years of neglecting this Santa myth
as cultural fantasy,
I did not wake up on May 8, 1956,
at 2:53 A.M.
and announce to all those not listening,
“I no longer believe in Santa Claus.”

De-mythification progress
seems to take me
about as long as my left-brain
dominating commodification process
took to grow into queer adolescence,
feeling unsafe,
unwanted,
with a best case possible future
of invisible insignificance,
hidden deeply beneath healthy humility.

Just as it took awhile to comfortably acclimate
to the toothlessness of myth,
It took me all my development years
on into late adolescence
to be sure that I would never safely
or resiliently convert
into a heterosexual.

When we were mutually experimenting grade school boys
during not much sleep overs
I was sure we shared the same destiny–
future heterosexuals,
Mr. Cleavers,
Mr. Smiths
not all too fascinated with Mr. Johnsons.

I didn’t suddenly realize,
“Oops. I failed to convert.”
Maybe I was a late bloomer,
just as some girls get pubes
and teats
and mensies later on
which seemed like more unfair girl pressure
than just sprouting new hair in old moist places
and growing at least somewhat less girlish voices.

Just as there was no May 8, 2:53 P.M.
of any year
when I knew,
“OK, that’s it.
It’s done growing
in both length and width.”
I had no day or night
when I said,
“OK, that’s it.
I choose to be queer”
so I can be the target of hate crimes,
bad jokes,
white Christian heterosexual predators,
bigoted employers,
homophobic police
and teachers
and parents
and siblings,
and preachers

Fully capable of witnessing against me
the exact date, time, and year
they began their life long love affair
with white male Jesus Christ,
straight (presumably) Jewish carpenter’s apprentice,
Son of God and…
and…
God,
who finished creating Earth,
and at least our entire Solar System,
exactly seven days
after He started, on May 8th
at 2:53 A.M.,
year 0000.

I have developed health-considered faith
in win/win progressive processes.
I accept that faith actively hopes in unseen relationships,
unheard communications,
unnoticed actions and reactions.

Still,
I find an always changing
transparent
vulnerable,
courageously curious difference
between left-brain statements of verbal instant faith,
and right/left-brain emerging lifeskill learnings
conversions
healings
redemptively felt economies,
salvific co-relational powers,

And I have trouble believing
that such ubiquitous differences
between slow-grown processive maturation
and imitative instant role-playing
is only accessible to queers,
white, black, brown, red, purple, green, or ultra-violet,
born on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.
much to the inconvenience
of busy heterosexual
pre-millennial dairy farmers.

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Bigger v Deeper Egos

The belief that we become healthier,
healed,
redeemed
through commitment to some power
bigger and higher than just ourselves
follows left-brain dominant teaching,
and appeals to patriarchal thirsts
for robust ego empowerment.

Right-brain prominent feelings
do not disagree with,
dissonantly conflict with,
this bigness metaphor
but monotheistic universalism is not right-brain resonant,
while depth is everything
everywhere
every interconnected potential Time
of radically profound interdependent Identity.

Ego identity
feels emerging from
and returning to
deep ecosystemic nutritional streams
of curiously submerged becoming
co-passionate together
as facets of one boundless
unfathomed ZeroZone
double-bound
bilateral win/win becoming whole
holy
holonic
synergetic
integral.

Big and from-on-high colonization
is never historically resilient,
is always unsustainable,
except when intended
and multiculturally experienced as creolization,
benign largess, invitation
from deep compassionate pockets
of resonantly sacred generosity.

Left-brain either-or thinking
about how to be part of bigger
universally monotheistic Power
can become confluent with right-brain both-and feeling
becoming more deeply etched
ego-identified faith in action
within eco-individuating awareness
of nature’s interaction,
deeply spiritual compassion.

Where left-brain egos long to be part of a higher power,
right-brain win/win prime
ego/eco-relationality
belongs immersed in reconnecting deeper co-passioning rivers
of healthy energy streams
flowing up from enlightening dual-dark Source,
sacred resources,
silent webs of becoming
deep wells of resilient resonant belonging.

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Uncategorized

MotherEarth Economists

EarthMothers are instinctively natural economists
advocating fiscal conservancy
because we cannot sustainably give
beyond nutritional elements we are cooperatively taking in.

EarthMothers know by pregnant experience
what it feels like to slow-grow a robust regenerative economy,

To give birth to healthy robust hope,

To invest in bilateral birthing compassion

To divest of timelessly cherished assets
when our right climate of healthy opportunity
has come, win/win,
for cooperative health remediation

For regenerative selves
and our future sons and daughters

From wet warm wombs
born into MotherEarth’s globally pregnant
eco-political climate remediation,

Health remunerative cooperative co-governance,
co-investing in health wealthy future Time.

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Faith in Politics

Faith in politics is not popular.
Other than optimistic civics teachers
and elected office holders,
faith feels troublesome
when mixed with social empowerment
over Others.

“Others” holds and hides broad diversity:
children
women
people of color
prisoners
slaves
indentured servants
pets
cattle
sheep
farms
plantations
ranches
watersheds
melting ice caps
rising sea levels
polluted air
worn out topsoil
sewage disposal and highway and military systems
industrial production and consumption and devolutions…

Good faith in power
is faithful to power WITH Others,
WITH win/win co-aspirations,
and ego/eco-active non-ZeroSum hope
for health increasing more
openly contagious co-integrity.

Bad faith in power
builds reasons to justify
power against and over Others,
with win/lose evolutionary ZeroSum assumptions
about economic closed entropic-trending systems
currently favoring Western white privilege.

The faith

[belief
reason
emotional and cognitive intelligence
left-brain win/win active hope
and right-brain felt love, compassion, integrity, co-empathy]

of Messiahs

[and Bodhisattva PeaceCorp Warriors, global mustard seed planters,
Hiawathas and Renewable Energy (inside and out) Advocates,
and Ancient EcoFeminist Wisdom Healers]

is rooted in early cooperative intent
to push together toward light

[integral harmony singing Voices of Other
health
mutual empowerment
happy, inviting climate therapy
potential for personal
and global
integrity].

Good faith in politics
seeds active hope
for multicultural empowerment,
co-passioned love for synergetic health
as also true organic wealth.

Faith in healthy empowerment
is as original

[seminal
ZeroZone right-brain prominent
sacred
sacramental
integral
creative
rebirthing]

as our first pilgrimage
from EarthMother’s womb
into this timeless light
of healthy passage
into interdependent passions
yet including autonomous
re-creative tension
promulgating win/win revolutionary intent.

Healthy intent
to see with both eyes equally

[curiously
courageously
secularly Left-Either/Or
and sacredly Right-Both/And
cooperatively win/win
nutritionally strategic]

To hear
both future right-healthed
multicultures
and past left-wealthed
polycultures
listening with
and then speaking up and out for organic
Faith in health-power
multipoly-pathic Voices

Still wise enough
to avoid monopolizing integrity’s Light.

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Nothing Is Not Lost

Hear unsilenced hope here,
Nothing is not lost.

Hopelessness is the enemy
of justice.

Music resounds appositionally
against fear.

Anthems rise solidarity
within eco-righteous anger.

Praise conserves liberal motion.

Emotion co-arises dipolar cognitive/affective passions.

Climate pathology may not become
the responsibility of white privilege.
Yet, healthy climates may heal
both our oppression of Earth’s sacred integrity
and our white privileged victimizations.

Wealthy multicultural opportunities
re-present risks for and of further monoculturing fragmentation
apartheid
disassociations
conserving silos
of hopelessly unfree silence.

This is our liberal conserving health agenda,
Earth wealth
cooperatively inclusive,
interdependently webbed.

We know we are conservatively listening win/win leaders
when liberally correct agendas
are also Earth-centered conservational anthems
singing courageous praise
against the fake win/lose face
of either totalitarian power
or universal fear.

Active hope
is the ally
of Earth’s great restoring justice
for all,
they and we
eco and ego
yin and yang
universal health and unitarian wealth.

If all faith speaks with liberal political correctness,
so too
all hope erupts from silent win/win conserving power
noticing risks of disempowering silence
missing opportunities for re-empowering healthy natural wealth
between all souls
among all soils
all fearful angry lynching
all courageous songs unflinching.

Music heals through wind and water carried
keening
secular mundane hate
become sacred epic texts
re-formed ego-wind with eco-water
singing unsilenced sorrow.

Hear hope here.
Nothing is not lost
through complacent silence.

 

Note: The latter portion of this piece is in conversation with “Invocation” by Elizabeth Alexander.

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