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DisOrdered Sons and Fathers

May all sacred,
but not quite omnipotent,
fathers learn this day
as we impatiently correct
our stress-disordered sons

That respect is earned,
so maybe disrespect is too
positive and negative layered
for and against authority
for and sometimes restlessly against
repeating Business As Usual
white middle-class dadisms:

You snooze
you lose

May apply to your lethargic
chronically anxious
thuggish
couch-surfing
cannabis-fed son

And yet feels counter-intuitive
for babies
and us great grandads
who need our outside rest
away from commercial
too lit up
and loud
and relentlessly plastic
inhumane degradations

In such a rabidly anxious hurry
to wait for inevitable pandemics
and genocide,
floods
hurricanes
tsunamis
forest fires
drought
dry river beds
famine
insomnia
rabidity

Taking a snooze
feels like a healthy alternative to:

capitalist narcissism
anthropocentric monotheism
monoculturing nationalism
painful survivalist isolation
demented diseases
species extinctions
anthro-supremacist

safety and defense-oriented males
on a bad day
in a depressing moment

Become
yackity yack disrespectful
feeling privileged to rightwing exclusively define
“real [and not indefensively stupid] men.”

Yet quietly hiding
under these sacredly respected
and secular unrespectful unsuspecting layers
of diverse manhood hues and cues
and patriarchal cultures

Capital invested climates
prefer cooperative integrity
over dormant faith-based respect
and creatively traumatic disrespect
and unenlightened
stress-triggered unrespect
dis-integrity

Desecrating sacred solidarity feelings
learned today
as synergetic need/want supportive
communication systems
sometimes impatiently correcting
my pre- and post-traumatic
stress disordered father
son.

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Catholic Daze

I recall
from Catholic seminal
seminary daze,

Frocked monastic gaze
vowed nerve-systemic chastity,
self-sacrificing poverty,
political obedience
to a Great StraightMale Master
of God’s paradise reclusive House
filled with sacred humane
Men’s Room Only vocations.

Yet I experienced these three
Green Commons commitments
in reverse Taoistic
NonZeroistic chronology
of sacramental EarthCentric interest:

Without fully embodying
sensory-neural obedience,
trust
good faith
good humor
LeftBrain healthy secular Truth
as also
RightBrain safe sacred Beauty,

Then poverty of spirit
is a bitter
exploitive pill to
MonoCapitalistically swallow
before too many competitive weeks
and months pass anxiously by

Without neuro-sensory chastity
invoking my healthy regenerative compassion
only when informed
by universal climax wealth experience
of sacred
nature-spirited poverty
of co-invested
co-infesting
cooperatively creolizing Light
and Power;

Theologically ecological poverty
of StraightWhiteMale divinely-endowed
anthrosupremacism
could best be re-invited
into WinWin cooperative co-investment
when transparently vulnerable
through healthy matriarchal prime Attachment,

Further reinforced
by post-pubescent
sensory-neural sacred climax
worship
and praise,
silent awe
and verbalized
and verbalizing
and reverberating wonder,

Obedience to Taoistically balanced
ego-patrilinear LeftBrain verbalized
through nonviolently, multiculturally felt
wants,
healthy co-invested thrusts,
trusts,
truths

As also EcoWomanist
RightBrain sacred felt silence,
integral reception

Green cooperative unitarian communion

Deep listening for empowering
sacred information
inhalation

Also enlightening
dusty secularized disobedience,
pathological need for win/lose subservience,
posturing as win/win obedient
Earth Healers,

Regenerative repairers
of active nonzeroistic healthy ego-hope
from EcoMotherly masters
vowing past
and present
and future
green/blue EarthWealth
revolving compassion.

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Purple Princess

My eighteen yeared daughter
living and dreaming with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,
As she grows up and out
hopes to become

“An old princess
with long purple hair
living in a GroupHome.”

I’m not sure if this indicates
I did a shockingly good
or alarmingly bad
job as a thirteen-year dad
with positive therapeutic intent.

Until she smiles,
looks up at the blue-grey sky
with unimagined delight.

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January’s Dark Light

Dear Sacred Son,

I realize this feels like a Win-Lose
New Game Year,
with you as “Loser”
and so it is,
a self-fulfilling prophecy
equally as powerful
as if you could find a way to choose
this as a Win-Win Game
opportunity, with only shorter term risks likely,
with you as CoWinner
and so it would be,
your new year self-fulfilling prophetic resolution.

January strikes each new year with tough love
messages everywhere you see time’s cold harsh claw
fang of Lose-Lose angry threat of fears,
self and other hatred
of political and economic
and personal and familial hypocrisies,
thinking we might ever Win through trying
Love’s narrow path
between Angry memories
and their foreshadowing winterish dark Fear
of freezing death.

Especially true, perhaps,
without Advent advantage of more positively waiting
in elational CoMessianic Expectation
during December,
hosting Winter’s Solstice
Transition from Win-Win new year expectation
into Lose-Lose ego pay-it-forward investment
in eco-health and therapy
by divesting of Ego v. Eco SuperCompetitive Pathology.

Even, if not especially,
in cold freezing heart of January,
it feels good and warm to remember Present EcoPresence,
Interior Landscape as cold, cold Exterior Winter Landscape
of dipolar revolution
toward Summer’s Win-Win regenerative wealth maturation,
whether incarnate or no longer,
either way,
this year is likely to get much better
within six months,
before things start to shake down
for the next round.

Perhaps it helps to imagine your Interior Landscape
as already experiencing July’s warm climaxing Beloved Community,
worshiping together in verdant gardens and fields,
or just sitting in front of any RealTime old-rooted tree
or sublimely octaved unfolded flower,
or imagining the beauty of human bicamerally unfolding
eco-centric balancing temporal-neural nature
and culture
and iconic language patterns and rhythms,
and information and bicameral communication systems,
and history of science and psychology and ecology and evolution,
and then a nap

As warm radiant light
baptizes me in cosmic atmospheric bright
drifting toward another January sunny afternoon,
Interior Landscaping for Win-Win EcoPlay.

Your Always Loving, but also Retiring,

Dad

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Sharing Challenged Selfies

Thx so much for sharing.

 

It is good to step into Dysfunction’s eyes

when we were apart,

perhaps to see him for a second

as one who has not met him,

and fall in love with his perfection once again.

 

Then,

to recognize this one

as cherished part of you,

and us,

still enraptured with his presence.

 

RE:  Daquan, my son,

physically blind,

unable to speak,

metaphysically complete perfection

singing fine songs,

dreaming compelling stories

of nightflight’s present futures.

Read more at: http://www.poetrysoup.com/member_area/submit_poems.aspx

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