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Invoking Unfinished GodEssences

My autonomous ego’s life
feels unfinishable,
unthinkably mortal in future disconnection;
an unfinished compassion life,
unfinishable love,
an unpolished divine icon
of Earth’s self-promulgating creation,
recreation
becoming more articulately interdependent folks,
intersectional resacralizing populations,
self and other co-empowering creolization processors,
ego/eco-transubstantiating
north-western left hemisphere’s historic win/lose secularization.

Meanwhile,
our Gaian EarthMothers,
south past and eastern-future angelically co-present
Great Transition Troubadours
forever deepening sacred icons,
intersectional emissaries,
polypathic and polyphonic,
sacred MotherEarth becoming metaphorically global webbed,
rewoven away from left-hemisphere fashioned dualisms
of secularizing sacred both/and unity,
humanizing divine communion,
every day sanctuaried love-life,

Where pathological egocentric death
reconnects with healthy long-term compassionate communication
co-empathic communal deep listening
to learn nondualistic grief/gratitude re-education trends
bilaterally co-arising
unfinished articulation
still dynamically emanating
from unfinishable life
within Mother/Father EarthTribal His/HerStory.

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Slow-Cooked Conversion Stories

I was raised in one of those white nationalist churches,
passing itself off as a Christian evangelical Bible church,
where “evangelical” meant fundamental
and “fundamental” meant we did not interpret scripture
but accepted it as God’s literal trans-historical Word
of universal white male dominant
Bible thumping supremacy,
transcendently un-changing like…
like…
like nothing I’ve ever seen or heard
or smelled or tasted

Which is why we call not-Him-or-Her “God”
and not “SuperEgo”
or multicultural “Gaia”

Or anything else.
It turns out “God”
is a bit like not saying Valdemore’s name;
As Yahweh
is more about the ambiguously missing vowels
than their YHWH
YYXY
Either/Or-Both/And
bicameral structure.

Anyway, enough about sacred bisensory ecology.
While at People’s Bible Church
I was told, by all the white heterosexual adults
supporting and educating me
that being born again is not a gradual thing,
like growing into a pubescent body,
but instant,
like convenient oatmeal
or inferior mashed potatoes.

If I could not say,
with one hundred percent persuasion,
that I was reborn in Christ
on May 8, 1964
at 2:53 PM
Eastern Savings Time,
Just as I was originally born
on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.,
much to my mother’s inconvenience–
finished just in time to get home
to our dairy farm
for an unleisurely visit with “The Girls”
during her morning milking parlor gig–
Then the deviant
devilish mark of Satan
still clouds my not so milky white
not straight enough
not truly pure soul.

Such instant and yet resilient grace
felt unlikely to me.

I did not instantly lose hope
for a hot SantaDaddy
sliding down our family chimney
emerging from the family wood-burning furnace,
scorched of unnecessary
and superfluous clothes
to give me all the fruited manly gifts
I have felt so empty without
warm and wet accompaniment,
accomplishment.

Gradually,
over several years of neglecting this Santa myth
as cultural fantasy,
I did not wake up on May 8, 1956,
at 2:53 A.M.
and announce to all those not listening,
“I no longer believe in Santa Claus.”

De-mythification progress
seems to take me
about as long as my left-brain
dominating commodification process
took to grow into queer adolescence,
feeling unsafe,
unwanted,
with a best case possible future
of invisible insignificance,
hidden deeply beneath healthy humility.

Just as it took awhile to comfortably acclimate
to the toothlessness of myth,
It took me all my development years
on into late adolescence
to be sure that I would never safely
or resiliently convert
into a heterosexual.

When we were mutually experimenting grade school boys
during not much sleep overs
I was sure we shared the same destiny–
future heterosexuals,
Mr. Cleavers,
Mr. Smiths
not all too fascinated with Mr. Johnsons.

I didn’t suddenly realize,
“Oops. I failed to convert.”
Maybe I was a late bloomer,
just as some girls get pubes
and teats
and mensies later on
which seemed like more unfair girl pressure
than just sprouting new hair in old moist places
and growing at least somewhat less girlish voices.

Just as there was no May 8, 2:53 P.M.
of any year
when I knew,
“OK, that’s it.
It’s done growing
in both length and width.”
I had no day or night
when I said,
“OK, that’s it.
I choose to be queer”
so I can be the target of hate crimes,
bad jokes,
white Christian heterosexual predators,
bigoted employers,
homophobic police
and teachers
and parents
and siblings,
and preachers

Fully capable of witnessing against me
the exact date, time, and year
they began their life long love affair
with white male Jesus Christ,
straight (presumably) Jewish carpenter’s apprentice,
Son of God and…
and…
God,
who finished creating Earth,
and at least our entire Solar System,
exactly seven days
after He started, on May 8th
at 2:53 A.M.,
year 0000.

I have developed health-considered faith
in win/win progressive processes.
I accept that faith actively hopes in unseen relationships,
unheard communications,
unnoticed actions and reactions.

Still,
I find an always changing
transparent
vulnerable,
courageously curious difference
between left-brain statements of verbal instant faith,
and right/left-brain emerging lifeskill learnings
conversions
healings
redemptively felt economies,
salvific co-relational powers,

And I have trouble believing
that such ubiquitous differences
between slow-grown processive maturation
and imitative instant role-playing
is only accessible to queers,
white, black, brown, red, purple, green, or ultra-violet,
born on May 8, 1952
at 2:53 A.M.
much to the inconvenience
of busy heterosexual
pre-millennial dairy farmers.

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Eden Garden Dreams

Gardens,
like dreams
and other multiculturing complexities,
process
and sometimes progress into becoming ripe,
then unbecoming dormancy,
advent of and for regardening
redreaming seeds
preparing to further process

Perennial primal roots deepening into
new spring’s progressive attachment
network of polycultural dream garden nutrition,
aesthetic nurture,
ethical nature,
animating spirit of Earth’s co-arising life.

Eden’s original rising
and subsequent falling Garden
surrounds our GreenTribal Tree
of Ego/Eco-centering Life and WinterDeath.

The Creator’s forbidden foreshadow Tree
of Good and Evil
is a secondary,
yet divinely co-inspired, Tree
on our LeftBrain monocultural way
toward reducing Life to Good
and seducing Death through Evil–

Dreaming up and down
Win to Lose evolutionary models
and capitalism’s mono-atheistic further investments
in secularizing-commodifying Life
while spiritualizing accommodating Death;
praising win-win peace
while raising lose-lose Falls
re-enacting retributive divine greed,
detached disdaining injustice,
childish, perhaps adolescent at best, pettiness.

Evil, like Death,
is no more original
than the Great Fall and Eternal Winter,
whether we see and hear,
taste and touch
as divine Gardeners
or merely regenesis EarthTribal dreamers
of generic Spring uprisings
and Summer sensory climaxes
for Eden’s Tree of cooperatively original EcoLife,
and secondarily hibernating foreshadows of Ego-Death

Waiting
like an original Falling spring
for our ecofeminist deep green learning RightBrain

Rising Up
like a new spring garden,
like a dreaming root-systemic Tree
of GoodLife win-win cooperative processes
and EvilDeath lose-lose competitive climate pathology
of and for further revolutionary
divinely inspired creations,
re-creations,
evolutions and devolutions
in Eden Gardens,
regenerative and degenerative dreams
co-arising good and evil fruit
absorbed by ecofeminists
and devoured by patriarchs

Together
equally interdependent
in good life
through evil death
EarthTribal loyalty,
interdependent patriotism,
universal solidarity,
compassion,
love

Original humane/divine attachment
and secondary wealth detachment
and tertiary health regenesis.

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Cannibal Prophets

Prophecy is risky
and peculiar.

Prophets so seldom unveil opportunities
to win resilient integrity
without concomitant risks
of unhealthy failure.

Prophets of booming doom
and gloom
far outweigh voices for Golden Rules
and healthy tipping points
toward organic wealthy Ratios
to thrive opportunity rich
and risk free of threatening less
for any players
and for our working/playing Habitat,
Earth
and Her interdependent spacetime webbed ecological Universe,
also theologically known as Heaven(s).

Prophecy
has far less to say about future positive Paradise,

although manifest destiny
toward streets of capitalistic gold
and immaterial timeless life
for humane nature spiritualized souls
day and night Worshiping God the Father,
who is not a person
nor just a holistic Holy Ghost,
and is not Earth
and does not include owls
or dogs
or cats,
and certainly not skunks
or ravens
or vultures,

So Paradise becomes a Heaven
that may sound anti-ecological
to nature and beauty lovers,
a theological projection too transcendent
to remain humane and lovely
using a patriarchal anthro-hubris lens
toward monocultural vapidity,

Which is the opposite of rabidity,
more characteristic of hellish prophecies,
apparently confused with hopes more positive
and unmindfully compelling
fascinating
hypnotic
addictive.

Indigenous prophecies
include Cannibal Giant
who preys,
and never prays,
upon entire Tribes
Nations
and Confederacies of NationTribes
to chop off our heads
and boil them in beezle juice,

A protocol that begins with starvation,
perhaps because of climate degenerative climax issues,
but may continue just to count and hoard skulls
as early currency for Cannibal Giants
and their Warriors
demonstrating patriarchal power prowess.

If Cannibal Giants were themselves prophets
they would predict changes
from now through some future Earth climate
and human culture rooted in change trends
noticed from some past Great Transition time
toward this present moment
in Earth history,

A story with creation winners
and degenerative losers
among us cannibal head-hunters
of capital-hoarding
living in a climate
culture of regenerative/degenerative environmental health
and pathology.

Prophecy is rooted in retrospective
between a left-brain dominant HeadHunter,
a capitalistic win/lose God of theology
and our right hemisphere Gaian Hypothesis
of how to optimize ecological win/wins
in an interdependently latticed economy
predicting future impressive integrity of ego-health
co-arising eco-wealth.

Prophecy issues from cannibalizing roots
to survive,
then nutrition-driven enslavement
for needed agricultural workers,
then capital-development HeadHunter enslavement,
then win/lose head hunters
for industrial revolutions
into national colonies
owned by royal kleptocrats,
then passed to republican capitalists
for corporate profits,
not to be confused with prophets,
now perhaps passing on
toward win/win
left/right bicameral trusting
co-empathic
capital cooperative co-investors
in multi-theological ecology,

Left liberating Gaian hypotheses
and right conservational God of EarthLove
Integrity together prophesying
further climates
of resilient resonance
in past
and through future
regenerative health
predicting less degenerative head-hunter lack of wealth
as measured in trusted
re-memories of Paradise,
bilaterally co-invested,
co-investing,

Ego/eco-investment
in Paradise Prophecy
issuing back and forth,
back space and forth time,
to and fro
for and from
former Cannibal Giants.

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Worshiping Violence

God,
like Heaven and Earth,
could only be universally transcendent
creative energy

If also unitarian immanent
recreative integrity.

This may appear to be a glitch
to those who believe
we have a manifest divine destiny
to grow
grow
grow and multiply
without concurrent responsibility
to harmony within one shared web of life,
integrity strength with resilient flow.

Contrary to popular capitalistic opinion,
violence,
and threat thereof,
is not a win/lose zero-sum option,

Like slavery
and racism
and colonization,
power-overing is a much more toxic
lose/lose
vicious-encircling
lack of win/win
compassion-optioned choice-making.

Risky,
like choosing clothing-optional strategies
for vulnerable transparency

But,
without the sunburn
and danger of staring,
scaring small children.

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Born To Win

My leftbrain personifies creative/degenerative nature
yielding an omnipotent YangGod
and shadowy omnipresent YinDemon,

While my rightbrain personalization of creative power
yields our omni-source yin/yang harmonic
dipolar co-arising EarthMother web of life,
original prime relationship
of Spirit/Nature,

Breathing in spirit energy,
exhaling natural strength,

In and out of Zero ZenWomb interdependent web
of regenerate life
more empowering
than fears about degenerate leftbrain ego-death,
loss,
fragmentation of natural polypath/spiritual polyphonic balance

Remaining stuck in monoculturing leftbrain thoughts
about EitherGod OrDemonic
bipolar Saint/Sinner
fundamentalistic
dualistic
capitalistic domination,

When more healthy attached EarthMother experience
suggests wealthier capital co-investment,
left listening
to wise-elder sacredly interdependent right feelings,
transpersonified
co-empathic positive and negative energy democracy,
at best curiously courageous,
at worst patient with negatively detached personifications
of MotherEarth,
creative with wombs
and eggs
and seeds
and DNA,
and RNA,
useful tools for developing healthy cooperative wealth,
not just of capitals
but of all land and water,
air and spirit,
incoming and outgoing personifications.

 

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Wrong Premises

I find it not right
nor sustainably left,
snapped the poet,
that sainted soldiers claimed healthy transitions
toward divinely rapturous peace
to promote principles of death
by deliberate
degenerate design.

I could not reasonably interpret good news
win-God/win-humanity scripture stories
designed for win/lose inhumane
unredeemed
heroic fight makes Earth all zero-balanced right
patriotic players.

Neither philosophers
nor politicians
nor parasites
nor predators
could legitimately inscribe
and thereby enslave
Natural Law
to justify killing each
Eco-Other

which, unreasoning,
feels distinctly unnatural
and betrays principled cause/effect order,

neither promoting liberty toward healthy naturality
nor security from too wealthy
self-satisfied non-spirituality

for individuals
families
communities
residuals
tribes
transgenderals
cultures
nations
generals
species of natural ordered pasts,
spirited futures,
co-presently remembered,
designed by healthy recombinant
transubstantiating
meta-morphic intent.

Nor is it OK for real-world multicultural experience
to whisper God’s sacred transcendent
omnipotent mercy
to support
and reason
and negotiate for just wars
against this actual everyday private humanity
of one interdependently public
transparently vulnerable messianic body,
a cooperatively-owned sacrificial servant
for Earth’s more polyculturally robust life,
not monocultural
Death

which feels like sacrilege against any divine Creator’s
regenerative potential
and/or original intent,
omnipotent resilience,
omniscient resonance,
omnipresent restorative justice
justifying win/win/win/win…
Peace

which cannot be reasonably used
to justify deliberate dissonant degenerativity,
nor to sanctify desecration.

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