Author Archives: gdill52

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Unsettling Spirits

Oddly unsettling,
how The UnHolonic Spirit compels conservative,
defensive feelings
of autonomous ego-righteousness
when we see our physically healthy robust selves
elitely privileged,
maybe even aristocratically WinLose kleptocratic
as short-term necessary
for ego’s Business As Usual convenience.

The Yang-expedient violent communicator,
Creator of WinLose GetReal natural systems,
privileged predator success
over non-elite prey,
failing myth-tellers,
perpetual provokers,
defenders of privileged competitions,
economies
and polities
and even domestic family relationships,
parent v adolescent child,
where Daddies know best

Especially after sustaining chronic stress
from State-sponsored military-industrializing unschools
marketing hate
xenophobic automated rifle-bearing
selling fear of Aliens
feeding on claustrophobic LeftBrain dominant anger,
fed and profusely watered,
engorged

Anger about what, though?
I am never oppressively/suppressedly sure.
Separation from MotherEarth’s health/wealth
WinWin nondualistic
ego/eco-balancing
internal/external
theological/ecological
warm wet womb
of nutritionally promising happier
healthier lifetime days?

An originally radical democratic nurture-economy
does feel far afield,
this side of Kingdom’s Paradise,
holding a gun to guts of threatening enemies
while fearing anonymous threats
from unruly LoseLose heads of enemies.

Maybe fear
that God the Yangful Father
seems more frighteningly co-present,
especially since pathological climate pollution science
came out of Her Gaian ecofeminist closet,
Angry Father feels monoculturally more powerful
than healthy-wealth flowing multicultural HolySpirit
of non-elite everyday creolizing co-operations
casually experiencing positive WinWin deviant psychological balance.

Those seeking to bicamerally restore democratic justice
rather than redistribute punishing plutocratic extractions
by overpowering these despairing poor
we will always have with us
to clean our WinEgo/LoseEco toilets,
pick our prickly/gooey cotton,
build our empirical LeftBrain dominant
RightBrain prominent
pyramids of ego/eco-empowerment.

Oddly unsettling,
how The UnHolonic Spirit compels conservative,
defensive feelings
of autonomous ego-righteousness
when we see our physical pyramid-productive selves
elitely privileged for WinLose competitions,
rather than WinWin healthy co-operations.

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Fight and Flee Free

Some would say,
although not LaoTse,
and maybe not the Lakotae,
certainly not Animae,
or my Aunty Mae
on Mary Jae,

Egos just wanna fight or flee
or something strangely Other
than with or against
ego-viral identity.

But Taoists
healthy-Yang with wealthy-Yin display,
In-between fight and flee
lies our more ambiguously WinWin transubstantiating Way,
already there,
for those who Left with Right see
what we could be
with actually quite a bit more integrity.

Synergy between opposing Elite/NonElite emotions
need not necessarily end in quick-sand
UnHoly Spirited chaos
of alien ambiguous Other,
mere positive or negative or not-not double-boundup intentions
hiding on Other side
of ego fragmentation–

Integrity remains Earth’s original eco-interdependent
RightMind intuition
of and for creative dipolar apposition
between active fight and passive flee
non-abusive
non-neglectful
non ego-narcissistic
non anthro-hubris
WinWin RealTalk communication,
too non-violently curious to fight,
too non-aggressively courageous to flee.

Sometimes,
between fight and flee
and you
and me,
I prefer to listen to divinely majestic mountains
and whisper through Earth’s HolySpirited valleys
promising to return
to our originally democratic
blue-green surfing sea.

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SomeTimes

Everything growing so wild
and faithfully beneath
the sky,
wondering why we are the terrible
part of creation

Yang privileged
to refuse our yin-feminist flowering,
our own more cooperative ownership
and transparently universal management
of yang wants,
diseased not wants,
with, and not against,
yin wealthy yet non-elite
feeling

Now suppressed absence
of healthy resilient
green echoing eco-school
appealing.

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Scriptures of Communion

In prose,
Writers hope to accurately capture
both felt and thought experiences,
realistic and unrealistic,
in a way that suggests
our writer knows and can deeply feel
the differences and similarities
between realistic and not so much.

Poets hope to not only capture
accurately felt and thought experiences,
realistic and unrealistic,
natural and spiritual,
but share this internal experience
embedding and thereby challenging
writers’ readers in shared language of communion.

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Black Life Shatters

My oldest son,
one of the few Earth-mattering
Earth-shattering
Black lives
I was made to protect
to guide
by eco-righteous WinWin acts
and co-passioning words,

Felt, and therefore was, disempowered,
worthless,
like helpless prey among predators
who listen to the same rap,
same urban Earth writes,
same multicultural performances,
When a gun was dispassionately pointed at his head.

This was only tangentially about an economic exchange
primal, personally and politically, targeted.

He felt violated,
and threatened,
already home and identity invaded,
when forced to hand over his car keys,
and the back door
and front door
keys to his home.

He knows these guys,
where to find them on Facebook,
at the casino,
in the dance and rap clubs
where he invested
infested
while still in high school.

Urban night school, unEarthly,
earthy
darkly sensual.

He does not know where to find them in church.
Gospel music is for grandmothers.
Liturgical dance,
sacred rituals,
are for outside romance
on warm wet wombed erotic nights.

He felt naked
exposed
terrified when they demanded his last dime.

This is his biggest and baddest bully,
his most deeply echoing “LOSER!”
His darkest dirge
speaking of suicidal revenge.

Or prison,
where Earth’s great white patriarchal State,
will put a gun to his head
and force him to remove his clothes
and bend over
to assume the even more lost position,

Raped of any future hope
to rest outdoors
after an ecstatic liturgical dance
under a romantic full moon
rapping
and dancing
ultra-violet variations
on a warm wet wombed
bright delight.
Not So Bright Delight

You talk our talk
like Black Lives Matter,
but you walk your own walk
as Black lives shatter,
Brown lives stutter,
Green lives splinter.

What’s a-matter?

You want to want
all lives to splatter?
Might hear to hear
RealTalk ain’t chatter,

You eat to eat
friends heads on platters.
We taste to see
your fake get fatter.

Your act is tired.
Your allies scatter.
You need to feed
on guns’ disaster.

Come on now, Felix,
What’s a-matter?
Where’s your commitment
to Black Lives Matter?

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Kleptocracy

I’m reading this book about germs and guns and steel
and pre-history
and human history,
predators and prey,
and people praying they won’t be predatored.

You know,
light bedtime reading.

So, this guy who wrote the book…

No, not the Daniel Quinn thing.
Quinn thinks the beginning and end of our nutritional civilization story
is food production.
He forgets we can also hear cooperative health
and overly-rabid pathologies,
like CEOs calling “bleed the poor to feed those already too rich”
“tax cuts”.

I mean,
I guess they are tax cuts
if you happen to be in the top 20% US income bracket,
but that seems to miss the healthier democratic point
that Lower 80% Lives Matter Too.

No, not Quinn,
it is this younger guy,
Jared Diamond,
who probably never even met Thomas Merton.

Diamond mentions “kleptocracy”
where I would have used “plutocracy”
or “aristocracy”
rather than “democracy”
but this sounded too kleptomanic
to nutritiously feed integrity
of national health
and personal
and family
and non-elite wealth.

So I had to look up this kleptocracy word
to see if it might be the economist’s view
of the political scientist’s view
of plutocracy.

And, sure enough,
here it is,
right, but feeling very wrong,
on dictionary.com:
“A government or state in which
those in power exploit national resources
and steal”

This sounds familiar
from the Declaration of Independence,
in which the original USA forefathers
informed the British aristocracy
that we are all done
with the stealing of natural and human resources
thing they called “taxes” and “fees”
and the white male property owners
(including slaveowners)
called tribute
and extortion.

Meanwhile I was listening to the Cohen testimony
about some plutocratic kleptocrat
racist extortionist
buying and selling his white privileged way
into our way too WhiteHouse
extolling the unabashed value of WinLose capitalism,
so long as those born into “Win” households
remain unfettered from their colonizing
and extorting
and racist
and homophobic
and xenophobic lack
of any semblance
of traditional Christian virtues
or Islamic virtues,
or Buddhist virtues,
or Taoist virtues,
or Hindu virtues,
or Jewish virtues,
or democratic constitutional well-being
and prosperity virtues.

So, there you go,
I’ve already learned my new word for this plutocratic day
and kleptocratic nightmare.

Who knew?
We have words for everything
someone might ever need
to slice and dice
and serve up,
like food production
to grow less healthy
uncivilized undemocracies.

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Einstein Speaks

Old Albert was frustrated.

He knew his famous ego-identity came from this solar eco-system
with four interdependent dimensional voices.

He felt his own original moment began with ZeroSum nutritional balance
between eco-centered womb
and emerging ego-centered identity,

And, he felt he would soon return
to some mysterious Zero DeadZone identity
as an interdependent eco-relative inter/outer-relationship
formerly languaged
and autonomously identified organic system,

But, Albert couldn’t quite articulate
his lifetime longed for universal theory
of early interdependent metric
geometric
ecometric ego/eco-bilateral co-relativity function.

Old Albert knew he was losing his cherished mind
to dementia,
and he knew from a lifetime of deep meditation,
if he thought out loud in words
he might better remember
what he called “Thought Experiment” medications
for his universally commodified cognitive LeftBrain
and his affective effluent unitarian-flowing RightBrain

Imaging 3D spatial revolving change
in 4D temporal-fractal whole-system revolutions
of wave-linear eco-systemic childhood memories,
like co-relational DNA
bilateral internal strings
of historic trans-regenerative images
in 4D interweaving undulations of nurturing rhythm.

So, Albert mumbled to himself
in universal-stage whispers
others might hear
but not comprehend,

Not because Albert hoped to obfuscate communication just yet,
but to help his ego LeftBrain language
develop and retain what he still felt could be new re-memories
as his burning metric vocation
to resolve Earth’s interdependently fertile history
at least within his own RightBrain’s feeling
of synergetic accomplishment,

Old Albert still looked for bicameral resolution
of troubling absent complete integrity
of math and science
symmetric arts of interdependent theory
through healthy WinWin
and not pathological LoseLose language

Ancient voices of metric natured ecosystems
and isometric spiritual ego-meditations
inspired by infant memories
of some distantly not-not polynomial 4D Paradise,

Some warm wet womb
composed of dual dark fecundity
from which he had ego/eco
patriarchal/matriarchal robustly emerged

Until now
in Albert’s last organically autonomous days,
reduced to speaking his internal meditations
out loud
on his smaller ego-centered fragmentary stage voice
hoping to remember
what both his Left and Right communicating networks
used to universally and interdependently hope to become
togethering

ZeroZone potential integrity
paid forward cooperatively EarthCentric,
nutritional ego-economic synergy
and eco-empowering meditating/medicating
not ZeroSum universally interdependent
WinWin ego/eco-consciousness.

Go ahead,
Albert mumbled,
Left to silent Right dominantly-prominently interdependent,
start with classic discernment,
“If I were to die tomorrow,
what would I hope to have universally accomplished
during my unitarian ego/eco-relational life?
Whether as a professional Integral Universal 4D Designer,
or a more Regenerative EarthJustice Green Advocate,
or more of an everyday avocation,
a DiPolar CoArising Multicultural Landscaper.”

Later,
we actively hope,
after he had entirely run through his LeftBrain languaged punch list
of imaged RightBrain eco-relational ideas,
Albert may have moved on to,
“If I were to die tomorrow,
if everyone I know and love were to die with me,
voiceless tomorrow,
what would we mumbling hope to have accomplished
more articulately together
during our ego/eco-cooperatively compassionate 4D lives?”

Whether as resilient WinWin integral health-passioned landscapes,
biotic natural/spiritual ego/ecosystems,
or mere ego-fragmented
LoseLose nihilistic
economically disempowered disease disasters
having finally arrived at our LeftBrain deductively logical
tragically autonomous
self-unfulfilling ZeroSum prophecy.

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Practice Makes Praxis

When I mention my morning meditation practice,
many respond with wishes and hopes
they could
would
should discipline themselves
to also join in to this practice
practice
praxis
until fragmented uncommunicative ego/ecosystems
finally get life resiliently realistically right
more than ego-narcissistically wrong.

But this,
I ego-think and eco-feel,
reverses what is a more eco-centrally profound point
of ZeroZone cosmic-organic view.

Everyday life is already our active meditation
which we Win/Lose practice,
Business As Usual practice
praxis
until we hope to get us
interdependently Win/Win healthy right
more than Lose/Lose pathologically diseased wrong.

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