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Final Farewell

Enjoy our parting day
the young girl child,
now full-grown wise Elder,
reminded me,
the brother she had taught to flex male muscle
without overbearing her Sister Gaia powers.

On this classic sun-baptizing fragrant May morning,
reflecting this same gently caressing day I was born
into earlier centuries of flowering cultures,
she prepares to leave me
perhaps forever
as the length of our pilgrimage together
grows long enough to tip more poignant hello
into operatic final exit goodbyes.

I remember what I might have felt at two,
when she joined me
inviting me into our special shared world,
loving our polycultural identities,
nondual twins since infant-fairy magic,
not having previously known
how lonely love is without her.

Now, to stare remaining years ahead
without seeing and feeling her morning through evening present voice,
facing my own ecology of each Ego identity dying alone,
inevitably without her, or anyone,
dying without incarnate memories
of unconditionally cooperative and active love.

I remember
at two or three,
toddling outdoors in my most terrifying wild ways
exploring gardens and barns
chickens and pigs and milkcow domesticated wildness,
and returning to your crib to report back
all these wonderful worlds we would welcome
if you could only learn to walk and talk
with me.

I need not say farewell
as I learn to see forward as dying
into these deep rich memories
of learning to walk and talk with Sister Gaia’s Welcome,
yet sometimes tipping, Wagon.

Chauvenist anthro-elitism
disappears as we stop over-investing in dominant negative
competitive
Yang, outweighing Yin’s more integrally inclusive flow powers,
politically and economically,
personally and as a species,
intergenerationally and cross-culturally
now under-invested in polyculturing mutual-equity cooperative investments.

What is our mutual time-investment balance on this farewell date?
Do our mutual equity values line up, match, balance, absorb any lifetime losses?
Sister Gaia’s regenerative trends
grow ever deeper cooperative equity-reinvestment designs,
plans,
policies and procedures for further self and other development
through EarthTribe Revolutions,
PolyPathic EcoConsciousness,
WinWin Life as LoveGame Health Theory.

We give evil, dissonant farewells,
nondual negative Janus-faces of Yang/Yin imbalance
power
by seeing these toxins and poisons
and personifications of eviL,
as other than absence of good
Yang/Yin balanced nutritional Co-Creation Stories.

This Final Farewell Memory
eternally coarising
Earth’s Embryonic UnFolding
of Love as stretching BiLateral Time’s Black Hole
(0)Rigin Tipping MidWay ReVolutions
Yang(+) = Yin(-,-)
ThermoDynamic Prime Eulerian Co-ReGenerative Universal Function
Intelligent ZenZero Tao-Balanced fractal RNA-iconic-ionic enlightenment
as Time’s bilaterally unfolding regenerate matters
of EarthTribe’s healthy enculturating-revolving futures.

Final Farewell
remembering my original embryonically environmental Hello,
Here We Are
together again-still
incarnating in and out,
back and forth,
up as down,
Yang-out as Yin-in.

While Autumn farewell bears time’s reputation for messy falls from grace,
this is prophesied in spring seedling beginnings
bearing message memories merging coarising births
of EarthTribe multigenerational,
polypathic,
His/Her Creation Story,
coarising nondual identities,
within Earth’s ecology of regenerate-revolving design,
seasonal praxis,
polyculturally deep enriching outcomes,
by turning down RightFisted AnthroSupremacy
to balance Left/Right Zero-Centric EcoSystemic Investment
and divestment, double-negative equivalent
WinWin DiPolarity Outcomes
ReGenerate Network Game Theory Development
of Form
from BiLateral-Temporal Prime Relational (0)-FractalFunction.

Enjoy this parting day
I have so loved beginning again together,
our mutually co-invested Creation Story.

Enjoy our continuing
final farewell day.

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Who I Am

by Spencer Dillenbeck, my son, age 19

A chunk of clay settling into its mold
A painting yet to dry
A matching hand I cannot hold
A block of cheese before its mold
But even I do not know why
The answer is unknown to me
A rock on the cliff I cannot reach
A phantom I can’t see

I am
ABOMINATION
An amalgamation of the things that have shaped me
But nothing really seems to…
fit?
work?
stay together?
feel… right?
It all feels so…
messy.
needless.
uncomfortable.
unwanted.
The clay has yet to finish molding
But the mold refuses to hold

A painting yet to dry
A matching hand I cannot hold
A block of cheese before its mold
But even I do not know why
The answer is unknown to me
A rock on the cliff I cannot reach
A phantom I can’t see

I am
DEFINITION
A story written by hands that feel foreign
They’re mine, these hands
Surely
The story is mine
Surely
It’s all… nonfiction
Surely
But the ink’s invisible to me
The pictures don’t match the words
Because they aren’t there
But when I watch others take my hands
and paint what I can’t see
It all feels right and natural
It all makes sense to me

A matching hand I cannot hold
A block of cheese before its mold
But even I do not know why
The answer is unknown to me
A rock on the cliff I cannot reach
A phantom I can’t see

I am
DISTRUSTFUL
But perhaps I should explain
I trust those I care for
those I love
And I feel obligated to
They’ve given oh so much to me
It’s the least I can do
But once they put the mirror up
And look into my eyes
I am the only one who cries
I am the only one who sees
my LIES
I can’t let myself stay this way
Too many things I want to change
But it all feels so strange
I can’t take this hand
I can’t take this chance
So many ways to alter my stance
But I feel locked into this trance
In which I glance
into the abyss
And the abyss glances back
I have to look away
I can’t look at this
I can’t look like this
I can’t act like this
I can’t be
this

A block of cheese before its mold
But even I do not know why
The answer is unknown to me
A rock on the cliff I cannot reach
A phantom I can’t see

I am
UNREMARKABLE
I don’t see what people see in me
I’m not special
or talented
or smart
or cool
or trendy
or fashionable
I’m not that finely aged jazz you see on the top shelf
That’s the good stuff
That’s what people think is best
Nobody touches it because they don’t want it to go away
They want it to stay
But I’m left deformed and in pieces
Not because people keep eating me
If that were it, there’d be more me to go around
But, really
I don’t want me
I just give myself away
Piece by piece
Bit by bit
Until nothing’s left
That’s what I think is best

But even I do not know why
The answer is unknown to me
A rock on the cliff I cannot reach
A phantom I can’t see

I am
I am…
I am who I am?
There’s too much I hate
So much to change
Not enough to evaluate
Nothing to see
Not even my glasses give me the sight I need
My eyes just aren’t able to focus
But everyone else has great eyes
Eyes I can use to see me
If I let them like me
change me
evaluate me
see me
Then I can understand
They can tell me
Who
I
am

Now
With all of this in mind, I’m sure
That you can see
That you can tell me
What I need to hear
Make it nice and clear
I’ve waited more than long enough
for this point in time
This fortune of mine
Look into my eyes and show me the truth
Tell me what you see in me
Be my special little sleuth
The only one who can deduce
This mystery of my history
is YOU

Who
am
I?

 

Written in response to my poem, “Who Are You?”

 

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EarthTribe’s Climate Manifesto

We are that we are becoming together.

To and for
and with
each embryonic-creation,
and each ego’s habitat and mindbody properties,
tools and information,
functional frequencies of healthiest is best use,
therefore economically and politically highest,
on a scale from lead through gold.

Ego lead-identity,
with BiCameral Balanced EcoConscious ZeroZeny Soul
emerges Eco’s GoldLogical Rule.

To get our Lead out
of Golden alchemical Rules of EcoLogic
is to replace Ego MindBody incarnating fearful angry identity dominance
with EarthTribe DNA/RNA EcoPolitical Solidarity.

WildRobbering allies
Brezsny Breezing research cooperative assistants
in Earth’s Truth as Beauty Lab,
associate small LeftBrain dominant PlanB Ego-Deduction
of Earth’s Paranoid SunGod
to re-associate CoArising NonDual Right Brain PlanA,
EcoLogical ProNoic-noetic
bilateral-temporally revolving Gaia,
4-seasoned with Her regenerative wisdom Story,
EcoLogic
intelligent growth and decay nutritional information
bicameral DNA-fractal confluence
surrounded by commodifying
domesticating dissonant restraints
of Earth’s climatic nature,
culturing nurture,
Gaia’s Creation Story
as Ego’s self-imaged embryonic enculturation history,
sending messages out toward future ecotherapeutic regenerators,
turning leaded Ego’s
toward EcoEgo Balance,
BiCameral Golden Rules and Ratios,
Elixir SquareRooting fractal-zero primal functions
of DNA/RNA Revolutionary Solidarity,
heat as light
cold as night
neural growth prime mindbody informational function,
Golden Rule of Time’s Great Transitional UnFolding.

Golden Proportion life prevails
or Time’s leaded enculturation fails.

We are a LeftBrain dominant people,
learning to measure our co-empathic potentiated biological side,
our bicameral mindbody ecosystems,
with both endo- and ecto-symbiotic permaculture equivalency
of design and revolutionary regenerative purpose.

We are EcoGestalt ReVolutionary Events,
both continuous and discontinuous
CoMemories conjoining one universal holonic,
ecologically systemic,
cooperatively political and economic
EarthTribe,
regenerating rich deep norms,
dense polycultural resolutions,
originators, designers of Time’s dialectic measures,
emerging toward (0)Riginal PolyNomial Balancing Intent
with Poly(0)MegaPathic EnCulturing Health-Praxis,
in revolutionary solidarity with all RNA thru DNA
syntax-fractal BioSpeciating Open EcoEarthSystem Designers
of each EarthDay.

We are bicameral ecoconscious revolutions
growing in evolutionary continuity
thru resonant confluence
within as without Left-as-Right MindBody
balancing cooperative incorporated incarnated
polypathic harmonies,
arias,
each Ego singing our unique dialect
of one Permaculture Opera,
a Golden Creation Story of LeadasDread Climatic Transitional Events.

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Revolutionary Politics

What’s the difference between a regenerative-revolutionary outcome
and an evolutionary process of gradual redevelopment?

It depends
whether you are talking to the baby
or to the new mom.

But,
if you talk and empathize with both together,
then probably none.

If 2 times 2 is 4
because each 2 is either or
rather than both and,
then why is 1 times 1 not not 1,
but also 2?

If me and you grow two
because each me and you is either or not me or you
yet also both-and me as appositional you,
then are we not both each 1,
so 2,
as one appositive co-defining pair?

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In This Beginning

Exactly where and when does Ego begin,
my creation story introduction,
preface;
and is there anything in there about a sequel?

Identity of EarthTime revolving HeavenlyStimulants,
autonomic memory unfolding Ego’s storage capacity,
regeneratively biased in favor of time’s continuance,
dipolar dynamics of balance and diastatic-diastolic harmony,
evolving Ego-function rooted in Elder PrimeTime’s
seasons of light and dark landscapes.

Birth through young adulthood
diastolic trending eco-biosystems,
and then from mature adulthood on through disbirth
decompositional interior processing trends
reviewing regenerative exterior experiential forms with ecofunctions
sinking deeply into ecoconscious CoPresent Great Transition
diastatic (0)-soul TaoTime of Yang/Yin co-arising elation,
surfing love of regenerating time ourselves,
reincarnations of all prior generations of history,
children of Earth’s RNA Tribes,
eco-polyconscious TransPresent bicameral memory
refold storage
RE: investment and divestment
for future regenerating health v. pathology

TO: Ego-Identity bicameral flowstream incubators

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Zen Logic of Time

I imagine the ecological sciences
as interior formal, and not so formal, systemic voices,
speaking of biological sciences
as exterior systemic function,
biology evolves what ecology resolves,

Ecology refines healthy regenerative biological reasons
for cooperative ecotherapeutic intent,
practice,
design,
and development
of a therapeutic political and economic
under-creationstory,
propelling past toward future.

Each ego incarnation is a discontinuous biological string
of co-arising ego-centric constellations,
emerging toward ecology’s continuous interdependent celebration,
sacred transparent Bright of night’s full moon diastatic dream,
eco-weaving ecocentric Wisdom
of beloved EarthTribe’s perpetual eco-empathic network,
reading Time’s SelfAsOther implicating icons
of co-enculturing language.

Healthy self-perpetuating ecosystems,
including human bioegosystems,
are WinWin dominant
over WinLose,
and are also LoseLose co-recessive,
aversive especially to mutually aversive.

When I notice LoseLose trends in a relationship,
or transaction, I am likely to mention it.
See if others agree.
Then talk together
about what this implies
to reverse-face toward WinWin bio-ecology.

Mindbodies are biological
and therefore ecological
and therefore follow political and economic rules
of natural health v. pathological disorder,
an absence of order
that regenerates square-rooted
in RNA’s dipolar sensitivity
to light and dark
as warm polycultural cooperative WinWin trend
and
cold monocultural LoseLose
dia-empathic “death” trend
of aptic Absence of CoPresence.

Ecologic is
to genius,
as too wild mindbody is
to biologic discontinuity of ecoconsciousness.
Bicameral regenesis
is co-empathic prime function
balancing pregenesis of bilateral Time.

Ecologic midway genius
is exotic, erotic,
uncommodifiable,
free of domesticating restraints of biology’s ego-incarnation,
primal Tao of Time’s TransParent CoElationship.

Culture is dynamic nature
emerging through RealTime.
All nature, including biological-bicameral human nature,
is ecologically syntaxed culture’s evolution
through revolutionary space
as time’s co-arising refolding egoleft OVER eco-right
cosmological consciousness of eco-bilateral time.

Bicameral ecoconsciousness grows in continuity
density and fertility,
resonant confluence,
with Left-Right mindbody
cooperative polypathic Golden Rule,
polynomial Golden Ratio,
polycultural Golden Elixir RNA/DNA harmonic co-relationship,
nutrient-strings of ReGenerative Health-Systemic InFormation.

We are co-empathic potentiated
biological-bicameral mindbody ecosystems,
learning to see our Leftbrain Ego
as discontinuous Eco-RNA/DNA dia-gestalt memories,
conjoined through holonic ecological systemic syntax,
cooperative political and economic norms
for regenerating rich, deep, dense ecological
and polycultural
revolutions of Time’s emergent midway primal memory string,
conjoining (0)riginal Intent
with Poly(0)MegaEnculturing HealthPraxis,
in revolutionary solidarity
as all RNA/DNA EarthTribes

Life and information prevail,
or time’s continued enculturation fails
and falls, elapses back into diastatic noise.

This difference between informing life
and noisy chaos,
is distinction between cultural context
and absence of relationally accessible temporal rhythm,
failure of spaciated pattern resolution,
just as the difference between bio-cultured life
and ecosystemically wild monocultural Absence
of bilateral-fractal-octave-temporal prime relationship balance
co-arises bilateral EcoBalance exterior landscapes,
with PostMillennial Ego/EcoConscious regenerating interior landscapes.

Possible binary-binomial dialect-balancing language
might include WinWin fractal gaming 4D cooperative networks,
reverse-tree structures
rooted in notice U-Fold
designed with C-UnFold DiPolar Balance,
developing A-ReFold BiCameral EcoSystemically Dialectic root-branch harmony,
co-arising G-PreFold Prime-Fractal threshold
toward ReGenerate:
U++ Convex temporal-neural-PolyNomial trend
equals (-,-) DiPolar Concave Not(NotPolyNomial) double-reverse balance trend
mythosed as YinYin and wu wei
Tipping EcoLogical RevolutionaryTransition Points
in and down and up, but always halfway out,
toward ZeroPresent universal co-empathic ecoconsciousness.

Ecological purposes of time
predict biological functions of emerging organic places

Or, maybe not enough time
to unfold all these ways of noticing time.

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Suicidal Notes

Do you sometimes wonder about your self identity
seen through your lens for suicidal risk as opportunity?

It interests me that this lens
evolves as we age.

In later adolescence,
we often look in the face of transition
from good nutritional outcomes on a small stage
about to enter more competitively sharkish waters
within a significantly larger landscape.

Or so I focused my lens in my younger lack-time of wonder.
Not sure why or how these same transitions did not also apply
to nearly all those nonsuicidal 18-24 year olds,
enjoying a more Positive Psychology.

But now, in later adulthood,
I more often look in the face of a potential suicide
as one with at best mediocre outcomes
on a too-small stage,
often familial, or lack thereof,
about to enter no stage at all,
thinking maybe why postpone this mortal inevitability
of decay.

From younger suicides,
“What would be the point of continuing
this WinLose Game,
when we all feel RealTime drill,
you never clearly win
until you stop losing,
and you never stop losing,
until you stop playing.
Clearly I am about to lose
what I don’t feel all that great about
ever having won
at others’ expense.”

From older suicides,
“What was the point
of taking so long
to end this rigged Lose to Lose
death-embracing game
called life?”

It feels like these despair and suffering questions
co-arise within exponentially more of us,
asking echoing silos
as our encultured Earth moves
into a new revolutionary millennium.

Given the now nearly inevitable demise
of our polyculturally and climatically climaxing
exterior and interior lenses
of healthy hope v. toxic pathological
and monocultural decline
of ecological
and economic
and political balance,
how do we know
we are more than an overpopulating parasitic blight
riding Earth’s mortuary-in-waiting
where Elders remind was once
a healthy regenerative place
to continue living?

Yet it is so important to notice
not only all despairing souls
jumping off roofs
but also healthfully repairing souls
building polyculturally positive-deviant landscapes
of organic and synergetic opportunity,
cooperative networks of resonant resolve
sounding Time’s dipolar appositional
issues of despair as opportunities to repair,
still seeking reasonable,
yet deviant,
hope for shared regenerational vocations,
with WinWin reiterating integrity.

No ego is autonomously responsible
for feelings or thoughts,
ideation or even beliefs.
So it is no one’s right to judge feelings,
our own feelings,
the feelings-beliefs-ideas of others
as unacceptable or somehow cosmically dysfunctional,
condemning or worthy of global applause
is to take all that we have been given
far too personally,
too unrealistically removed from comparative
and nuancing context
to discern how we might choose to carry on.

It is our responsibility,
personally, and as a species,
to notice trends of suffering and despair,
compared to trends of multisystemic diversity,
polycultural density of nutritional choices,
ranges of harmonic freedom and healthy cultural balance,
as they appear to reflect
and not reflect
our shared experience to date.

Not to judge and condemn failures and despair,
but to praise our most regenerative successes
and love for equitably accessible hope
to include all Earth’s cooperative economy
among our emerging synergetic Tribe
of curious interests.

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Earth Tune

I love our richtimes
moments stolen from starched yesterdays,
we live warm steam scentimes
through future’s dark crimes.

I miss our deep earthtones
our space for free reign
before we missed race rhymes
shouting thin through shared bones.

I know our lovetones
our place for free form
we fly empathic spacetime
where Earth’s reasons have rhymes.

I love your vast humor,
co-passion with fools,
your red flows rich manna
free grow golden schools.

We live our fast rumor
compassion’s love fool.
To love co-paced echo
co-rise life’s kind cruel.

 

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Primal Identity–ReMix

EcoTherapy grows primal health and vigor identity,
we are only, and always, integrity’s cooperative therapeutic potential.

All else creates fantasy, disillusion, empty myth,
both dissonant and resonant creation stories
unfolding eco-cultural nutrients,
hidden within history’s hard-bound revolutionary dipolar covers
of time’s regenesis.

Create optimal identity dimming ego’s dominance.
Incarnate global resonance
as silence invites ringing waves of universal absent rhythm.

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ZenGarden Moonlight

What might be your perfect way
to awake with joy and gratitude each morning
within this new day
of opportunity and mourning?

For me,
this morning’s epiphonic awakening
into Beloved Paradise,
would open my eyes to a full bright winter moon
shining through my bedroom window
greeting pale yellow dawn
fading starlit sky of not quite night.

To awake fully conscious
I am more than loved
and seldom feared
or cause for anger,
if only because I am,
as are all Earth’s re-creations,
reborn Full Moon’s eco-fertile nurturing love,
and reverse-time elliptical fear of climatic Ego death
into EcoLife’s Full Moon Climax,
and pouty dual-dark transparent Absence,
of full bilateral revolving Moon’s regenerate-therapy light
day, transparent-linked with night’s transition dreaming
drenched in Full Moon’s light,
realizing I have another hour
before that fearful angry alarm goes off,
and I once again wake up to Business As Usual
EgoLeft, too-Yang dominant to remember
Full Moon’s designing bright
flowing time’s self-promoting dreams as Love
defined-deduced-reduced by DualDark Absence.

We ReGenerate therapeutic-intended natural gardens by day,
revolving Love’s sacred spiritual FullMoon Buddhabody by night,
Ego as EcoTime’s light AND dualdark
FullSelf-Conscious
BiLaterally Revolutionary Moon,
zen-centered toward and around Earth,
radiant and gratefully double-bound
eco-gravity balance,
in octave-fractal frequent waves of light
and not=faith-in-not-yet
co-arising risk+opportunity.

What might be our perfect way
to start and end each day
with humane/divine timely dreams
of peace-stretching polypathic nights?

From whence derive awakening reborn transitions,
watering polyculture-garden love
drowning past and future Ego-monoculture,
Absence of fertile NighTime conversation.

We dance with dreams of grandfather Sun’s universal time.
We dream in chains,
dualdark yet transparent,
of grandmother Moon’s Full and Dark,
love-medicine v pathology, Times.

But, what do I know
about consciousness of rhythm and rhyme,
I’ve been up for hours,
all ecologically regenerative wealth
evaporated with the rising sun.

I suppose this is the “mourning” side
of night’s re-creative Absence.

At noon my mind bows East and West,
spiritual practice shapes liturgical rites
and steps of each gardening day,
as regenerate natural intent shapes non-linguistic flow
and function of each night,
investing with emergent Elders
from DNA’s EarthTribal Voice
of streams,
and seasons,
atmospheric sea,
and eco-gravitating moon’s forest light.

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