Tough Love

My evolving definition of Tough Love:

Messages sent by someone with political-economic power over you,
sent by an authoritative administrator of future positive
and/or negative
intending some version of
“my way or the highway,
Win-Lose strategic communication.

MyWay v. LoserWay proposals
imply their victim’s response
will either result in Win-Win
or Lose-Lose health and nutrition outcomes
for both predator and prey
within this rhetorical choice event
of AngerFear motivators for LovePeace
mutually co-mentoring WinWin outcome design.

Predator is typically internally conflicted
by the ambivalence of noble willpower
while negatively co-mentoring mutually-competitive
double-negative-negative intent.

Decision of parasite,
vis-a-vis Host’s Tough Love Position
heavily influenced by degree of currently known environmental support
for WinWin option
as compared to LoseLose game rules established by Host-Predator.

Significant environmental considerations
may be cooperatively positive
and/or competitively negative
with both the WinWin frame
and the LoseLose oppositional-defiant frame,
inclusive of,
but seldom limited to,
the parasite’s relationship to the ToughLove Message Originator
and Host.

CoMentoring Parasites
wishing to transition ToughLove messages from Ego-Self-Empowered Hosts,
might suggest looking together
at how the Parasite position Wins
short-term and long-term
and how the Host position Wins
short-term and long-term regenerational health and safety-trends;

Then compare those Wins
to what the Parasite position Loses
short-term and long-term
and how the Host position Loses
short-term and long-term
what might be missed opportunities
for optimizing regenerational health and contentment,
love and peace
by continuing the Parasite-Victim’s
current LovePeace status quo,
v. AngerFear control and trajectory
toward further disease and cognitive-affective dissonance.

At this point,
it might be possible for both the Hosting ToughLove Predator
and the CoParasitically Present Victim
to engage in some dialectical conversation
about how we might achieve healthy cooperative
peace with regenerative loving kindness,

It might help,
in this regard,
to co-define perameters for
“short-term” and “long-term”,
somewhere between the range of
short as timeless-now PresentMoment emergence,
and long as time’s eternally regenerative self-consciousness,
folding and unfolding and refolding and prefolding syntax within
co-arising bicameral mindbodies.

It could also be more positively regenerative,
to agree on a scale of potential win and lose outcomes,
with optimal win polarity described as
PolyCultural Global Bliss and Peace
and Love with Justice for all Earth Tribes,
and lose outcomes trending more toward PolyPathological
Eco-Dysfunctional Over-MonoCulturally-DisPopulating Screaming Chaotic Voices
of Deadly Irrational
and Eternally Damned Dismay,
Fear of Internally/Externally Empty-Landscaped Fear
becoming Our EgoCompeting Selves.

EcoPresent Presence
speaks and acts,
nouns and verbs,
causes and double-bind effects,
our ToughLove tipping points,
teaching ourselves how we might win less anger and fear
to win more mutually loving peace
Internally cooperative intent
and positive-willed mindbodies,
as Externally regenerative time-articulating
nondual co-arising gravitas,
timeless elating gratitude,
bicamerally balancing ecoconsciousness.


Broken Family Pilgrimage

Broken hearts
neural systems
heal in a profoundly broken,
sometimes revolutionary,

Almost 18 now,
youngest son Yin speaks no domesticated,
marketable language,
only primal syntax of saintly glory,
heroic internal/external story
without distinction between “life” and “love;”
he can only know life/love as co-arising NOW,
inviting his perfect insight,
eco-self thru interdependent-other consciousness
flowing through DNA-engorged neural norms
of autonomic karmic grace
and Presence-Centered beauty,
ZeroCentric YinYin polydextrous
mind-body flow
primally rooted in
“love-as-happy” snaptic
dipolar correlated with
“loss-as-absence” aptic
polycultural faith
in Time’s unfolding harmonic abundance.

Teacher of Mystic
full-bodied mind-dreams
in sea of child naivete
of Win-Lose evolutionary revisionism
of his Earth Host’s
rainbow revolutionary evolutionary re-membering
of what only human language has exegetically severed.

Sainted SunSon
with primal gifts
to smile with intelligence of good-reiterative humor
to dance with feet and hands
with skin and ears and bones,
to sing bicameral balance in neural-cranial vibrating septum,
dia-hemispheric vision
voice of all Earth’s bicameral livings
and minds
and hearts
and legs
and arms
especially stereophonic ears,
echoing eco-resonant deep sound,
co-gravitational nondual voice.

Mystic Son
resounding fractal-octaved crystal memories
of primal forested seasons
with reasons for Heaven Dawning
Golden Rules Upon Earth’s
Bilateral In-Formation,
I is You is Me.

ego/eco double-binding
buddha body consciousness
rich in healthy wealth nutrition.

Perfect son.
Perfect co-mentor.
Perfect neighbor and family member,
sometimes rather verbal family contract renegotiator,
bus always right and true,
noble and good and just,
good-humored contentiousness
about our collective cognitive dissonance,
thinking we are healthy and he is not,
as usual,
half-ass backward.

Perfect co-messiah
of regeneratively full life.

Perfect icon
of low anxiety
grows low neural synaptic activity
emerges (0)-centric ego/eco Angel-not-so-manic Syndrome,
silent siloed saints
of cooperative ecoconscious conscience
regenerativity as beauty with good humor.

Excellent zen-guru,
tao transducer,
in our dipolar incubator,
regenerative nest
floating in our polycultural timeless sea
where seasonal syntax
speaks bicameral reality.

Yin-sun knows “family”
only as ballast
toward regenerative kinship
“we cooperatively
eco-culturally are
and ionically share”;
without shadow of
ballistic weaponed
“you’re not family”
eisegetical creed
deductive reductive dominating
exegetical greed
to cooperatively feed each other
nutrients of healthiest wealth
regenerative open-optimizing
reverse hierarchializing
in-formating full-health function.

Yin-son’s family
means you are loved
with dignity and co-respect,
co-investors in Earth’s tribal gifts,
and cellular intelligence,
octave-harmonic frequency
Midway balancing
between hopeless tumor
and faithful humor.

Our Yin-Sun
who teaches me everything
I need and want to know
to love and care for him
is to learn love and care for self.

Broken hearts
neural systems
heal in a profoundly broken,
sometimes revolutionary,
world turned rightside down
deeply transitional and climatic,
even clinically chronically decommodifying
degentrifying, decompositional
yet still-inceptual
wavey wu-wei way.


TransParentSea of Children

Earth Host
and all her mutually codependent
co-arising Earth Tribes
of inclusive cellular regeneration
have continued evolving
new wine in old wineskins
new eggs from old genetic nests,
running on both dipolar Tao-Cylinders,
karmic grace-optimized in Neutral
Midway P=N(NP) as Yang=YinYin,
with fractal 4-Prime Thermodynamic Balance–

Once learned,
never forgotten,
like autonomically riding
a bilaterally reforming function.

Both cylinders
also landscapes and hemispheres
labeled ego-internal-receptor
and eco-external-transposer
by Left brain dominance,
each with its own dipolar temporal-linear string
optimization story,
transgenerative history,
polyculturing as “Beloved Community.”

As Left contracts more climatically
monopolistically self-deductive -reductive
with critical competitive events
and win-lose strategies for ego-survival,
Right expands more cooperatively
abundant wealthy health of values
polyculturally dipolar double-binding eco-norms
for designing and re-developing Plan B cooperative
network of politically power-optimizing economics,
between tribal co-arising parasites
and Host.




While Earth is a global ecosystem composed of many tribal species, forms, ecological functions, frequencies, Earth is also one holistically cooperative, self-regenerative economy.

Our cultural beliefs about “economics” evolved from agrarian and survival instinct origins, when our original economic intent was understood as parasitic dwelling within a benignly harmonious, more or less, four-seasoned, sometimes less, cooperative Host, played by ecosystems of residency.

Value, exchanged and traded and bartered for value was an extension of natural systemic stimulus-response, cause-effect, gratefully given and gratefully received, more or less, as the basic nutrient value assumption.

Completed exchanges were decomposing history with all economic parties interdependently involved, some more directly, some less, anticipating regenerative intent, a win-win healthy economic norm of cooperative orthopraxis.

Real property was never something that could be purchased or sold because it could not be owned. This would be equivalent to believing the parasites “owned” the Host.

As shared stewardship gave way to defensive Mine!!! positions, our eco-cultural paradigm of usually benign Host with usually benign and mutually subsidiary parasites gave way to food chain empires of predators v. prey.

Competitive economic shortages were born of anthropocentric perceptions of, and concerns about, insufficient nutrients and shelter for all tomorrow, and next winter.


Hospitality Economics

Never give up.

Always give down,


only what you would hope to receive

from upstream.


Ego identity only exists now.

A moment ago,

and a moment from now,

you ecologically individuate,

balancing self-identity with environmental messages

and memory string revolving through your seasons

and imagination,

both hopes and fears,

values and disvalues

back to doubly-bound DNA,

maternally and paternally balanced.


What you received downstream

evolves what ego invests upstream.

Karma hosts time’s regeneration,

your ecological investment,

sometimes dislodging revolutionary synergy

when space and time reveal themselves

as yang and yin,

polymorphic positive physics

hosting -(-) meta-fractal fold

flying binomial time.


We submerge spatial out

with temporal echoing in.


Earth Rights, and Lefts

Earth’s Solar Economy


The sun can bathe filth with its light

But the sunlight will never be tarnished

Rumi (trans. Margam Mafi, 2014)


Client: Earth


Evolutionary Project: Passive/Active Solar Economic Incubator


My Permaculture Design Certificate came from Shutesbury, MA, last year, with Kay Cafasso, hosted by Sirius Eco-Village, where, indeed, things can become serious, especially in January, when we started. Later last year, I was ordained as an EcoMinister, by the Order of Universal Interfaith (OUnI), to co-facilitate and mutually-mentor with my “client” Earth.


Now I realize how silly that sounds. I mean I don’t really think of Earth as my client, but I do think of her as my vocational, and residential, host. I like this better than client, for reasons that are transparent to anyone who has wrestled with our parasitic infestation of Earth’s warmly embracing natural economy. And, host reminds me of Renaissance artisan and design economies, when a wealthy sponsor would requisition a project for his (too occasionally her) habitat.


There is another problem up there in that first paragraph. I thought I was ordained, but then Rev. Miner (no, seriously, that’s his real name—I know, I can hear all those “mining for Earth’s ecological riches” metaphors going through your analogy-drenched consciousness) couldn’t host the ordination scheduled for a gorgeous early October Sunday afternoon, embedded in an 8-day Work That Reconnects training with Joanna Macy, in Rowe, MA. Although I have no OUnI credential, I still hold that time as when I stepped into this Permaculture Design and Development vocational stewardship with Earth.


The first step, as you all know better than I, is to visit the site and notice. If you have the leisure to string this noticing stage through all four seasons, so much the better. In that Earth happens to be my sit-spot, my cooperative intentional community, as well as my vocational host, I have been keeping my journal for a full year now.


As I understand it, which is a significant caveat, Earth chose me for this Solar Incubator project because of my commitment to cooperative economic development. So I am tailoring my sit-spot host interview questions toward what I notice about Earth’s ecological, and sometimes not quite so logical, economic system.


I turn to my Questions for Client Interviews and skip past the first section, Questions About Use, because the second section, Questions About the Client (aka Host) seems more urgent.


I see no question like “what is your gender” because I suppose that isn’t germane or, if it does matter, the answer will be self-evident. But, I’m new at this, so it takes me a minute to realize that the answer is either bisexual, or perhaps polysexual. I think there is some kind of virus or bacteria that has eight distinguishable sexes, which seems like a confusingly ambiguous way to procreate but apparently it’s working out for them, so who am I to judge, right?


Going through the questions, the first few don’t seem to apply to Earth. Or do they?


How many family members now, ages and interests. Future growth of family.


Earth has a dense polycultural diversity of species. Most act like family most of the time, except one, kind of adolescent, one might even say tantrum-prone toddler, species with precociously competitive, acquisitive, extractive, ego-centric interests.


Human economic systems have been a chronic risk to the future growth of Earth’s family since Left-brained dominance replaced LeftYang/RightYin hemispheric balance, maybe. Family history is not my strength. But, from an economic perspective, risk to future development seems to have started with the extraction-fuelled economy, ramped up later with our capital-drenched value enculturation, now becoming linguistically monopolistic over what once was solar multisystemic ecological consciousness, awareness, maybe even Buckminster Fuller’s Universal Intelligence.


Where did you grow up?


Earth evolved out of regenerative plasmatic stardust; kind of an immaculately informative co-receptive conception, like the regenerative fertility emerging from unions of sunlight and Earth. Solar radiant sperm gratefully received by Earth’s ribonucleic parasites, perceived as light and warmth and energy, magnetic waves and functional balance, dynamic yeast absorbing into Earth’s revolving polycultural skin, pores, ciliating succulent dynamic solidarity. Earth emerges as a reiteratively evolving, cooperatively regenerative home; and host, in this case.


What was your last home like?


Hmmm. OK, just move on, maybe that’s a question for our future generations. And I certainly hope they have a more generous answer than my adult kids have for that question.


How long do you plan to live here?


Well, the long-term strategy appears to continue regenerative system development as long as we have sufficient light and heat, and not too much light or heat.


What occupations?


Regenerative Multisystemic Designer, Developer, Processor, Facilitator, Host, Incubator, working within a subsidiary and primally dynamic solar economic system. In other words, Earth enjoys a revolving ecology that distributes light and dark energy with both electromagnetic and thermodynamic balance. This balancing vocation may be threatened by extracting weight from Earth’s core faster than it can be reabsorbed and by unbalancing the weight and/or speed of appositive polarities, like the North and South Poles.

Describe your neighbor relations.


Cordial. We all tend to stay in our own interdependent orbits around the sun, except our moon, of course, but that relationship is the exception that seems to prove the mutual subsidiary ecological rules within our planetary neighborhood.


Do you have any allergies?


Earth’s natural systems appear to be allergic to dissonance; defining dissonance as dysfunctional frequencies, flow disruption and turbulence, anomalous arrhythmic loss of pattern articulation and boundaries. These economically incarnate as deviations from a (0)-sum balanced Win-Win strategy, with small investment risk, sustained slow growth, ecological exchanges of time, language, energy, information, resources, nutrients, fuel, and, sure, capital too, why not?


Eating habits


Diverse polycultural form and function. More economically nutritious during light exposure, leaving plenty of time to digest deep dreams in more reflective, and redactive, moonlight frequencies. Prefer abundantly positive banquet style with a seat and place setting for everyone, all species, all generations including those no longer reconciliating and incarnating with the rest of us, and those who are with us only in more DNA/RNA encoded future form.


No one gets seconds until everybody has had a balanced sustainable intake of positive nutrients. No table is served twice until all tables on Earth have sustainably balanced nutrient delivery sufficient for all species at all tables.


Unfortunately this nutrient exchange economy has slipped away with the onslaught of TV dinners, and instant breakfasts.


How self-reliant do you want to be? In what ways?


Finally, an economic question. I was wondering if we would ever get to the nutritional investment and value exchange question.


Earth most certainly does NOT hope to ever become self-reliant, any more than she would deliberately choose to be an impoverished, orphaned, single-parent with way too many hungry moon dependents that she is doing her best to mentor in the ways of regenerative economic balance—all of which requires actively cooperative interdependence, or synergy.


If Earth did not have her moon to worry about, then the natural rhythms and patterns of her light and dark nutritional, fuel, and relational economies would be considerably less complex, sometimes even disturbing. That said, she seems to love Elder Moon, and the gravitational and luminary atmospheric anomalies need not detain us from our focus on Earth’s primary dynamic vocation, to interdependently continue, with her Solar Systemic Family, orbiting around the sun with gravitational polar and circumferential balanced frequencies and positive, clockwise, spin trajectory, to optimize Permacultural Continuous Quality Improvement (CQI) Ecological and Economic Standards.


This evolutionary project is not about self-reliance, Earth’s permacultural design vision is optimized cooperative, inclusive, life-sustaining abundance; all made possible because of her ongoing synergetic romance with Sun.


Pets livestock, wildlife enhancement?


Well, duh, yes! This is Earth we are talking about here. We’re all residents at the same Solar Systemic address. The Golden Rule of ethics applies globally. No way Earth wants to lose any of her DNA/RNA regenerative investment in life’s future.


So, OK, now I think maybe I should skip ahead to the Priorities questions, because I just have too many unanswered “sit-spot” questions remaining About Use of Property and maybe going to what stands out as the main patterns I noticed will help me sort out my own priorities.


Worst problems? Why?


Earth’s prime economic problem is the evolution of a competitive capital-dominant monopoly in human-nature’s economic value system. Why doesn’t human nature notice that Earth’s prime natural systemic economy is cooperatively nutrient-driven and polyculturally regenerative?


Solar energy grows Earth’s photosynthetic breath and warms her atmosphere, solids, liquids, atoms, molecules, cells, organs, communities, species, food, both prey and predators, subsidiary parasitic populations, and ecosystemic hosts. Any gardener knows this stuff.


Earth has passive and active solar energy. Active solar energy is designed and developed to serve the nutritional and other fuel needs of humaned nature. I don’t know, maybe its hu-maimed nature. Again, I get confused when I start thinking outside my “sit-spot” perspective, which is populated by deer and turkeys and hawks, an occasional eagle overhead, squirrels, sparrows, trees, grasses…but only occasionally by humans, and dogs.


Earth’s solar economy is renewable, I think, or hope so anyway. The sunlight falls on everybody, every form, creating the very possibility of information and a system, rather than chaotic absence of relationship. Earth is our economic Commons because Sun radiates light with pay-it-forward investment in the production of consumable nutrients, absorbable energy, breathable air, drinkable water, listenable octave sound and perceivable octave sight frequencies.


To date, Sun has not given Earth notice that transferring solar values within this cooperative organic economy will result in loss of light or solar energy, so the Commons economy is indefinitely regenerative, contingent upon Sun continuing to radiate frequency and functional values that synergetically balance Earth’s ecological design and development.


Earth’s primary economic development problem is human nature’s competitive, Left-brain dominant, and therefore ecologically imbalanced, blindness to our permaculturally dominant passive, and pacific, solar energy, nutrition and wellness economy. Radiant light grows natural systemic Basic Attendance. Solar energy develops Earth’s prime economic values and relationships, forms and functions, through her balancing natural frequencies.


Where on your site do you like the most? Why?


Earth’s solar economic sweet-spot is what a Game Theorist, blended with a Group Theorist, like Gregori Perelman and his 0-soul Theorem, might understand as a (0)-sum Win-Win inclusive cooperative gaming strategy. Earth does best being able to absorb all of Sun’s radiance, feeding and heating and regenerating her DNA/RNA value-cells, without any loss of balanced and harmonious atmosphere. Everybody’s end-game goal is to win together, or nobody ultimately wins. Every organic system’s ego goal is to end play with no more and no less than when play started, back with the egg and sperm event, speaking of DNA.


Some passive solar economic techniques to consider:


  • Reorient Earth’s human nature toward (0)-sum solar cooperative economics. Go full passive solar cooperative across all paradigms and value exchanges.


  • Select nutritional options for optimizing informational absorption, depth, density, thermal mass.


  • Reflect light’s reiterative and regenerative, and reflective, properties when developing inclusive polycultural value-optimization design. Cognitive dissonance theory, and a little too much experience, tells me that if I don’t mentor my own cooperative ecological hopes and dreams, if all I do is write in my sit-spot journal about them, then that is just not pay-it-forward enough for optimizing economic outcomes.


  • Design comprehensive spaces that naturally circulate ecologically balancing values, like information and energy and air.


  • Solar value absorption purifies, and pacifies, salves, conciliates what we feel without becoming ego-competitively contaminated.


As to the question of why Earth likes this (0) sum Win-Win strategic game best, as plain as the sun on my face, I suppose she really likes her unique Solar Systemic role as a passive solar revolutionary economic incubator, flawlessly spinning out Permacultural CQI Optimization Standards, except for that over-populating, extractive, Right-brain oppressing, human DNA species.


But, that’s OK, the problem is the solution. I learned that in my permaculture class.


Ecological Economics

Buckminster Fuller and Laotse share a primordial concern with our economic well-being. Just as our economies are our value transactions, our governance, of self and others, is our ordering of values, which may be either positive and confluent, bringing contentment and just peace, or negative and dissonant, bringing entropy, decay, and cognitive dissonance.

The economies of natural systems, including humane natural systems, follow an explicated Yang-convex-Positive AND gravitationally implied Yin-concave-Negative ecological principle of balance. This is not so much a static place of stasis; more of a dynamic spacetime of diastatic mutual enculturation. Evolution unfolds a generative economy of Positive YangPolynomial and Negative No-Longer-and-Not-Yet YinPolynomial balancing mutual prehension. Economic disvalues are counter-evolutionary, irrational, and dissonant. Natural systemic values enjoy prime relationship ecologic between physical gravity and metaphysical gratitude, between our body’s intuitive sense of balance, correctness, rightness, and our mind’s sense of balance, correctness, rightness, truth, equity, beauty, goodness, and logically optimizing value.

Where Fuller and Laotse differ is in their contrasting historical relationship to the Industrial Revolution. Laotse would not have recognized a distinction between ecological value and economic value. His wisdom roots back toward a shamanic sensory baptism in the flow and force and function of natural waters and winds and seasons and light and dark voices. Logic was ecologic and analogically cognized and incarnated. A fully optimized economic life is a life lived in contented harmony with Earth’s natural systems, including mutually subsidiary relations within the family and community.

Fuller, on the other hand, has a more prophetic mission, to reconnect economies of optimized design and regeneration with natural logic discerned through observing biometrics, and analyzing their implied geometrics of natural system development. Fuller also had a post-Darwinian arsenal of symbiotic relationships to draw from. While Laotse has at least been interpreted to dwell on predator v. prey competitive natural economies, Fuller’s enculturation permits keeping this competitive assumption in play with cooperative host-parasite relationships. The relationships of primal and primary and prime interest to Fuller are Earth as host and humans as parasites, and perhaps body-physical information as natural host and mind-metaphysical universe as analogically and ecologically derivative of natural energy, metric development, and oppositional balance. Not so much consciousness as parasitical but nature’s intelligent comprehension as ectosymbiotic design.

Fuller wanted to prove global nutrient sufficiency to move away from a competitive economic culture of predator v. prey, in a world assumed to struggle without inclusive bounty. Since the 1970s, according to his analysis, there have been no ecological barriers to moving away from Win-Lose competitive economic assumptions, in favor of more sustainable, peaceful, and mutually grateful Win-Win cooperation; an emergent post-millennial ecological foundation for our species’ inclusive  and life-sustaining economic regeneration.

As our cells have learned a cooperatively supplemental subsidiarity within their mutually parasitic economy, so too human egos can learn a cooperative mutually subsidizing ecologic for sustaining life and more regenerative economic trends for Earth’s evolving ground of all being. Fuller and Laotse both frame a natural systemic positive teleology, systemic understanding of ecological meaning and purpose, without invoking a systematic theology. God becomes Universal Ecological Intelligence discovered through observing the flow and function of natural form, the evolution and devolution of information.