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Living With BiPolar DisOrder

Living With Deplorable Adorables

I know if I say
That reeks, deplorable,
She will only be persuaded
all the more,
That is adorable.

Then I might say
I meant intolerable,
And she will insist
I remain adorable,
with a dismissive smile
toward my alien intolerance
as bigotry.

Then I will remind her
I still deplore,
And she’ll,
I still adore.

And so we go.
Left to our readers,
mentors and leaders,
witnesses,
sainted Elder listening trees
once residents of a virgin forested river bank,
to decide
whether this is a tragically and naturally petty river
of reiterating toxins
or benign family shorthand
for future stand-up spiritual comedy skits.

Skits in which bipolar opposition
to a dualistic patriarchal dominant world
feels also dipolar appositional
longing for bilateral
family-tribal health and safety
ReStoring Win-Win
ReForesting Justice
and nondual Matriotic Peace.

Whether this is more of natural evolution
toward infinite dissonance
through ecopolitical Business As Usual competitions
or a spiritual revolution
of polypathic synergetic cooperation,
for healthier times to co-discern.

C-squared enlightening speed
as also E-fractal-spiral slower-grown wave-linear evolutions
as equivalently polyculturing
Continuous Quality Improvement
predicted by Bayesian (0)DiPolar ClimateTrend Analysis.

(0)Core Prime Relationship
(binomial-bicameral-bilateral double-bound dipolar,
like Yang with Yin)

Like Yang EgoRightWing
with Yin EcoLeftWing
BiCameral Peace Restoring Justice
and not so much Yang ego is way too LeftBrain dominant
double-binding dissonance
against Yin ecologics too RightBrain Oppressed
AntiEconomics As Usual competing intuitions

Equivalent as notmore-notless
traumatic/therapeutic screens
positive for wu-wei tragic/comedic
Therapeutic ReStoring Health

As Cytosine co-arises Uracil,
as OxygenWinds co-arise Hydrogen waves,
as Father’s Invested Sun co-arises Sacred MotherEarth,
as Eternal YangStars
co-arise Gaian Milky-Waving Unities, interdependence,
as Space co-arises bilateral (0)Sum ecopolitically evolving Time

CoBalancing Prime ThermoDynamics
of 4Dimensional RealTime DNA-RNA Solidarity

Strings of fractals
holonic
HolySpirit-Natures,
seasonal fertile polyphonic spiral dancing story-tellers,
regenerative histories
whispering dualdark unreverting becoming understories
before and after
HereYou with NowMe
Win-Win (0)Sum PrimeReGenerative
4D history stages
of health-optimizing polypathic dimensions.

Medicine for ego- and anthro-centric over-investment
in more LeftBrain dominant
RightWing supremacist oppressions,

Like religious fundamentalism
and secular bigotism
against matriotic restorative EarthTribe Sacred PeaceCouncils
evolved from FirstNations
on toward post-millennial restoring EcoJustice Allies,
with therapeutic multiculturing global ecological economics
of virgin forests,
restoring themselves toward healthier
cooperative
enculturations.

I know if I YangLeft say
That reeks, monoculturally horrible,
She will only be YinRight persuaded
all the more,
That polyculturing tension must be adorable.

 

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Past Portentous Futures

My past,
part of this present,
yet not desperately all
or I live too mortally
in our past;
still breathing
heart beating
but no other present signs
of hopeful life.

Just so,
this present
part of our future,
yet not all,
Or we have already died
without our Great Promise;
reluctantly
still shallow breathing
heart dissonantly beating
yet without future active hope
for love;
or end of fear for hate.

I did not intend retiring
into this exclusive vicinity
of domestic quasi-therapeutic family
as my end of future,
but this new beginning
when my past
and our extending present
meet in wealthy gratitude.

I learn positive attitude,
avoiding negative acerbic platitudes,
about others less present
to past pathologies
predicating,
but not reliably predicting,
potential full integrity
of Love’s healthy co-arising futures.

As I age
my true confessions
and growing quieter celebrations
invite and seek to find
this larger future stage
of immortal themes
for incubating cooperative cakes
not left or right out in Eden’s rain
but danced and eagerly devoured inside
outside rappers and rhythmers,
rockers and rollers,
writers and dancers,
performers and story-tellers,
comedians and tragic permacultural operators
lyricists and logists,
whole-group systemitizers and sacred ecologists,
atheists and theists,
competing economists and cooperative empowerers,
concelebrating Win-Win game siblings
enraptured by our own
and others
multiculturing
polypathic
operatic and epic creation
and re-creation,
redemption
and restoration
and reforesting
and polycultural outcome
stories.

Stories
about vulnerable climate pasts
part of this extending present,
but not at all without future hope
within already retiring
co-present re-memories.

Our deepest future stories
share our widest past
articulating each present moment’s vast potential
of vulnerability to doubt
for integrity of Love’s
great transitioning stage,
cooperatives loaned and borrowing
past patriarchally pretentious
macaronic
anthromale-eccentric
ParadisePromise.

Patriarchal Fundamentals of Spiritual HotCake Baking
left out too long
and fat
in the rain;
not so rich,
not so good.

My LeftDominant past,
part of this present,
yet not desperately all
YangLeft without YinRight
or I live mortally,
and tragically,
in our patriarchal past;
still breathing
heart beating
but no other present signs
of hopeful Matriotic-Patriotic
EquiValent
Life.

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Let Us Speak Clearly Together

Let me speak clearly with you
dear religious and atheist Trumpians,

A fool in executive office
is a leader
only in foolish directions.

A rich thief
is the worst thief
as survival motives
are absent,
so self-thrival motives
remain piratically rampant.

An intellectual prostitute
to feel-good politics
is an ecopolitical whore,
competing for economic gain
after self-deluding blinders to ego’s mortality
are in place,
no healthier options for right livelihood
are currently in RealTime fake-space.

Perpetual reinvestment
in racing automated death machines
is not investment in peace.

Health is not purchased
by selling out your habitat’s
most nutritionally valuable assets.

Economic policy
at the bought-and-paid-for bidding
of bottom-line moneytaker corporations
is WinOrLose Evolutionary Political Science
reduced to its most cynical
monoculturing market value;
A political prostitution of mindbodies,
as are smoke-filling climate pathology backrooms
that call LoseInvestment To LoseInfestment
anti-ecological economic degenerative denialism
as if patriotic “manifest sacred EmpireBuilding destiny.”

Cowardice and mendacity
reduce healthcare giving and receiving optimization values
in bad religious or atheistic faith
believing this denialist-nihilist direction
is HellFire retributive EarthJustice inevitable.

While refusing to notice
this inevitability
assumes cowards
invest in supremacist assumptions
about small ego-centric
anthro-centric
manifest destiny,

Whether manifest by sacred scripture
or patriarchal WesternWhite Supremacists,
fools and prostitutes
thwarting internal capacities
to read with RightBrain Hearts,
threatened most by your own violent absence
of integrity.

Mendacity against Earth’s multiculturing Peace,
against restoring economically cooperative justice,
and calling out against sacred co-redemption
for all species
still trying to breathe our best
therapies without trauma.

I believe issues of monoculturing ego-identity
mostly suffer from not being polyculturally envisioned enough.

Healthy PeaceCircle PermaCultural Design
co-mentors thought
and notice
and co-witnessing without
LeftBrain dominant preoccupations
and addiction
to violent machines of death
fueled by releasing toxins
into Sacred MotherEarth’s breath,
and metaphysically sacred womb.

I believe colonization
retributively pre-judges
and condemns,
represses
suppresses
depresses
overly impresses colonizer missionary zeal
against FirstNation and aboriginal forms and functions
of restorative justice principles shared
sacred reconciliatory nature-spirituality,
as if reconciliation cooperative economics
and Win-Win politics
were not also formed and functioned
as sacred grace
of God’s PolyCulturing EarthLove.

PermaCulturing ReStorational Design
provides a conceptual Win-Win framework
to ecologically affirm,
creolize,
Left-Right Brain synergize,
bilaterally co-legitimate
what remains good
and democratically healthy
still optimizes sacred ecological wealth
at today’s leading edge
of postmillennial restoring
permaculture design peace circles,
extended cooperative family
group Win-Win co-redemption conferences,
adaptations
evolutions
revolutions
predicting great transitional climate ecojustice
familiar sacred vocations to and with all species
as our DNA-RNA Solidarity
Traditional EcoPolitical
PlanetExtinction Survival Way,

CoOperatively owned
and co-invested
and co-redemptive
Win-Win Whole MultiCulturing Group co-managed.

I believe transitional ecojustice
both follows pathology and precedes growing health,
large scale nutritional Left-Right ego-eco dominant conflicts
andLeftBrain dominant anthro-centric overshoot
of balancing Western dualistic SacredWords of Grace
with Eastern nondualist
bilateral and polypathic
Gaian-Principled Karma.

Our global vocation
is to end our addiction to
“dire machines
that run by burning
the world’s body
and its breath.”
(Wendell Berry)

But, more happily,
we are also EarthTribes
of and for Restorative PermaCultural EcoJustice
Design and Therapy
growing polycultural economics of slow health growth
rooted in Traditional cooperative Win-Win thrift,
taking care of health and peace for all Earth’s creatures,
not so much the anti-integrity
reductive Win-Lose theft
from our own Future’s
most likely vulnerable losers,
children with cooperative gifts
for matriotic peace wombs-to-rebirthing circles
and not so much mere mendaciously patriarchally-owned
ballistic death machinations
toward Lose-Lose enslavement
to further retributively dominant injustice
and criminalizing war-mongering,

Steering clear of anti-ecological waste
and ruin
and anti-intellectual copouts;
Especially those choosing between LeftBrain reason
and RightBrain sacred inductive mystery,

between restorative ecopolitics
and sacred ecology,

As if the God of LeftBrain Space
is not also the GaiaGoddess of BiLateral RightBrain Timeless-Time,
together having created
double-binding distinctions
with only a nondual-dark Zero-Soul absence of difference
between where we have come from permaculturally
and where we originally intended to go
polyculturally polypathic
polynomially balanced

+ = (-,-) DoubleFractal/Octave Harmonic

(0)Sum InfiniteEgo-EcoLogical Tao of Balance

YangRestorative Grace as WinWin CoRedemptive Karma.

Le us speak clearly with you,
dear colonizing missionaries,
behaving atheistically,
US ProTrumpians,
our radical religious RightWing MonoCulturing YangBrights
have never survived climates of revolutionary crisis
yet continue LeftBrain dominant Wrong

DualDark Chaotic (0)Sum

Absence of ReStorative Health-Wealth
Left-Right CoErective Consciousness.

 

This piece is rhetorically inspired by Wendell Berry’s “Another Turn of the Crank”. The geometrics are more Bucky Fullerian.

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Voting Booth Conversation

My African-American
young adolescent daughter,
since she was age five
needing a therapeutic home and family,
with Oppositional Disorder
and deviantly diverse neural-cognitive communication patterns,
would have voted for Donald Trump if she could.

In large part,
I suspect and fear,
because she is obsessively attracted
to what and whom she knows is bad for her.

Bad medicine.
Toxic sights and sounds and feelings.
Poisons for all sensory receptors,
Mutually oppositional reiterative disorder
perpetually trading barbs of blame and shame,
games she so loves to hate to play,
with tendencies toward bipolar disarray.

Why does she seem to prefer older
straight
blond boys?
Probably because she identifies herself as a younger
brown-skinned
curly-headed
(in several ways and means)
princess-diva-girl.

Anyway,
she helped me vote for our town’s Mayor,
and School Board,
and Propositions about borrowing money
to pay it back later
out of her real-estate and business tax investments.

What she thought would be more interesting investments
for her future,
rather than bridges,
and firetrucks,
and improved highways,
she thought more gardens would be nicer,
and more nutritional in the long run.

As for Mayor,
she told me to vote for “Donald.”

Well, honey,
bad news.
None of these candidates is a Donald.

I didn’t say Donald
I said vote for Dora.
(Did I mention her speech therapy,
and lack thereof?)

(Did I mention I’m deaf as a post
and old enough to be her Great Gay Grandfather?)
Honey,
I don’t think writing in “Dora”
would be a good idea
because she’s not one of the choices here.

Well,
just don’t vote for Donald Trump again.

Never mind about the “again,”
as if I ever had,
or would,
But,
what came between you and your love for Donald?

He is against my mental health
and my mental health right
to live in a good community
without fear of automatic
or even not-automatic
gunfire.

You’ve been reading my blog again
haven’t you?

No!
Why would I read anyone
not smart enough to write in Dora for Mayor?

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Healing Sciences and Sacred Arts

The Golden Rule,
like Permaculture Design,
teaches we all deserve
the restorative grace we need,
whether victim or predator of innocence
as we can each empathize
with those harmed
and with egocentric predators;
both written across our own
therapeutic live
and pathology of evil
potentiating hearts.

Cosmology
dwells within sacred ecological wisdom.
Experience of our internal-external relationships Universe
where forms of together Here
grace functions of therapeutic Now,
filling each loving and lovely heart and mind
and body with ethical sensory capacities
to restoratively engage both our secular Left deductive
and SacredRight inductive mind
and hearts with cooperative bicameral consciousness
of dissonance within this Universe of conscious confluence.

Religious history
invites us to release
fake-evangelical fundamentals
choosing monoculturing rather than polyculturing goals
among available anthro-centric dualistic choices
not benignly written evenly across our own Left-Right sacred health
optimization of internal-external ecopolitics
through cooperative co-redemptive development
of God’s egalitarian Grace,
of restorative internal justice as also ecosystemic peace
for and within all SacredEarth.

Universal Beauty and Truth and Trust
live within spectral senses.
Ugly and Deceit and Hate
turn nonsenses toward anti-senses
of each sacred ecological beholder.

What science separates to investigate,
solidarity of art with integrating artist,
Creation with Creator and ReCreators,
restores balancing nondual integrity together,
co-arising deeper and wider emergence

Beauty balancing Earth’s sacred interdependent morality
with LeftBrain Truths and Trusts
of health as Win-Win designed
and planned
and cooperatively implemented creolization
of feeling and thought and language,
and pathology of suboptimizing Win-lose,
and anti-health as predative colonizing Lose-Lose,
scientifically accessible
for further exploration
of creolizing polypathic artistic solidarity
with interdependent ethics gracing personal-political aesthetics
of humane-divine Universals,
Zero-Sum
Win-Win
co-arising
primal relationship
of scientific integrity
with further aesthetic Beauty potential

Double-binding charm,
elegance of solidarity
as unitive balance
without settling for static uniformity
of thought
and feeling
and culture
and language.

Our Polycultural Golden Rule,
like Permaculture Design
and Restorative Arts and Sciences
teach us we all deserve
the co-arising Grace we need.

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Timely Universes

The Universe is the only self-referential reality
in the phenomenal world.
It is the only text
without context.
Thomas Berry

And yet
could no the same
be said of time
as text
without spatial context?

And could this universality of time as text
also become our co-gravitating unity
through co-arising diversity
of spaciating polypathic context?

Octavia Butler
defined God
as Change.

Time changes
or is eternally timeless;
a dead vacuous universal text
swelling and contracting
changes within timeless time
through eternally imaginable context.

If this Universe is God’s text
without further context,
then this co-emerging race through time’s distinctions
prefacing Earth’s voiceless extinctions
proves time’s full infinite eternity
contextualizes nothing more or less complete
than timeless here
as now,

Remembering time’s near completion
without date
or finite ego-measurement;
lacking too-reductive calculations,
deductive text within-
without inductive sacred context
for God’s Left and Right
YangForm through YinFunction

Universe as Sacred Change
Way
Truth
Trust
Life
Love
Grace
EcoPolitical NonDual DiPolar Karma
Restorative Yang EcoJustice with YinYin-WinWin Peace.

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Interpreting Dreams and Political Nightmares

I have always had a fondness for the narrative of dreams.

Why this may be so
I could not speak.

I do recall a former life as a psych major
reading Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams.

Recognizing his iconic topography
yet wondering about his training
in phylogeny,
predicting one’s pre-adolescent healthy ego
and ecological restorations
of our species’ cooperatively maturing habitat
throughout our multicultural
matriarchal-dominant rebirthing story.

I hope to feel
this timeless sacred narrative
of Earth’s reweaving Sabbath,
regenerating Eden’s therapeutic dreams
of polyculturing Paradise.

And,
not quite so many patriarchal pathological nightmares
emerging shared paranoid and claustrophobic punishing vocations
so vulnerably naked without potential integrity,
somehow not yet patriarchally here
with matriarchal now,
co-arising.

I LeftBrain dominate with far too retributive
non-redistributive neglect of justice days
manifesting competitive WinLose assumptions,
haunted by LoseLose nightmares
of a merely secular mortality.
I RightBrain dream
in restoratively manifest destinies toward WinWin
ecopolities of cooperative therapeutic praxis.

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Waking Up Despair

Waking up to despair,
sadness,
bone-tired at war with a beeping alarm clock,
an alarming list of immediately urgent responsibilities
without an opportunity in sight,
or at least not this first despairing fright,
at end of night.

If this sounds familiar
as at least your normal Monday through Friday,
you probably need a better way toward bed
the night before.

Most likely, earlier.

But also,
even for many with mindfulness practices,
disciplines
with their own short and long-term rewards
for both natural and spiritual health,
remembering gratitude
is our interior face
of grace’s exterior face,
or karma’s exterior influences,
or love’s potential winners winning
full circle in theory,
yet too anemic during this dreaded alarm clock time.

If yours is solely a morning contemplative practice,
after you wave the kids off to school,
after the gym or the run,
after the personal hygiene,
it is already too late
to optimize your opportunity
to wake up with least claustrophobic despair
and most expansive hope
building toward faith
that this day just might be even better
than yesterday,
as utterly remarkable as yesterday appeared
as you were mindfully drifting off to sleep
perhaps even before greeting GrandMother Moon’s
new through full repeat performances.

She’ll be here all week,
visible and sometimes invisible,
guarding your restorative rights and responsibilities
toward regenerating tomorrow’s realistic gratitude
for renewed opportunities
to brush your teeth,
and greet each child and significant other,
to notice if these wake with a smile
toward this day,
or with a scowl
for lack of sleep
or a good dream interrupted,
and recognizing how this is two ways
of saying one important not yet thing
which can build toward despair,
and further lack of more therapeutic dreams.

It is an important personal and also political choice
to prepare for sleep
repairing for tomorrow’s grace
or in dread against our memories of grace’s lack,
apparent absence,
persistently stuck issues
too overwhelming to think or feel our way out of,
through,
beyond.

These are important items for evening contemplation too.
But, when I am making my lists,
I start with minuses,
drift off counting my appositional pluses.
They are both there
within us
if we can choose restorative faith
after our lights turn out.

In this sense
we can choose our karma,
our awareness of positive and negative grace.
Love’s tones of restorative therapy
and retributive punishment,
if not yet quite overwhelming gratitude,
also not awakening to further despair
from chronic days of self with other abuse and neglect.

I continue having a dream
that the night everyone in military-industrialized cultures
drifts off feeling graced with opportunities
to become and do every cooperative thing we can
to guarantee Earth’s future of healthy exterior climates,
that is the night before our first morning
arising together
without overwhelming internal competing despairs.

Faith that this restorative therapeutic day
could unfold no less grand
than this dream we shared
our polypathic
demilitarizing
dis-industrializing
less exhausting night before.

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Imperfect Trinities

I have two adult children
with ADHD
and some disconcerting levels
of unemployable diversity.

They go through each day
with three parts harmony:
I want this,
I want that,
I want this Other Thing.

In this they remind me
of me more than not:
I want food,
I want drink,
I want
either sex,
or a toilet
or a nap,
but not really all three.

That would be way too messy
to prefer
as a rule
for a perfect trinity.

And so we march on
through our not so diverse rounds
of hyperactivity
I want this
then want that
then these Other
feeding and bleeding
restorative Things.

 

 

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Threatened Organic Economies

“No federal agency should ever…declare war on any sector of our economy”

says EPA chief Scott Pruitt.

I wonder how uncomfortable Secretaries and Parents of Health and Human Services could be

with any Protection Agency

declaring war on all sectors of our human health ecology.

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