Author Archives: gdill52

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Restoring Inside Justice

Healing Win/Lose EgoNomial Intent

We belong together
Through all kinds of colonizing corporate weather,
We belong creolizing together.

So sings my mitochondrial DNA
when I listen deeply
to all prior matriarchal regenerations
speaking in still
soft
timeless win/win voices

Especially about polycultural outcome opportunities
and monocultural injustice
incoming risks.

I am obsessed with anxiety about climate change.
I own this disability to feel safe
sufficiently secure
to feel confident my granddaughter
will live on a healthier Earth,
will live in a wealthier bicameral empowering situation,
will live for a more cooperative win healthy ecology
to win a truly wealthy
resilient domestic economy.

I’m meeting with some folks from an Episcopal Church
inspired by St. James,
sons of the Lesser Alphaeus
and Greater Zebedee
and James the Just
we could matriarchally say,
and an All Souls UniveralYang
UnitarianYin
BiCamerally Liberal ReAssociation.

All folks who share some concern with Adam Robersmith,
about how we might engage each other
to “Cherish Our World:
Avoiding Despair
in Environmental Justice Work.”
(in “Justice On Earth,” Skinner House Books, p. 47)

My RightBrain ear was listening
with those voices from past generations
speaking in present mitochondrial matriarch-restoring voices
to reassure us of timeless compassion
for EarthTribe’s wealthiest ecofeminist future.

Robersmith: “Watching the public debates about climate change is an exercise in resistance.”

The GrandMothers: Listening to internal dialogue
with changing win/lose climates
actively creolizes resonance.

Robersmith: “It involves a resistance to willful ignorance;
resistance to accepting all statements, especially unsubstantiated ones, as facts;
resistance to the despair that can rise within us as we face the public discourse,
the science,
and the toll taken on human communities.”

The GrandMothers: Cherishing our healing justice process
involves a resistance to willful dissociation
from the intolerable;
resistance to internalizing shame and blame communications,
especially unsubstantiated egocentric
narcissistic
anthropocentric elitism predicting universal injustice
as normless facts;
resistance to NonElite despair
rising within us
as we face StraightWhiteMale dominant
corporate debate,
masquerading as win/win discourse,
discerning and restoring market science
despite the toll taken on multiculturally robust communions.

Robersmith: “Unfortunately,
our individual reactions to human-caused climate change
can also be unhelpful
in terms of finding solutions.”

The GrandMothers: Unfortunately,
individual actions to self-caused
and family-caused
and tribal-caused
and LeftBrain dominant communication-caused
overheating climate change
can also be monoculturally unhelpful
in terms of finding cooperative win/win imagined resolutions.

Robersmith: Some of us are panicking.

The GrandMothers: AnthroSpecies is panicking,
trending toward lose/lose competitive corporate rabidity.

Robersmith: Some are refusing to listen.

The GrandMothers: SWM LeftBrain dominance
continues to violently speak and autonomously act
more than non-violently win/win listen.

Robersmith: “Some are trying to scare everyone into certain behaviors
(whether to reverse or ignore climate change),
and others are just reporting what they think they know.”

The GrandMothers: Some are trying to persuade,
prophecy lose/lose pathology
within everyone
feeding uncertain restraining,
restrictive
retributive justice
and stingy win/lose compromised peace
known as impatient tolerance of further war
violence
divestment away from health
(whether to reverse RightBrain punishing Other
or deny evermore WinElite-LoseNonElite culture not-change),
and others are just reporting
what we think and feel we need safety,
health,
resonant wealth,
resiliently robust compassion.

Robersmith: “With all this debate and reaction,
a problem that is as large as climate change
can cause paralysis,
ineffectiveness,
and despair.”

The GrandMothers: While not listening to what others feel
we cooperatively need,
With all this win/lose political theological debate
rather than win/win economic ecological discernment,
With all this retributive reaction
rather than restorative win/win dialogical communication,
a problem that is as large as climate change
and species mortality
and global extinction of all regenerative energy systems
can cause egocentric paralysis,
competitive win/lose ineffectiveness,
corporate economic despair
about LeftBrain dominant
SWM privileged
violent runaway Win/Lose
Either/Or
Thinking v Feeling
monocultural
monochromatic
monotheistic
monocapitalistic
monoelitist rabidity.

And still inside singsong continues,
a uniting pidgin neurological language
feeling thought integrity:

We belong together
Through all kinds of colonizing corporate weather,
We belong creolizing together.

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Planning for Grace

Last night I arrived very late
for a GRACE planning team meeting.
GRACE’s mission advocates against
all things racist,
whether systemic
or the normal chaos of hate
and sin
against everyday non-violent win-win
choices
policies
procedures
positions
platforms political and economic
sacred and secular
sociological and neurological.

I stepped into discussion of a thesis
that all policies are either racist
or anti-racist.

We were trying out various policies
to see if we could discover which they were.
This reminds me of a popular radio show
outing “HIDDEN RACISM!”

This discernment process
also reminds me of a hiring incident
in our Southern Region
In which a job description
with preference for academic credentials
over indigenous democratic leadership experience
led to hurt feelings of being disrespected
and concerns about systemic white male privilege
within our Unitarian Universalist Association
for egalitarian
and interdependent compassion.

Are budgeting procedures
that begin with authority of last year’s status quo
and are then incrementally nuanced
through recommendations of currently empowered authority figures,
like Treasurers
and CFOs
and Board of Invested,
often age Infested,
Directors,
racist or anti-racist?

Is prejudice just about policies
that must be bilaterally explicated
as healthy or unhealthy for inclusive empowerment,
or is white male privilege also hidden in our procedures,
our therapeutic proposals,
our strategic plans
to do more of the ZeroSum same,
whatever that may competitively be?

What about all our communications,
verbal and non-verbal,
personal and public?

What about all our investments
of time
and money
and positive or negative
or ambivalently uncommitted attitude?

And are all these things
just racist or anti-racist?
Or might they also be
egopatriarchal or ecofeminist,
ageist or multigenerationally inclusive,
nonbinary-phobic or pansexual,
aristocratic or democratic,
communal or capitalistic,
cooperative or competitive,
polycultural or monocultural,
WinWin or LoseLose,
NonZeroSum or ZeroSum,
RightBrain prominent or LeftBrain dominant,
non-violent or violent?

I can hardly wait to read more
about this thesis or antithesis
to find out what I may have missed
all my racist or anti-racist years.

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Critical Reminders

The faith that capitalism
is the only viable democratic economic system
we have experienced,
or could even ecologically imagine,

Reminds me
of the faith that retributive punishment
is the only viable governing political system
we have cooperatively experienced,
or could ever theologically
and resonantly
and compassionately imagine
restoring healthy peace,

Reminds me
of the faith that continuing to do the same competitive things,
make the same win/lose mutually feared assumptions,
will eventually result in some different
and less EarthClimate overheated
and critically pathological outcome,

Reminds me
of Einstein’s faith that repeating this business as usual default
unreasonably defines left v right handed insanity.

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Better Public HealthCare Planning

How much simpler
and yet vastly more complex,
diversely resonant,
past decisions to hire the credentialed professional elite
also choices not to hire a charismatic
brown-skinned
ecofeminist,

And how much more resilient
urgently cooperative
corporate win/win covenant repercussions might have been
if we stopped compartmentalizing,
and started intersectionalizing,
creolizing
transubstantiating
synergizing
integrating
regenerating
co-arising and co-gravitating
Win/Win assertiveness with non-violent communication Training,
CoInvestment Practice,
Multicultural Restorative Justice experience,
Truth and reconciliation,
Remuneration of cooperatively-owned health values,
Interdependent ecological and theological merit,
Compassion wealth.

If we could hear her outloud notice:

I feel sometimes angry
sometimes fearful,
sometimes courageous
sometimes curious,
and always disappointed
that I took this vulnerable risk
to transparently offer all that is my leadership gift
and then experience why this is still not enough:

Because I lack leftbrain dominant credentials,
Because I do not speak with cold white patriarchal dispassion,
Because I do not know disconnection as capital-business as usual,
Because I will not despair
of win/win felt outcomes
as if win/lose default unrealistic.

What then,
following this assertively non-violent vulnerability,
this win/win compassion,
this transparent noticing of:

Systemic Win/lose trending toward Lose/Lose monocuturalism,
Systemic racism without racist system conscious intention,
Militarized Patriarchalism,
LeftBrain dominant Either/Or deductive-reductive
Linear cause/effect logic,
Analogical purpose over metaphoric meaning,
MonoCapitalTheology
over Integral HealthWealth Win/Win Ecology?

What win/win compassionate ego/ecotherapeutic truth
and restoring peace
and reconciling EarthClimate Justice
might we more critically return to next?

Perhaps I might find our communal life safe enough
to share:

How angry I am
that I cannot hear our cooperatively-owned anger
that both neoliberal and neoconservations
of military-industrialized capitalism,
that worship of winlose and lose/lose violently transparent intent
continues blatantly budgeting to invest in more war,
in more hate-crimes,
in more automatic death sentences,
in more EarthWealth faster
and deeper
extraction of multigenerational resources,
in more corporate short-term blind investors in win/lose landfalls
instead of cooperative owner-workers invested in win/win health.

I am angry
and terrified,
deeply and widely win/lose disappointed
and lose/lose despairing
when I cannot hear
and feel
and see
and know
our mutual terror
and anger
about this Earth
and Earth HealthTribe
and Positive Energy Democracy CRISIS
of Ego v Eco
of Yang v Yin
of Left v Right
of Thought v Feeling
of Secular v Sacred
of West v East
of North v South
of Elite v NonElite
of White v Black
of Either v Or
of Bipolar v Dipolar
of Competitive Arising v Cooperative CoGravitation
of 1 ZeroZone Nomial v Non-0 Zone Bilateral Prime Relationship.

I am angry
and terrified
internal and external lose/lose climates
worship Capitalism
while marketing greed as
Catholic GoodNews of Holy-Elite Predative Communion.

Sacred meals and global EarthHabitat
separating us in our shadowed silos
of nontransparency
and nonvulnerably hiding the bread and wine reserves
violently defended, if necessary,
codependent absence of integrity,
positive communication,
cooperative EarthClimates
of polypathic health,
polyphonic resonance,
polycultural wealth,
universal sacred cooperative employment
co-invested in mutual warm listening
corporate
incorporated
health-capitalized
rich polycultural paths
truth
ways
means
life
passions

Angry and terrified,
courageous and curious.

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Feminist Ecolory

When Yin was growing down
and into belonging
still in EarthMother’s warm wet womb,
she followed her interdependent 0-wheels
of enscripted color and sound octaves,

Appreciation for multicultural sensory integrity,
primal relationships of sight and scale
felt polyphonic longing and/or belonging,
meta-physical creolization,
gratitude for polycultural dialogue
and consensual democratic circles
warm to discernment,
co-empathically seeking full-round consensus.

Meanwhile,
as Left-hemisphere dominant Yang
was colonizing out
and patriarching up,
he conserved 1-universal BusinessAsUsual monochrome
in triumphal shades of dark static non-elite nights
and peak triangulated wealth experiences of white
light
universally transcendent bright.

Yang thought in bipolar Either/Ors
of black or white
while Yin felt through dipolar Both/And
circles and cycles
spirals of nuanced multiculturing colors,
tones,
hues and felt cries
and sighs
and shy.

As they learned gratitude
for each Other’s 0/1 GoldenRule
and 1/0 GoldenRatio preferences of bipolar thought
and dipolar intersectional warm feelings of belonging
they deep learned democratic cooperative compassion
for healthy regenerativity
as positively and politically and economically
and ecologically and theologically
and analogically polypathic,

And mutually-owned disdain
for competitive win/lose longing,
reductive RightWing dominating seductive LeftWing
with aggressively monochromatic degenerativity,
negative paradigmatic dissonance,
both cognitively and affectively ineffective

Especially as Yin deeply repurposes growing down
and in
still under MotherEarth’s warming
wetting
multicoloring NonZero-Sum womb
loving democratic
meta-energetic
ecofeminist healing life.

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Humanity of Horses

My internal experience of depression
today shames
external ecology of elation,
all I might know as warm extended family
of profoundly peaceful impressions
still bare surviving
at end of this slow-fading thread.

This morning
one Epictetus sentence
speaks of blaming left-hemisphere dominant GodVoices:

“People are disturbed not by things,
but by the view they take of them.”

Similar to proving and approving:
Universal Gods are undisturbed not so much by peaceful events,
but by the transcendent view they own
by loving them.

Some days,
like yesterday,
I feel excruciatingly intolerant
of Earth’s
Losing healthy systems–LeftWing
and
Losing wealthy democratic resilience–RightWing
depression
suppressing what might,
more positively,
notice integral bilateral energy trends.

This synergetic,
yet distinctly negative,
degenerative feeling travels far beyond
compassion exhaustion
to despair.

Even an omnipotent God
could not have,
could not even evoke to grow,
further and faster extensions of sufficient compassion
for such death and dying misery;
absolution…
redemption…
all peacefully forgiven.

Among humans,
of course,
but extended to other dying
and already extinct species
reduced to fuel
for some predator species’ relentlessly extracting fire

And beyond all creatures here below,
to macro-political living systems
like self-cleaning rivers,
healthy surfing salt-water oceans
with multicolored coral reefs,
wealthy bones,

And topsoil organic life systems
and MotherTree forests,
and wild, complex boundary areas
of creolization,
interbreeding
petri recircling research and discovery
recovery
uncovery
incovery
excovery
anti-covery
pro-covery
positive covery
negative covery
expanding covery
shrinking covery
elation covery
depression covery
exhalation covery
inhalation covery
investment covery
divestment covery
empowering covery
disempowering covery
not not double-binding cooperatively owned covers,

Labels,
nomials,
variables,
experiences,
memories,
rememories,
memes,
images,
imaginations,
designs,
divine hopes and humane fears

I disagree with Epictetus;
This person is empathically disturbed by experiences.

Rape and violent militarized sadism
and politically sanctioned death sentences
come immediately to mind,
cold hearted starvation and dehydration
of innocent children,
ponies,
mothers,
mares,
peaceful fathers,
faithful stallions.

Meanwhile corporate gods drilling and fracking
greedily extracting
win/lose against future healthy regenerations
of Earth’s organic life.

Tell God:
A mother
watching her children stabbed
and/or starved to death
is not disturbed by events
but by the subjective view parents take of them.

If He agrees with you,
find a different Goddess Earth
with sufficient win/win compassion and hope
to change our competitive
Left v Right-hemisphere story.

All creatures are disturbed by negative events
and by Win/Lose
and/or Lose/Lose
views we take of degenerative ZeroSum violence,
eco-political
and neuro-psychological,
whether horse or dog
or cat or rat,
grateful and co-empathic predator
or cooperative divine-human nature.

But, my divine elation Right
unitarian yin climate,
reminds my humane depressive Left
universal Yang culture,
deductive proof of negative pudding
is in inductive gratitude for positive multiculturing outcomes,

All creatures are undisturbed by positive events
and by Win/Win views
and memories
and designing images
we receive for regenerative NonZero-Sum peace,
eco-political,
neuro-psychological,
theo-ecological.

I know
and deeply appreciate
an ecofeminist equestrian farmer
who says all this
depressing and elating stuff
much more simply,
“I trust the empowering humanness of horses
far more than the competitive horsiness of humans.”

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Out To Pasture

Retirement from community development,
facilitating cooperative economic justice
in this post-millennial time of climate crisis,
feels like being put out to pasture
with the rest of us toothless and feckless horses

Stalking senior centers
and gated communities
to weather the fade-out storm
of physical
and mental,
natural
and spiritual encroaching unease
and disease.

This was not my fade away intent
to graze quietly
with quivering and lame
retired race horses;
although worse company
is readily at hand.

I do like pastures,
meadows,
forest and ocean beach trails,
grains and crunchy carrots
and apples.

But, I also like song and dance
and restorative justice more than retributive injustice,
and skilled multicultural mediation
rather than monopolistic invasion,
and economic cooperative win/win public health investment
and politically empowering regeneration
more than competitively disempowering degeneration,
and polypathic compassionate therapies,
and polyphonic healing designs
and listening with healthy young bicamerally balanced
connected
attached
integral
holistic lives of active hope.

It has taken me so long to get here
in this valley of the shadow of climate death,
and I am so grateful for this vulnerable moment
to share all I can compassionately hear
in multicultural mediation pastures,
including senior health-discernment circles,
of course,
but also echoing off granite bold walls
of win/win ego/eco-historic bicameral mountains,
polycultural peaks
cooperatively grateful
for bilaterally resonant river valleys
of ancient wealthiest memory.

Old nags never die.
We just keep gumming
around Earth’s double-binaries,
longing to speak compassionately
as we have learned to curiously hear,
remember
resonate
reweave
regenerate
seasonal pasture space
of all Earth’s pastoral reasoned time.

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What Is Love’s Difference?

What is the difference
between an anti-theist
and a pro-humanist?

What is the difference
between a terrorist
and a terrific zest?

What is the remainder
when subtracting NonZero-Sum WinWin EarthBodied outcomes
from Zero-Sum WinLose capital incomes?

Why do
Permaculture Designs
and Restorative Sacred Justice Resolutions
share the same healthy wealth goals?
If they do,
and why don’t they,
if they don’t?

What is the health value comparison
between competitive LeftBrain dominant educational disciplines
and cooperative Right/Left predominate deep learning co-invitations?

What is the therapeutic value
noticing differences between invidious comparisons
and virtuous contrasts,
between bipolar oppositions
and dipolar co-arising appositions?

What is difference
and sameness
within non-violently healthy communication
and compassionately wealthy co-empathy?

What are cooperative tipping point systems
in-between ecological LeftBrain health-cultures
and theological RightBrain sanctuary climates?
Between secular
and sacred,
nature
and spirit,
exhale
and inhale,
compete against pressure
and cooperate with atmosphere?

What is the difference
between a win/lose agnostic
about Earth’s sacred integrity
and a Win/Win bicameral humanist
within Earth’s health-optimizing
revolving
returning
recycling
repurposing
reweaving
redeeming
resonant
resilient
regenerative synergy?

What is cooperatively owned
pantheistic DNA
and profoundly democratic-trust energy,
bicamerally trans-humanistic,
polyculturally self/other empowering,
Win/Win co-investment
in wealth of health nutritional
bio- and geo-systems,
ego- and eco-therapeutic networks
yang- and yin-healing operations?

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AzaRiah’s Earth Requiem

He was too old
to speak of active hope
for ancient creamy dreams
not yet boldly told

Inviting curious homeless nomads
to imagine what we could become
if we were not yet brazenly born
into this time of tragic burning,
flooding,
predicting hunger,
thirst
and coastal drowning nakedness.

Into this epic brown despair
AzaRiah was innocently born
within fading red shadows
of a crumbling
patriarchal
white cathedral.

She never knew an old Golden Era
of endless capital expansion
and monopolistic worship
defying GoldenRules
applied to those like her,
the least and blackest last
of Earth’s Golden SpaceTime Ratio.

AzaRiah’s stormy education
had no LeftBrain Ego v NotEco luxury
to ponder why 2D full moons
are also 4D revolving half-lit norms,

Why spatial nomials
predict temporal bilateral binomials,

Why positive polypaths
predict not not negative
polyphonic ultra-nonviolence,

Why binary Zero
fulfilling One bipolar Zone
predicts double-binary 0/1
wave-linear dipolar co-arising
win/win DNA resplendent Tone,

Why fractal-structured regenerativity
nativity predicts octave spiraling scales
of resonant
resilient non-degenerativity.

She was much too busy
singing with hurricane winds,
listening for flaming conflagrations
of reactionary hate,
inviting still small ecofeminist circles
to dance again with GrandMother Moon
in compassion’s silent storms,
self and other recreating
perpetual healthcare perception
reception

Belonging in grateful silence
where her grandfathers
spoke with terrified tears
of Earth’s great loud longing.

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The One OtherZone

Permaculture Design,
like any health restoring process,
begins with listening to each ZeroZone client
speak about deeply held goals and underlying values
they would like to share with their OneZone property(s).

Integral Permaculture Design
is no double-binary exception
in its ZeroZone internal culture
and OneZone external climate
appositional view (not necessarily oppositional),

A NonZero-Sum dipolar co-arising relationship
that restorative justice would heal
through compassionate comparisons
between predator and prey,
ego and eco-other.

These emergent analogical comparisons
need not be LeftBrain reduced to invidious competitions
of overly industrious agricultural ways and means,

Pitting Man Against MotherEarth
rather than a more cooperative dialogue
between Holy ZeroZone Spirits
(Winds, Healthy Breath, Positive Atmosphere-Energy)
and bilateral properties
of Holonic OneZone MotherEarth

As bicamerally mapped
nature/spirit
yang/yin
climate strength/polycultural flow
Within bilateral neurological structures
(e.g., thymine/adenine prime 0-relationship)
of DNA’s fractal-Yang/Yin
half-octave ZeroZone display.

Experiential Non-Zero Sum GeoSystemic Structures
of 4D prime relational EarthMetrics
(see Buckminster Fuller, Synergetics I and II)
can become distracting
from more essential warm wet-wombed Original Attachment
(see Positive Developmental Psychology, especially Attachment Theory)
within win/win unfolding regenerate tissues
(see Win/Win Game Theory, especially Tit For Tat cooperative outcomes)
and compassion-default healthy neurological development values
underlying more RightHemisphere felt therapeutic needs,
compassion wants,
win/win ecofeminist hopes,
for both ego’s Left ZeroZone
and economic/ecologically interdependent OneZone
in Sacred RightHemispheric communication co-investments
(see Iain McGilchrist and Julian Jaynes and Marshall Rosenberg)

CoOperative future polyculturing Paradise
for polypathic non-violent communication Outcomes
in polyphonic regenerative harmony,
peace,
self-optimizing permaculturing designs
for more nutritional dialogue, investment, empowerment,
less parching debate
between ZeroZone bicameral neurological balance
and OneZone, as not Alien Other,
yet also not(not) EarthSacred Other

Historically and culturally rooted in win/win experiences
of healthy/wealthy EarthMother polycultures
as not(not) warm
moist
refulgent MotherEarth

Issues of too-warm
too-fast changing properties
and opportunities of just-right/left
sacred HolySpirit tipping point boundary experiences
(see Buckminster Fuller, again, and again…)
restoring polycultural 0/1-bilateral co-binary Zone
EarthJustice win/win slow-grow regenerative trend properties

Within each of our potential
ZeroZone healthy
sacred
sacramental
sanctuary-building
compassion therapeutic
non-violent communioned
restorative justicing
EarthWealth
HolyWind
HolySpirit Clients

ZeroLeft/OneRight Elder-Sacred-Indigenous
rather than

OneLeft/ZeroRight cognitive/emotive
political/economic
multiculture/health-climate
power/light
yang/yin
bipolar LeftBrain dominant
competitive
either/or
sequential
linear
deductive/inductive
negative exhale more than positive inhale
degenerative-trend dissonance.

Restorative justice processes
like Win/Win Strategic Permaculture Design,
also ends with listening to each ZeroZone client
within and without,
speak about deeply held future health goals
and underlying wealth values
we would like to share as cooperative OneZone EarthSanctuary(s).

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