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My History of Mystery

We are ecological science
and con-science
and unconsciousness.

We are story
and egological storyteller
and unknown
unheard
unseen.

Earth’s humane act
and actor
and theologically transcendent stasis.

The dance
and dancer
and deaf
and frozen

The song
and singer
and silent
muted
anticipation
and anxiety.

The play
and player
and absent
uninvited
worker.

The thought
and thinker
and feeler
and numb.

The garden
and gardener
and consumer
and starving.

The Earth
and EarthTribe
and Ego
and Interdependent
DNA and RNA place-timed relatives,
matriarchal regenerators
regenerations
degenerations
ungenerated energy
entropy
untropy
anti-morphic
metamorphic
metaphor.

We are leftbrain either/or polynomial
rightbrain polyphonic
ecopolitically polypathic
positive trust energy democracies
health/wealth
ego/ecosystems
bilateral
bicameral
binomial nonzero-sum balancing

The science story,
and consciousness storytellers
and yet unconscious
unfelt
unknown,

The patriarchal history
of and for eco-matriarchal mystery.

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Uncategorized

Retiring Nomad River

I finally finished retiring four years ago,
a process that started in my mid-fifties
due to late adopting kids with special needs,
including needs for me to be home
to personally walk them on,
harness them in,
and wheel them back off, their diverse buses
and robotic ramped vans.

During those final weeks of quasi-gainful employment
I amped up my search for a new home
preferably in New London, CT,
because I had visited, and liked, All Souls UU;

But, possibly in Norwich,
where I have some family,
not necessarily white like me,
or someplace more rural
in-between.

Long story short,
which is not like tangential me,
I ended up
or started out,
depending on where this story starts for you
and me
on the south end of Norwich,
just north of the old State Hospital,
seeking healthy justice
above a steep and brooding bank
down to the troubled Thames River.

From here
it is difficult not to notice
how traffic flows
between Norwich and New London.

But, in the case of All Souls UU
and UU Norwich,
not so much,
maybe not enough.

When I lived in the Hartford area
I joyfully attended the Unitarian Society of Hartford,
a fairly large multicultural tent
filled with reviving gospel music.

So, when looking for a retirement destination,
I traveled on-line to uua.org
to see what might be available
in addition to All Souls New London
and found a small cell,
apparently renters quasi-homeless,
Norwich UU,
or UU Norwich,
or maybe both
I hope.

I pictured no choir,
no active faith formation options
for people of all ages
and figured,
probably not right for me.

Long story maybe a little bit short,
it took me over four years
to make my first Norwich UU visit,
recently.

I found somewhat fewer of us
than the number of Norwich residents
on the All Souls Members and ActiveAllies list.

My background is in cooperative economic
and affordable housing development.

With an MDiv from a Catholic seminary
and a double-Master’s in Public Administration
and Community Development
from Southern Illinois,
Carbondale,
where Bucky Fuller once taught
Synergetics,

It feels awkward
to invest in All Souls together
where all souls are welcome,
by commuting back and forth alone in my blue steel truck,
while there is clearly plenty of room
and welcome
available right in my new home town,
where I now know no one except family,
over four years later.

This is a schizophrenic discomfort
for climate activist
and cooperative local community investor
me.

Back in my early adoption years,
I worked in the Office of Urban Affairs,
New Haven,
for the Archdiocese of Hartford,
where I listened to a great deal of turmoil
about aging and poor urban parishes
thinking about how to join forces
to survive
while sharing a clergy ministry team.

So, I wonder
How would it feel to UU Norwich survivors,
activists,
communicants,
healthy and smart registrants to vote local
while thinking global,
to carpool to All Souls on Sunday mornings,
to sit together
in chairs hooked to-gather,
perhaps joined by us other emigrant immigrant
Norwich residents already All Souls affiliated,

To also share a discussion circle
after the chalice light is extinguished
to check in with each other over coffee,
maybe herbal tea,
to reflect on what we heard
and sang
and sometimes endured, today,

To ponder aloud how this speaks
and does not speak
why
and how
and when we arrive together
back in Norwich,
having solved
and resolved to absolve
most of the Thames River watershed issues
rolling back and forth
and swelling in-between
this tidal river’s ups and downs.

Perhaps some of us
or even all of us
would also like to form a Sanctuary Circle
meeting during the week.

Maybe have lunch together,
share our Norwich organizing
and multicultural explorations together,
contribute to All Souls Green Sanctuary
and GRACE anti-racism projects,
restore justice to replace retributive injustice,
speak power with truth,
live together, not apart,
more resiliently.

Perhaps it is possible
to grow more robust
as a distinguished part
of All Souls,
combine resources,
economize cooperatively,
ecologize more holistically
and theologize more healthily
without losing Norwich UU tradition,
focus
mission,
effective
resonance,
green and black and brown and rainbow
resilience.

As for me,
I’m still looking at New London
real estate listings
while troubled about abandoning
a nomad’s home
in which I never let myself fully invest

While dreaming of emigrating further south
downriver toward climatically rising water levels
while still in my first five carbon-burning years
of retiring immigration.

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Uncategorized

Not That You Depressingly Asked

Not that you asked,
or ever would feel free to inquire,
yet perhaps you grow ready to listen
to a voice inviting exit
from your,
and our,
long loneliness,
self-contempt,
isolation so shelled-over,
so embedded,
you are sure we are each and all
unredeemably alone

In our envy of others,
the positive deviants
with apparently healthy organic
and resonant
and resilient relationships

While we remain powerless to conjure enough curiosity
to discover
and/or rediscover
our own win/win potentialities,
personal
and political,
economic
and ecologically regenerative.

Depression conjures
dark apartness messes
all your own too-competitive fault.

But, your depression,
emotional and/or economic,
political and/or environmental,
like my own,
is no more or less your fault
than is Donald Oompa Trumpa President
of all anti-ecological wisdom,
a new ungreen post-millennial oxymoron,
and Earth’s algorithmic degeneration
into lose/lose fragility,

And privileged human SuperEgo’s declention
disarray
dismay
despair into xenophobic rabidity
oligarchical madness
global depression
mutual suppression
liberally invested in every thing
but love,
curiosity
recovering win/win birth canal memory,
a magical moment of hope for Earth’s warm light
of lifetime win/win recovery.

Your depression is your fault
only in this warm right-brain accompaniment sense
of feeling and knowing we are a fluid,
yet stuck, State
that is our shared win/lose fault
of left-brain dominating culture
parsing compassion stingily,
saving for glorious and
win/win right-brain interdependent
un-lonely Rapturous sacred end.

But, as every community organizer
and integral permaculture designer
and restorative justice advocator
knows from win/win v win/lose v loselose
retributive v restorative justice experience,
we cannot end a resilient health-building project
that will include
any and all multicultural win/win faith
if we did not embody already inside
as we began
pushing through our original organic tunnel
toward Earth love’s first light
and unmuted sounds
of greeting,
warm accompaniment
universal co-present love,

Hope
faith in EarthMother’s warm feeding breast
from whence we each compassion came
come
and go.

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Soup Kitchen Luncheon

He said s/he was a Permaculture Designer
of cooperative economies.

I asked him/her why I should care about designs
long-term
while I am still struggling through this day
before tomorrow,
when I, best case scenario,
awaken healthy
to begin surviving yet another day
before night’s cold unrest.

So glad you asked
s/he seemed to say
without youthful presumption
of telling me what I already knew,
Good question!

Permaculture Design is rooted in Game Theory,
for those more math and economic science inclined,

Defining our cooperatively-held
long-term resilient
public and private
secular and sacred health outcomes

Through win/win projections
and ego/ecotherapeutic
0/1 cooperative bilateral co-relational zone analysis.

Before I had a chance to mention
that this does not warmly resonate
for the 99% who could care less about theoretical
and/or experiential
math and economic science,

S/he continued,
For those more politically empowerment/disempowerment oriented,
Cooperative Permaculture Design
follows your/our most optimally resonant
left/right
onezone/zerozone
nature/spirit
Western dualism/Eastern elite/non-elite nondualism
polycultural relationships
balancing polypathic designs with polyphonic health/wealth synergy,
resilient either/or deductive thinking
AND resonant both/and bicameral inductive compassion therapy,
ego-internal as integral with eco-contextual.

While this, too, seemed far too abstract
for warm and inviting lunchtime conversation,
I asked if s/he might try again
about how this could possibly change our lives together.

This same economic and political health framework
can be applied to restoring social justice,
civic cooperativity,
civil rights,
racial multicultural inclusiveness,
environmental Climate Justice

Negatively defined by
all that is equally not-not polycultural injustice;
a universal type of ego/eco double-binary restoration
of internal/external fairness

Morally
and legally
and economically
and politically
and socially health preferable
to win/lose retributive “justice”

Which can never produce win/win global green peace
today,
tonight,
tomorrow,
cold unrestful tomorrow night.

While this still feels too much like tomorrow’s promise,
at best 2021 integrity of right mindbody prominent hindsight,
I still had not finished my thin slice
of dryly donated white vanilla cake,
so I stayed through final summary.

By “integral”
we mean cooperative integrity,
synergy,
positively interdependent me/we relationship
and universally inclusive throughout spacetime

Designs composed of equivalently appreciated nutritional systems,
systemically democratic energy,
power, incoming and outgoing,
nutrients of mutually respirated respect,
communications multiculturally
and polyculturally
inclusive,
engaging,
inviting,
co-passionate,

Worthy of warm resonant lunchtime discussion
and afternoon implementation
and resilient/resonant dreams
of flying together
more than falling apart.

To this day
when I hear “climate”
I also hear polycultural atmosphere
economically and politically healthier
than monocultural attitude.

I’m sometimes still hungry
and feel homeless,
but now this is a cooperative hunger
and shared cold dry absence
of multigrain communion.

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New Year’s Recycling Journey

Stepping into a new year,
especially one calling for 20/20 revision
reform
not retribution for anger’s past
but restoration of WinLeft/WinRight bicameral sanctuary,

Stepping into a new ZeroZone Asylum,
positive deviance from leftbrain competitions
deductive,
predicting reductive,
business as usual.

Positive left/right harmonic deviance
invites cooperative resistance
against a shared predative,
light-skinned,
patriarchal,
hopelessly heterosexual privileged enemy
of all the non-elite people
emerging from leftbrain dominant climates
of EarthTribe colonization,
extraction of life,
enslaving monopolization of body-power,
abuse,
disembodied neglect,

Shared asylum against negative lose/lose nihilism,
fake elitist monotheistic Rapture,

Against positive win/win passion,
compassionate communication,
ego/eco left/right yang/yin bicameral therapy.

Stepping into this NewYear ZeroZone
can be yet another
in an undistinguished
degenerative lose/lose series,

Lacking 20/20 sensory-neural
bilateral
binomial
polypathic/polyphonic
co-passioning
revolutionary revision,
restoring peace,
Earth Climate Justice,
inside as outside,
inspiration as exhalation
enlightening as empowering
not-not yin as positive intersectional yang
exponential 0 as multiculturing 1
incoming wealth herstory as outgoing polyculturing health

Ecofeminist 2020
predicting trimtab strategic
global health possibility
of a robust 2121
compassionate
cooperative wealth-climaxing
EarthSanctuary.

May this win/win celebration game
begin not win/lose degenerating all over again,
but, instead, grab hold of regenerative becoming
NewGreen MultiCultural Asylum.

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Therapeutic Touch

I would not defend inappropriate touching,
whether this touching is physically toxic
or verbally violent,
aggressive,
contemptuous,
beyond the pale of ego-healthy assertive,
reducing political economic subjects
to personal objectives.

Inappropriate touching
becomes much too toxic
in absence of therapeutic touching
of individual egos
and communal economic
eco-logical cooperative relationships.

I would speak out
reach out
listen to hearts and lungs and guts and minds and bodies
networks and systems and energy climates for appropriate touching,
physically therapeutic
care-giving as win/win compassioned care-receiving,
verbal warm accompaniment,
harmony-seeking,
felt resonance,
within our non-violent communication pale
of eco-wealthy communion,
LeftBrain empowering
and RightBrain enlightening

Further vast expanses
of spacetime positive touching,
energy exchange,
nutritional relationships

Resonant organic-balancing Earth,
Ego-felt and Eco-touching Resilience.

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Wealthy 2020 Climates

What do I mean
when I struggle to define my vocation
as a Climate Activist?

How am I anxious
and how might I more positively
anticipate?

An Activist,
hoping for resilient interrelationship
and resonant communication equity,
feedback and forth loops,
is, first, a listening contemplative,
Reflector,
Meditator,
EgoTherapeutic Investor.

We listen
not only with and for egalitarian balance,
non-violent communications,
compassionate cooperative therapies,
democratic relationships of warm appreciation,
but also with and for multicultural win/win input
predicting robust health
of dynamic climate outcomes.

But, what could we mean
by longing for a more sacred Climate?
Green organic outside,
red-blooded holistic nutrition inside.

Climate may be habitat
and energy system,
healthy when not only democratically egalitarian
but also inclusively,
organically interdependent,
like networks of self/other-regenerating systems.

Climates,
ecological and neurological,
outside and inside,
seek healthy harmonies,
musical muses,
liturgical dancers
cast by revolving Earth
and revolutionary peace-trusting EarthTribes,
spinning in-between Sun and Moon,
external and internal win/win orbits
of light and dark,
health and pathology,
love and hate,
communication and dissociation,
relationship and segregation,
rightbrain intersectionality and leftbrain either/or reductive apartheid,
yinflow both/and yang-strength.

In this uneven
unresolved
LastDay
eternally timeless moment
of 19 year old anxiety, for non-elite youthful listeners,
of anticipation, for seasoned polypath poets
and priests,
polyphonic preachers
and multi-theistic teachers
and Climate Activist polycultural prophets

Unfolds tomorrow’s Alpha 2020 Day
of democratic energy optimization,
equally and interdependently heard system inside
before resiliently and resonantly felt
before spoken
with universal
transparently substantial
gratitude,
2020 outside,
secular/sacred ReMembering.

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