Uncategorized

Too Long Past Due

What’s the point of suicide
when I feel already dead inside?

Too long past due
pulling breath’s last plug
last gasp
last primal scream
for and against capital colonizing campaigns
but acted out in dizzying silent mime,
rumored to be a scary thing
this last big surrendering event
before unconsciousness
of changing time
marching inevitably forward
and backward,
out
and back in
until no more back
or in.

But what frightens this fading identity most,
No one will know a difference,
notice I’m different,
least of all
decaying from within
me.

Already unconscious
subconscious,
merely skirting conscious life
precedes flirting with absence of awareness,
burning bridges
pulling life plugs
turning out my lights
already too dark to hear
fear memories
too alarming to feel
images
too disarming to care for power
for light

Too defining
future past experience
enlightening
too long
refining
past due
healing
organic capital investments
ourselves
too long overdue.

Standard
Uncategorized

The Climatic Collaboratory

I don’t recall whose inspired idea it wasn’t
to invite the math professor
into our Therapeutic Collaborative Laboratory.

I do recall when I first heard her speak
of cooperative polynomial qualities
for improving ego/eco-therapeutic communications.

She was, of course,
in the back of the room.
I noticed her on my way in,
wondering if she might be a drag queen
prepared to go onstage during our Tea Dance,
scheduled much later on this sultry summer day
at Unitarian University,

Where all our truths combined are universal,
and no segregated truth
could possibly be trusted
without timeless collaborative scrutiny,
labored oratory
struggling to survive another day
in this urgent spacetime Laboratory.

I don’t remember
exactly what the facilitator’s question was,
but our topic was how to best quantify
evidence for Continuous Quality Improvement
of HealthCare
for Earth
and for all EarthTribes of interdependently webbing life.

I do remember
she did not raise her hand,
nor ask for the wooden talking stick,
but barged right in and on
as if bottled up impatience
could be spilled
to fill this collaborative space
through time.

“In MacroEconomic studies,
ecological and political resilient health care
empowers optimization
through co-passionate
co-operative
capital-investment,
or at least this seems true
whether inclined toward LeftBrain polypathic
or RightBrain polyphonic, better sung than said, muse-theory.”

Silence ensued
as both our lefts and rights
invited a collaborative exchange
to see if we might individually
and then collectively
make any sense of this,
but she went on to fill this vacuum
with nervous left-brain inferior interior complexities…

“Resilient health care consumer optimization
is also organic health care producer creolization,
together pursuing win/win resonant attachments
best when rooted in trust-based
deep learning cooperative communication”

“But, optimizing such resilience
invites a balanced collaborative event
in which left-hemisphere polypaths
find equal interdependent rights
within not-not co-passionate teachings
against lose/lose degenerative
unnatural
untruth trends,
AND
right-hemisphere poly-musicians
artistic talent refines win/win regenerative
sacred
co-operative
interdependent
wealth-orchestral trends.”

Such resonance was unprecedented
in our Collaboratory.
Silence,
now compromised by some soft slight snoring sounds,
continued.

“This bilateral balancing algorithmic metaphor
notices Tit for Tat Win/Win game strategies
are left-hemisphere deduced
as either EgoTit or EcoTat,
while our laboratory’s right-hemisphere induces both EgoTit
and EcoTat more heuristically held
in alpha rhythms co-arising integrity
of +1 universal polynomial language
equals (-,-)0-sum-core,
a more co-present uniting interdependent web
of not yet Yang and not yet Yin double boundaries
in our internal yin/yang bilateral spacetime labs

For prime 4D cooperative Tit/Tat
resilient DNA regenerative
optimization trends.”

I don’t recall
if this was the tipping over point I fell asleep
or if I did continue with more lucid notes

“Like the co-passionate original relationship,
health/secular and wealth/sacred co-empowering interrelationships
of thymine and cytosine,
adrenaline and oxytocin,
testosterone and estrogen,
x and y polynomial binomials 1 and 0
ecologically numerological
ego-unitarian integrity
and eco-habitat’s EarthUniverse balance
when (+) equals double-binding binomial (-,-)
interdependently health resilient
cooperatively harmonic,
not so chaotically competitive.”

I turned over
in this Collaborastoried silent rest,
wondering how long before recess
so we could go outside
to sing and Tea Dance
with the drag queen in the back row.

“Resonance, like music,
is not so chaotically competitive
and not so complexly,
darkly negative breeding negative
chronically stubborn left-hemisphere supremacy
secularizing predative either/or thinking
while evolutionary feelings,
if external v internal
then internal v external climates of dissonance, degenerative
mistrust within chronic dominant aggressives,
creating rabidly critical climates
of monoculturing despair,
hopelessness about future resilience
of healthy
humane
democratic
multicultural self/other-governing resonance
of all spacetime Collaboratories.”

It briefly occurred to me,
with some rush of paranoid alarm,
maybe the math professor’s laboratory
has no Off switch.

“Metaphor
within meta-collaboratory systems
within interdependent webs
and strings of bilateral time
and umbilical nature/spirit nutritional cords
of passionate co-attachment relationship
speak and listen back through space
toward our original tipping point
of bilateral co-arising
4Dimensional fractal/octave ZeroZone
timeless
spaceless
not insufficient not time
co-gravitating yang/yin health
found inside regenerative nature/spirit ZeroCore sums
co-arising win/win soul algorithmic networks
curiously exploring integral collaboratory health potential.”

I remember walking out
in side by side silence,
induced by sleep
or seduced by alpha rhythmic slumber
or deduced within Earth’s win/win gaming spacetime
I don’t remember
if the math professor
really was a drag queen,

But, I do remember
she was sitting
then standing,
listening
then speaking
from the back right through left row.

Standard
Uncategorized

Symphonic Swim

When I allow myself
to become an understoried note,
I hear our symphony co-relationally composed of
rhythms
patterns
pauses
silence
cacophony
measures
color
tone
tunes harmonic,
dissonant,
diminished,
subconcious sub-objective underlying creation stories
recreationally sung together
better than just loudly marching apart,

This bilateral muse awareness
releases me from fundamentalistic win/lose salvation stories
and allows this ego-moment to live freely,
yet securely interdependent,
co-passionately win/win present.

When I ego live
connected within co-present eco-source,
I hear no impossible disconnect,
no hard-line severance between nature-left
and spirit-right,
no bipolar either/or deductive
reductive conclusion;

There is, instead,
only both/and boundless win/win integral possibility
and endless round
timeless ego/eco-rational
interdependent truths.

Standard
Uncategorized

Peaceful Revolutions

History
as we shall see
is inevitably
win/win felt revolutionary resonant
more powerfully experienced
than win/lose evolution
thought theoretically resilient.

Technology of YangNature,
like ecology of sacred YinNurture
begins with regenerative secular tools
for Yang’s original EarthPatriotic intentions

As seen and felt
in seasonal choreography,

Economies of nutrition tales
and transactional double-boundary strings
of double-binding attachment
to win/win multicultural health outcomes

And ecofeminist re-attaching holistic circle cords
whisper epic revolutionary rhetorical events,

Life song evolution stories
of unchoreographed spontaneity,
win/win tools for freedom
to dance with yin-spirit
more graceful integrity
than marching monoculturally
in service of LordMaster
mono-egotistic
autonomous, so venomous,
PatriarchalYang.

Feminist theologians,
like ecologicians,
urge us to refrain from devolutionary lose/lose narratives
apocalyptically dominating our sacred win/win climate view.

We seem,
at our optimistic best,
ambivalently capable
of re-creating our own leftbrain dominant
technocentrically industrious destruction
of Earth’s original organic multicultural operations,

Cooperative muses of sound,
breath,
rhythm,
pattern,
pitch,
tone,
touch,
feel,
smell,
tasting secular health without
sacred wealth within

ReMembering raw spot pathology events
with competitive distrust
and divestment,

SelfRighteously justifying our weapons
for severing nature’s healthy future
from spirit’s robust wealthy past
sweet spot renaissance complexities
musically resonant history
ecologically resilient,

LeftBrain dominant
worshiping RightBrain pre-eminent
original EarthMother creolization,
co-acclimating tool
for transubstantiating
individuation of Yang/Yin identity balance
double-binding co-perseverance,
co-passionate
ego/eco-therapeutic non-weapons
for true wealth success
worshiping beauty of Earth’s historic PeaceMuse
communion.

Dissonant music recreates
our own leftbrain dominant destroyer
of multiculturally robust outcomes
now evolving into a radically different left/right harmonic creature
we have no reason to fear
or suspect of becoming any relationship less than a healthy climate
of resilient wealth.

Our popular leftbrain dominant monoculture
evolves a merely technological hubris march
toward co-disempowering astronomical Testosterone,

Win/Lose ZeroSum geometrically predicting
our losing climate pathology future
unable to neuro-musicologically accept
cooperative win/win harmonic responsibility
for natural/spiritual symphonic
ecosystemic healthy wealth

By not over-investing
in leftbrain technologically entertaining
explosive adventure myths
and apocalyptic histories,

Prophecies born of right-wing Rapture anxieties
taking perverse escapist pleasure
nihilistically distracting our embodied ego-centers
with anti-musical fascist portrayals
of our LoseLeft v LoseRight powerlessness,
naked organic humanity v MotherEarth’s climate revenge,

Fetuses
v EarthMothers freely choosing to prey upon their own resiliently nurturing wombs,

Abortion
of freedom to choose win/win
healthy climate pre-revolutionary lives
with more bilaterally balancing harmonies
favoring resilient health/wealth
yang/yin
ego/eco-therapeutic
C/E-Musing
perfect third bicameral choice
of rhetorical voice
her with his co-passionate fertile story
revolutionarily un-weaponable.

PolyNomially healthy Muses
co-revolving sweet spot
not not
PolyPhonically resonant,
robust,
rich Music.

Mystery of internal music history,
like communal external ecology,
grows inevitably
win/win revolutionary
when more powerfully tooled multiculturally
than weaponed win/lose
dissonantly evolutionary.

Standard
Uncategorized

Queer Music

They lived across from each other
on and off the center floor dorm hall,
both on the much discussed
controversial LeftWing side.

Yang perused Yin’s CDs,
“I see you like that queer music,
Elton John
and Luther VanDross
and George Michael.
I didn’t notice that before.”

Yin responds quietly
calmly
amused:

First,
I don’t believe music is gay or straight,
but most everything related in-between
harmonic and dissonant,
diminished and replenished.

Lyrics may be queer or predictable
but usually flow well
either way
telling co-relating creation stories
of nature’s neural positives
and negatives
surfing back and forth
in and out
before and after
here and there
now and then
and yet to climax
polypathic health
as polyphonic wealth.

But, Second,
Feels to me all music,
maybe all muses,
are queer
when I think holistically about it,
us,
them,
verbally thought and non-verbally felt,
internally touched

By a rhetorical moment
we curiously know as music
without noticing how radically unlikely
regenerative processes
compassionate evolutions
could ever reproduce such homo-ingenious sounds,
rhythms,
patterns,
colors,
textures,
stories,
epic original empathic creations
and co-empathic octaved recreations
within such a LeftBrain heterosexual white privileged
RightWing capitalistic
narcissistically greedy
UnQueer Marching Against
the Great Historic/Futuristic muse and prophets
of harmony,
despite dissonance,
resonance,
despite fading resilience of Baby Xers,
polyphonic yin-mused light,
despite polynomial not not
climate of touch and feel dualdarkness.

Meanwhile Yang
couldn’t hear too well
since opening the window
facing spring
listening
to a cranked up RocketMan,
while athletically dancing to hot not unqueer music,
and Yin’s ears swayed tenderly after and before
queer musing
straight talk.

 

 

 

Standard
Uncategorized

Timely Death of a Muse

My muse died today.
Although how could I lose
abuse
or amuse
what was never mine to use
as I see fit,
hear fitness,
feel fitfully?

This muse dies tonight
not from old age
as I had long predicted
must be my sad and unread case,
but for a new voice
or vice,
for deeper lyrics
and wider melodies
and globally local choreography
perhaps a ridiculous younger person’s game.

They say
not to write, unless you must;
Not to paint
or sing
or dance
or become a prostitute
unless you would otherwise eco-bust
ego-lust away this lifeline.

If you can live with something,
most anything, else
to occupy your time
and pay the rent,
then do
and be those more civil relationships instead.

It never occurred to me
perhaps because They didn’t say so,
I might do most everything else
so I could retire into writing
and reading
and singing
and dancing

But not prostitution
because no one would pay
for what I can not give away
with integrity intact.

I miss this muse already
but doubt she even remembers me,
a right hand
useful
responding to her labored demands
too ponderously telling,
psychic yelling,
when I longed to show in grace
integrity’s newest face
rhythm pattern pace
divinely humane race
robustly timeless space
without dissonant disgrace

Showing
not telling,
Belonging
not longing,
Dancing
not marching,
Singing
not shouting
to and with and for
tomorrow’s mute muses,
today’s deaf listeners,
amusing to move on
with overflowing emotions
not mere museless motions.

Now I have broken
my only two rules of unself-conscious writing.

1. Never mention the muse aloud
or dead
for She abhors a nonvacuum
of light,
and

2. Never write
about writing,
For the same non-reason
that optimal sexual
sensual
neural experience
cannot happen
if my sole
and sold-out purpose
is this Great Orgasm.
of we-consciousness.

My more retiring amusement died today.
Although how could I lose
abuse
or ever timelessly muse
what was never mine to use?

Standard
Uncategorized

Ecology of Music

Healthy ecological relationships
are climates easier to hear
when instruments use words
as tools, not weapons,
for planting and harvesting less fear,
for sensing emotions win/win harmonic
win/lose contested, competing for supremacy
of auditory,
predatory self-investment.

That said, and preferably sung,
ecological systems
like songs
are compositions,
richly resonant communications
in complerxly interdependent webs
not sustained through dissonant lose/lose walls

Of entropic silence,
abhorred absence of nurturing communion,
emotionally stifling structure,
full-bodied thirst for hearts absorbing minds
are preferred to sensory detachment,
failure to notice unvoiced climates
of epic sounds unnatural
dis-spirited
unlistening nonperformance,
unmused holocaust.

While win/win vocal music listening circles
are great places to therapeutically hear
Earth’s integral echoing potential,
love’s mutually-held ego-sadness and eco-gladness,
climates of ecological wealth,
inside as outside resonance,
outside as inside co-opportunity
through this environment
of mutually-sung
strong-hearted resilience.

With hope to sing another way
an Other focused day
and night
through ecology’s brightest voice
for regenerate light.

Standard