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Haunted By Wonder

I have become haunted by wonder,
within wonder,
surrounded by Wonder,
made of Wonder
these past few days
and troubling nights.

I have also become terrorized by vindication,
vindictive Win/Lose relationships
learned from retributive justice philosophers
who are also parents
and teachers,
so also soldiers
and Win/Lose economic and political leaders
vindicating themselves,
vindictive ourselves
against others who stand
in our colonizing,
rather than creolizing,
way.

Robin Wall Kimmerer
shares a Wonder dream
in a village market
where fresh bread and strawberries
are exchanged in a gift economy
of Wonder at what we have made
with God’s MotherEarth,
“the merchants were just intermediaries
passing on gifts from the earth.”
(Braiding Sweetgrass, p. 29)

Gift economies,
when healthy and fair,
mature and cooperatively-owned and managed,
learn everything about Win/Win Wonder
and lose sight of Win/Lose
much more Lose/Lose
vindictive ecopolitics.

When love is optimizing
we find no room for punitive vindications.

Wonder is the land of
Restorative Justice,
Permaculture Design,
CoOperative (0)Sum Feminist PostMillennial Economics,
ReGenerative (0)Soul ReVolutions
rather than same tired DeGenerative Vindications
of retributive justice
and angry,
vengeful,
patriarchal gods,
false idols of anything less than
both metaphysical spiritual Wonder universes
and physical natural planet EarthMother CoOperatives
with loving Wonder as Original Constitutional Intent
of the Ten Commandments toward love
but not the AntiChrist Jihad
of retributive ethnocentric vindictiveness.

God nor Allah
ever play Lose/Lose games
of mutual vindictiveness,
retributive justice positions
that settle for means to destroy,
without thought of how to first love
in a conscious state of Wonder
for this Win/Win gift economy
of restorative justice
invited by Gaia (0)Soul Principles
of nondualistic philosophies,
therapeutic religions promoting Positive Win/Win Wonder spiritualities,
municipalities
devoiding fake-spiritual monoculturing paths
that would settle for mere vindication
of one’s right to breathe
and speak freely,
when these could be multiculturally celebrated.

We individually,
and as a species of potential Wonder and Love,
have this fundamental choice to make
each minute of each revolving day
to see ourselves and our environments
as justified from Win/Lose retribution
or justified through mutually therapeutic Win/Win restoration.

These last few days,
and months,
here in the USA,
thinking about,
Does patriotism invite restorative justice more
and vindictive punishing blaming and shaming less?
I have also stood in stunned wonder
about how our Elders’ political and economic independence
from vindictive oppression of royalist plutocrats
provided such a rich fertile nationalism
for further vindictive plutocratic oppression
over our natural world,
de-sacralized,
reduced from nature-spirit nondual Wonder
to further vindictive climates for further oppression,
suppression,
victimization,
criminalization.

This is not what I expected
from an Office pledging patriotic allegiance
to the more perfectly uniting health and welfare
polyculturing democracy
of and for WinWin Earth-restorative justice.

It has been said
it is our healthy role of governance
to make it easier for compatriots
to do mutual good,
to restore Win/Win just relationships
of mutual Wonder
through cultures where gratitude
is planted and watered and harvested
so that monocultures of vindictive ingratitude
will evaporate
like the paranoid patriarchal fascinations
from which they broke through
our normativity of regenerate Wonder.

Restorative healing processes
are also liturgically co-messianic transubstantiations
of Wonder
Love
Grace
(0)Sum CoOperative EarthTribe Peace
as Ego-EcoJustice
restoring Eden’s potential balance
through gift redistribution
restoring Wonder
about benign nondual predation
while actively wondering
what therapeutic gift do I most owe myself
and others?

What restorative gifts do we most owe all Nations
this day
of Win/Win Wonder?

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WinWin Invested Wombs

Before dimensional
discontinuous investment returns
of MotherLand
there was a water womb
of continuous gifts
growing through primal matriarchal relationship
of deep gifting vulnerability.

Intimate wonder comes prior to thoughts
of becoming more deeply connected,
invested,
in both natural and spiritual ways.

Warm water womb
births landscapes
for exploring nature-spirits,
whether emerging from a distended womb
or a fertile egg
or a vulnerable seed
filled with wondrous unfolding potential integrities
of previously well-Landed interrelationships.

Restorative justice and peace
originates here,
in water’s intimate embryo
fueled by a gift economy of WinWin Wonder
predicting politically powerful cooperative relationships
should we Land
and continue regeneratiing
restoring Zero-Sum balance
love
harmony
grace
synergy
between Yang passions of well-wombed egos
and yin’s restorative wombs
sufficient
perfect
nutritional nurturing integrity
of purpose
with healthy intent,
vocations reweaving wealthy Landed cultures
born of EarthMother’s vulnerable
intimate politically double-bound warm waters.

For there to be retributive Land beneath our exhausted feet
there was first restorative water
to welcome our potential gifts.

For us to become filled with Earth’s spatial wonders
there was first a timeless bilateral gift economy,
sufficiency as grace
through vulnerable sacred nurturing,
secular nutritioning,
WinWin dipolar exchanges,
wealth of healthing Wonder.

Before the dualism of landscapes
there was water immersion.
Before restorative water,
waves of redistributive winds.
Before winds of time and change and revolutions,
sacred WinWin Wonder.

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Teaching Integrity of Peace

What is our primal purpose
for continuing this troubling relationship?
asked Yang of Yin.

If you are clueless
then you have not been listening
to us
as actively as nondual times would predict,
replied Yin against Yang.

For me,
this purpose is to enjoy Sacred MotherEarth,
but I preferred to hear yours first,
again,
your speaking grace
where silence contemplatively rules,
replied Yang more gently back to Yin.

As we both well know,
for me
each space is time sufficient
for ecological gratitude,
neither mere secular reasons of nature
nor more romantic euphoria of serene spirits
planting as you harvest what we more cooperatively nurture,
defined Yin toward Yang.

We are
this yintegrity of gratitude
for enjoying MotherEarth’s outdoor Golden Ruling places
Golden Ratio Voices
Golden Elixir Schools for learning sacred ecology,
ecopolitics of cooperativity
as geese form immigration journeys
as co-emigrant bilateral functions of democracy
riding winds back and forth above waters
washing streams of cooperative fertile time,
integrity of you and me
as spacetime wu-wei We,
sings Yang while Yin dances
through mutually enjoying gratitude,
singing grace
dancing rhythms
of EarthMother’s fire-circle ecstasy.

What are primal relationships
for continuing this troubling dance?
asked YinWater under YangWinds
revolving Sacred EarthTime
together integrity.

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Random Acts of Grace

I wonder if our reasons
for growing random acts of violence
are similar
to our dwindling random acts of reasoned healing,
kindness,
gratitude,
unrequited love,
uncommodified,
unconscripted,
unscripted,
uncontained
restoring cooperative ecopolitical relationships forward
not just because this is our right and healthy familial thing to do
but because we multiculturally know and extend,
believe and intend
actively faith
these are our greatest
most noble
most therapeutic gifts of hope
given before punishments
for random acts of violence
could even have become conspired.

It has been speculated
by military-industrial hypnotized media
seeking short-term sensational profits,
and by cynical economic and political prophetic voices,

We have become numb
to millions of homeless children,
many of whom are now being burnished,
refurnished
and retooled
as LoseLose suicidal nihilistic soldiers,
pawns for burning with emotional hate
without ever having known love’s potential maturity.

Permanently stuck on pre-adolescent
survival of the All MonoCulturing Male Unit
erasing hard-fought memories
of compassion
for growing up among millions of homeless children
of all multiculturing genders
and nearly all species
with possible exceptions
for scavengers,
like cockroaches
and river rats
and millions of starving children
drowning
melting
fired-up fuel fading from view of homeless futures
requiring further punishment
for bothering to persistently survive
on air waves
and water
and plants
bought and sold
and too-patriarchally owned by other,
supposedly adult,
mature people,
presumed to only know how to play
I Win
so You Lose
competing evolutionary MightMakes GodRight games.

I wonder if our reasons
for random acts of restorative justice
to achieve healthy WinWin
outcome reminders
our troubling predators with our disturbing prey
could become permaculturally relearning opportunities
revolutionarily expanding
mentors among these already starving homeless children
and non-consenting adults,
sibling and tribal groups
health care giving and receiving as best we can,
not having seen or heard or felt bilateral co-operative WinWin
opportunities for renewing climates of health
since successfully departing
our long dead EarthMothers’ wombs.

When punishing weapons
for addiction to violent choices
are accessible to those who believe they,
and we,
can holistically afford them,
can afford to compromise investments with integrity,
our rights of WinWin ownership requited,
then those raised more through retribution’s fear and anger
than restoration’s love and healthy synergy
will always flood our gun shops first
and ballistic associations last
through clouding media’s ecopolitical marketing of death
and terror
over cooperatively-owned matriarchal-patriarchal balancing life
as yin with yang restorations,
preyors of benign predation
loving bilateral revolutionary relationships,
mutual creolizations within all ecotherapeutic EarthTribes
for social arts and communication,
and scientific enculturation,
deep learning cooperative restoration
of mutual education.

Deep learning
among homeless childhood memories
of double-boundaries
for healing lost compassions.

Violence corrupts this void
left through grace’s wrongful absence.

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Irrational Numbers, with Lyrical Pretensions

The number of folks sitting
on the back porch
waiting
for peace to strike,
like waiting for my garden to grow
without yet having planted it.

The number of people
noticing that chronic victims
suffer from critical victimization events,
minus the number who also notice
that chronic crimers
also suffer from critical
criminalization
events.

The number of people
horrified by the number of victims
of prejudicial discriminashunishtion
against their ethnicity,
economic lack of class,
and suitable gender,
and age of maturation
but also unaware
of how we celebrate
positive multicultural discriminations
for diverse ethnicities,
economic cooperative sufficiencies
of fairly decent incomes,
genders, including preferences,
and age-appropriate behaviors.

The number of folks who also see
impoverishment and marginalization,
chronic social criminalization,
whenever they hear it said
of retributive justice,
deterrent incapacitation
and restraint
as additional most negative,
and possibly unnecessary, constraints.

The number of folks we retributively select
willing to settle
for uniform dark punishments
of retributive overkill,
without the slightest hint of redistributive overjoy
most anywhere
for or with anyone,
mistaking this for the unity of restorative purposes
we more peacefully
and co-redemptively
so long for.

The number of excellent scientists and parents
seeking deductively reasoned
learning processes by day
while dreaming inductively co-operatively
seeking warmer compassions through each night.

The number of economists
and politicians too,
of parents
and educators
recognizing communication
through diversely humming channels beyond simply straightforward speaking
and hearing
and watching,
to include RNA’s more regeneratively primal
feeling
and tasting
and absorbing
through rooting systems,
functioning like reverse lickers
and stickers
and salivators
and saps
and pheromone freaks.

The number of scientists
who might somehow come to realize
that tree conversations
could take place through rooting systems
underground,
plus those who also celebrate implications
that tree co-empathic conversations are,
at their highest co-operative best,
currently over our mutually
co-regeneratively
reiterating heads.

The number of folks
who feel complicit
in our punished guilt
plus those who can still celebrate
our nature’s mutually complicit passions,
born both loving predator
and beloved prey,
until parents and Sunday School
and day care teachers teach other not-so-wise.

The number of communication buffs
who think these two populations,
society’s predators and victims
reallllly neeeeed to talk,
and listen,
and not so much both at the same time,
and probably not lick
or hit with a stick
because that would be so icky.

The number of kids
who would predict
that their parents
and teachers
will compete to heat our climates up
so we all can drown together,
regardless of primal
tribal
co-identities.

The number of prophets
recognizing selves
as original native residents
of indigenous EarthTribes,
speaking
and listening
cooperatively for co-planting,
and thereby growing,
ego’s active cooperating peace
as and of and for
eco-restorationelating justice,
Left in rational solidarity with SacredRight,
DNA mutually sniffing RNA’s
optimal Paradisal CoOperating Climates.

The number of folks
still settling for talking and praying
against demonic climate changes,
when we could also be cooperatively planting
and growing
rich climates of health,
cultures of gratitude
at least for and with front porch
EarthFlag-waving
Positive PsychoEcoLogists.

The number of people
who fail to recall
that what ever you were taught as
Orthodoxy’s Sacred Truth,
at one time
was first naturally felt and sensed
as eisegetical WinWin hope,
mutually-licking and sticking
hypo-principaling around theses
with their appositional un- and anti-theses.

The number of systemic processors
actively hoping
for zero-sum
ego-in
eco-out
balancing,
Plus-Plus double-binding
both before
and after notnotnotnot yet
bilaterally timeless linear Time
restoring polypathic RealTime Tipping Points
of ZeroSoul rationality.

The number of Earth’s creatures
waiting for war’s continuing fires to drop
when we could more cooperatively learn
to wait instead for peace’s inside-outside
other secular-sacred nondual loving shoe to drop.

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Broken Planting Oaken Tree

We have tree traditions,
still accessible in diverse backward
and forward
reforesting cultures,
of planting a commemorative tree
when a great and portentous series of loving events
comes to its untimely rest.

Recently
my middle son’s lifetime friend
decided it was time to travel with the starlight
and so he left us heartbroken,
trying to be happy for him,
and sad without him,
to become OK with his decision
that he had uncovered enough sadness
despair
depression.
His final vote was cast
and no one else was invited
to participate in his great transitional selection.

So, my son and I
will go into our messy forest
also known as the back lot,
where former residents have dumped asphalt roofing shingles,
and buried an entire breaking down garage.

If we were to dig deeper than necessary
we would probably find other mislaid treasures.
Shattered glass bottles and hearts
and open rusted food and toxic feeling cans,
and plastic of all dismembering colors
and ugly unshapely shards of angst,
but this day
we will dig only as deep as we must.

We will first visit a handful of oak babies
sprouting up under bushes in the side yard
and among poison ivy on the north side
so my son can choose which of these
will become Greg’s oak tree of new life
not beyond
yet still after suicidal death.

We will prepare this sapling’s new home,
digging a deep and wide welcoming hole
among back lot brambles of our thoughts and feelings,
then clear away potential choking vines and voices
now covering a clearing
surrounding trees have left
just right enough for a growing Greg
Large shade tree
to hug my son’s grandchildren,
and their Greg the OakTree loving children.

Then we will uproot our chosen new life tree
with reverence
and baptize her future MotherTree roots
of sacred fertility,
and as we sprinkle holy compost
to shade her vulnerable transparency to shaded light,
we will sing our allegiance to gratitude
for each life created through Father Sun,
nourished with Mother Earth,
sadly smiled with sacred GrandMother Moon,
sprinkling sounds of thanks
for each day
of each life
this oak tree,
as Greg,
will continue bringing us.

We will read and look and listen as Jesus taught
it is ungrateful sacrilege to remain angry
about not having received more grace
than we could have earned with more generosity of time,
when we could choose instead
to give thanks for each day shared with us
doing the best we can,
to give care as we would continue to receive.

Our love for Greg
grows through this oak tree’s future shade,
and west wind protection
for all our future days of thanksgiving
and suffering lost loss,
security for our children’s
healthy and happier children
knowing
remembering
feeling
sensing
this canopy grown Greg
still choosing flight
with starlight nights.

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So Let Me Tell You

So let me tell you,
if I’m looking between lives
with multicolors
and gentle genders
and green cards
in one graceful hand,

And Trump-heavy President fixation
away from restoring
Earth’s ecojustice for All
on the other RightWing denomination,

Then let me tell you
seeking Trumpish twitters
of self-congratulating trumphalism
as more patriotic
then loyal honored deep Yintegrity

On Gaian liberated knee
as if too matriotically humbled
to stand for Yangish
and self-righteous thee,
then let me tell you
I am so very quite sure
your poppa raised White elitist you
to spell anti-matriotism
with a positive patriotism Peee
only while standing up
as royal Thee.

And let me vice versa tell you,
if you find loyalty
and honor,
civility and mercy
and compassion taking on a matriotic knee,

Then your Momma,
well let me tell you,
she spelled patriotism ecologically right
with left,
bicameralishly.

Which, if you spell justice
with domestic peace of clear blue mind
you suspect dipolar
co-arising
matriots
of bipolar disarray
too wild left,
and let me tell you,
no way we’ll move love with Mother Earth diminished
down to a way out somewhat sleazy loose-lived girl
only good for lunch.

It just might become our hunch
hanging out with a more permaculturing bunch.

 

Note: For me this piece works best as jazz riffs rooted in the melody for

When I Fall In Love…

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When I Fall In Love

As my wife once taught me
Women knew all about trimming
and cleaning
an harvesting the fertile forests of Earth
long before I ever thought to depilate my back
and other parts.

As my wife continues teaching me
I am not quite sure what she means
but it feels important
to more than just our reforesting relationship
and its odds of continuing
into future regenerative climaxes.

As my wife predicted,
I forget to carefully listen
until she culminates with climaxes.
And then she surely owns my belated attention.

The matriarch voice of my life
bewitches,
bothers,
and bewilders me
while we fall in love
we become ecopolitically out to lunch,
indefinitely,
reforesting and ecotherapizing
without fear or anger-marketing
about how to transcend vulnerable boundaries
to mutual empathic nakedness.

This matriarch voice and I
love (0)-sum WinWin reforesting
as health care co-operative wealth management
of mutually accessible climates
for spiraling regenerativity trends
externalized as Yang,
internalized reforesting,
reweaving waves of notnot Yin,
wu-wei,
RealTime 4D Ego/Eco-Balancing

Falling in love with Yin
all over again,
PermaCulturing Operas
sung and danced
while remembering
as my imaginary wife continues teaching me
Thought Experiments
through real fractal double-binary
informating
exgravitating
bilateral ecosystemic time.

I am not quite sure what she means
but it feels wu-wei important
to more than just our reforesting-deforesting relationship
and its odds of even continuing
into future
through past reweaving
regenerative climaxes.

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Majestic Magic

Magic evaporates with comprehension
yet mystery and majesty and myth
deepen and widen with understanding
how where we came from
is also why we return.

Pathology and suffering diffuse with ego’s eco-consciousness
and miracles erupt through standing under
where Earth’s now time comes forth
imagining our healthiest return.

Magic transubstantiates patriarchal articulations
yet mythic mysteries mesmerize
matriarchal comprehensions.

Regenerating sacred loves
decompose well-wombed lives.

New ecopolitical regenerations
reborn through transuterine eliminations.

Born into light
to bright
for sight
then night
invites Spring Lights
for Summer’s nutritional diastatic Bright
of Harvest Healthy Sight,
retiring Winter’s long cold Nights
of dream-wombed comprehension,
mourning for morning springs of light.

Magic absorbs patriarchal fascinations
yet sacred Earth’s misty myths eliminate
lack of ego’s eco-comprehensions,
absence of magically pricked pretensions.

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Facts and Feelings We UnLearn

What are some things you learned
along life’s way
better before you went to school
as compared to after?

Oh, you mean like love
of cooperative natural-spiritual learning
rather than
mistrusting ego’s essential competitive nature,
divorced from cooperative spirit,
required to out-perform my siblings
and friends
and neighborhood peer groups?

Yes, that is a viral one.
But, if you think that’s bad,
listen to this:
My mother always taught,
and both my grandmother and mother nearly always mentored,
there is no hurt
love can’t and won’t ultimately heal.
But,
in first grade
I heard from some of my more troubling classmates
that their moms taught them
there is no anger or fear weaker than love’s strength
to survive,
including ravages of domestically violent patriarchal rule.
It was like I had learned a life sentence
when and where
these unfortunates were given an avoid death sentence.

That intersects with my own confusion
about love of learning as full healthy living
and fear of failing
as negatively devolutionary learning competitive-behavioral theory
myths and Evil Devil Stories of vengeful angry-fear-mongering
monoculturing Gods of Omnipotent SpiritStrength
and not so much Goddesses of Polyphonic Nature-Nurture
emerging polypathic deductive challenges to save patriarchal face
and inductive invitations to share love’s healing grace.

My mother was my preschool teacher.
She taught me love is highest and best use
for living and for learning,
while grade school teachers
didn’t disagree,
they merely were paid
to help us notice
differences between (0)Sum WinLose competitions
and (0)Soul WinWin cooperative ownership
of love’s nurturing powers
to cooperatively heal all EarthTribe’s sacred hurts.

I wish either Mother Earth or Mother Mom
or even Mother Grandmom
had taught me why you nearly always find sexism where you find racism,
but not necessarily racism where you find sexism’s patriarchal remnants.

I think at least one of my grandmothers
taught me the cooperative economics of gender diversity
are more lovingly powerful, and healthy,
than the competing politics of monoculturing racist theory.

Really! African or Native American?

Maybe both?

Creolizing all three in sacred one.
I learned that in school,
eighth grade biology.

I don’t know.
I think I hear an older teaching
swelling into here and there,
both before and after school.

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