Uncategorized

Why I Am Here

At the Planet Gym
embodying my best business
when suddenly I wonder

Why am I here?
repeats
and repeats
in my wandering ear

And what magic
might appear

Isn’t that queer?
Not WHY am I here
with these Straight People

because this overpopulated question
may obscure other
quieter
ambidextrously resourceful directions
less shaded by fear
of robust diversity

I suppose
But, what can I hear
about why am I here?
and not over There
on the Other side

What two-sided relationships
would I need
to become fully here today?
and all seasons yet to arrive
in this sacred home of People
Plants
and PlanetEarth

With gratitude,
I supposeā€¦
but, Why am I here
again?

Cannot mean
only those purposes and means
asso-sedated with my home address
and sometimes needy
sometimes hostile
[downright spankin mean]
neighbors

More creature comforts,
certainly
AND we search for sacred meaning
inside
more intimate

Spiritual enlightenment
perhaps shyer,
timid
early childhood Loser-Trauma

Drama messages
win/lose valuable

Vulnerable communications
with imperfect win/win transparent closets

Hiding chronic stress histories
of anxiety
longing for sacred peace,
or even just a secular piece, you know,
now and again

For chronic stress,
anxiety

Longing for peace
or restored ego-resilience,
or at least a restored recliner

Happiness, and a marketable craft
and EarthMother teaching skills

For relearning not sad gladness
in hope,
joy
in anticipation,
gratitude
for opportunities
to co-invest
in always interesting neighbors

In the Planet Gym
mindbodying
our best health business.

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Uncategorized

Learning From Loss

The hardest losses
are those too late to repair
what has been win/win time lost
to despair

Just as love
cannot co-arise
where fear grows
fully uprisen
a prison
predicting anger’s nearby
impetuously apprised
surprise.

So too,
Freedom cannot thrive
where addiction has hard helped
us feel we are not softly worthy
to survive

“Loser” labelled struggles
with addiction
cannot feel free of affliction
nor can giving in
to addiction’s short-term affections,
powers to feel escape
from personal
and communal,
economic
and political,
monocultural
and monotheistic
OverPowers

Social judgment,
blame
and shame,
co-detachment
non-communication
developing hard
stiffly cold silent screaming
excommunication

Depressing loneliness
isolation
self-ostracization issues
win/lose closeted
fear-based shame defenses
against Old School GoldenRule
loss of co-invested love
offenses.

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Nature Nurturing Questions

Why is misery said to love company
while depression demands solitude?

And
is it always true that nature abhors a vacuum
and/or
sometimes true nurture adores expansion?

Misery,
depression,
anxiety,
negatively respond to trauma.

Negatives do not look for like company
but can positively appreciate co-passionate listeners,
lit up not not glisteners,
dark solitude
giving sway
power
light
to more festive solidarity

Negative energy,
entropy
transforming toward
positive integrity,
synergy

Perhaps reparations
restorations
regenerations
reassure these positive feelings
to grow increasingly rational
as negative trauma events
continue to outreach,
and/or discontinue to inreach,
our cooperative,
and/or competitive,
therapeutic plans
problem-solving designs
rational regard
healthy projections
wealthy predictions
positive anticipations
and/or negative anxieties
about recession
depression
oppression
suppression
negative impression
retribution sticks
are not restoring carrots.

Misery loves solidarity
when ready for some kinda manic,
co-therapeutic
good-humored
win/win enthusiastic
spirited
dynamic problem-solving

Outside depression’s
BusinessAsUsual
secularized
severing
secretive locked box,
brain-and-body stormy,
rather than embodied brain full storming
love’s transcendent positive possibilities

Why does re-creative planning
to heal our polymorphic
whole open organic
thinking systems
co-passionately co-invest shared feelings?
negative through positive,
not negative non-zero positive
regifting anticipations.

Why do depression
anxiety
misery viciously
and virally escalate
in isolation?
excommunicated vacuums
of discommunication

Absorbing left-hemisphere
self-wounding negative labels
for feelings of Introspective Loser
UnreNouned Retard
Dirty Nigger
Floozy Faggot
Bull Dyke
Silly Sissy
Flaming Fool
if not selfing shame
then othering blame,
felt trauma nurtured fear
rebecoming terror’s natural anger.

Why do victims of past win/lose
wallow in a perennial vacuum
denying communal
win/win therapeutic
integrity?

When does compassionate solidarity
abhor unnatural trauma events
and dispiriting nurtured
disempowering denatured
misery
post-traumatic stress disorders
chronic depression
feelings of all is lost?

Loser Ego
re-cognizing Loser EcoCommunity
inside/outside despair,

Disrepair
beat down
defeated
by monopolistic
monoculturing traumatic
weed-choked aggressions

Despite what we hoped
would become a cooperatively managed
organic
health paradise
wealth-resilient garden

Rather than a silent
demilitarized
remilitarizing zone

Fearing I will awake
to yet another day
alone

Abandoned
unable and unwilling to be heard

Asking this loser victim
of self shame
and callous Othering myopic
and epic
blame

Why s/he abhors emotionally negative vacuums
yet silently loves
therapeutic positive ideals

Of communities communicating,
win/win company
co-empowering win/lose problem-solving

To repair
restore
replace chronic trauma risks
with potential therapeutic opportunities
for ecosystemic
ego-extending
co-passionate communication

Decelerating win/lose traumatized communities
of monoculturing trauma climates
by restorying risks of isolating anxious vacuums
with opportunities to anticipate company
healthy community
wealthy solidarity
nonviolent communication

Deep and wide feelings
re-membering eco-matrimonial
panentheistic
sacred integrity’s questions

About primally warm
well-moisturized
glistening
listening
integrity of sacred swelling
wells.

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Health ReNewing Years

Polymorphic design
for kids from one
to ninety-two
wondering how to see
local through global
EarthJustice trauma prevention
more clearly through

When we recognize
what inspires healthy polycultural design
of polypathic minds
and multiculturing bicameral hearts
and polyphonic non-zero zone
resonant souls

Is both stress-reductive
good humored
win/win strategic practice
and good trauma-informed contextual governance

For safe
and happy co-governance

Then,
in this Here and Now
renewing year,
healthy business
and safe good humor
will no longer appear like two
incompatible win/lose
either/or
universal Left
v. unitarian Right

Monoculturing Yang dominant
v. polytheistic yin prominent
antagonistically competing WorldViews
v. EarthJustice GoodNews
indigenously opulent wisdom.

Here and Now becomes
our Christ Mass
Pagan Solstice
polypathically healthy
and polytheistically safe
polycultural co-governing
Earth PeaceTrain

PolyMathic win/win happy
socially wealthy
and Earth double-binding wise
co-binary refrain

Merry ChristMass
PaganSolstice
light peace and dark justice
with you

Is MeWe
two thousand twenty three
universal unitarian
West and Eastern hemispheres
north and south
up and down
out and in
Yang wuwei Yin
cooperatively co-managed
prosperity.

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When Profound Feels Sacred

My youngest
of three AfricanAmerican adopted sons
has profound nonwhite
nonstraight
nonverbal cerebral palsy.

Profound
in at least not being privileged
or victimized
by internal LeftBrain dominance,
violent micro-aggressions,
zero-sum competitive thinking

Either positively True and Good
or negatively False and Bad,
laughable
or humorless

Sacred indigenous consciousness
feels more Right-Elder brainstem
bodymind nondualistic synergy
friendly energy
which is my son’s political blessing
and his capital secularizing
segregating
colonizing
economic disabled curse.

Youngest son communes
with music
more fluidly co-empathic
than linguistic communications

He touches
and sings
and chants
through echoing shouts
and exclamatory barks,
short nonphonetic phrases,
lip smacking,
and belly laughs.

When he cries,
which is seldom,
he cries silently

No vocal cords

Profound inhaling wet gasps
and exhaling sad sacred shakes.

He laughs unconditionally
from his root chakra
warm unguarded soul
and cries
from his buddha
bicameral eyes.

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Choosing Happy Health

My round white anti-depressants
were trying their faithful best
to listen to my ecofeminist
wise old woman
gardening neighbor,
pulling aggressive weeds

Sharing with me
her morning meditation reflection
immediately after entering dawning eyes
and before exiting her dreamy
comforting
fertile bed

Her opening
and excavating self-invitation
to choose body health nutrition
and mind happiness nurturing
which are snugly associated
for her
like peas and carrots
remembering well-versed voice
intention

But,
not so much for me,
now able to choose health
almost every dawning day
and dusky night
but still struggling
for post-traumatic omnipotence
to thrive toward happiness
by empowered choice,
even if not enlightened voice
articulating all the many thankful ways
remembering well-cultivated rejoice.

What my gardening neighbor
and I speak of
feels like my dull
and darkly present
spatial stuck unchanging place

Which she
unlike me
can also remember
as having evolved through time
from current EarthTribe regenerating days
becoming nurturing seasons
within each annual surviving incarnation

Reversing back toward warm
welcoming first dawn light’s
empowering sacred
thriving invitation.

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Therapeutic Performance

Talk therapy
among braver angels
and curious devilish advocates,

Evolves natural contemplative thoughts
felt sacredly neuro-systemic
reconnecting sensory consciousness
and mindful sexual experience
with worldviews recombining
Liberal Truth and Conserving Beauty
in co-empathic compassion

Nonviolently hopeful
win/win bicameral intelligence
exploring why

And healthy when

And safely now
remembering all those many public times
I have found relief from anxiety
and depression
and silent panic,
when performing sacred word
and sung gospel lyrics,
on a raised universal stage
of punishing judges,
angry blamers,
potential shamers,
angry jealous demonizers

Sitting naked
as any other mammal,
trying not to think about mating
or hunger abating
or thirst creating
transparent
and vulnerable needs
for effective
and safe
mindbody root communications.

Eastern and Western mystics
both multiculturally speak
and deeply listen
to internal causes of ego suffering
as clinging to past naked loser
embarrassing victimization
predicting inevitable failure
to win/win cooperatively thrive.

Not letting go
of our individual
autonomously
privately
shamefully wounded naked
and dependent child

Unable to grasp
through sufficient public health
and safely clothed
cared for experience

Unable to trust
love’s ultimately victorious possibilities
of win/win adult healthy
co-empathic
neuro-sensory peak experiences

Of joy,
contentment,
healthy peace,
nurturance,
fullness without gluttony,
abundance without naked insufficiency
felt as sustainable developmental progress

Of life synonymous with love
vulnerably enlightened
nakedly empowering
widely speaking
while deeply listening
for cooperative
inclusive
naked EarthTribe memories
polyculturally good-humored
as regeneratively accessible
embodied
micro-economies of tribally
co-invested thrival

Liberally free to love
in nakedly erotic summers
of sensory exotic anticipation

Conservatively free from hate
and terror
against closed
and clothed
covered winters
of hibernating
siloed dissociation

Feeling morbidly anxious
in win/lose capital hierarchical
political economies of scarcity,
shame,
humiliation,
loss and suffering,
death and disease
hidden under layers
of indecent respectability.

Naked EarthTribe mammals
notice a normally positive communicating
interdependently robust
multisensory species
not so LeftBrain foolishly confused
to distinguish between
transcendent radiant SunLight
and nurturing love of God’s healthcare,
voiceless
and most effective
when sleeping
and singing
and speaking nakedly.

Sometimes,
not often enough,
talking cooperative co-therapists
encourage our wounded naked child within
to let go
of idolizing LeftBrain capital value supremacy.

Life does not normally
neuro-systemically
unfold only from the neck up
and out
to other clothed-down
talking heads,
preferring to pretend
we did not all begin
as nakedly sexual-sensory Emperors
and Empresses
and sometimes transgenderally
and/or bicamerally,
in-between communionators.

Underneath our camouflage
of believing feelings,
positive and negative
and various degrees of in-between
naked hope
and silent despair,
should follow reason

We can still remember
root sensory truths
of feelings anticipating
LeftBrain dominant thoughts
contemplating severance,
dissociation,
Either/Or proper
prim challenges
to Both/And non-binaries,
Truth v Beauty
an alien cover-up
against multicultural
inter-religious
intersectional diversity

Where lives
our greatest peaks of joy
and valleys of nakedly wounded despair,
our intuitive resonance
and cognitively contemplated dissonance,
our resiliently divine
polypaths toward multi-regenerational
win/win potential

To sing out
and in,
widely
and deeply,
LeftBrain universally
and RightBrain unitarian
nakedly healthy integrity
appreciating fully developed talk therapy

Celebrating health
and safely sufficient EarthMothers
quietly amused
while silently singing
star spangled banners
invoking linear reasoned words
encircling RightBrain
naked
birthing
wet warm feelings

For all our world-staged leaders,
left and right
and nonbinary in-between,
naked as jaybirds
underneath all our cloth-closed
furs
and hair
and multiculturally wealthy skin.

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Reasonable Anticipations

Our Left hemispheres repeatedly seek stable reassurance,
hopefully not so much about

Am I the fairest/ugliest
of ThemOthers all?

But more maturely
rationally
sedately
calmly
compassionately,
Am I sustainably healthy?
How am I healthy/unhealthy?
Eased/not diseased?

Meanwhile,
Right hemisphere follows a similar question
of healthy/unhealthy purpose,
but more intuitively systematic,
more about inter-relationship,
about felt content and known context.

If healthy
confluent consciousness,
then why
and when
are we safe/unsafe?

A constantly repeated question
of healthy rational purpose,
or not,

But also,
more deeply,
more sacredly felt,
a quest for safe co-passionate meaning
in relationship to
and from
our progenitor gifts

Our indigenously wise
nature/spirit together felt fellow
hearty
hardy
hale anthro-familials,

Residents of spirit-natured
Yang mountain forests
and Yin river valleyed mellow meadows,

Animals,
animated insects,
birds and beasts,
bisexual flowers
and bilateral branch and root nutrition systems,

Bicameral hope
for bipartisan gifts
of bilaterally contextual
MeHealth and WeSafety intelligences

Binomially aware feelings
of why MeWe feels safer
on warm sunny days
and more unsafe
on cold dark nights
outside

Predicting
and appreciating how LeftBrain thinks
notices
processes

I am healthy
and unhealthy,
democratically green compassionate
and autocratically red virulent.

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Gifted Doorways

“Grief can be a doorway to love.”
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass

Grief can open toward gratitude
As loss can open doors to access gain

As trauma can open hearts
to therapeutic brains

As neglect can foster curious compassion

As depression
can incite active
co-empathic impressions

As double negative sociopathologies
can notice doorways
to positive psychologies

As double-binding
dualdark entropy
can open space
for positive double-binary energy strings
of co-empathic
multiculturing time

As isolating sadness
can open doors
to love’s transcendent gladness.

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Healthier Questions

What is my great anticipation,
active hope,
passion,
at this time
in my compassionate life,
in this EarthTribe
sacred place?

Perhaps nothing more,
nothing less,
than to discover
and daily rediscover
neighbors
leaders
teachers
parents
adolescents
children
asking this same health and safety question
in this same integral
and beautiful
nonviolent communicating Way.

What is our great anticipation,
active healthy hope,
wealthy passion
at this time
in our co-passionate lives
and livelihoods
on this EarthTribe sacred planet?

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