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I’m Fine

His life felt sick.
Filled with ick

And she was sighing,
inside dying.

Yet, when asked,
her response
entirely unresponsive,
“I’m fine.”
puts her compassionate listener
in a double-bind.

Do I ask her if she is intentionally lying
or irresponsibly
out of her self-isolating mind?

Neither one
feels more kind
and patient,
still, uncommunicating
and yet curious.

Could it be
she is embarrassed
about being merely mortal?

A caregiver
without sufficient tools
or even weapons
to assure EarthTribe’s
resonantly healthy non-confrontations
with degenerative trends
sometimes overwhelming
normal regenerative
narrative twists and bends,

A mother
who must only be
an omnipotent caregiver,
without sustained support
as one of us
co-arising care receivers?

What good is universal health care giving
without reciprocal
compassionate care receiving?

And, how could we,
why would we,
when should all Earth’s caregivers
deny our patriarchal climates
of pathology?

When our allies are sick
and filled with unanticipated ick.

 

 

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Uncategorized

Silent UnPrivileged Stories

When I was a Big Brother
for Jason,
an African-American 10 year old male,
we went into his apartment
so he could look around
for a long overdue library book.

As I accompanied him
from room to sparsely furnished room,
looking in nearly vacant closets,
cupboards,
drawers,
the only book we found
was a phone book,
looking silently neglected
much more than actively abused.

My first white male privileged
feelings about his Mom
had to do with blaming her
for probably not even feeling ashamed
for her irresponsible choices
while economically and politically administering
their bookless house
in this pre-WWW information age.

But, then I began asking questions.
What could Jason tell me
about his Mom’s life
when she was his age?

What were stories
familiar to her,
read
or retold
or experienced
and re-experienced,
therapeutic or traumatic?

Through this widening narrative moment
of multigenerational conjecture,
hypothesis,
questioning,
contemplating,

I also learned to question
what traumatic straight white male stories
are experienced by gay
and bisexual
and transsexual 10-year-olds,
regardless of racial identification,

And by 10-year-old girls,
perhaps regardless of racial identification,
or even further amplified
by being doubly,
and silently, outside
straight white patriarchal privilege.

I found myself
suddenly
tearfully
incapable of briefly imagining
much less deeply,
unflinchingly contemplating
the trauma
of growing up poor
and lesbian
and black or brown
or too red
or too yellow
without any books
or stories,
read
or retold
or experienced
about how her 10-year-old life will matter,
could be healthy, someday,
would ever be felt safe,
unless held shamefully silent,

Not appropriate material
for books
or retelling
or experiencing straight
white
male dominant stories,
economic
and political narratives
about retributive trauma
and not multicultural
restorative
democratically inclusive therapy.

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Uncategorized

Congressional Grace

I’m still reading Your Resonant Self,
by Dr. Sarah Peyton,
speaking of how contempt
destroys relationships
formerly cooperative
and, thereby, healthy.

Disgust about oneself
and contempt against Other
are interrelated,
like ego and eco,
like Yang and Yin,

“Humans seem to be capable of disconnecting from others
[and our disgusting selves]
on a large scale
or small scale.” (p. 209)

I’m reminded of listening to the Trump Impeachment Debate,
hearing contempt for democratic dialogue,
for loyalty to trust,
transparency,
vulnerability to unmediated light,
healthy curiosity,
courage to choose compassion,
for self and other,
for ego and eco,
rather than contempt.

Not that congressional debates
are suddenly plagued by partisan win/lose rhetorical strategies.

As a communication
and a psychology major,
I learned ancient techniques for persuasion,
for attitude change.
But, an underlying safe
non-partisan environment
of mutual trust,
of loyalty to a healthy Earth,
precludes giving way to the contagious temptations of contempt
against any OtherParty,
disgust about endemic economic and political corruption
of my own run-away win/lose internalized Party.

But, I have two points
seen more clearly through Dr. Peyton’s “Resonance”:

One,
we are capable of national disconnecting shared-identity contempt
against threatening Other
because we were born win/win capable,
from warm attachment healthy birth
of cooperative compassionate development
toward healthy adult/adult resilient relationships,
rooted in our shared destiny
as bicameral EarthDwellers,
EarthTribe,
Mother EarthWomb Integralists.

Second,
contempt grows nationalistic partisanship
because localized compassion can also go viral,
global,
universal
contagious wealth of health-empowerment values
making resonant living systems possible,
re-creative potentiating

As darkness
can be noticed as dark
only by those capable
of remembering light,
power womb enlightenment,
empowerment,
passion,
compassion,
advent,
Christmas Birth,
Lent,
Easter EgoDeath,
Republic elitism,
Democrat non-elitism,
rhetorical contempt,
non-violent narrative,
red rightwing rage,
green leftwing synergy

Wishing all ego-parties
and ecosystems
healthy wealth of EarthPassionate ChristMass
political body-minds
economically double-bound nature-spirits
secular-sacred cooperative co-investors
both out and in
within Earth CoPassion.

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Uncategorized

Stories Are Not Songs

But songs are a musical story.

I know a difference
between telling a story
and voicing these same lyrics
of anxiety and ease,
of bearing and healing injustices,
medicine for well-earned peace.

I feel a difference
between progressive story telling,
between historically accurate autobiography,
and singing cultural passion narratives,
felt experiences,
perennial sensory moments
of nutrition and starvation,
light and dark,
health and pathology,
resilience and fragility,
privilege and responsibility,
resonance and ongoing anxiety,
harmony and yet mystery,
acceptance and hidden avoidance,
integrity, yet irritating dissonant echoes
either empowering verbs
or neither un-nouned knowns
win/lose explicating with shy win/win implications

Why grateful Yes!
suggests, more hesitantly Not Not Yet?

Being, yet still becoming
Left with indigenously
endemically
regeneratively curious Right
earned ease.

I know a difference
does not mean I can make sense of it.

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Uncategorized

GrandMother Moses

I was minding our own ancient business,
making maple and brown sugar oatmeal
for my constantly
and instantly
devouring daughter,
when GrandMother Moses
of Poetic Narrative
broke into my day:

frankly, I didn’t even know She could speak

Racism and Patriarchalism
are the inside Angry
and outside Terrified voices
perpetuating retributive injustice
and capital-value monopolistic
monocultural
monotheistic
win/lose competitive models
of Left v Right,
West v East,
North v South
Ego v EcoHabitat

VerbalMind v NonVerbalEmbodied
multiculturing intelligence
with ego/eco-cooperative therapeutic intent.

Then the kettle
began to whistle
a just-in-time
win/win
ecopolitical reminder
we can choose to compare
and contrast
across a spectrum
of win/lose
through lose/lose
toward appositional co-arising win/win
with sufficient
just-right/left
out/in hot water
and maple with brown sugar oatmeal
to feed our constantly
instantly hungry
potential EarthMothers.

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Sacred Stories

Telling
and retelling
our story,

Where we are from
and where we have gone
from there and here
and now
surprisingly uninfluenced by choice
and education,
nature nurturing where
and when,
why
and how, our story begins

When my voice speaks with SkyMother
and FatherSun, by mutual choice
personalities
only visible in prehistoric time,
then prophecies predict our eventual return,
by mutual choice,
to EarthBound enlightening Paradise.

When my story
begins with CreatorGod
in regenesis producing Heaven,
then Rapture is promise
to leave Earth
and return to SunGod
from which Earth originally came.

Whether God’s Kingdom
is at immediate immanent RightSacred hand,
Earth’s HolySpirit self-regenerating Love history,

Or more enlightened from transcendent Heavens above,
looking down with positive/negative/double-negative balancing
pre-judgment
on too cheaply commodified pervasive secularization
justifying missionary-zeal colonization
of hopeless/faith-filled,
helpless/assertive,
sin-filled/sun-drenched pagans,
nature/nurture worshipers,
EarthLovers,
depends on where and when we choose
to believe our own history significantly begins,
ends,
re-begins…

Whether in pre-historic myth
or pre-time interdependent democratic energy

Potential atomic health forces
and wave-linear nutritional flowstreams,
dreams my birthmother’s womb
prophesied predicting return
to EarthLove nurturing back
natured back
spirited back
to when today’s left-brain Business As Usual
Win/Lose
Either/Or thinking
co-arises rightbrain’s Win/Win
Both/And feeling
that where health is robustly appealing
therein lies a wealthy tipping point of origin

And
where wealth is leftbrain severed
from rightbrain healthy feeling,
nutritional,
communal,
compassionate integrity
of original ParadiseWomb experience
immanent ego developing
EarthMother transcendent
promises prophetic polypaths of health,

Therein lies ego/eco-therapy’s
vast immanent/transcendent potential
co-arising integrally originating wealth.

Interdependent awareness,
like environmental health,
values integrity
above fragmenting wealth,
cooperation
above competition,
most politically
economical,

Theologically
ecological.

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Uncategorized

Story Lessons

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

The apparent insanity of inmates
and prisoners
and addicts, conspiracy theorists and paranoids,
does not prove,
nor necessarily even suggest,
the keepers are not also self-entitled nuts
with unhealthy powers,
authorities,
delegated detached responsibilities
loyal to ratchet race competitions.
Passion Story

When you are crucified, naked, poor
and occupied by Roman yangish powerful voices
and Win/Lose commodity values,
unhealthy fought and sold colonizing authorities,
irresponsible power occupiers,
violators of healthy green peace objectives
applicable to any sanctuary and asylum
with humane organic embodied rituals and behaviors
yet still Win/Lose divine punishing evolution machine minded,
we have been historic asylum invited
to purge messianic homeless egos
on HolonicSpirit’s centering Earth-cross,
rather than remain comparatively imprisoned by traumas
to the disassociating left or right.

Health History Story

A. Earth was born, still, flat, without form and ZeroCentric void.
B. S/he remains newborn and young,
springing organic life
WinWin preferential solidarity with all EarthTribe.
C. S/he still grows mature healthy Heavenly summer sun
over nurturing MotherEarth,
sacred/secular conjoined.
D. S/he co-emerges Northern revolutionary Yang/Yin bicameral,
bilateral healthstream co-arising poly-paths,
-phonics,
-cultures,
-nomial maps,
-meme messages,
-frames of secular/sacred nutrition.

One Flew Into the Communion NestEgg

See “Health History Story” above
The apparent stillborn insanity of original patriarchal residents
need not predict
Yang/Yin co-redeeming caregivers
are not also ego- v eco-logical sanctuary sociopaths
sabotaging our own potential opportunities
for polypathic communion asylums.

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Advent Funerals with Birthdays

The coincidence of Advent
and the HW Bush eulogies
reminded me of DJ Trump’s challenge
to laugh about himself
at least as quickly as he laughs against others.

As compared to any recent US President,
he comes in dead last
for his appropriate humility,
willingness to sacredly listen, empathize with generosity,
and least place for his ability to nurture resilient international peace,
and I am not sure these two challenges
are merely side-by-side coincidental.

Other challenges seem to come with the Yangish motivation required to even become a credible candidate.

Presidential candidates
at least since the Civil War,
if not the Revolutionary War,
are not generally known for saintly sacred listening
to and for healthy multicultural developments,
domestic or foreign,
domestic and yet foreign
to those unschooled in WinWin health-power whisperings,

Noticing positive deviance
advocated and praised and blessed first well-humored,
before negative pedestrian bullying rat races continue
with all paranoid Win/Lose stripes
madly pursued by monoculturing manic political stars.

This Advent day of HW Bush eulogies
was also my oppositionally defiant daughter’s seventeenth birthday.
When I asked her for an allegorical meaning
for the Sleeping Beauty fable
she dismissed the story
as another patriarchal humorless female Messianic staple
for achieving EarthJustice happily ever after
by mere kiss of Prince Charming
after she had done all the heavy emotional lifting
required to rebuild sacred communion
with resilient good humor.

But, she is more interested in discussing Robin Hood
and Little Red Riding Hood,
all the potential messianic Hood leaders
who know predative patriarchal wolves when they see
and hear
and smell them,
even in hooded disguise,
transparently lying on their own grandmother’s bed
and Bibles
and thrones,
about being more committed to democratic good-humored healthy constitutions
advocates for sharing communion with all
before defending their own ego-centric hindquarters.

My fetal alcoholic seventeen year old daughter
knows wolves when she hears them
in government threatening humorless voices
or more entertainingly violent industrial corruption predators.

Feminist Hoods can themselves taste wolf hunger
for royal hunting and riding
and devouring innocent WinWin democratic youth,
separating them from their naive healthy multiculturing forests,
composed by
and for
and of naturally diverse and good-humored habitats.

She can smell satiated predators
growing hungry for vulnerable healthy integrity
stealing back fleeting power from Win/Lose playing wolves
by investing economic and political trust
in those still living natural-humored life
as a normal spiritually connecting re-investment.

Hooded egos still know this spiritually enchanted forest life
as a naturally reconnecting hope
for healthy happier,
more co-redemptive,
EarthJustice futures.

And so the eulogies
and my daughter’s exegetical birthday party progressed
through Cinderella’s king and queendom
at healthier humored EarthJustice hand
after marrying her Prince of Adventuring Revolutionary Peace.

On through the Three Little Pigs
enjoying shared wolf-soup communion
with all EarthTribe’s piglets and cubs,
dolls and stuffed bears
communioned while sitting down grace-fully together.

She hears this same polypathic humored journey
in every diversely sacred narrative
she leads and listens,
smells and tastes and feels
hope for Earth’s wealth
of future everyday health
for democratic constitutions,
disability stories,
eulogies inviting salvific humor.

This coincidence of birthday and funeral
reminds me of our sacred challenges
to laugh communally among ourselves
more than jeering a viral twittering weapon
against the vulnerabilities of others.

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NonConspiring Muses

Imagine DNA as architectural color design,
regenerative blueprint,
but written in fugue fractal songs,
no two exactly identical
except for twins.

Each species shows some shared architectural greyscale function
like staffs holding up a linear musical score
for counting eighth and sixteenth notes
in 4-dimensional realtime.

Each hue and cry species
shares it’s own seasoned key
and basic rhythmic nurturing structure
and range of song-scaled nutritional sound.

Animals sing in absorbing hues and cries of red and blue
and hibernate through ultra-violet greyscale early memories
both secular and more deeply sacred
convexly wondrous and concavely awesome
but also at risk of future terror,
WinLose cost cast as predative until mortal prey,
bully until un-organic victimized remains
dreaming in nightmare red inside
without blueprint memories of outside.

Meanwhile, smaller plants and microbes,
flora and brawny dream in green tree shade
and yellow sunlight
pushing out new deep learning roots,
sensitive to which humane divine songs
would favor and flavor us both sacred and secular beauty,
both spirit and nature true animal dynamism,

Nondual ZeroZone dynamics
of blue ahead
and red behind
green in-between
ultra-violet wisdom
of sacred secular animals,
EarthTribe cooperative lovers
reforesting economic and political health justice
both natural and spiritual,
ecological and theological
and sufficiently day/night BigNonBang
everyday DNA romantic revolutions
within dualdark polypathically logical
color-blind dream memories
in ultra-violet sound and green sight
taste and feel
unitarian smell and universally hear
windy redesigns and wintry ocean tides,
red skies dawning blueprints
for well-sung childhood songs.

Imaging DNA
designing color red
generating blueprint
for free fugue fractal songs,
no two green identical
except for dipolar newborn muses.

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Notes from a Unitarian Child

Once upon a time,
an eight year old
Black and Green and Brown and Red and Blue Lives Matter
ultra-nonviolent kid
wrote an ultra-violet note to him/herself
about stuff s/he needed to full-rainbow recall
if and when s/he ever became
a worn out
stressed out
depressed
workaholic
self-defeated parent:

I wish my dad
and my mom,
like Mother Earth
and GrandMother Moon,
had spent more story time
talking about gravity
and enlightenment tales
and depression fables
and repression epics
and suppression mysteries
of basic fairy flying
like what goes fluttering up
must come mortally down
what goes forward in time
must have come from backward in mythic imagination.

I wish my spiritual mom and natural dad
had thought out loud
more about pictures reducing four-directional wilderness imaginations
as the reverse
of time-organic memories
seducing and securing Earth’s original health intentions.

I hope my future teacher vocation
invests more class time
explaining LeftBrain’s obsession
with starting at the elite top of any logic tree,
then going down the systemic stem and opening/closing branches
to define and redefine Top’s administrative purposes
and subTop uber-branches
over their essentially cooperative,
more than competing, parts,
and resiliently reiterative parts parts,

While spending more future outdoor class time
exercising intuition emerging reverse-time images with organic feelings
starting in ancient WiseElder DNA democratic universal atomic memory
to travel back up a reverse historical health/wealth hierarchy
into this ego-embodied integrity day

More outside classrooms
for nurturing cooperatively-held co-relationships
to be sure all our interdependent parts and climate feelings
throughout our neural network biosystems
are regeneratively communicating
more then degenerating more pathological dissonance,
and unconscious disenchantment with competing ego-healers,
and depression,
and repression,
and suppression of intuitive RightBrain ecological/theological prime relational,
natural/spiritual
patriarchal/matriarchal co-intelligence.

I hope my fellow story-tellers
will remember to talk and listen to kids,
to sing and dance as kids,
to design and develop with hurt kids,
to lead and follow with suffering at-risk kids
will teach and study
breathing in Yang’s patriarchal deductions
to breathe out Yin’s uniting intuitive primal relationships
between what LeftBrain sees too often
as Either/Or oppositional Truths
as RightBrain feels not enough Both/And appositional Trust
that dawn will continue to follow spectral dusk
has followed dusty dawn of sacred ZeroZone enlightenment

As light follows darkness within egos
and darkness without ecologically conscious
theological experience
of uniting love
as grace
and healthy karma

As uracil’s wisdom loyally follows cytosine’s flow
co-arises Yang’s universal monotheistic
RightWing patriarchy has forgotten
LeftWing matriarchal cooperatively-owned prehistory
of unitarian polycultural cytosine evolutions,
birthing appositional twins
Adenine and Guanine,
Zeus and Diana,
Yang and Yin,
testosterone and estrogen…

I long to remember
co-arising polypathic opportunities
for green peace
restoring Yang/Yin egocenters
rebuilding and feeding and watering
matriarchal ecopolitical justice
growing Earth’s healthiest wealth of DNA
sacred story-shaping ecology strings of co-regenerate Tao.

As a WiseElder,
the formerly eight year old Unitarian added,
at long last,

I hope I can retain hope for everyone,
for all future generations,
all species of loving life,
all incorporated constitutions of and for democratic happiness and welfare,
all healthy ecopolitical love climates
and theological grace frames
and ecological karma stories
for cooperatively owning extended family international integrity
within every polynomial x/y-squared egosystem,
every EarthTribe u/c-squared epic string of co-regenerating Time,
every HereNow Yang/Yin-squared polypathic moment
ever after

ZeroZone Universal ReGenesis
begat an eight year old unitarian child
Black and Brown and Green and Red and Blue
polypathic multiculturing lives
for healthier hoping ultra-nonviolent futures.

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