Life Planning Love

We were sitting in our 60+ sharing circle
on a rainy Tuesday afternoon,
grey and raw and dreary,
listlessly speaking of the need to downsize,
to transition to a more manageable
more safe
more audible habitat.

And wanting to hang onto our independent mobility,
our cars, in most middle-class cases,
as long as possible.

We talked about proactive planning optimal independence,
about eventually living with our kids,
about potential confluence and conflicts of interest,
about shrinking invulnerable distances
between “someday,
as far from today,
as possible”
and the lightning quickness
of crushing physical and/or mental disability,
non-communication ability,
through accidents and aneurysms,
unfortunate and therefore unplanned critical events.

We did not talk about
how we felt
courageous and curious,
brave and patient,
afraid and angrily impatient
about how mortal life is what continues
only one day
one uncritical moment
at a time
while planning for other loving things
to unfold before
“no longer sacred SomeTime
as far away from secular today
as physically AND mentally,
naturally and spiritually, possible.

I didn’t notice,
until later,
we also didn’t look at cooperatively-held
unitarian plans
for win/win
health/wealth outcome optimization.

The hypothetical possibility
is “someday” for mutual pre-planning
cooperative downsizing
and shared mobility challenges,
letting go by first grabbing hold
of shared imaginations.

We didn’t talk
about how much we didn’t like
the empty chairs,
About how we miss, already,
Kate and Betsy
Jan and Sandy
and what they are planning
between shared now
and autonomous then.

Their unique and irreplaceable ways
of planning and not planning
pre-planning and re-planning
life each day
while continuing with other relationships
other communications

I didn’t talk
about wanting to live with other singers
and maybe even dancers,
with others deeply committed to compassion
for both mortal humans
and immortal living Earth

inviting habitats of warm
cooperatively-owned and -managed
creative improvisation,
jazz rhythms,
blues beats,

Especially on raw phrases,
dreary riffs,
Tuesday jamming afternoons
of richly audible gloom.


Complex Causes

Do you believe racism and colonialism,
and maybe corporatism and LeftBrain dominance,
are coincidental,
causally related,
or co-arising?

If causal, which is cause
and which is effect?

Do you believe political and economic values/disvalues
are coincidental,
causally related,
or co-arising?
If caused,
which is cause
and which is effect?
Which form of empowering/disempowering investment
takes first position?

Do you believe contagious hate
and destructive predation
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If caused, which is cause
and which effect?
Which came first?

Do you believe masculine
and feminine
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If caused, which is cause
and which effect?
Which comes as first trimester
delineating DNA default?

Do you believe living
and dying
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause-effect interdependent,
which is currently causal for you
and which is dipolar effect?
Which comes first
for you
and for all sentient beings?

Do you believe transcendent becoming
and immanent being
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause/effectively interdependent,
which is primary
and which is secondary
for you
and for all sentient beings?

Do you believe compassionate communication
and healthy relationship
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?
If cause and effect,
which is cause
and which is effect
and which came first for you?

Do you believe regenerative health
and degenerative loss
are coincidental,
causally related,
and/or co-arising?

Double-twining emergence of dipolar appositions,
where once lived left-brain bipolar oppositions,
both-and positive and negatives,
where once lived either LeftHealth
or RightPathology trends,
Elite and NonElite
days and months and seasons
of individuals
and homes
and species
and habitats
and revolving
regenerative more than degenerative
win/win living Earth

Composed of daylight predators
and nightmare dreaming prey,
yang overpowering yin,
left and right political
and social
and economic
and ecological wings
and hearts
and minds
and reproductive systems
for soaring up and down
out and in
breathing regeneratively in,
degeneratively out

If unidirectionally causing changing life
without static death,
then which is cause and which effect?
Which comes first?
For an egosystem;
for an ecosystem;
for an holonic ego
within a robust
re/de-generative system;
for an interdependent ego/eco climate web
of life becoming love’s healthiest communion.


Another Racism Forum

Our Black Lives Matter team was hosting
another monthly forum on racism,
as regularly scheduled,
anti-patriarchal business as usual.

The facilitator opened with a question,
asking for a show of hands.

“If you had to choose
between two nominees for public office,
or any form of executive leadership,
one promising multicultural compassion
and the other pledged to national or corporate strength
of will-power,
one emphasizing win/win care-giving and -receiving
and the other loyally getting the practical
win/lose competitively prioritized jobs done
as quickly as possible,
which would you vote for?”

Republicans in our gathering,
although not many,
favored win/lose realistic and efficient will-power,
and the Democrats favored win/win compassion,
and the large majority of Independents
either didn’t raise their hands at all,
or raised their hands both times,
or raised both hands in a fist
and just left and right retained positions of resistance.

The facilitator followed up,
“Now, what if a Green Party candidate
integrated these two cultures;
Campaigning for a resilient public/private health care climate
of strong-willed compassion
in solidarity with all Earth’s balanced
deep and wide
networked inter-relationships?”

For this, an arcing, unsnarcing, rainbow ovation,
and little more unhealthy
business as usual.


Historic Healing Projects

I had two big projects
from 1970 to 1975,
The first,
to earn a usually white Bachelor dual-major degree
(which sounds at least sexist
as a usually black, brown, red, yellow Mistress nondegree)
of deep learning about yin/yang,
east/west interconnections
cultural communions
between persuasive Speech [and non-verbal] Communication
and attitude changing Psychology.

My second project,
like the first,
was about coming out of my investigating queer closet;
how to find peace
within a new, yet resilient, extended family
through healthy attitude change
about GLBTQ identity
and hetero/homo interdependent family persuasions.

These two projects,
one feeding my left brain academic hunger,
the other watering my right mind emotive thirst
for healthy communicating win/win relationships
of untold infinite harmonic historic resonance
for EarthTribe rememory climates,
theological inside metaphors
for resilient outside ecological communions,
creolization of interdependent gratitude
rather than heterosexual colonization attitude;
became One curious and courageous investigative aptitude,

This comes to mind
as I think about how the religious,
theologically driven, sector
of my local community is,
and is not,
prepared to lead us into climate rapture
rather than more degenerate business as usual climates of trauma,
lose-ego/lose-eco death.

Healing competitive win or lose climates,
sadly heading toward almost inevitable traumatic loss
of living EarthTribe identities
and living Earth
invites historians to remember
“traumatized parts stay frozen in time
for a reason, right?”
(from Sarah Peyton’s “Your Resonant Self” p. 105)
therapeutically interdependent parts stay fluid
across historic climate changes
for a reason, left and right?…

Whether theologically perceived as secular NotGod nature
or ecologically felt as sacred Gaia spiritual webs
of interdependently complex emergent EarthMother
historically co-present rebirthing wombs,

Disconnected religious-theological memories
protect business as usual
eco-illogical exploitation
of sacred Earth,

Ecological life continues
while local faith community theologies
are planning for other rapturous and hellish things

Bowing to our own collective trauma
of universal sacred interdependence
giving way to immersion experiences
in disconnecting traumas
of fallen
fallow win/lose competitive human egocentric nature
more powerful than right mind Earth-climate balancing spirits
creolizing hetero/homo historical resilience,
multi/mono-cultural resonance.

our early 2020 historical revision project
begins with revisiting our diverse faith community
local histories.
How were these motivated
to bring together for healing
lives ignored
and otherwise abused
by already established good/bad faith communities?

How were established theological communions
potentially enriched
by their new neighbors?
Prepared for healthy win/win creolization climates
rather than ever more chaotic trauma
of win/lose side-by-side stiff-jawed tolerance
of not cooperative gospel-singing divisions
between lives co-present on sacred Earth
intended for interdependent raptures
of healthy-wealth webs and wombs
for actively hopeful life?

What are the original founders,
our local saints of communal faith inheritance,
inviting us to reconsider?
How to grow theological and ecologically healthy resilience
to end traumatized-by-negative-climate degeneration
rabidly competitive over-populated
and under-inspired
merely tolerated secular multiculturalism
rather than actively curious poly-culturalistic sacred immersion experiences
in locally complex histories
reweaving future win/win communal potentialities,
left brain resilient climates
with right mind theologically resonant local nature/spirit
transubstantiating theo/eco-logical communion
for present
and future
co-inhabiting past
health/wealth climates of co-revival,
inter-religious thrival.


Inclusive Epiphany

Your euphony
sounds like my epiphany
he explicitly noted.

Your polypathic resilience
feels like my polyphonic resonance
she compassionately warmed and comforted,
nurtured and nutritioned.

Your theologically divine relationships,
progressions through historical multicultural experience
think and feel my ecologically natural communions,
processions through polyculturing anticipations,
s/he silently sang,
imaginatively danced,

Not for future performance,
but from past inclusive participations,
compassionate regenerations,
dispassionate degenerations,
passionate incinerations,

Euphonic epiphanies.


The Powder-Free Vinyl Exam Glove

It occasionally occurs to me,

as I distractedly remove my right dominant
Powder-Free Vinyl Exam Glove,
after yet another young adult diaper change,

Perhaps getting lovingly laid
by a lifetime committed
caring and passionately consenting peer
filled with warm compassion,
active hope for tomorrow
would not be the worst conjoining thing
that could happen to neuro-alternatively-challenged intelligent beings
childishly preferring win/win cooperative outcomes
derived from compassionate climaxing thought-feelings together
while experiencing full-sensory resonant mental health.

Then again,
I suppose the same
powder-free examervation might apply
to economic and political narcissists,
and patriarchal double-binary
co-disassociative left v right hemispheres
runaway debating between lonely older aescetics
ordained to fulfill male dominant sublimation
through yin-recessive win/win co-passion’s ostracization,
cognitive-affective dissonance.

And then I wonder
how long will it take
to re-sacralize humane non-elite poop
as richly robust future compost
best for black gold richly embedded fertility,
as I race and gender and age
to throw out plastic scat bags,
filled with cotton and plastic diapers
and under/overpads,
and right dominant
Powder-Free Vinyl Exam Gloves.


This InBetween Climate

This in-between place
and time
and space
is queer.

Neither the straightforward seer
of new beginnings
nor the recalcitrant rear
of old sweet and sour endings.

Bicameral climates of transition
listen for our most humane imaged left
and see through our most divine beauty right
complexly bilateral metaphor,
secular and sacred transubstantiation
substantiating disempowering empowerment of creolization,
of co-investments, elite and non-elite,
of left investors
co-arising right effluent divestment
away from competing capital-headed
Business As Usual

In-between lose/lose alpha-point of birth
and win/win omega warm felt beauty
harmonious destiny,

Sacredly holistic resonance
co-passioning left-hemisphere resilient liturgies

Of songs verbally and non-verbally danced
rhythms entranced
co-gravitating with and toward trans-regenerative stories
of competitively deep curious and queer cooperations,
steeped in-between courageous analogical health
as meta-phonic wealth,

Ecologically robust polypaths
toward polyphonic metaphor.