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BadBoy MonoTheists

Where do we think all this economic and politically empowering
cooperative
nutritional
organically luscious imagination
and ecologically exegetical orthopraxis
started?

George Lakoff speaks of strictly straight stern paternalistic God the Universalist Fathers,
vertically Winning over an otherwise Loser, yet highly competitive, ecopolitical world
and ecologically survivalist-separatist
human parasite-divine supremacist
nature-spirit dualist Western-Dominant straight-way
of seeing our origins
and ourselves,
or at least our father-figures,
ForeFathers,
ProGenitors of victorious Yang-Health Win/Lose
Left over RightBrain WinWin Dominant enculturation.

OK,
I may have added a few gaming elements,
paradigmatic essences which Lakoff
speaks of as if they may be associated with some other economically and politically normative and important words like
healthy v pathological climate,
spirit,
natural chemistry,
dynamic,
changing yet traditional ecological networking relationships.

In describing what I call LeftBrain ecopolitical Dominance,
and what he describes as patriarchal straight-stern Father Knows Healthy Competitive Best 1950’s Republicanism,
“Absolute categorization requires essences,
properties that define absolute categories.”
Patriarchs tend to be Win/Lose Universalists,
as nurturing Matriarchs therapeutically trend toward WinWin Unitarian-Integrationists,
polycultural nondual co-arising nature-spirit enrichment
over monocultural BadBoy too-competitive ecopolitics.

Strict Father evolutionary ecopolitical models,
also LeftBrain Enculturation-Language Dominant,
are more drawn to spiritual fundamentalist belief systems
while their Nurturing Matriarchal Networking RightBrain
looks toward root systems of natural-radical regenerative fertility,
requiring some fortunate/unfortunate ambiguity about the nature-spirit compete/cooperate essences
of ecopolitical gender categories.

RightBrain radical spiritual experiences may be suppressed,
but MotherEarth’s cooperative regenesis is not yet dead.

Because of my own Strict Father evangelical Christian Republican,
post-adolescent USA formative years,
I have a renewing appreciation for growing up damaged,
but still RightBrain basically healthy-balancing,
in an ecopolitical LeftBrain Patriarchal EgoDominant conservationist Republican-agrarian
and yet healthy nature-spirit Matriarchal understory family,
where I was part of the dominant
Whites-Only
monoculturing
separatist rural Michigan culture,
and also secretly queer as a two-dollar bill,
as we used to say
back in the anti-feminist day.

This combination eventually led me away from Fundamentally-Dualist God the Condemning Father
toward the Radical-NonDualist Goddess the Nurturing Nature-Spirit
LeftEgo-Right ElderSacred EcoPolitical Wisdom Literature
of Taoism,
and Unitarian-Universalism,
where the hyphen itself
tells the entire permacultural history
between pre-millennial Tao as (0)-sum balancing ecopolitical SpaceTime
spoken in bilateral dialects of Patriarch/Matriarch Yang/Yin CoOperative Enthymematic Communication,
to fill in my nondual natural-spiritual matriarchal feminist side,
which is much more fun
and a whole lot wiser
than without.

From this still-maturing vantage
I can see
that we can all bicamerally see
that ecopolitical-ecological fusion is to regenerative complexity (M. Csikszentmilhalyi)
as cooperative-comparative ecopolitical blurring is to chaos theory,
or Creolizing Political Theory, in Jane Anna Gordon’s vocabulary,
or Feminist EcoPolitical Theory.

Here I enjoy a more cooperative networking and balancing culture
of extended polypathic bicameral family values,
while still aesthetically appreciating Patriarchal Forms
of CoMessianic Nurturing Daddies
as also Bodhisattva Matriarchal MercyWarriors
restoring Peace and Climate Justice,
at their nurturing wise Solomonic best,
where we all began,
in RightMind ecopolitical prodigal potential Mommy’s Wombs,
living within Sacred MotherEarth’s climate prime Attachment
of Beloved CoOperative Left/Right contenting Health;
anonymous pre-embryonic Taoists.

LeftBrain ecopolitical and familial dominance
is more deeply etched in ‘nonEastern’ languaged
and nonverbally communicating/dissonating cultures,

(I dare not speak the LeftBrain WesternCapitalist Patriarchal Name
of strict means straight and stern Calvinist truth
more than also spiraling,
thermodynamically balancing,
double-binding fractal (0)-sum polypathic octave frequencies
of enlightnment,
CoOperative Nature’s Divinely Sacred Symmetric BiLateral Beauty)

Both verbally and nonverbally,
both familial and extended socially,
both economically and extended political power invested,
both competitively and cooperatively,
both authoritatively regenerative and nurturing-health responsibly,
it seems to me
these are the appositional polarities
around which each of our economic and political narratives
find their most nutritiously enlightening root systems
of ecological climate health as ego/eco-centric wealth.

The Donald looks more like the Court Jester
than the Earth Messiah.
Unfortunately,
now the BadBoy logical conclusion
of LeftBrain Dominant USA adolescently competitive ecopolitics
has even more power of the purse
and nuclear ballistics.
It’s like letting your kids
play with fire
while investing in more gasoline.
It just doesn’t feel healthy
or like wise wealth investment planning
to me;
more kind of LeftBrain Dominatrix-Delusional terrifying.

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Sabbath Prayers

EarthMother’s unwilling Emissary
asked each faith community
and patriotic party
what they thought and felt
about God’s preferential option for the poor,
despised,
criminal,
homeless,
wounded and powerless women and children,
physical disabilities,
sick,
terrified,
rabid with anger and fear,
enslaved,
addicted,
insane.

Does this sound like an accurate description
of your congregation,
your self-empowering party,
your communion of saints,
your synagogue,
your sanctuary–
or are these those who best remain outside
your ego-celebrating walls?

Why are eco-they
not ego-you
on Saturday or Sunday morning
through midnight?

Why are these not Sabbath communion participants
holding mutually cooperative
and graced space
together?

What would it take
to heal this apartheid Ministerial NonAlliance?

Our homeless youth
play a young person’s avoidance game
in which all indoor human voices,
especially those of self-anointed authority,
ministerial power,
principals of punishing study
and exclusive EitherIn/OrOut system,
administrators of capital egocentric gains,
are suspect.

These same voices
have gathered from sandy shores,
river boundary habitats,
wilderness downstream spaces,
toxic dump places,
to lead competing Ministerial Alliances
in a guided poly-path toward meditation:

Imagine
you are an African black
and Latin brown
and Earth green
and Fire red
and SunLight yellow
and Moon ultra-nonviolet
and Water transparent
and Air invisible thread,
both natural and spiritual,
within Earth’s multi-regenerational systemic network,
a tapestry sunclock-wise woven,
sunset before sunrise unwoven
north with southern dipolarities rewoven
prewoven across a universe of Time.

You have regenerative
and degenerative experiences
thoughts
feelings
choices
absence of choice,
external debates
and internal discernments,
and dialogues
in-between your LeftBrain doer thoughts
to save us sinners
and malformed win/lose supporters
and RightBrain becoming together feelings
to reweave
to cooperatively heal
resilient natural Earth systems
with resonant spirit-felt EcoOrigins

From BlackHole Wombed potential
toward wealth rainbow not-not vaporous knots
of double-binding resonant climate health,
internally right hemispheric
as external LeftYang enculturing compassion
interweaving threads
learning intersectional co-passioning resilience
in four prime-revolutionary
space-time dimensions.

Imagine
how much more health we could do
and wealthy be
together,
rather than subclimates and subcultures
competitively
and resentfully
apart.

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When I Was Eight

I owned a warm breezed first Spring day
in radiantly refulgent sun
between billowed cumulative clouds
white as sailing sheets
on our vibrating
shaking and tugging cotton clothesline
swaying multi-colored tops
and sun bleached blue jean bottoms.

Like God,
I looked curiously
benignly
warmly down

As industrious ants
with apparently urgent missions
I would never learn how to assign
chewed and sniffed their singular ways
through a forest of shading grass
over dappled shadow soil

Vibrant blades of pointed grass
as tall as trees to ambitious worker ants
sometimes militaristic
but now peacefully recovering
discovering thawed warm roots
of cooperative deep dark Earth.

I could not own a wealthier Spring day
except just now,
at sixes with seven,
often remembering this polished day
and night dreamed moment
beside breeze blown white sailing ships
of sun-scent cotton state
breathing in under first fresh cut lawn
to notice how wee ants live
side-by-side
refurbishing
rubbing up against and with
warm lamped memories

Recreating paths
by imaginatively embodying them
yet again

This first-owned warm Spring breeze
of wistful
divine memory.

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God’s Imperfect People

While I do not doubt
God has chosen to use imperfect people
as powerful leaders
throughout history,

I also do not doubt
imperfect people have chosen to use god
to justify their narcissistic degenerative purposes
throughout history,

And I also do not doubt
God has not chosen to use
many unqualified and imperfect people
for effective public office
throughout a healthy democratic global history.

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Fear of Success

Fear of personal
and disconnecting
ego-success
feels reasonable to me

Too much adulating feedback
from old friends vaguely envious
that I would place myself above
and before them
sacrifices integrity
more resonant with us,
immersed in ecosystemic success,
embodied health,
resilient Earth-rooted wealth.

Children
especially straight white physically-privileged adolescents,
have grown self-empowerment rights
to autonomous personal lifestyle differences,
risks of failure,
opportunities toward narcissism,
as contested by parents
who often have our own anthropocentric issues
about humane success and failure.

Democratically grateful adults
have grown rights to self-determination
responsibility of personal con-science
consciousness authority
over-against God/Gaia,

Completing the circle
of young developing secular ego-systems
competing
rather than cooperatively owning and managing
appreciating immersion within
sacred ecosystemic Earth.

Perhaps LeftBrain’s WinLose risk
is also RightBrain’s WinWin opportunity
to aspire toward resilient God/Gaianess,
as bicamerally GoldenRuled together
ego/eco-systemic nest.

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Invoking Unfinished GodEssences

My autonomous ego’s life
feels unfinishable,
unthinkably mortal in future disconnection;
an unfinished compassion life,
unfinishable love,
an unpolished divine icon
of Earth’s self-promulgating creation,
recreation
becoming more articulately interdependent folks,
intersectional resacralizing populations,
self and other co-empowering creolization processors,
ego/eco-transubstantiating
north-western left hemisphere’s historic win/lose secularization.

Meanwhile,
our Gaian EarthMothers,
south past and eastern-future angelically co-present
Great Transition Troubadours
forever deepening sacred icons,
intersectional emissaries,
polypathic and polyphonic,
sacred MotherEarth becoming metaphorically global webbed,
rewoven away from left-hemisphere fashioned dualisms
of secularizing sacred both/and unity,
humanizing divine communion,
every day sanctuaried love-life,

Where pathological egocentric death
reconnects with healthy long-term compassionate communication
co-empathic communal deep listening
to learn nondualistic grief/gratitude re-education trends
bilaterally co-arising
unfinished articulation
still dynamically emanating
from unfinishable life
within Mother/Father EarthTribal His/HerStory.

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Slow-Cooked Conversion Stories

I was raised in one of those white nationalist churches,
passing itself off as a Christian evangelical Bible church,
where “evangelical” meant fundamental
and “fundamental” meant we did not interpret scripture
but accepted it as God’s literal trans-historical Word
of universal white male dominant
Bible thumping supremacy,
transcendently un-changing like…
like…
like nothing I’ve ever seen or heard
or smelled or tasted

Which is why we call not-Him-or-Her “God”
and not “SuperEgo”
or multicultural “Gaia”

Or anything else.
It turns out “God”
is a bit like not saying Valdemore’s name;
As Yahweh
is more about the ambiguously missing vowels
than their YHWH
YYXY
Either/Or-Both/And
bicameral structure.

Anyway, enough about sacred bisensory ecology.
While at People’s Bible Church
I was told, by all the white heterosexual adults
supporting and educating me
that being born again is not a gradual thing,
like growing into a pubescent body,
but instant,
like convenient oatmeal
or inferior mashed potatoes.

If I could not say,
with one hundred percent persuasion,
that I was reborn in Christ
on May 8, 1964
at 2:53 PM
Eastern Savings Time,
Just as I was originally born
on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.,
much to my mother’s inconvenience–
finished just in time to get home
to our dairy farm
for an unleisurely visit with “The Girls”
during her morning milking parlor gig–
Then the deviant
devilish mark of Satan
still clouds my not so milky white
not straight enough
not truly pure soul.

Such instant and yet resilient grace
felt unlikely to me.

I did not instantly lose hope
for a hot SantaDaddy
sliding down our family chimney
emerging from the family wood-burning furnace,
scorched of unnecessary
and superfluous clothes
to give me all the fruited manly gifts
I have felt so empty without
warm and wet accompaniment,
accomplishment.

Gradually,
over several years of neglecting this Santa myth
as cultural fantasy,
I did not wake up on May 8, 1956,
at 2:53 A.M.
and announce to all those not listening,
“I no longer believe in Santa Claus.”

De-mythification progress
seems to take me
about as long as my left-brain
dominating commodification process
took to grow into queer adolescence,
feeling unsafe,
unwanted,
with a best case possible future
of invisible insignificance,
hidden deeply beneath healthy humility.

Just as it took awhile to comfortably acclimate
to the toothlessness of myth,
It took me all my development years
on into late adolescence
to be sure that I would never safely
or resiliently convert
into a heterosexual.

When we were mutually experimenting grade school boys
during not much sleep overs
I was sure we shared the same destiny–
future heterosexuals,
Mr. Cleavers,
Mr. Smiths
not all too fascinated with Mr. Johnsons.

I didn’t suddenly realize,
“Oops. I failed to convert.”
Maybe I was a late bloomer,
just as some girls get pubes
and teats
and mensies later on
which seemed like more unfair girl pressure
than just sprouting new hair in old moist places
and growing at least somewhat less girlish voices.

Just as there was no May 8, 2:53 P.M.
of any year
when I knew,
“OK, that’s it.
It’s done growing
in both length and width.”
I had no day or night
when I said,
“OK, that’s it.
I choose to be queer”
so I can be the target of hate crimes,
bad jokes,
white Christian heterosexual predators,
bigoted employers,
homophobic police
and teachers
and parents
and siblings,
and preachers

Fully capable of witnessing against me
the exact date, time, and year
they began their life long love affair
with white male Jesus Christ,
straight (presumably) Jewish carpenter’s apprentice,
Son of God and…
and…
God,
who finished creating Earth,
and at least our entire Solar System,
exactly seven days
after He started, on May 8th
at 2:53 A.M.,
year 0000.

I have developed health-considered faith
in win/win progressive processes.
I accept that faith actively hopes in unseen relationships,
unheard communications,
unnoticed actions and reactions.

Still,
I find an always changing
transparent
vulnerable,
courageously curious difference
between left-brain statements of verbal instant faith,
and right/left-brain emerging lifeskill learnings
conversions
healings
redemptively felt economies,
salvific co-relational powers,

And I have trouble believing
that such ubiquitous differences
between slow-grown processive maturation
and imitative instant role-playing
is only accessible to queers,
white, black, brown, red, purple, green, or ultra-violet,
born on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.
much to the inconvenience
of busy heterosexual
pre-millennial dairy farmers.

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