Uncategorized

Choosing Happy Health

My round white anti-depressants
were trying their faithful best
to listen to my ecofeminist
wise old woman
gardening neighbor,
pulling aggressive weeds

Sharing with me
her morning meditation reflection
immediately after entering dawning eyes
and before exiting her dreamy
comforting
fertile bed

Her opening
and excavating self-invitation
to choose body health nutrition
and mind happiness nurturing
which are snugly associated
for her
like peas and carrots
remembering well-versed voice
intention

But,
not so much for me,
now able to choose health
almost every dawning day
and dusky night
but still struggling
for post-traumatic omnipotence
to thrive toward happiness
by empowered choice,
even if not enlightened voice
articulating all the many thankful ways
remembering well-cultivated rejoice.

What my gardening neighbor
and I speak of
feels like my dull
and darkly present
spatial stuck unchanging place

Which she
unlike me
can also remember
as having evolved through time
from current EarthTribe regenerating days
becoming nurturing seasons
within each annual surviving incarnation

Reversing back toward warm
welcoming first dawn light’s
empowering sacred
thriving invitation.

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Uncategorized

MisGuided Meditations

I am sorry
about my judgmental,
sadly disdainful,
tone
in earlier messages.

Even worse,
I remain embarrassed
for spreading it out
for key staff
and leaders
to well-positioned see
and hear
and feel,
touched by toxicity.

My training
and experience
includes community mediation.

Within this mindful context,
I have tried to understand
what you want,
what you are learning,
what feeds and waters you
in your Presidential Position.

Your responses:

  1. that you know
    and care
    about our residential members,
    AND
  2. that you have unusual expertise,
    skills training,
    and/or Business Administration experience
    not available from other members,
    at least not any
    willing to step up
    and out into saying,
    Yes, I’ll help.

I failed to fully fit these
with past mediation interviews.

I was not as surprised by the second one,
as by the first,
because usually those seeking arbitration help
feel they live
in a high-risk win/lose
zero-sum system
punishing loss,
while looking for
their personal most loss-avoidant path
toward personal gain.

More closely regarding #2,
that you have unusual contractor,
business and project budgeting,
business management,
and significant financially successful property management experience

I was impressed
with what you bring
to our leadership table

And yet this does not,
in and of itself,
speak to skill sets
for PRESIDENT
of the Board.

On the contrary,
it seems to me
all this volunteer work
must detract from where your most cost-effective
personal focus needs to be
on your too busy workdays,
probably extending into evenings
and family/friend-lost weekends.

With regard to #1,
knowing and appreciating
win/win health and safety feelings
for residential members

This also did not sound
quite like my personal experience
could typically recall.

When I ask for personal motives,
usually what win/lose business men
speak of begins with financial motivations,
sometimes secondarily supported
by ecological concerns,
occasionally theological beliefs,
political aspirations,
retaining a positive community relations image,
community leadership aspirations,
wanting to be perceived
as a good and competent leader,
legislator,
teacher,
and/or,
in the case of religious constituencies,
wise spiritual Elder.

I have clearly failed
to understand why
you want to continue
Presiding over the Board.

This remains a mystery
shared by everyone I’ve asked.

When I share with them
your two responses to
“What’s in Presidency for you?
this fits with their
Successful Business Leader view
but raises dissonant questions

How could you afford to donate
this much time
and personal interest
without any personal financial return?

This dissonant mistrusting feeling
grows further
by those who have been residents
for many years
yet still do not feel seen or heard

So how could you know
and care about us?

As a mediator
with therapeutic,
nonviolent communication
intent

What do I do with my inability
to accurately and compassionately empathize
with you
on your journey toward fulfillment,
success,
happiness,
prosperity
and, preferably, unconditional regard?

To truly understand
and support you
in your personal and social
health and safety self-interest,
and to continue as our business leading
Presider?

I do not know how
to do both of those things,
and no one who encouraged me
to join the Board
wants me to support you.

That said,
one way sure not to help you
or me understand
and support you
is to publicly judge,
shame
and/or blame you
for circumstances beyond your responsibility
and authority to control.

If I have done that,
when I have done that,
while I am doing that,
I have not been a good person,
I have been a disappointing
multiculturally trained to listen
community-mindful mediator

And,
I have not practiced
even basic nonviolent communication skills

And,
you
presumably
are experiencing further high-risk
chronic trauma
as a result of my negligence.
For these failures on my part,
I apologize.

I often recall
a line of self-discovery
learned from a favorite
and famous spiritual director

“Who,
in your life now,
and perhaps in your past,
has been with you
at your most passionate
positive best?”

These are often romantic,
and sometimes earlier
healthy and safe parental
win/win relationship histories.

“How would that person,
or those people,
probably describe your sense of humor?”

If you have no idea,
you might want to start there
to therapeutically respond
to deeply engrained
trauma-avoidant
chronic stress disorder.

If you do have an idea,
some warm and welcoming ideas
about what helps you laugh with yourself
(not at yourself)
and with another you trust
and have found attractive,
compelling,
in some integrally soulful way,
then try to use that co-passion tool
to feel better about yourself,
your personal relationship history,
and your potential
for future healthy
and good-humored
win/win
nonviolent communication
for achieving resiliently co-mediated
health and safety outcomes.

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Uncategorized

Healing With Ivy

Overly familiar with her defiance
patterns of fetal alcohol confusion,
neuro-systemic habits of resistance,

I, the consummate ecofeminist,
was sure my daughter felt
I was shutting wounded Ivy out
when she wanted me
to enter her toxic on-line
stream of Sponge Bob consciousness

When she came to me,
in self-care mode,
while I was meditating
reading
reflecting
writing
breathing deeply in,
then out

One gasp for hope
at a new pandemic time,
searching for one hour
without unmitigated despair
at this unhealthy contagion time,
one calming day at a time,
one therapeutic glimpse at a week,
one unimaginable month,
one lifetime of a year,

One retiring stage,
one quickly ancient life,
one emerging seamless love
at this time.

In exasperation
with her insistent interruption
in my sacred space,
I exclaimed
“Ivy, I can’t take care of you
if you won’t let me
take care of me!”

To which she replied,
“Can I sit here
quietly
next to you?”

I was skeptical,
cynical about cooperative deep breathing
with screaming screen-time Ivy,
but “You may,
if you can”

And so she did
sit next to me
at the head of my bed
where her paraplegic brother slept
post-seizure,

She leaned her black curled head
against my old white man shoulder
peacefully
breathing side by side

And that is how
we resiliently entered
into this passing
evolving
rising and falling,
erupting and disrupting pandemic
of Earth’s green
and sacred
virally emergent
health care.

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Uncategorized

Therapeutic Performance

Talk therapy
among braver angels
and curious devilish advocates,

Evolves natural contemplative thoughts
felt sacredly neuro-systemic
reconnecting sensory consciousness
and mindful sexual experience
with worldviews recombining
Liberal Truth and Conserving Beauty
in co-empathic compassion

Nonviolently hopeful
win/win bicameral intelligence
exploring why

And healthy when

And safely now
remembering all those many public times
I have found relief from anxiety
and depression
and silent panic,
when performing sacred word
and sung gospel lyrics,
on a raised universal stage
of punishing judges,
angry blamers,
potential shamers,
angry jealous demonizers

Sitting naked
as any other mammal,
trying not to think about mating
or hunger abating
or thirst creating
transparent
and vulnerable needs
for effective
and safe
mindbody root communications.

Eastern and Western mystics
both multiculturally speak
and deeply listen
to internal causes of ego suffering
as clinging to past naked loser
embarrassing victimization
predicting inevitable failure
to win/win cooperatively thrive.

Not letting go
of our individual
autonomously
privately
shamefully wounded naked
and dependent child

Unable to grasp
through sufficient public health
and safely clothed
cared for experience

Unable to trust
love’s ultimately victorious possibilities
of win/win adult healthy
co-empathic
neuro-sensory peak experiences

Of joy,
contentment,
healthy peace,
nurturance,
fullness without gluttony,
abundance without naked insufficiency
felt as sustainable developmental progress

Of life synonymous with love
vulnerably enlightened
nakedly empowering
widely speaking
while deeply listening
for cooperative
inclusive
naked EarthTribe memories
polyculturally good-humored
as regeneratively accessible
embodied
micro-economies of tribally
co-invested thrival

Liberally free to love
in nakedly erotic summers
of sensory exotic anticipation

Conservatively free from hate
and terror
against closed
and clothed
covered winters
of hibernating
siloed dissociation

Feeling morbidly anxious
in win/lose capital hierarchical
political economies of scarcity,
shame,
humiliation,
loss and suffering,
death and disease
hidden under layers
of indecent respectability.

Naked EarthTribe mammals
notice a normally positive communicating
interdependently robust
multisensory species
not so LeftBrain foolishly confused
to distinguish between
transcendent radiant SunLight
and nurturing love of God’s healthcare,
voiceless
and most effective
when sleeping
and singing
and speaking nakedly.

Sometimes,
not often enough,
talking cooperative co-therapists
encourage our wounded naked child within
to let go
of idolizing LeftBrain capital value supremacy.

Life does not normally
neuro-systemically
unfold only from the neck up
and out
to other clothed-down
talking heads,
preferring to pretend
we did not all begin
as nakedly sexual-sensory Emperors
and Empresses
and sometimes transgenderally
and/or bicamerally,
in-between communionators.

Underneath our camouflage
of believing feelings,
positive and negative
and various degrees of in-between
naked hope
and silent despair,
should follow reason

We can still remember
root sensory truths
of feelings anticipating
LeftBrain dominant thoughts
contemplating severance,
dissociation,
Either/Or proper
prim challenges
to Both/And non-binaries,
Truth v Beauty
an alien cover-up
against multicultural
inter-religious
intersectional diversity

Where lives
our greatest peaks of joy
and valleys of nakedly wounded despair,
our intuitive resonance
and cognitively contemplated dissonance,
our resiliently divine
polypaths toward multi-regenerational
win/win potential

To sing out
and in,
widely
and deeply,
LeftBrain universally
and RightBrain unitarian
nakedly healthy integrity
appreciating fully developed talk therapy

Celebrating health
and safely sufficient EarthMothers
quietly amused
while silently singing
star spangled banners
invoking linear reasoned words
encircling RightBrain
naked
birthing
wet warm feelings

For all our world-staged leaders,
left and right
and nonbinary in-between,
naked as jaybirds
underneath all our cloth-closed
furs
and hair
and multiculturally wealthy skin.

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The Choir Audition

Why does she know
laying our music down
raises musicality
reality up?

Does she also know
why my lips prefer to sing
in resonant Oh,
Oooooooh…
oozing round O’s
and singular Ah’s
free of mapping static lyrics

Lines sung
hung
rung right or wrong,
good marching when uniform,
bad when too shy
of improvising bold
multiculturing unity

Harmony musing
amusing spontaneous drifts
and rifts
of EarthTribe’s light
bright woke-up
out loud power focus

Searching out deep whole-sum liturgies
of octaved musicality
we share
when fine-tuned to listen
for our not-so-silent breaths,
anticipating life’s next cooperatively felt
and politically co-empowering
story.

Songs of sacred circling lines
and whole systemic spaces
clever linearly written,
yet never speaking totally predicted sounds
resonant transcendent
anticipating in-between joy
and silent
nonviolent
resilience.

I wonder if she feels
as I sometimes can do
that muses nurture music
as abusers remain
narcissistically
patriarchally
capitalistically competitive,
unsympathetic

Lacking indigenous co-empathic wisdom,
Yang universal
Yintegral unitarian
musical integrity

Of Earth’s sound tribes flowing
songs and rhythms patterning
natural narratives,
curiously intimate Earth Day
anthems

Dancing spirited
taoistic breaths
bicamerally cooperative
contemplating solidarity
sung clarity

Under a zillion twinkling
zen core inkling
starlit choral nights.

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Uncategorized

Dancing Psalms

Dancing our epic song
inside images
dreams
narratives
ritual motions
rhythmic changes
disembodied

Can become dissonantly self-predative
depressing
exhausting
compressing

Claustrophobic mean remains
of darkly disabling
demonic Othering;
nothing left
for win/win choice,
wellbeing voice.

Dancing our song
dividing MeWe healthy humanity
in unhealthy ways

Sometimes therapeutically remediated
by better
silent outside
sacred listening,
for healing humane justice
in divinely green peace
forest Cathedrals,
desert sand drifting Paradise,
oceanic blue Heavens,
mountainous purple sunset Passions,
silent flowing rivers
of transparent Power
chasing
following vulnerable
wounding Light

Cooperatively active
inside/outside copassion
recklessly curious love
restoring EarthPeace
one dance at a time

For cooperatively revolutionary
mediations
resonantly YangSun sung
YintegralEarth danced

In and Out
Self and Other
therapeutically empathic
sacred muses
dancing our co-arising Psalms.

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Uncategorized

Solstice Solidarity

In the beginning
of individual first NoelNights
taking our great climatic breath,

All each of us possesses,
and is possessed by,
is sacred EarthMother

Humble shepherdess
singing vast compassion’s angelic empowerment
of great rebirth
giving enlightenment.

We each represent
remember
recreate
this first EarthJustice health communion

Wealth journey
into last and final Solstice

ChristMassive Eve
invoking universal health care giving
predicting local uniting harvest
of resilient wellness wealth

As we cooperatively push our babies forward
in silent carriages of active hope
to resist a dispassion climate
apartheid climax,
deadly stillborn

Wherein all that remains
of future warm breath generations
are shadow moon
and fading starlight
coldly witnessing
no angels singing
on high
nor below
what was our living
breathing MotherEarth

Now, this day,
still seeking and finding here
first empowering
and last enlightening

Dark and final climaxing
sacred co-empathic
passion storied climate frights

Of first/last bright night’s
final warm music intent
to breathe healthy co-passioned
co-arising journey flight

Breathing in
then together out,

Up
then back down

Western YangFull pride
and Eastern Yintegral Empty slide
dark
final restoring night
of Earth’s synergetic Solstice,
compassion’s resonant story

Greatest journey
patronage over-sold
yet never dark dopamining
seratonin angel told.

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UnDomestic Wilderness

When thinking of indigenous wisdom,
I feel more globally open,
more universally connected,
hoping to hear with multicultural listening ears
and astutely perceptive eyes
deductively retouching
inductively felt nonviolent communications
with all natural/spiritual dipolar
bicamerally balanced EarthTribes
present
immigrations from Earth’s past
emigrations toward co-passioned future

EarthMother Wisdom
is what I mean
to fulfill resonant-resilient
TruthBeauty co-arisingly integral
potential Indigenous Open and OutWildness

InBetween sacred Heaven’s radiant health
and natured Earth’s empowering wealth
for restoring EarthMother Justice

By means of internally
and anciently
perennially felt
cognitive/emotive nonviolent recommunionation,

Universally bicameral unitarian
nonsectarian
nonjudgmental
nonviolently resilient polypathic
win/win multicultural outcomes

Of Blue/Green Whole Spectral Health
wealth of Ultra-NonViolet EarthMother Peace
for all God’s innocent moon-soothed infants
waning
and waxing,
exhaling
and inhaling,
degenerating
and regenerating,

Tender
and wildly mild
wealthy explosions
and healthy implosions

Of nonviolent intention
outbound
for compassionate retention
inbound

Earth care giving
as indigenously reverse
recursive receiving.

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Restoring Tarnished Virtues

God’s oral,
and Gaia’s ancient anal
naturally spiritual laws
are win/win discursive,
not win/lose debating,
when climate polycultural conditions
are democratically healthy thriving

Not blaming,
judging,
shaming,
cursive,
as when monoculturing colonizations
of EurAsians autocratically
and kleptocratically sick
and barely monotheistically surviving
curiously endure inhumane denial
of runaway capitalist win/lose
LeftBrain dominant
straight white patriarchal
lose/lose ego/eco-fading systemic nihilism

Repression of ecowomanist mindfulness
lustiness
integrity
bilateral resilience

Suppression of post-traumatic climate stress disorder

Depression
of PolyCultural Sacred Law
for and of
humane sensory EarthTherapeutic Justice

Musical
mindfully mused
meditative medication
as Blue/Green
4/4
Who Are We For?
regenerative rhythmed peace.

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Uncategorized

Healthy Climate Culture

We are here
sexing
and singing
mindfulling our Perceptions and Questions
together in this now present
gifted Time

To eat and work together
for our cooperative
and ancient thriving health care,
of course,

But,
also,
and perhaps even more pre-historically
pre-anthrosupremacy,
to sing and dance together
to win/win play our root vibrant chakras,
and cooperatively think
by feeling together
sharing co-invested sacred wonders
and compassionately embodied awe,
of course,

And to embrace our EarthTribe sexuality,
our wild natural spirited climates
of climax and relax,
elapsed spacelessness
and relapsed time
of Yang and Yintegral
Heaven/Earth CoOperative Peace

Between ego Patriarchs
and ecosystemic Matriarchs,
transgenderal
multigenerational
regenerative democratic
organic organizing

Evermore sacred,
less merely secular sensory-neural systemic
LeftBrain verbalized reflections
transmutations
transfigurations
transcendent transubstantiations

Climax Yangish revolutions
of a sacred penetrating mountain
baptized in EarthPowered ecofeminist flow
of HereDivine/NowHumane
bilaterally resonant enlightenment
delight

For a global health/wealth
positively developing
unfolding
reweaving climate
of this
our politically correct time together
within Earth’s Great PolyCulturing Communion.

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