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Winter’s Writing Choices

Approaching winter…

OK, maybe encroaching mid-winter
of life’s seasonal span
with resonantly compelling grace,
perhaps even transparent vulnerability,
feels controversial,
too laissez-faire

Too much courage
in declaring preliminary success
with too little curiosity
about what happens next
on planet Earth

Continuing to revolve all four seasons
dynamics
holistic lenses.

I recall the poet’s admonition
to not go quietly
into this winterish
cold night.

Life’s final reflective opportunity
does not invite quiet
so much as impassioned peace
of a windless snowfall
blanketing all I can see
and more faintly hear,
touch and awkwardly feel,
smell and bittersweetly taste
unsafe passage.

I recently moved from autumn habitat,
a creative tension between summer’s midlife climax
and this new winter habit
above Connecticut’s exquisite Salmon River.

This is a compromised writer’s winter hermitage
shared with my son who cannot speak
but can roar,
who cannot walk by himself
but can scoot
and belly laugh at his own internal sensations
and my external sensational sounds.

And, following Daquan
from my fall habitat
to winter’s eremetical search for peace,
however coldly displaced,
with social
and political
and spiritual
and natural distancing,

Behind Daquan
are daily in-home nurses
and his most avid companion,
my romantically distanced husband.

He comes bearing gifts
of clothes,
cleaning supplies,
far too much meaty food
for a proper hermitage
and not enough
for sufficient redemption
and for self-forgiveness.

He comes unaware of my ecofeminist wintering spirit,
longing for Earth’s warm womb justice
restoring peace
resilient through all four seasons
of present
past
and future Earth lives.

My ecofeminist lineage
feels too white to him,
not a journey for him
and our two brown sons
and my brown and cerebral palsied daughter
and Daquan.

So, this writer’s winter hermitage
remains newly compromised by past fall
and summer
and even spring
of extended multicultural family life.

May it always be so
or no,
I’m not sure which to pray for
or against
as I quietly write
into this warm and peaceful night,
just right,
not too dim or bright.

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Why Are We Here?

Why are we here?
my oppositional daughter
defiantly asks.

Because we’re not over there?
her appositional dad
too often
and frustratingly
responds.

Sogyal Rinpoche writes
“To embody the transcendent
is why we are here.”
I doubt my daughter
would find this more satisfactory,
sounds like more patriarchal malfactory.

Echeopnir Laygos has another impression,
To embody economic empowerment
and political enlightenment
is why liturgy,
communion
and transcendent meditation
are here.

So,
embodying Earth’s transcendent unity
is also how we are here;
but this too
would not satisfy my daughter’s constant questions
about why and how,
I fear.

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Natural Cathedral

Outside of spiritually empowering meditation
is nature’s organic liturgy
of creation
more positively enlightening
than degenerative dogma.

Within liturgical ritual
awaits spirited medication
healing win v lose,
left v right,
yang v yin,
inhale v exhale,
ego v eco
inside v outside
below v above
before v after wounds,

Reconnecting our bicameral
bilateral
binomial potential
for win/win resolutions,
resiliently resonant

Natural sacraments
causing effective causes
with spirited
regenerating intent
holy
as holonic
iconically interconnected

Analogous metaphors
inside ecological theologies
outside neurological biology,
phylogenic history of regenerators
enlightening empowerment,
once again
resiliently secular/sacred resonance.

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Organic Therapy

Sogyal Rinpoche,
and all the Rinpoche family before him,
prescribes therapeutic merit
of contemplating my Master’s face.

For ecotherapists
the Master of Regenerative Intent
is also Mother Earth’s face,
climate,
multicultural health
in ecological/theological harmony.

EcoTherapists,
like ancient saints and sacred scriptures,
teachers and teachings,
oral tradition Tellers
and Experiential ReTellers,
do not distinguish
between secular ecological relationships
and sacred theological co-passions

Because we cannot see
or hear,
feel
or touch,
taste
or smell any difference
that makes a difference
between exterior left-hemisphere dominant
YangNature
and interior right-hemisphere ecofeminist
YinSpirit

In appositional dialogue
and not unhealthy oppositional debate.

Anyway,
whether because of dualistic blindness
or nondualistic wisdom,
or both physical experience
and metaphysical theory,
or all above and below
tipping points of universal mediation,

Gazing on the Face of Earth
is, for this ecotherapist,
a growing awareness
of changing enlightenment,
beginning with dawn source East
and ending with dusk’s last gasp
surrounding light’s enculturing dominance
fading from East toward West.

In this light’s day
my brown-skinned daughter
with lively brown crossed eyes,
born addicted to alcohol,
leaves the light and darkness of my home
to enter a residential facility

Paid for by the State of Connecticut
and staffed by a non-profit Lutheran agency,
with professional behaviorists
and egotherapists,
left and right hemisphere teachers
of deep learning
spiritual emotions with natural thoughts,
natural thoughts expressing spiritual
sensory sensed
healthy healthed feelings,
co-arising Earth’s facial ease
v disease,
light v dark,
empowerment v entropy.

But, even today,
as we finish packing
and travel for an hour
and go through this postVirus placement,
the profound and most significant drama
of light unfolds
across the Face of our exterior Mother

Where sun and shadow
again sweep
and climax
and wane

Where seasonal climate
and daily temperature and humidity,
rooted in yesterday’s pre-millennial climate
and global subclimates,
branch out
toward tomorrow’s regenerative
and degenerative
health wealth and pathology stealth trends,
co-arising this day’s unique permacultural opera

Witnessing
and celebrating operations
of daily changing
uniquely evolving
resiliently revolving Face
my daughter’s new and old homes
of light and shadow
resolutely best embrace.

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Fundamental Correctness

Healthy robust meditation,
taught
in diverse schools of thought,
theological
through ecological,
biological,
psychological
sociological
and neurological,
begins with correct posture.

But, “correct” does not mean
only one orthodox way.

Correct
is more about medians
than evangelical means,
favoring balance,
centering practice.

Correct
accommodates diversity,
cultural differences
and universal similarities
of humane bicameral consciousness.

Correct posture,
like correct theology
and correct understanding
of ecological relationship,
is about polyphonic correlation
and not monoculturing stagnation.

Yet, correct posture,
correct health care,
correct political and economic relationships,
are not merely subjective,
not merely “relative”

Any more or less than correct theories of relativity
are merely subjective,
chaotic,
degenerative,
entropic.

Rather, correct postures,
frames,
forms of discernment,
notice,
healthy curiosity,
good humor,
structure,
transparent networks,
resilient systems,
are correct
as they are in left/right
west/east
north/south
ego/eco balancing relationship,
noticing tipping points

Toward Yang’s natural revolutions
in mountainous significant space
and Yin’s spiritual evolutions
co-arising spiraling valleys of time

Where polypathic relationship
correctly resonates
polyphonic resilience.

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Temple of Grain

They prayed a Buddhist prayer:

And may we cooperatively dwell
in Earth’s great equanimity
free from attachment
and dispassionate aversion.

As regenerations continued this bodymind practice,
MotherEarth Attachment transposed
disassociated from healthy relationships
with all empowering
and enlightening creatures,
and was replaced by “greed”
and correlated “envy”

Greed rooted in fear
individual egocenters are not enough identity,
bodies carrying minds
with unspoken messages,
they did not have enough;

Envy co-arising anger
as greed invokes fear
about insufficient empowering time
and inadequately enlightening life.

They rediscovered envy co-arising anger
because we are born with win/win attachment promise
but discover our autonomous mortality
through death of lovers and enemies,
and all creatures in-between,
through suffering dreams
of those with timeless robust health
and greed
for immortal wisest wealth.

And this is how these NeoBuddhists
reconnected ancient metaphors
of Taoist non-zero sum roots
regenerative
win/win
ego/eco
left/right bicameral intelligence
Yanged and Yinning

And this is one way
we might both start
and conclude
each mindbody full day
free from greed
and envy
and patriarchal aversions.

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Imposed Unemployment

These matters of imposed sequestration,
home health quarantine,
residential segregation,
safety zone re-education

Can also become
contemplative solitude
growing sacred mindfulness,
healthy wealth revision,
2020 wealth of health
bicameral precision,
monoculturing capitalist rescission,
dipolar non-division;

Social,
political,
economic communication
significantly emerge from personal preference
but also left-hemisphere patriarchal enculturation
no different than propaganda
if delivered with both left and right-hemisphere
collusion intent,
unnaturally sinister,
calculating desecration,
the stuff of deep state
and dark conspiracy theories

Either True or False
or both/and complexly
ego/eco-bilaterally ambiguous,
subtle,
nuanced thought with unpolarized feelings
for interior nurtured spiritual intention
and exterior nutritional natural extension,

Discernment of which solitary seeds
and subterranean root systems are health watered
and wealth weeded,

And which are treated like worthless weeds,
not to be watered with contentment,
fed with commitment,
nourished for cooperative values,
cherished within ecosystemic futures,
compassioned.

This weediness of ego-neediness
prays for non-preying return
to ecosystemic communal fullness.

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Winged Economy

When I wash dishes
I look out at my bird feeder,
noticing which political species are best at cooperating,
easy democratic process,
remaining focused on collective nutritional energy gains,
“we’re all in this together” feathers of kin kind
And, which are more elitist,
not so good with sharing a modestly seeded pot;
blue jays predatively pecking,
crows taking over with raucous self-appointed authority,
ganging up against non-supremacists
seeking win/win democratic health.
But, this morning’s meditation
looks over at a nearby large bush,
now January cold barren brown
camouflage, more than shelter,
for local birds of all species
waiting their feeding turn,
frightened by my neighbor’s cat
or a hawk flying ominously overhead
or human noises leaking through my windows.
This small bird sanctuary,
Or is it an asylum?…
Perhaps both, depending on the bird,
harbors those waiting,
patiently, impatiently,
How would I know?
for their turn at their nutrition tower,
their seed Commons,
their energy media feeding station,
local source for economic and political exchange,
gossip,
social busyness.
Each bird flies back and forth,
some dressed in drab everyday,
others more business-ready flashy,
but all conjoining waves of flowing energy
in-between asylum bush
and open season feeding sanctuary.
Sometimes listeners and watchers,
and then short-flight toward feeders,
communicants
receiving sacred wafers,
seeds,
investments in cooperative multiculturing futures,
gifts of a generous green Earth.
Then,
suddenly,
they are gone.
The feeder Commons
abandoned.
My meditative hiding
and curiously waiting medicine bush
bereft of waving winged energy
breathing in and out,
feathered wings up and down.
Time to go back home
to more private nests
thoughts
feelings,
or, perhaps
to visit my neighbor’s cooperative feeder,
another caffeinated sanctuary
outside his own warm interior asylum.
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Breathless Change

There seems to be,
at least for me,
an important difference
between wanting to change people
and wanting to heal toxic feelings and beliefs.

When I exhale
into
and on
and under,
side by side
and through
and inside Earth’s climate,
I do not expect to change Earth culture,
but I do hope to heal too passive separation,
lack of co-inviting intimacy.

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Outside Health Habitats

Many of our most integral
holistic
spiritual,
re-ligioning,
re-connecting,
loyal pursuits
lead us on an individual
inside well-worn faithful path
that monoculturally separates
internal inside climate issues
from Earth’s vast extended family
outdoor voices
of concern and comfort.

Higher multiculturing
multi-generational
poly-regenerational truths
are also deeply sensed
outside inside quiet contemplation,
alone within four straight flat walls,
autonomously separate fragments
of global life/death epic issues

Inside silent still
contemplating past rounds
fired by negative Muses of DeGenerative Change
draws distorting hard distraught
fundamental flat walled lines
boxing in sad egos
trapped inside eco-habitat outdoor stifling
and freezing
toxic separation
within/without
severing our win/win rightbrain inside voice
from our win/lose left outside choices
as if two oppositionally defiant climate issues.

As if we are condemned to an unsustainable
bipolar
duality of mind
more chronically dispassionate
than a singular
creative dipolarity
of heart/mind
felt/thought
trust/truth

Pursuing
inviting our win/win ego/eco-nutritional truths
physically-sensually whole,
while severed from outside voices,
harmonic and dissonant muses,
longing for in/out communion,
diminishes emerging full rhapsodic chords,
Earth-sung moments
achieving wider stretching intimacy
engagement
climax

Integrity with those ecologically around us
theologically and historically within us,
healthy and pathological cultures
win/win and lose/lose,
living and dying climates
and all becomings
win/lose rounds of compromised win/win inside/outside change
in-between harmonic intervals
of full-octave Earth scale resonance,
resiliently polypathic.

Inside creations
grow more resiliently healthy
when surrounded by supportive outside meditations,
medication,
ego’s ecotherapy of healthy choice.

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