Uncategorized

BoneDeep Lonely

Imprisoning textures
and routine lectures
in loneliness,

“your own fault”
“not Other’s loss”

blame
shame
dipolar co-arising

Loneliness effacing
cognitive/affective reason
and denying access
to more social future seasons

Including primal memories
of self-appreciation
self-sufficiency
communication resource-fullness,

And yet,
and yet,

Beneath such reasonable busyness,
even when I can sustain
opulent MeWe identity,

Even so,
even so,

EgoWe remains curiously distinct,
courageously Not Other,

Embracing
peak biosystemic health,
abstractly known
falls short of panentheistic lust
specifically touched
sensory
and sacredly sexual
mystery

Mysterious loneliness sees,
smells,
hears,
tastes,
appreciates
deeply depreciates
absence of fully embodied
love touches
of verbal sound,
of nonverbal skin
hair
fingers
toes
and other shyer shows.

Loneliness knows opulent warm textures
and peak sensory experiences

Efface more theoretical reasons
win/win
for co-empathic healthy seasons

Of nurturing resonant,
full-embodied resilient,
Self/Other recombinant
transubstantiating
panentheistic full-color wealth,

PolyPathic
PolyPhonic
PolyCultural
not yet climate loneliness

Including multicultural SelfAppreciation
BioOrganic SelfSufficiency
CoOperative resource-fullness.

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Uncategorized

Rules of Engagement

For tonight
celebrating 163 birthdays
among the three of me,
my husband,
and oldest son’s May birthdays
within four days of each other

For tonight
unestranged,
and, if we each prefer,
for the remainder of our lives
more together,
less apart

We are here to understand
and express appreciation
for and with each other,
not to fix anyone’s misunderstandings
or positions
or perspective
or ignorance
or sin
against God
or Country
or common sense,
or love for each other,
or all of the above.

That way,
if we get confused
about which of these

White God
Red v Blue country
or common sense

Pillars of economic and political wisdom
we have so shamefully violated,

It doesn’t matter
because we’re not going to try
to understand Othering tonight

And, if you prefer,
for the remainder of our co-invested lives
more together,
less apart.

If you want feedback
about Past or Future You,
please ask
Because, for tonight,
we are here together
to hear how you are feeling now
about appreciating abundant you
as you are

And about appreciating us
as we are

And any memories of our past
we can revisit
with full integrity
appreciating you
as part of us–
your Me
as our interwoven We.

So, if you want feedback
about how and what you are doing
and not doing,
about who you are becoming
or not becoming,
you will have to ask.

If you get feedback
you cannot appreciate,
at least as yet,

Please, let’s help remind each other,
calmly and kindly,
that giving unsolicited feedback,
including how to solve your stupid problems
for you,
violates our rules for tonight
and, if you prefer,
for the remainder of our lives,
more together,
less apart.

These rules apply to you,
about yourself,
and about us,
and include me,
about me,
and about us.

I invite your kind
and calm reminder,
and my own
this night to appreciate
and celebrate who I am
as I am
and who you are
as we are
compassionately co-invested

Without judging ourselves
or Others

Without shaming ourselves
or blaming Others
for what we have failed to understand
and to express co-passionately,

To water our flowers
and rewarm our best days,
and not feed the cold dead weeds
of our worst days
before this our night
more together,
less apart.

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Roots of Worship

My roots of Creator worship
are fed and watered
by Creation appreciation
and curiosity

Whether this might also be true
and sometimes disappointingly false
for you

A resonantly sacred
sometimes prophetic
heart

With a resilient
health developing
ecosystemic mind

For whom my tricky part,
or one of many
as I recall…

Furtive sidewind glances
to my youthful left

Where he sat
in his magnificent
thick stacked darkness,

My closet worship thing
is impossible to come out
with perfect timing
with someone I am powerfully,
intoxicatingly, enraptured by
with
within
and preferably not without

Yet have no hope or intention
of ever being naked
or even transparent,
and certainly not vulnerable,
within his sight and hearing.

If said out loud,
then unveiled too soon
to not cause unwanted predative
seductive concerns.

If not said too soon
then inevitably disclosed too late
to retain resonant
and resilient trust

No hidden agendas,
no closet colonizing cases,
no aging platonic relationships
continuing to work
and play better
in just right silence
of unseen
unheard
unfelt
untouched emotions
without attaching motions

Back through roots of Creator worship
fed and watered
by Creation appreciation
and thick stacked curiosity.

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Uncategorized

Capital Investment Problems

A cold and calculating problem
I see
is finding resonantly warm motivation
for resilient employment
by following mere capital short-term acquisition norms
for sacred vocational gravitas,
and maybe a smidge of gratitude–
where “smidge” is warmly defined
as the opposite of cold hegemony.

Back in the golden age
of NeverLand,

Perhaps still more accessible to poor and suffering populations
like repressed girls
and people of color
and diverse ethnicity,
and, of course, Queer TransBinaries,
tree huggers
ecofeminists,
mentally and physically
spiritually and naturally challenged prisoners,
slaves to capital-driven hedgemonies,

We found,
once upon a timespace image,
our cooperative care-giving/receiving vocations
by looking for that primal warm relationship
between where we were most appreciated
safe
win/win anticipating

And what we felt most inviting
of mutual gratitude,
now, and for all foreseen future moments
of integrity investment
ownership
management
task administration
therapeutic event planning
compassionately restful and healing communication
with warm, not too hot and not too cold, Earth
soil
water
air
fire
ice
nature’s subclimates,
other prophetic predators,
other soulful prey,
culture’s subdivisions,
universally uniting democratic energy systems,
interdependent health networks,
polypathic paradigms
becoming polyphonic wealth
giving and receiving memes.

That was back awhile
when mutual vocational appreciation
evoked warmer invited and inviting exchanges,

When an artist
or a mediator
or a developer
restoring healthy compassionate peace
might be paid in goats,
fruits and vegetables,
incense,
cattle,
ornaments,
a kayak,
a canoe,
a hut,
a lake,
teepee,
yurt,
a horse or camel,
a wife
or husband;
apparently not both.

Then
coins and currency
made their capital-infesting way
into patriarchal leftbrain dominance,
and now vocational planners
speak of deathtime cash accumulation residuals
and not at all
of lifetime warm appreciation,
gratitude for seamless care-giving yang
and care-receiving yin,
left with right
west with east
north with south
patriarchal Elite with matriarchal NonElite co-investments
without too much capital self-invited infestment.

Of course,
back then,
more outdoors than indoors,
skins and hairs tended to start out darker for today
and saving silver for aging later,
which feels like some appreciative association
between indigenous wisdom traditions
of Earth’s egalitarian interdependent economy
between nature-spirit energy sources
resourcing natural care-giving/receiving vocations
evolving spiritual and spirited appreciations,
warmly individual,
vulnerably personal
and cooperatively communal
communions,
warm hearths and refreshing chalices,
freshwater ponds,
lakes,
rivers,
ocean surf
exploring sandy beach boundaries
shifting
reshaping

Wet wombs
and inspiring first through last breaths
of safety
and warm co-mattering reassurance

This win/lose trauma too
will pass
into win/win warm vocational paradise.

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