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My Economic Life, and Death

My life thoughts darkly whisper
of mortality,
hidden,
like shame,

As my death lightly wanders
through eternity,
infinite,
like timelessness.

Economic wealth roots from light,
enlightenment
as
Political health branches through power,
empowerment.

Space captures deducted form
as
Time frees inductive function

As punishing absence of peace exhales
bad monotheistic climates
so restoring justice can refill
creolizing multicultures,
co-passionate dipolar co-arisings
like life
and death
and bicameral paradox
bilateral fractal box
in-between

Space invites unconfined energy,
co-gravitating as
Time remembers unSourced energy,
democratically uniting co-passions
throughout past
and future regenerations.

Left hemisphere ergodically longs
to restore immortal justice
as
Right hemisphere ionically belongs
to wondrously interdependent
contextual
multicultural
transubstantiating
synergetic
holonic
holy
sacred peace
Kingdoms of God
QueenSeas of EarthMother Wombs,
Fathers
and HolonicWinds/HolyWaves.

Yang invests in ecosystemic light
as
Yin divests of egocentric
economic
capitalistic
win/lose anthro-centric
anti-ecological
degenerative
patriarchally predative
LeftBrain monoculturally dominating
power.

Economically cooperative experiences
darkly whisper of mortality,
hidden,
like egotistic shame,

UnCompetitive fear of death lustily wanders
through enculturing eternity,
infinite history,
like angry timelessness.

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Prayers to a Trumpian God

I remember several prayers
to invoke God’s blessings on America
as a reminder of traditional political mindfulness?
Fundamental awareness of our economic investments
in win/win GoldenRule
positive social-psychological security.

No one “keeps”
or “makes”
this confederation of uniting states great,
unless we democratically cooperate with them
for mutually developing resonant resilience
through compassionate communication,
leftbrain polypathic truth
echoing right brain polyphonic beauty.

Invocations to sustain safety
suggest the U.S. is win/win safe now,
or implies concern that we are at win/lose risk.

We have,
over these past industrial-scientific centuries,
discovered ways to sustain ecologically healthy relationship,
to economically
and politically
and culturally
and physically
and mentally
and naturally
and spiritually remain safe
and unsafe.

We are each on a continuum of health v pathology
as individual egos,
as is each of our State ecosystems,
as is this Nation-identity
as a whole eco-political system
within an international interdependent natural/spiritual network
of compassion
or Business As Usual
capital-monopolistic competition.

“America” refers to two continents,
one to the north
and one to the south.
A U.S. safety and health security measure
may or may not be appropriate health and safety policy
and procedure
for this quartile of Earth.

Do you also fear and anger
about heading in an ecologically unraveling,
and therefore increasingly unsafe, direction,
more immediately for our coastal nations and, yes,
still somewhat united States,
struggling for healthy survival
of GoldenRule sanity,
remembered as eco/theo-logical GoldenAges past.

We would be spiritually safe
and naturally healthy for and from what
and why?
Tradition conservative minds,
both eco- and theo-logical,
tend to exegete the Preamble to the Constitution
and perhaps even the Declaration of Independence.

Here we read
we are united in healthy pursuits
of happy well-being prosperity.

We also read we are uniting with freedom
to articulate a multicultural relationship with God,
free of dominating,
power-over controlling religious-political constraints,
restraints,
threats,
retribution against personal regenerative hope,
judgments against eco/theo-logical healthy expression,
and economic leverages or divestments.

Uniting with and for and of freedom
includes no inquisitions for bowing to the East.
If we all did,
then God might feel the humor of AnthroCentrists
bowing and worshiping toward each Other’s rear end,
finding us good and proper,
invoking with our coordinated heads on Earth’s ground
this timeless time a full polyculturally wise day
mutually inviting humility,
win/win safety
defending and recreating
our cooperative economic-political healthy atmosphere.

Does separation of religious from democratic self-governance
international declarations and national constitutions
intrinsically grow tension with our desire to be safely connected
for resilient eco-political prosperity?

This national united democratic identity was,
and somewhat remains,
a radical social secularized experiment
tainted by commodified relationships
between inhumane predators
and dis-humanized human prey
become wealth-producing property.

Religious multicultural,
rather than monocultural and supremacist, institutions
compassionately intend regenerative self/other GoldenRules
WinWin perpetuation
toward safe and healthy co-governance
throughout Time’s ecosystemic/egocentric eternities.

ReConnection
ReLigion
is the nutritional stuffing of political powers over
and powers with,
powers under
and powers without,
empowerment and disempowerment,
investment and divestment,
inhalation and exhalation,
life and death.

Multiculturing a shared safe and healthy
politically powerful teleology, reason for being,
for becoming healthier and safer together,
is not ecologically equivalent,
is not educationally relevant,
to dumbed-down anti-spirited nihilism
against cooperative society
and polyculturally
polypathic
polyphonic
polyvagal
polynomial profound integral experience,
and for competitive economic and political win/lose systems.

We under-sell our political ecology
of healthy multi-enculturation
by purging ourselves of rightbrain interdependent win/win safety
faith and empathic trust in each responsible Other,
faith in Earth’s cooperative health
and multigenerational sustainability;

Bleaching compassionate faith out of public discourse,
especially public education in favor of restoring compassionate
eco/theo-logical interrelationships,
and most especially bleaching out of deep listening-learning mindfulness
health and safety
about our own uniting states of ecopolitical trust,
climates of winlose competitive mistrust,
learned anthro-centric distrusts
secularizing our positive natural/spiritual inter-faiths
and negative ego-ethnocentric prejudices
within our interior landscapes
and across the North and South American landscape
of a remarkably ecologically co-evolving history
for polyculturing,
creolizing,
dynamic-revolving nature/spirit transubstantiating,
Earth.

Such reified leftbrain science and education
can only predict closed-system
zero-sum entropy,
while nature-spirit deep learning comprehends
emergent open-systemic
co-empathic loves,
win/win integrity,
nondual cooperative truths as symmetrical beauties,
multiculturing evolution of Time
our regenerational
transgenerational ego-selves
within ecosystemically resonant
natural/spiritual bodies
nature
habitat
begun from EarthMother wombs.

May our multiculturing God
continue to bless all our North and South Americans
to love all our multiculturally healthy,
safe,
well-being,
cooperatively co-invested
EarthTribes.

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Humanity of Horses

My internal experience of depression
today shames
external ecology of elation,
all I might know as warm extended family
of profoundly peaceful impressions
still bare surviving
at end of this slow-fading thread.

This morning
one Epictetus sentence
speaks of blaming left-hemisphere dominant GodVoices:

“People are disturbed not by things,
but by the view they take of them.”

Similar to proving and approving:
Universal Gods are undisturbed not so much by peaceful events,
but by the transcendent view they own
by loving them.

Some days,
like yesterday,
I feel excruciatingly intolerant
of Earth’s
Losing healthy systems–LeftWing
and
Losing wealthy democratic resilience–RightWing
depression
suppressing what might,
more positively,
notice integral bilateral energy trends.

This synergetic,
yet distinctly negative,
degenerative feeling travels far beyond
compassion exhaustion
to despair.

Even an omnipotent God
could not have,
could not even evoke to grow,
further and faster extensions of sufficient compassion
for such death and dying misery;
absolution…
redemption…
all peacefully forgiven.

Among humans,
of course,
but extended to other dying
and already extinct species
reduced to fuel
for some predator species’ relentlessly extracting fire

And beyond all creatures here below,
to macro-political living systems
like self-cleaning rivers,
healthy surfing salt-water oceans
with multicolored coral reefs,
wealthy bones,

And topsoil organic life systems
and MotherTree forests,
and wild, complex boundary areas
of creolization,
interbreeding
petri recircling research and discovery
recovery
uncovery
incovery
excovery
anti-covery
pro-covery
positive covery
negative covery
expanding covery
shrinking covery
elation covery
depression covery
exhalation covery
inhalation covery
investment covery
divestment covery
empowering covery
disempowering covery
not not double-binding cooperatively owned covers,

Labels,
nomials,
variables,
experiences,
memories,
rememories,
memes,
images,
imaginations,
designs,
divine hopes and humane fears

I disagree with Epictetus;
This person is empathically disturbed by experiences.

Rape and violent militarized sadism
and politically sanctioned death sentences
come immediately to mind,
cold hearted starvation and dehydration
of innocent children,
ponies,
mothers,
mares,
peaceful fathers,
faithful stallions.

Meanwhile corporate gods drilling and fracking
greedily extracting
win/lose against future healthy regenerations
of Earth’s organic life.

Tell God:
A mother
watching her children stabbed
and/or starved to death
is not disturbed by events
but by the subjective view parents take of them.

If He agrees with you,
find a different Goddess Earth
with sufficient win/win compassion and hope
to change our competitive
Left v Right-hemisphere story.

All creatures are disturbed by negative events
and by Win/Lose
and/or Lose/Lose
views we take of degenerative ZeroSum violence,
eco-political
and neuro-psychological,
whether horse or dog
or cat or rat,
grateful and co-empathic predator
or cooperative divine-human nature.

But, my divine elation Right
unitarian yin climate,
reminds my humane depressive Left
universal Yang culture,
deductive proof of negative pudding
is in inductive gratitude for positive multiculturing outcomes,

All creatures are undisturbed by positive events
and by Win/Win views
and memories
and designing images
we receive for regenerative NonZero-Sum peace,
eco-political,
neuro-psychological,
theo-ecological.

I know
and deeply appreciate
an ecofeminist equestrian farmer
who says all this
depressing and elating stuff
much more simply,
“I trust the empowering humanness of horses
far more than the competitive horsiness of humans.”

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BadBoy MonoTheists

Where do we think all this economic and politically empowering
cooperative
nutritional
organically luscious imagination
and ecologically exegetical orthopraxis
started?

George Lakoff speaks of strictly straight stern paternalistic God the Universalist Fathers,
vertically Winning over an otherwise Loser, yet highly competitive, ecopolitical world
and ecologically survivalist-separatist
human parasite-divine supremacist
nature-spirit dualist Western-Dominant straight-way
of seeing our origins
and ourselves,
or at least our father-figures,
ForeFathers,
ProGenitors of victorious Yang-Health Win/Lose
Left over RightBrain WinWin Dominant enculturation.

OK,
I may have added a few gaming elements,
paradigmatic essences which Lakoff
speaks of as if they may be associated with some other economically and politically normative and important words like
healthy v pathological climate,
spirit,
natural chemistry,
dynamic,
changing yet traditional ecological networking relationships.

In describing what I call LeftBrain ecopolitical Dominance,
and what he describes as patriarchal straight-stern Father Knows Healthy Competitive Best 1950’s Republicanism,
“Absolute categorization requires essences,
properties that define absolute categories.”
Patriarchs tend to be Win/Lose Universalists,
as nurturing Matriarchs therapeutically trend toward WinWin Unitarian-Integrationists,
polycultural nondual co-arising nature-spirit enrichment
over monocultural BadBoy too-competitive ecopolitics.

Strict Father evolutionary ecopolitical models,
also LeftBrain Enculturation-Language Dominant,
are more drawn to spiritual fundamentalist belief systems
while their Nurturing Matriarchal Networking RightBrain
looks toward root systems of natural-radical regenerative fertility,
requiring some fortunate/unfortunate ambiguity about the nature-spirit compete/cooperate essences
of ecopolitical gender categories.

RightBrain radical spiritual experiences may be suppressed,
but MotherEarth’s cooperative regenesis is not yet dead.

Because of my own Strict Father evangelical Christian Republican,
post-adolescent USA formative years,
I have a renewing appreciation for growing up damaged,
but still RightBrain basically healthy-balancing,
in an ecopolitical LeftBrain Patriarchal EgoDominant conservationist Republican-agrarian
and yet healthy nature-spirit Matriarchal understory family,
where I was part of the dominant
Whites-Only
monoculturing
separatist rural Michigan culture,
and also secretly queer as a two-dollar bill,
as we used to say
back in the anti-feminist day.

This combination eventually led me away from Fundamentally-Dualist God the Condemning Father
toward the Radical-NonDualist Goddess the Nurturing Nature-Spirit
LeftEgo-Right ElderSacred EcoPolitical Wisdom Literature
of Taoism,
and Unitarian-Universalism,
where the hyphen itself
tells the entire permacultural history
between pre-millennial Tao as (0)-sum balancing ecopolitical SpaceTime
spoken in bilateral dialects of Patriarch/Matriarch Yang/Yin CoOperative Enthymematic Communication,
to fill in my nondual natural-spiritual matriarchal feminist side,
which is much more fun
and a whole lot wiser
than without.

From this still-maturing vantage
I can see
that we can all bicamerally see
that ecopolitical-ecological fusion is to regenerative complexity (M. Csikszentmilhalyi)
as cooperative-comparative ecopolitical blurring is to chaos theory,
or Creolizing Political Theory, in Jane Anna Gordon’s vocabulary,
or Feminist EcoPolitical Theory.

Here I enjoy a more cooperative networking and balancing culture
of extended polypathic bicameral family values,
while still aesthetically appreciating Patriarchal Forms
of CoMessianic Nurturing Daddies
as also Bodhisattva Matriarchal MercyWarriors
restoring Peace and Climate Justice,
at their nurturing wise Solomonic best,
where we all began,
in RightMind ecopolitical prodigal potential Mommy’s Wombs,
living within Sacred MotherEarth’s climate prime Attachment
of Beloved CoOperative Left/Right contenting Health;
anonymous pre-embryonic Taoists.

LeftBrain ecopolitical and familial dominance
is more deeply etched in ‘nonEastern’ languaged
and nonverbally communicating/dissonating cultures,

(I dare not speak the LeftBrain WesternCapitalist Patriarchal Name
of strict means straight and stern Calvinist truth
more than also spiraling,
thermodynamically balancing,
double-binding fractal (0)-sum polypathic octave frequencies
of enlightnment,
CoOperative Nature’s Divinely Sacred Symmetric BiLateral Beauty)

Both verbally and nonverbally,
both familial and extended socially,
both economically and extended political power invested,
both competitively and cooperatively,
both authoritatively regenerative and nurturing-health responsibly,
it seems to me
these are the appositional polarities
around which each of our economic and political narratives
find their most nutritiously enlightening root systems
of ecological climate health as ego/eco-centric wealth.

The Donald looks more like the Court Jester
than the Earth Messiah.
Unfortunately,
now the BadBoy logical conclusion
of LeftBrain Dominant USA adolescently competitive ecopolitics
has even more power of the purse
and nuclear ballistics.
It’s like letting your kids
play with fire
while investing in more gasoline.
It just doesn’t feel healthy
or like wise wealth investment planning
to me;
more kind of LeftBrain Dominatrix-Delusional terrifying.

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Sabbath Prayers

EarthMother’s unwilling Emissary
asked each faith community
and patriotic party
what they thought and felt
about God’s preferential option for the poor,
despised,
criminal,
homeless,
wounded and powerless women and children,
physical disabilities,
sick,
terrified,
rabid with anger and fear,
enslaved,
addicted,
insane.

Does this sound like an accurate description
of your congregation,
your self-empowering party,
your communion of saints,
your synagogue,
your sanctuary–
or are these those who best remain outside
your ego-celebrating walls?

Why are eco-they
not ego-you
on Saturday or Sunday morning
through midnight?

Why are these not Sabbath communion participants
holding mutually cooperative
and graced space
together?

What would it take
to heal this apartheid Ministerial NonAlliance?

Our homeless youth
play a young person’s avoidance game
in which all indoor human voices,
especially those of self-anointed authority,
ministerial power,
principals of punishing study
and exclusive EitherIn/OrOut system,
administrators of capital egocentric gains,
are suspect.

These same voices
have gathered from sandy shores,
river boundary habitats,
wilderness downstream spaces,
toxic dump places,
to lead competing Ministerial Alliances
in a guided poly-path toward meditation:

Imagine
you are an African black
and Latin brown
and Earth green
and Fire red
and SunLight yellow
and Moon ultra-nonviolet
and Water transparent
and Air invisible thread,
both natural and spiritual,
within Earth’s multi-regenerational systemic network,
a tapestry sunclock-wise woven,
sunset before sunrise unwoven
north with southern dipolarities rewoven
prewoven across a universe of Time.

You have regenerative
and degenerative experiences
thoughts
feelings
choices
absence of choice,
external debates
and internal discernments,
and dialogues
in-between your LeftBrain doer thoughts
to save us sinners
and malformed win/lose supporters
and RightBrain becoming together feelings
to reweave
to cooperatively heal
resilient natural Earth systems
with resonant spirit-felt EcoOrigins

From BlackHole Wombed potential
toward wealth rainbow not-not vaporous knots
of double-binding resonant climate health,
internally right hemispheric
as external LeftYang enculturing compassion
interweaving threads
learning intersectional co-passioning resilience
in four prime-revolutionary
space-time dimensions.

Imagine
how much more health we could do
and wealthy be
together,
rather than subclimates and subcultures
competitively
and resentfully
apart.

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When I Was Eight

I owned a warm breezed first Spring day
in radiantly refulgent sun
between billowed cumulative clouds
white as sailing sheets
on our vibrating
shaking and tugging cotton clothesline
swaying multi-colored tops
and sun bleached blue jean bottoms.

Like God,
I looked curiously
benignly
warmly down

As industrious ants
with apparently urgent missions
I would never learn how to assign
chewed and sniffed their singular ways
through a forest of shading grass
over dappled shadow soil

Vibrant blades of pointed grass
as tall as trees to ambitious worker ants
sometimes militaristic
but now peacefully recovering
discovering thawed warm roots
of cooperative deep dark Earth.

I could not own a wealthier Spring day
except just now,
at sixes with seven,
often remembering this polished day
and night dreamed moment
beside breeze blown white sailing ships
of sun-scent cotton state
breathing in under first fresh cut lawn
to notice how wee ants live
side-by-side
refurbishing
rubbing up against and with
warm lamped memories

Recreating paths
by imaginatively embodying them
yet again

This first-owned warm Spring breeze
of wistful
divine memory.

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God’s Imperfect People

While I do not doubt
God has chosen to use imperfect people
as powerful leaders
throughout history,

I also do not doubt
imperfect people have chosen to use god
to justify their narcissistic degenerative purposes
throughout history,

And I also do not doubt
God has not chosen to use
many unqualified and imperfect people
for effective public office
throughout a healthy democratic global history.

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Fear of Success

Fear of personal
and disconnecting
ego-success
feels reasonable to me

Too much adulating feedback
from old friends vaguely envious
that I would place myself above
and before them
sacrifices integrity
more resonant with us,
immersed in ecosystemic success,
embodied health,
resilient Earth-rooted wealth.

Children
especially straight white physically-privileged adolescents,
have grown self-empowerment rights
to autonomous personal lifestyle differences,
risks of failure,
opportunities toward narcissism,
as contested by parents
who often have our own anthropocentric issues
about humane success and failure.

Democratically grateful adults
have grown rights to self-determination
responsibility of personal con-science
consciousness authority
over-against God/Gaia,

Completing the circle
of young developing secular ego-systems
competing
rather than cooperatively owning and managing
appreciating immersion within
sacred ecosystemic Earth.

Perhaps LeftBrain’s WinLose risk
is also RightBrain’s WinWin opportunity
to aspire toward resilient God/Gaianess,
as bicamerally GoldenRuled together
ego/eco-systemic nest.

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Invoking Unfinished GodEssences

My autonomous ego’s life
feels unfinishable,
unthinkably mortal in future disconnection;
an unfinished compassion life,
unfinishable love,
an unpolished divine icon
of Earth’s self-promulgating creation,
recreation
becoming more articulately interdependent folks,
intersectional resacralizing populations,
self and other co-empowering creolization processors,
ego/eco-transubstantiating
north-western left hemisphere’s historic win/lose secularization.

Meanwhile,
our Gaian EarthMothers,
south past and eastern-future angelically co-present
Great Transition Troubadours
forever deepening sacred icons,
intersectional emissaries,
polypathic and polyphonic,
sacred MotherEarth becoming metaphorically global webbed,
rewoven away from left-hemisphere fashioned dualisms
of secularizing sacred both/and unity,
humanizing divine communion,
every day sanctuaried love-life,

Where pathological egocentric death
reconnects with healthy long-term compassionate communication
co-empathic communal deep listening
to learn nondualistic grief/gratitude re-education trends
bilaterally co-arising
unfinished articulation
still dynamically emanating
from unfinishable life
within Mother/Father EarthTribal His/HerStory.

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Slow-Cooked Conversion Stories

I was raised in one of those white nationalist churches,
passing itself off as a Christian evangelical Bible church,
where “evangelical” meant fundamental
and “fundamental” meant we did not interpret scripture
but accepted it as God’s literal trans-historical Word
of universal white male dominant
Bible thumping supremacy,
transcendently un-changing like…
like…
like nothing I’ve ever seen or heard
or smelled or tasted

Which is why we call not-Him-or-Her “God”
and not “SuperEgo”
or multicultural “Gaia”

Or anything else.
It turns out “God”
is a bit like not saying Valdemore’s name;
As Yahweh
is more about the ambiguously missing vowels
than their YHWH
YYXY
Either/Or-Both/And
bicameral structure.

Anyway, enough about sacred bisensory ecology.
While at People’s Bible Church
I was told, by all the white heterosexual adults
supporting and educating me
that being born again is not a gradual thing,
like growing into a pubescent body,
but instant,
like convenient oatmeal
or inferior mashed potatoes.

If I could not say,
with one hundred percent persuasion,
that I was reborn in Christ
on May 8, 1964
at 2:53 PM
Eastern Savings Time,
Just as I was originally born
on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.,
much to my mother’s inconvenience–
finished just in time to get home
to our dairy farm
for an unleisurely visit with “The Girls”
during her morning milking parlor gig–
Then the deviant
devilish mark of Satan
still clouds my not so milky white
not straight enough
not truly pure soul.

Such instant and yet resilient grace
felt unlikely to me.

I did not instantly lose hope
for a hot SantaDaddy
sliding down our family chimney
emerging from the family wood-burning furnace,
scorched of unnecessary
and superfluous clothes
to give me all the fruited manly gifts
I have felt so empty without
warm and wet accompaniment,
accomplishment.

Gradually,
over several years of neglecting this Santa myth
as cultural fantasy,
I did not wake up on May 8, 1956,
at 2:53 A.M.
and announce to all those not listening,
“I no longer believe in Santa Claus.”

De-mythification progress
seems to take me
about as long as my left-brain
dominating commodification process
took to grow into queer adolescence,
feeling unsafe,
unwanted,
with a best case possible future
of invisible insignificance,
hidden deeply beneath healthy humility.

Just as it took awhile to comfortably acclimate
to the toothlessness of myth,
It took me all my development years
on into late adolescence
to be sure that I would never safely
or resiliently convert
into a heterosexual.

When we were mutually experimenting grade school boys
during not much sleep overs
I was sure we shared the same destiny–
future heterosexuals,
Mr. Cleavers,
Mr. Smiths
not all too fascinated with Mr. Johnsons.

I didn’t suddenly realize,
“Oops. I failed to convert.”
Maybe I was a late bloomer,
just as some girls get pubes
and teats
and mensies later on
which seemed like more unfair girl pressure
than just sprouting new hair in old moist places
and growing at least somewhat less girlish voices.

Just as there was no May 8, 2:53 P.M.
of any year
when I knew,
“OK, that’s it.
It’s done growing
in both length and width.”
I had no day or night
when I said,
“OK, that’s it.
I choose to be queer”
so I can be the target of hate crimes,
bad jokes,
white Christian heterosexual predators,
bigoted employers,
homophobic police
and teachers
and parents
and siblings,
and preachers

Fully capable of witnessing against me
the exact date, time, and year
they began their life long love affair
with white male Jesus Christ,
straight (presumably) Jewish carpenter’s apprentice,
Son of God and…
and…
God,
who finished creating Earth,
and at least our entire Solar System,
exactly seven days
after He started, on May 8th
at 2:53 A.M.,
year 0000.

I have developed health-considered faith
in win/win progressive processes.
I accept that faith actively hopes in unseen relationships,
unheard communications,
unnoticed actions and reactions.

Still,
I find an always changing
transparent
vulnerable,
courageously curious difference
between left-brain statements of verbal instant faith,
and right/left-brain emerging lifeskill learnings
conversions
healings
redemptively felt economies,
salvific co-relational powers,

And I have trouble believing
that such ubiquitous differences
between slow-grown processive maturation
and imitative instant role-playing
is only accessible to queers,
white, black, brown, red, purple, green, or ultra-violet,
born on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.
much to the inconvenience
of busy heterosexual
pre-millennial dairy farmers.

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