Uncategorized

Claustrophobic Center

Much has been felt
then written
about loneliness at the top

Less written,
yet perhaps far more often felt,
about claustrophobia in the center.

Problems with delegation,
boundaries,
predictable timelines,
responsive management focus,
follow through performance,
competitions to be heard
listened to
appreciated

Nonviolent calm
peace,
by contrast,
invites resiliently harmonic
win/win expansive
sublimely integrating
synergetic intention,
anticipation
slowly pushing out
and fading rabidly frenetic
anxiety,
chronic stress,
unmitigated win/lose trauma histories.

Integrity’s potential,
and not universal win/win perfectionism,
delivers resonantly happy,
wholesome,
healthy,
contented wealthy outcomes,
ecologically reconnected
with mythos
and eros
and ethos
and aesthetics
of panentheistic Paradise Promised

Is not perfectly comprehensive control
of a punishingly comprehensive
self and other governance system
felt as loneliness
near a constantly threatened
egocentric top

Of a patriarchal
capital-infested
win/lose zero-sum monopoly game
of Seize My Autonomous Day

Without unconditional regard
for EgoSelf as primal mentor
of what we look like,
versus what we feel like,
at the top of our AnthroPrivileged lives
without perfect GoldenRule encircling love.

A healthier democratic trust
for expansive EarthTribe circles
of co-empathic investment
may outdoor ease
our anxious indoor claustrophobic disease
fearful of disappointing
both authority figures
and our relentlessly needy constituencies

Angry at loss of privacy,
settling for less than sacred communion experience
within EarthTribe’s full sung range
of polycultural voices

Multiculturing choices
to feel and grow better,
healthier,
safe wealthier together
than dancing,
singing solo apart

On a stage
with a too bright ego spotlight
narrowly glaring at my own soul-embodied
godlike protagonist

Either against my own claustrophic circle
of followers
or standing alone at the supremely pompous top
of those already Othered
and thereby lessened–
followers,
sheep,
rather than cooperatively informed collaborators
steeped in Earth’s sacred
indigenous wisdom
and Sun’s enlightened
whole open systemic focus.

I suppose integrity’s co-empathic potential
for both/and nuanced
warm inviting cooperative regard
might be a contagiously viral
win/win alternative ecofeminist view

Anticipating cooperatively re-integrating
re-connecting
ecological mythic enrichment
of epic Here/Now
epistemological Body/Mind
eternal Life/Love
curiously interdependent Truth/Beauty
restoring Mundane/Sacred
bicamerally balanced
Paradise Lost

In EarthTribe wounded circles,
traumatized,
but not yet broken

While much has been autonomously felt
then written in self-isolation
about uneasy loneliness at the top
and diseased dismay
in a viciously shrinking circle
of traumatic climate despair.

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Uncategorized

BoneDeep Lonely

Imprisoning textures
and routine lectures
in loneliness,

“your own fault”
“not Other’s loss”

blame
shame
dipolar co-arising

Loneliness effacing
cognitive/affective reason
and denying access
to more social future seasons

Including primal memories
of self-appreciation
self-sufficiency
communication resource-fullness,

And yet,
and yet,

Beneath such reasonable busyness,
even when I can sustain
opulent MeWe identity,

Even so,
even so,

EgoWe remains curiously distinct,
courageously Not Other,

Embracing
peak biosystemic health,
abstractly known
falls short of panentheistic lust
specifically touched
sensory
and sacredly sexual
mystery

Mysterious loneliness sees,
smells,
hears,
tastes,
appreciates
deeply depreciates
absence of fully embodied
love touches
of verbal sound,
of nonverbal skin
hair
fingers
toes
and other shyer shows.

Loneliness knows opulent warm textures
and peak sensory experiences

Efface more theoretical reasons
win/win
for co-empathic healthy seasons

Of nurturing resonant,
full-embodied resilient,
Self/Other recombinant
transubstantiating
panentheistic full-color wealth,

PolyPathic
PolyPhonic
PolyCultural
not yet climate loneliness

Including multicultural SelfAppreciation
BioOrganic SelfSufficiency
CoOperative resource-fullness.

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Uncategorized

When Lonely

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
small and ineffective
against depression
descending like a brain fog bank

In this Elder moment,
I have grown faith
even this chronic dark veil
will withdraw,

Although
perhaps not as sure of when
as tomorrow’s fresh green/blue
worldview dawn

Naturally spirited dark nights
for ego embodied wounds
will recede again

When I’m feeling lonely
and anxious,
rather than healthy
good humored
and safe
with gratitude

For Earth’s panentheistic pleasures
win/win neurosensory practices,
whole-sum dialectical praxis
replete with paradigmatic
revolutionary creolization
musical recreations
across all nations
historically therapeutic
nonviolent communications

When I’m feeling anxious
and lonely,
I am wanting?
Needing what?

To feel healthy
and recognize my situation as factually
and fortunately safe
in some way?
I can say out loud
and take my Verbal Hemisphere dominant self
seriously
rather than speciously,
curiously
rather than furiously.

When I’m lonely
and fear depression’s
disenabling
and unenlightened fog,
am I needing to feel ego-compassion,
eco-systemic expansion?

To see Earth’s restorative health
within
balancing
Sun’s most resiliently revolutionary wealth,
without?

When feeling lonely
what do I most crave?

When feeling traumatized
wounded
internally divided
stuck
dissociated
cognitively/affectively dissonant,

Rather than bilaterally resonant
inside
as outside
deep polycultural revival
and widely
inclusively
multiculturally resilient

Is cooperative
eco-political correctness
what I need
for myself
and with all EarthTribe’s potential
Yang-full Yintegral flow?

Throughout healthy EarthSpace
and wealthy SunRevolving Time,
when feeling lonely,
what does my egobody need,
want,
most crave?

Deepest brave,
courageously transparent,
vulnerably curious way
to stay
safe and healthy
multigenerationally
and multiculturally
and polypathically
Yang monotheistic
and Yin panentheistic,

One full organic ZeroZone
and not, not empty polymathic
entirely
coldly
clinically theoretic.

When feeling anxious
I long for win/win robust anticipation

Gratitude
for a species
too win/lose comfortable
with VerbalHemisphere dominant genocide
and ecocidal ideations

While Elder Hemisphere wisdom
prominently celebrates
Spring rites of Yang fruitfulness
and Yintegral full flow flowering

Truth
and Beauty

Wholeness
and elegant holonic
co-relationships,
co-passion,
ego/eco-systemic Earth
Tribal green integrity

Synergy,
negentropy,
ergodically whole-sum
holonic win/win open
anticipating further enriching
green comforting energy.

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Uncategorized

Peak Communion Addiction

When struggling with addiction
to uncontrolled
and biologically controlling agents
and competitive outside agencies

Earth is helpful in mentoring patience
with failures of humane self-control
to extend,
feed and water
and grow mindbody wealth
of unwalled health.

So, when possible,
as possible,
extend your compassion
away from impatience
with your own owned egocentrism,
from which we all LeftBrain dominantly suffer,
and, instead, turn toward actively felt RightBrain
curiosity

About understanding your addiction cycles,
addictive relationships
vacillating in-between fear and anger
over inadequately safe and nourishing
cooperative humane attachments,

Like, for instance,
the primal neuro-sensory positive
happy
healthy resonant co-empathic
co-relationship you ego-shared
with your original eco-EarthMother
red-blood empowering

And enlightening green MotherEarth cooperative
co-invested
co-passion.

This active curiosity
about your own history of feeling lonely,
unwanted,
detached,
shunned,
marginalized-marginal
unnecessary
dispurposed,
depressed

Is not where
and when
and how you might also remember feeling
curiously connected,

High seratonin
and deep dopamine enriched,
resonantly and resiliently climaxing
health optimizing ego/eco-mother
bilaterally enlightened connection

Re-connection to our Universal Sacred Promise
of each integral Ego’s portentous meaning,
secular purpose,
re-connection to pre-historic memories
of perfectly compassionate nature inhaled
and spirit exhaled

Naturespiralation warm and active
high and deep
light empowering internal/external
natural and spiritual
scientific and aesthetic
Truth and Beauty

Here and Now
resiliently co-climaxing
curious impressions

Of secular addictions
to sacred resonant re-attachment.

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Uncategorized

Solitude’s Solidarity Option

In solitude
I listen for open solidarity
of grand holistic questions
advising profound habitat significance
resonant to
and for
and with all sensory-systemic EarthTribe

In solidarity
Earth responds
with sacred energetic civility

Where dark stained colors
warn danger passions
and remixed pastels
predict spring health rise again

In bold sprays
of communal solitude flowing
out coming solidarity flowers
profound significance to
and for
and with co-encultured sense systems

Health rooted
to rebirth across EarthTribe networks,
climates
of mechanically loud
and organically silent
cultures,

Anger vulnerable
and fear transparent
inside color voices
outside EarthSong
co-passions cost choices.

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Uncategorized

Not That You Depressingly Asked

Not that you asked,
or ever would feel free to inquire,
yet perhaps you grow ready to listen
to a voice inviting exit
from your,
and our,
long loneliness,
self-contempt,
isolation so shelled-over,
so embedded,
you are sure we are each and all
unredeemably alone

In our envy of others,
the positive deviants
with apparently healthy organic
and resonant
and resilient relationships

While we remain powerless to conjure enough curiosity
to discover
and/or rediscover
our own win/win potentialities,
personal
and political,
economic
and ecologically regenerative.

Depression conjures
dark apartness messes
all your own too-competitive fault.

But, your depression,
emotional and/or economic,
political and/or environmental,
like my own,
is no more or less your fault
than is Donald Oompa Trumpa President
of all anti-ecological wisdom,
a new ungreen post-millennial oxymoron,
and Earth’s algorithmic degeneration
into lose/lose fragility,

And privileged human SuperEgo’s declention
disarray
dismay
despair into xenophobic rabidity
oligarchical madness
global depression
mutual suppression
liberally invested in every thing
but love,
curiosity
recovering win/win birth canal memory,
a magical moment of hope for Earth’s warm light
of lifetime win/win recovery.

Your depression is your fault
only in this warm right-brain accompaniment sense
of feeling and knowing we are a fluid,
yet stuck, State
that is our shared win/lose fault
of left-brain dominating culture
parsing compassion stingily,
saving for glorious and
win/win right-brain interdependent
un-lonely Rapturous sacred end.

But, as every community organizer
and integral permaculture designer
and restorative justice advocator
knows from win/win v win/lose v loselose
retributive v restorative justice experience,
we cannot end a resilient health-building project
that will include
any and all multicultural win/win faith
if we did not embody already inside
as we began
pushing through our original organic tunnel
toward Earth love’s first light
and unmuted sounds
of greeting,
warm accompaniment
universal co-present love,

Hope
faith in EarthMother’s warm feeding breast
from whence we each compassion came
come
and go.

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Uncategorized

Lonely Nest

Loneliness,
of individuals,
families,
communities
and nation-states,
leads insufficient capacity
to prophecy everyone’s collective interdependence,
and thereby remains partially blind
to Win/Win optimal health/wealth outcomes,
which could not be monopolized
by experiential loneliness
felt internal monocultural sadness.

By inviting risk to shift,
nudge,
notice personal/political Lose/Lose depreciations,
bucket lists of long-standing tensions
causing unhealthy cognitive/affective dissonance
unresiliently stuck in slow ego-depreciating mortality,
absence of furthering resilient appreciative-inquiry belonging
within this
and each
and every
timeless Win/Win left-brain fragmenting
ego-prominent compassion-nest
self/other-perpetuating cooperative polypaths
implied within each unprophetic deeply pre-ingested
re-ingesting healthy/wealthy moment,

Irrational spiraling not not ego/ecotherapeutic self-care,
a dynamic healing ZeroZone
away from repressive solid OneNest walls
of silently atoning loneliness,
onelinest
healthy hoping toward impressive implicit webs
for pregnant metaphoric
meteoric Earthiness,
EarthTribe nest.

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Appreciating Unity

I guess I have these momentary choices,
some days privileged with more
and some more challenged
by un-privileged less experience
with ego/eco-centric bilateral choice,

Do I want to know and love myself more
for how I am different and special
unique and maybe a bit brightly privileged
right now?

Or am I more self-appreciative
for not depreciating
how we are most resiliently the same
rather than mere interdependent flaring fragments
replacing original hopes for win/win synergy
with ultimate fears against win/lose sameness,
remembering both/and unity
with more gravitas than either/or uniformity

Of whole ecosystemic Earth
co-arising win/win
revolutionary radical cooperative choice
to resist those future moments
more One RabidNest felt
through dim ego shadows
of self-perpetuating unchosen loneliness.

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Sublime Loneliness

When Yang-strong Egos
like a great FirstWorld nation,
or an ecologically robust multiculturing community,
or a theologically resilient
good faith
polypathic sacred communion,
or a democratically healthy
cooperatively owned
and polyculturally managed corporation
regenerately restore DNA-structured 8-fold universes
transubstantiating fertile infinity becoming resonantly wealthy,

Then Earth’s nutritional YinFlow stage-theories
reiterate polypathic cognitive integrity
of original paradigmatic ZeroZone reweaving
for regenerating healthy blood within as wealthy words without,
yin as robustly effluent yang

RightSoul as LeftNature
convexly re-associating secular investments re-invite sacred natural history
embodied teachers and preachers, yet often deductively homeless
bicameral Right, lonely, seeing inter-relating ZeroSouls
concavely sacred eco-powering Ego’s belonging
among reweaving ancient childhood companions,
cognitive re-creating images
re-connecting thoughts with voices
composed of memory’s healthy v pathological
trusted v violating
homeless ZeroZone feelings
emerging from gracious laughing WiseElder choices

ReLearning non-sectarian life
as resilient journey
reconnecting sacred love’s non-violent bottom-line standards
inviting eternal homeless fluid moments
infinite ultra-nonviolet
in-between Ego’s self-conscious TaoTime
co-arising lonely co-incident identities
co-empathic
co-present

Yet mutually blind without emotive belonging,
lack of post-millennial WinWin experience
inside/outside
sacred/secular bilaterally lonely
divine/humane voiceless polypathic grace.

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Can’t Make You Stalk Me

Turn up the lights
Fold up the bed
Turn up those voices
outside my head
Lay out for me
Feed me with lies
Just hold me up, your patron saint
Do matronize me

‘Cause I can’t make you stalk me
if you won’t
You can’t make your mind think something
it don’t
Here in my light,
in these early hours
I will pick up my heart
and not feel your power
But I can’t, no I won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you stalk me,
when you don’t.

I’ll freeze my eyes,
then you won’t see
The heart you don’t feel
when you’re not holding me
Evening will come
and you’ll do what’s wrong
Just give me till then
to give up this song
And you could give up our wrong

‘Cause I can’t make you love us
if you won’t
You can’t make your mind feel something
it don’t
Here in our light,
in these late hours
I will pick up my heart
and I’ll feel our power
But I can’t, no I can’t
‘Cause I can’t make you stalk peace,
when you don’t.

 

With apologies to Allen Shamblin and Michael Reid who cooperatively wrote one of my favorite songs.

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