Tag Archives: identity

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Precocious Liturgies

I’m going through my morning routine
still at least half asleep,
pondering what was I pondering?
while preparing morning meds
and showering my daughter,
helping her dress,
filling her snack pail
for her long school bus ride,
changing my son’s overnight diaper,
lotioning ashy skin,
tying shoe laces,
hers, mine, ours,
feet walking onto the bus,
hooking all four corners of her safety harness
and walking back toward our house
thinking
I’ve been up for an hour
and now I’m ready to begin my day.

What was that first hour?
Its quality of dream
heading toward future investments
in life as more full consciousness.
Consciousness of a different dream?
A different sense of identity?
A different quality of life fullness
in contrast to dreamy half-consciousness,
on back to less than half,
and then the alarm clock
too quickly buzzing louder
to interrupt
whatever it was that had felt so ponderous
pondering what I had been pondering
before I drifted back into sleep.

Self awareness,
self and sometimes also other consciousness,
has this liquid flowing quality
of investment in life
and disinvestment through dreaming,
loss of self-embodied awareness.

I wonder if life could feel richer
if cash followed this same investment in conscious flow preference
over disinvesting in interest paid for over-dreaming
together in WinLose (0)Sum assuming societies,
Eden economies of Paradise Lost,
Bodhisattva Warriors
tying each other’s shoes
as necessary co-investment
and physically possible
and ecologically optimal
to get to that part of our conscious warrior day
we can re-invest in deeper consciousness
loving together,
investing in our cooperatively-held healthy water,
and nurturing air for the grandkids
and the back yard chorus of birds
and their grandkids
to breathe,
and fire for cooking and heating, but not hating,
and retelling family and tribal recreation stories,
Earth’s continuing liturgical investments
in self with other nutritional flowing consciousness.

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ReMembering Mortality

I wonder if something essential
to my individual identity,
our diverse ego centers,
must become recognized as waning,
on it’s
my
decomposing way toward death,
absence of hope for infinite future physical ego-integrity,
before it becomes possible to grab on to CoOperative Promise
with my more inductive eco-centering feeling left hand
to grow again from non-dominant
embryonic RightBrain organic seasonal beginnings
of listening for global multicultural integrity,
that matriarchal matters more, some Advent seasons,
and equally, during transitional birthing seasons,
and sometimes less revolutionary
yet still dipolar co-arising ego’s relentless waning.

Not just knowing death as incoming (0)-sum absence
of capacity to return love offered,
fear threatened,
but also gratitude for each eco-normative relationship
having become matriarchal integrity reborn,
some gone before already
and yet many to continue on
throughout this our eco-operating lines.

It is in my ego vulnerability
that Earth’s continuous matriarchal rebirth
grows reweaving
reborn,
both within my personal landscape
and across this our ecopolitical global climate.

 

 

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Graceful Piracy

What we take in each day,
what I choose to read,
to watch,
which individuals and which species I choose to listen to
and how long and closely I prefer to listen with them,
are all predicted by past nurture,
predicting future nurturing v toxic choices.

What takes me in each day
toward opulence of night,
what stories choose to become most richly mine,
which voices prefer to speak of and toward my growing identity,
these control me
when I cannot
and choose not
to control them
together,
mutually nurturing
our cooperative interdependent natures.

Taking in and out each day
and resonating pirate night.

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Conversion Therapies

I could not support a ban on Conversion Therapy
to change gay into straight,
spirals into lines,
because I believe we should each be free
to pay for any alternative languages
someone might be prepared to make
and write
and speak,
with self-marketing audiences to listen
with therapeutic outcomes genuinely preferred.

If some unhappy gay person,
or lesbian longing to be not,
remains willing to invest in persuasions
to switch teams,
transfer and exchange identities,
then that’s a high risk investment
that will die its own ego-exhausting death
when conversion
levels into diverse reversions
and/or some depriving perversion of healthy cooperating love,
or inversions into repressive silos called despair
and, more likely, some of all
of the above.

But, conversion therapy for unhappy gay to happy straight
only if this becomes equally available
accessible therapies
for unhappy straight toward happy gay,
for if it can work
to teach someone into a different dominant identity,
then it could work both ways,
more bisexually.

And, if conversion therapies can,
they should,
to be fair to all those unhappy
with their current team,
or teams,
preferably multiculturing toward health,
rather than monoculturing toward further climates of pathology.

Then we might invite further Conversion Therapies.
Unhappy Conservatives
becoming wealthier quasi-progressive
Earth natural-spiritual residents again,
and vice versa,
except more ecotherapeutic conservators
of regeneratively full-steamed life.

If all it takes is investing in some therapist
to convert my unhappiest attributes
into those that would make my new best ecopolitical day,
then such therapy should not just be free
from gay to straight
and straight to gay
but equally persuasive
for all now feeling out
wanting more in toward sane integrity.

But, investors beware,
we have had many WinLose Therapists
for unhappy powers to become more capital rich,
yet only few narrow WinWin unhappy rich
to become more simply and contentedly reinvesting
away from larger WinLose anti-therapeutic tragedies.

The larger WinLose therapeutic sector
has best outcomes
only for already full-played out entrepreneurial change agents,
and their larger scale not-so-therapeutic marketers
of further competitions
within and between
our diverse unhappy identities.

Conversion AntiTherapy
would be so funny
if not so ecopolitically tragic.

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Integrity’s Boundaries

What if we were song,
sacred litany?

What if,
What if we were dance,
gracefilled choreography?

What if we were energy,
therapeutic information?
Naked trees
joining navels
from native mother to nurture mother
down through speciating generations
up for regeneration.

What if?
What if we became tireless time,
reorganizing space?
Irreplaceable climates
within humid organic history.

I am not your place
and sadly not mine
with authority to displace
or responsibility to replace.
I am not my face.

We are designed to fall apart,
even with unlikely careful wear.
So what?
No excuse to surrender
to daily worn out deaths.
Well excused to rise this day
ready for each dusk
without anticipation
for love or lust
rain or dust
win or bust.
It’s just us
wearing down the best we can.

What if,
What if we were each a song
resonating one per measure,
beating Earth’s shortest line dance?

What if we were timeless energy,
resonating freestyle consciousness?

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Organic Time Travel

My body restrains my mind.
Logic as ecologically constrained,
naturally rational,
like rain does not fall up
unless I am standing on my head.

Embodiment also limits my mind.
Imagination often resists such sparse frugality of powers,
yet also thrives on simplicity
more than duplicity.

I can imagine pleasure of mind
capable of visiting China for an hour one day
and one night,
a particular coastal town,
a particular family,
a particular other body
looking back at me
imagining how he would look and sound
to someone like me
from a coastal town in the U.S.
And then my mind’s eyes become his,
looking out at his loved ones
and actively distrusted ones
and his vistas and landscapes and climate smells
and hopes and fears.

Then the tip of South Africa
in the next hour,
then visiting both Syria and Korea
five hundred years ago
to explore constancy and change
in how we look and sound,
smell and taste,
how we feel trusting and mistrusting
and how we might feel about my RealTime ego-mind,
and then visit again five hundred years from now
to notice in this same variety of ego-
and eco-conscious ways.

Yet, in all these disembodied images
my frequent flyer
yet frugal ego remains relentlessly enclosed
by limitations of my own body’s continuous memory
of ego-eco centering mind,
favoring simplicity of transparent confluence,
aesthetics of balance and symmetric full-color harmony,
ethics of mutual time travel
empathically trusting and mistrusting out
then breathing back in with equanimity.

Becoming extended out through space and time,
only and finally to come back to rest
within multiculturally edified
yet ecopolitically simplified creolizing presence
of still ego/eco centering me,
hoping you will love how I look and sound,
smell and taste,
feel and empathically trust
at least as much as my mind can
comprehensively engage this phylogenic embodiment
we human natures each and all metamorphically breathe in,
evolutionarily extend out
to transcend mere ego,
frugal befriending flow of trusting EarthTribes.

My body restrains my mind
as our phylogenic evolution constrains our empathic mindbody,
as our embodied landscape retrains our co-empathic climates.

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Biconceptually Healthy Political Climates

With Julian Jaynes
we find an egocentric languaged LeftBrain
developing reasons to sacredly love our healthy RightBrain inductive-integrative SacredPower feelings of Earth’s co-relationship with LeftBrain’s Self-ReGenerating Identity
of BiCameral Ego/Eco-Consciousness.

Later on in the evolution of Positive Psychology,
we find Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
with competitive egocentric dominance
too often ecopolitically suppressing RightBrain flow of integratively abundant,
healthy as also wealthy,
regenerative more than degenerative Positive/Negative Psychology.

Then we come to George Lakoff’s concept of economic and political “BiConceptualism”
which also dynamically evolves nondual co-arising bi-consciousness
of ego-conservationing eco-progressive flow:

“If you have a single, all-encompassing worldview, you use the same basic [healthy bio/ecological systemic] values all the time. It’s easier to be a total conservative or [and] a total progressive [through bicamerally mature-regenerative, confluent rather than dissonant, integrative Left/Right development].”

“But given a human brain,
it can be almost as easy to be biconceptual–
except that moral contradictions do occur
and resolving them does take work by the [cognitive dissonant] brain,
in particular the ventromedial prefrontal cortex [which is the same struggling with/against place Julian Jaynes identifies with reiterative empathic/antipathic maturational evolving of bicameral ego-humanLeft with sacred-ecological Elder Right nurture-systemic-flow consciousness].”

“Biconceptualism is made possible by the [bicameral] brain. First, there is mutual inhibition [either-or messages of mistrust, mutual immunity],
which permits conflicting [cognitive-affective dissonant] modes of thought,
but only one at a time.
Second, there is the difference between general modes of [deductive-Left vertical-hierarchical] thought
versus the special cases [of experiential-affective exegetical memetic bilateral memory RightBrain analogical-ecological trust/mistrust/distrust climates of regenerative/degenerative bicameral fertile-health flow].
Neural[double] binding is the [bio/ecosystemic] mechanism for applying a general [paradigmatic] mode [gestalt] of thought to a special [Left-Right enduringly dissonant rather than resonantly confluent] case, say,
applying general conservatism to health care [as ego-reassurance insurance], or applying general progressivism to global warming [also about climates of health care].”

“In many cases the [network double-] bindings are long-term or [exegetically bicameral-confluent] permanent,
sometimes they are short-term and may [eisegetically, heuristically] change [float, flow back and forth, ebb and flow between conservational EgoLeft and
progressive-integrity EcoRight].
Someone who starts out being a [Yang] conservative on [powering-over] an issue may change;
that is, the neural [double] bindings from the conservative mode of thought to the details of the issue
may be [revolutioned appositional] replaced
by neural [double]bindings from progressive [Yin-integral nutritional transliterative] thought to the same [ecological health-fertile v pathology-virginal-sacred empty (0)-Core-Source-Sum-SoulFlow] issue [within each nonlanguaged timeless right-now co-present moment of bicameral (0)-HealthBalance Consciousness].”

“The two worldviews are modes of reasoning [and empathic/antipathic feeling],
sometimes [heuristic languaged] conscious,
most often unconscious [unlanguaged empathic trust in maturing EgoTruth as Health-MultiCulturing PolyPathic Tradition].
They are general,
above and across [paradigmatic regenerative-Positive network] issue areas.
General conservative [yang ego-WinLose survivalist dominant] reasoning
and general [Yintegral eco-empathic therapeutic wealth-optimizing flow] progressive reasoning can occur on any health v pathology issue–
in economic [health] policy,
in foreign [political health] policy,
on the [healthy or not so much] environment,
about social [health] programs,
about [health and healthy] education
and [finally] health care,
about [healthy biconceptual NatureLeftDominantYang-SpiritRightYintegral eco-bilateral co-arising systemic] religion,
and so on.”

“Can there be authoritarian progressives [YangLeft-YinRight multiculturally-formed and polypathically-functional mature, regenerative absorbing degenerative subclimates]?
In a word. yes.
One reason is that [phylogenic formative Yang] means and [nutritional-ecological Yintegrity] ends can function as different [regenerative health] domains [hemispheres] of experience.
Thus one can have [health-wealth] progressive ends but [Yang LeftDominant] authoritarian conservative means.
One can even, in the extreme, be an authoritarian [yang-patriarchal hierarchical competitive power-over] antiauthoritarian [yin-matriarchal cooperative flow multiculturing nutritional intent].
Imagine someone who runs an advocacy [climate regenerative health] group that is antiauthoritarian [pro from-below nutritional responsibility for/with integrative flow co-arising nondual empowerment] in its [ecopolitical nutritional polypathic multiculturing climate health] goals,
but runs the group itself in an authoritarian [from-above supremacist LeftBrain EgoDominant] way.
Certain union [and faith and health and economic and political] leaders may be hierarchical and punitive in their [Yang LeftBrain dominant] methods,
but [cooperative] progressive in their [regenerative health co-empathic] aims….
There is a name for people with progressive goals and conservative authoritarian [Yang-exegetical (yintegrity-repressed] means: militants!”

[rather than multicultural,
nurturing self-with-other cooperative co-redemptive WinWin empowering,
co-empathic trusting,
co-mentoring bodhisattva
bicameral polypathic advocates;
more Right-embryonically and yet less Left-egocentrically
midway in-between wu wei
bicameral seen and heard and smelled and sensed and loved and traveled.]

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Ground of Becoming

Aristotle thought happiness is the foundation of existence.
Since then, others have worried that maybe survival is closer
to their own more suffering experience.

I don’t exactly disagree with Aristotle,
or with those on the more suffering side of our species.
But, where these two come together, in my experience,
is within the context of health v pathology.

To me, happiness is the Yang-face of health’s Yin-face,
so it is these two together co-arising the foundation
of ego’s regenerative existence,
and degenerative subclimate pathologies.

In learning happy health,
life lived ever more fully,
gracefully,
positive karmically,
as in gaming,
the stress of stretching one’s offensive capacities
is reduced by the belief that we have a perfect defense.
We know there are no WinLose strategic players;
only WinWin intent.
Because we know through co-empathic experience
and the evidence of Earth’s evolution,
that WinWin always optimizes happy-health,
while WinLose suboptimizes
opportunities for developing further co-empathic learning capacities.

So too,
defensive concerns soften and languish
by constant feedback that we have a flawless happy-health offensive strategy for further WinWin learning.

In the real world
there is no more a perfectly conservative defense
against unhealthy suffering
than there is a perfectly evolving offense toward happy health.

In learning healthier living,
cognitive-affective dissonance is our defense against polypathic co-empathy,
our oppositional resistance.

Empathic happy-health psychology,
a deep awareness of our ecopolitical equivalence,
empowers Basic Attendance (0)-sum balance,
our regenerative offensive-centered listening position
for learning effectively,
balancing nurture with challenge,
by noticing our own cognitive-affective defenses,
without which we would have no radical sense of autonomous identity,
no monoculturing monotheistic monochromatic severed ego.

So too, without our primal co-empathic relationship
with our mentoring environment,
we could have no interdependent. ecological happy-health identities.

And yet,
our ego-patriotic conserving defense of happiness
remains a secondary form
in relation to our RightBrain matriotic nurturance function
of a healthy regenerative climate,
learning atmosphere,
ecological integrity of ego-resilient polypaths.

LeftBrain Aristotle thought happiness is the foundation of existence,
because his RightBrain noticed health as his ground of becoming.

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Ghostly Absence of Identity

Underneath all these layers of memory within
and should becomes without
I have nothing left to even become me.

An exhausted ghost
within chemically and organically fertilized union,
a peeled boundary membrane
peeled
and relentlessly final pulp-piled onion water
of nothing but hands to wash
this scent of someone,
a thought
an enfolded smell-swell memory
of time as spatially dynamic and sustained life.

Peeled of all spatial dimension
to be left only with timelessly unbound time
as memory of a full-peeled union,
embryonic promise of a place to call original home,
identity of fragrant unpeeling light,
loving health regenerative,
co-empathic trust,
self-governing as unpeeled Other.

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