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Abortive Trauma Tales

When you and your wife visited,
you shared a question asked by a pastor
of a raped
and thereby pregnant
vulnerably young and questioning parishioner.

“If your unborn child survived
his first year
and walked back into your home
do you think you would still want to kill him?”

Probably not,
I’m thinking.
And,
perhaps more pastorally significant
and responsible,
how can we, in resilient compassion for ourselves
and for those who trespass against us
mitigate sacred rage
against ancient sins of our predative Fathers?

The next morning
over coffee and breakfast
your wife told a surprising story
of meeting a woman
in a Carolina church basement
who boldly claimed to be
an unapologetic pagan

Certainly not repenting;
more like recruiting

UnStraight out proud wiki
without thinking that might be an appropriate sin
for inviting healing prayer
rather than embracing
as if possessing a pure and virtuous soul
matriarchally regathering
HolyEarthPeace Spirits.

Your wife’s response
cautiously avoided Retribution Is Mine!
weaponized words,
another patriarchal sin of our historied Fathers

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that before”
right out in public
toward lunchtime on a bright spring day
and certainly not in a ChristChurch basement

I silently wondered why your wife did not seem to feel
this pagan should be aborted

Stoned to death
or at least hanged
for defying the Good News
of Straight White King James
colonizing Jesus.

If there was a conversation about how many pagans may feel
about abortion of healthy tribal lives
or Great White Father rape,
or the somewhat wider history
of patriarchal predation against matriarchal wisdom
she did not mention such old crone witchery

Studying dark theistic codes of dueling history
usually tolerating abortions of Othered human lives
for exceptional survival reasons
emerging throughout traumatic transition years
for various viciously circling reasons

A well-capitalized
verbally articulate
personalized monotheistic God
might appear to be against
polytheistic Muses and Witches and Goddesses
within EarthTribe mind-spirited space,
political place,
economic race

On the Othered,
and safely aborted, hand
pantheistic spiritual commitments
supporting multicultural
animistic
pantheistic
panentheistic
polycultural respect
may more resiliently redevelop
sacred
sentient
holy spirited life
at the EarthTribal
universally uniting EarthPeace level
of sacred passion

Respect for our interdependent thriving lives
does not mean we are not also
abortionists to survive the trauma
of invasive felt predations,
biological
and ecological
and theological
and political.

Divine respect for co-infested fertile life
might include respect for death
and gratitude for EarthTribe lives sacrificed

As we hold hands
and bow our heads
with gratitude
for hungry stomachs satisfied,
for sacred quenching waters,
outs and ins of healthy bodies,
backs and forths of wealthy minds

With trust our thirst
for tribal trust
does not imply that when and what I swallow,
I abort

And do not also co-invest
in this our cooperative resilience

Health care giving
and receiving
EarthTribe sentient wealth

Respect for dark
deeply raging
patriarchal trauma
does not imply
disrespect for more therapeutic
matriarchal light.

And just so,
I reversely suppose,
universal peace
uniting holy spirited respect
for resilient
brilliant sentient life

Does not imply
disrespect for trauma,
despair
and death

Which I had been struggling with
when you and your wife visited,
and you shared your story
of a raped
and thereby pregnant
young and traumatized parishioner.

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Searching Earth’s Days

Search me
for my life’s meaning

An earnest search
for social value,
if not economic,
or ecological,
or nutritional,
I guess
when minds remind mortal

Ends maybe measured
in positive communication

Frequencies of win/win
strategic resolution
development
engagement

Growing deeply embedded layers
of communal
organic
green/blue Earth resonance

Searching me
for strong
and flexible
inside/outside-resilience

Searching me
for Earth’s healthiest
and safest mean balance

Searching me
for my life’s highest
and best health
and wealth
of purpose

Searching Sacred We…

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Supreme Dreams

Regenerative health opportunities
engage divinely omnipotent passions
omnipresent copassions
omnisciently felt cooperative intent
of co-invested green panentheists

Systemically,
necessarily whole organic
synergetically requiring
dipolar co-arising round corporate risks
of eventual degenerative time lines

To project and prepare sufficient safe space
and healthy multi-generational time
for subsequent recreative iterations,
sacred economic exchanges,
co-empowering transactions,
resilient nonviolent communication relationships

Transubstantiating
win/win health systemic
optimal EarthJustice
trauma prevention
enlightening bodymind
EarthTribal resilience
of co-invested empowerment.

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Dad’s Privileged Song

This sacred son
was not born to dance
or sing
or speak.

He will never read the paper
or earn his first green dollar
or sow
what success
more leftbrain enabled
hope to reap.

But, he is love.
His fashion fills compassion
He brings peace
And when he touches with his eyes
or reaches with his hand
to touch me
I am at last healed
enough

And then I know
why I was born to dance
and sing
and speak
this great and glad felt
and touching wisdom
of romance.

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Redemptive Economics

Economies of cooperative redemption,
like taking turns licking melting ice cream cones,
favorably contrast to
stingier economies of personal private
sticky and prickly ownership

Including feeling entitled to purchase
whatever and whomever
I can afford to buy or rent
in cash up front
or through a commercial commodifying
installment plan product
with interest paid out
to a not personally invested corporate banker

So often straight white He
with legal right to demand full repayment
on my unfortunate self-overextended
imbalance.

Economies of competitive secular development,
rather than sacred cooperative resonance,
sadly and madly contrast
compete against
empowering richer economies
of compassionate and resilient stewardship
not entitled to purchase sacred Earth

Nor to shop for bargain basement llands
and seas
and laborers
unpaid for cooperative working foundations
win/win playing
and designing co-creators
copassionately co-invested
in sacred polycultural joy relationships
in
and on
and now sadly under
our future gladly flying over and around
ecologies of win/win wealth

Co-invested
co-redemptive
permaculturally healthy
and robust enlightened financial systems
producing politically empowering
passionately resilient outcomes.

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Trauma Prevention

My most important priority
for personal inside health care
is polycultural outside
EarthCare

Environmentally cooperative
divine health caring enlightenment
empowering humane safe
sufficient wealth care.

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The Trauma Prevention Department

Don’t want to be stuck
in the Trauma Prevention Department.

Don’t want to work that hard
on dogmatic compartments
for politically correct CAPITAL INVESTMENT
governments
over-investing in cautionary
conditional
chronic win/lose mistrustful
competitive dissonant miscommunications
and excommunication
which is counterproductive
for best Trauma Prevention practice

Of mindful-civil cooperative warm regard
AND co-investments in
EarTherapeutic Community Resilience.

I do want resilience to be free minded
in a compassionate
healing
and attentive way

To re-awake,
at least in the intimate privacy
of my own imagined MusicTherapy video,
a more youthful
possibly kinda lustful
want and need to sing and dance

For some extravagantly hot romance
inspiring love songs

To MotherTrees
practicing Earth mindful
sacred MoonDance motion skills

Chill

No nasty military commodified drills
for Trauma Perpetuation

Reviving soulful sensory want to play
win/win economic and political
peak experiences
all day

Often on some water shore,
a river valley waiting with anticipation
for just this one last gasp more
economically correcting
by power and light reconnecting

Unconditionally positive warm
well-moisturized humane bodies
co-invested
in co-operative
co-empathic passions
for universal health
and unitarian EarthTribe safety

Is probably not more
win/lose competitive
LeftBrain dominating monocultural worship
of monotheistic AnthroVerbal Supremacy
afraid to listen and speak nonviolently
about our need to deny
our apparent desecrating vocation
propelling EarthMatricide

Which is why I am feeling overwhelmed
and don’t want to be stuck
in the Trauma Prevention Department

So, I was wondering
could you direct me
to the Restorative Resilience Department?

It must be
I fear
some small wayside closeted
indigenous wisdom compartment,
probably dusty
from lack of use
during the monotheistic hegemony era
blessing straight white industrial
and commercial
and agricultural
and financial
and labor forced predations.

Restorative Resilience Department…
Not sure if that would be the Psych Ward
for Trauma Management
or Public Health and Safety

My constituents are MotherTrees.
Do we have any Public Health and Safety plans
or programs
or policies
or procedures
or practices
to restore their neural root
and branch resilience?

I ask
because I know the therapists
and administrators at the Psych Ward
and they don’t have a clue
about resilience planning.

Way too busy
managing trauma
anxiety
depression
chronic stress
overwhelming the Trauma Prevention Department

Which is why I’m feeling stuck,
not having a lot of luck
finding anyone who gives a…
outside the apparently missing
Restorative Resilience Department
of Mindful Corrections
and more positive redirections.

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Why I Am Here

At the Planet Gym
embodying my best business
when suddenly I wonder

Why am I here?
repeats
and repeats
in my wandering ear

And what magic
might appear

Isn’t that queer?
Not WHY am I here
with these Straight People

because this overpopulated question
may obscure other
quieter
ambidextrously resourceful directions
less shaded by fear
of robust diversity

I suppose
But, what can I hear
about why am I here?
and not over There
on the Other side

What two-sided relationships
would I need
to become fully here today?
and all seasons yet to arrive
in this sacred home of People
Plants
and PlanetEarth

With gratitude,
I suppose…
but, Why am I here
again?

Cannot mean
only those purposes and means
asso-sedated with my home address
and sometimes needy
sometimes hostile
[downright spankin mean]
neighbors

More creature comforts,
certainly
AND we search for sacred meaning
inside
more intimate

Spiritual enlightenment
perhaps shyer,
timid
early childhood Loser-Trauma

Drama messages
win/lose valuable

Vulnerable communications
with imperfect win/win transparent closets

Hiding chronic stress histories
of anxiety
longing for sacred peace,
or even just a secular piece, you know,
now and again

For chronic stress,
anxiety

Longing for peace
or restored ego-resilience,
or at least a restored recliner

Happiness, and a marketable craft
and EarthMother teaching skills

For relearning not sad gladness
in hope,
joy
in anticipation,
gratitude
for opportunities
to co-invest
in always interesting neighbors

In the Planet Gym
mindbodying
our best health business.

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Anticipating Diversity

Diversity explores
both resonant and opposing positions
with nearly predative anticipation

And such perversely curious
reverse revisioning diversity deplores
with monoculturing anxiety
quietly crossed
and boldly violated boundaries
of personal
and familial
and municipal
and EarthTribal
indigenous integrity

Sacred space expands mindfully perceived
unless this Business As Traumatically Usual place
is too lose/lose dark
and I am too win/win blind
to keep faith with dimming starlight

Celestial Glitter Rivered Ways
majestic
yet ominously silent Spirits
of ancient silvered sentient bright

Yet momentary mortal time
feels reflective light received
sufficiently reassuring
mythically alluring
for transient transportive pleasure
and tenderly insufficient
for full-colored organic measure
of integrity’s potential Paradise.

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DisOrdered Sons and Fathers

May all sacred,
but not quite omnipotent,
fathers learn this day
as we impatiently correct
our stress-disordered sons

That respect is earned,
so maybe disrespect is too
positive and negative layered
for and against authority
for and sometimes restlessly against
repeating Business As Usual
white middle-class dadisms:

You snooze
you lose

May apply to your lethargic
chronically anxious
thuggish
couch-surfing
cannabis-fed son

And yet feels counter-intuitive
for babies
and us great grandads
who need our outside rest
away from commercial
too lit up
and loud
and relentlessly plastic
inhumane degradations

In such a rabidly anxious hurry
to wait for inevitable pandemics
and genocide,
floods
hurricanes
tsunamis
forest fires
drought
dry river beds
famine
insomnia
rabidity

Taking a snooze
feels like a healthy alternative to:

capitalist narcissism
anthropocentric monotheism
monoculturing nationalism
painful survivalist isolation
demented diseases
species extinctions
anthro-supremacist

safety and defense-oriented males
on a bad day
in a depressing moment

Become
yackity yack disrespectful
feeling privileged to rightwing exclusively define
“real [and not indefensively stupid] men.”

Yet quietly hiding
under these sacredly respected
and secular unrespectful unsuspecting layers
of diverse manhood hues and cues
and patriarchal cultures

Capital invested climates
prefer cooperative integrity
over dormant faith-based respect
and creatively traumatic disrespect
and unenlightened
stress-triggered unrespect
dis-integrity

Desecrating sacred solidarity feelings
learned today
as synergetic need/want supportive
communication systems
sometimes impatiently correcting
my pre- and post-traumatic
stress disordered father
son.

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