Tag Archives: dark

Uncategorized

Abortive Trauma Tales

When you and your wife visited,
you shared a question asked by a pastor
of a raped
and thereby pregnant
vulnerably young and questioning parishioner.

“If your unborn child survived
his first year
and walked back into your home
do you think you would still want to kill him?”

Probably not,
I’m thinking.
And,
perhaps more pastorally significant
and responsible,
how can we, in resilient compassion for ourselves
and for those who trespass against us
mitigate sacred rage
against ancient sins of our predative Fathers?

The next morning
over coffee and breakfast
your wife told a surprising story
of meeting a woman
in a Carolina church basement
who boldly claimed to be
an unapologetic pagan

Certainly not repenting;
more like recruiting

UnStraight out proud wiki
without thinking that might be an appropriate sin
for inviting healing prayer
rather than embracing
as if possessing a pure and virtuous soul
matriarchally regathering
HolyEarthPeace Spirits.

Your wife’s response
cautiously avoided Retribution Is Mine!
weaponized words,
another patriarchal sin of our historied Fathers

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that before”
right out in public
toward lunchtime on a bright spring day
and certainly not in a ChristChurch basement

I silently wondered why your wife did not seem to feel
this pagan should be aborted

Stoned to death
or at least hanged
for defying the Good News
of Straight White King James
colonizing Jesus.

If there was a conversation about how many pagans may feel
about abortion of healthy tribal lives
or Great White Father rape,
or the somewhat wider history
of patriarchal predation against matriarchal wisdom
she did not mention such old crone witchery

Studying dark theistic codes of dueling history
usually tolerating abortions of Othered human lives
for exceptional survival reasons
emerging throughout traumatic transition years
for various viciously circling reasons

A well-capitalized
verbally articulate
personalized monotheistic God
might appear to be against
polytheistic Muses and Witches and Goddesses
within EarthTribe mind-spirited space,
political place,
economic race

On the Othered,
and safely aborted, hand
pantheistic spiritual commitments
supporting multicultural
animistic
pantheistic
panentheistic
polycultural respect
may more resiliently redevelop
sacred
sentient
holy spirited life
at the EarthTribal
universally uniting EarthPeace level
of sacred passion

Respect for our interdependent thriving lives
does not mean we are not also
abortionists to survive the trauma
of invasive felt predations,
biological
and ecological
and theological
and political.

Divine respect for co-infested fertile life
might include respect for death
and gratitude for EarthTribe lives sacrificed

As we hold hands
and bow our heads
with gratitude
for hungry stomachs satisfied,
for sacred quenching waters,
outs and ins of healthy bodies,
backs and forths of wealthy minds

With trust our thirst
for tribal trust
does not imply that when and what I swallow,
I abort

And do not also co-invest
in this our cooperative resilience

Health care giving
and receiving
EarthTribe sentient wealth

Respect for dark
deeply raging
patriarchal trauma
does not imply
disrespect for more therapeutic
matriarchal light.

And just so,
I reversely suppose,
universal peace
uniting holy spirited respect
for resilient
brilliant sentient life

Does not imply
disrespect for trauma,
despair
and death

Which I had been struggling with
when you and your wife visited,
and you shared your story
of a raped
and thereby pregnant
young and traumatized parishioner.

Standard
Uncategorized

Exit Strategy

To prepare for final cosmic breath
exhaled
echoing first breath
inhaling
waiting to exhale
pausing for Earth’s final soliloquy

To terminate all humane
and inhumane relationships
Commitments
and lack thereof
Obligations
and assets
Risks
and opportunities

To clean up any risks
of disenfranchising anomalies,
coloring too wildly
outside monoculturing lines;
to do no harm
and feel most helpful
for future regenerations

To choose to say goodbye,
farewell
with loving kindness,
warm regard for myself
and kindred Others

To not grasp and cling and hide
due to fear of personal loss;
to embrace sufficient curious courage
even in these last darkening days

To engage in the exit process as deeply
and fully
as I engaged in my birthing process–
neither of which involve my total control
of my most intimate and integral situations;
both of which involve some range of choice-making
sometimes
especially regarding property
and especially NOT regarding interpersonal relationships,
dipolar co-arising
win/lose risk and win/win opportunity,
life as love
in fast and slowing lanes
and recycling seasonal circles

To optimize health,
safety,
joy,
release,
freedom for Self and Others
in this final preparation for Great Transition

To minimize trauma,
stress,
anxiety,
depression,
sadness,
claustrophobia,
stuckness

To let go gracefully
with emotional intelligence

To not get lost
in loss

To warmly embrace
my turn to speak
and sing
and dance
and possibly communicate
has passed

To clear a sacred space
and sufficient time
for Others to listen
more compassionately together
than falling carelessly apart.

Standard
Uncategorized

Dark

Dark chances,
unhealthy and unsafe trauma
HiStories

Degenerating predative dogmas
not wanting to let go of ballistics
even for dawning light’s sacred promise
to grab full-immersion hold
and heal dark mythologies
lose now and again later ecologies
repeat rehearsed
inside-only voiced
dark passion narratives

Speaking out alarmed Betrayal
from those you were taught to Trust–
[it was Her job!
I have an unconditional contract
on a warm wet naturally wombed
and spiritually unwounded
birthright!

Defying Other’s Anger
about my gift-economy Hypocrisy
about my sacred Golden Rule restriction
win/win positive aspiration,
invoked by nature’s spiritual
Hippocratic Oath
to at least do no damage
losing trusted breath in
so losing full breath back out
again
and again
and repeat breathlessly again.

My own most difficult,
occasionally traumatic,
distressingly long, slow
letting go transition

Feels almost inevitably headed
for natural health-Lose
spiritual health-Lose
despair

Unless we all keep trying our best,
not just me
cleaning up your mess
to suffering servant impress

All us AnthroPrivileged victims
aware of traumatic over-populated
rabid traumatic
and pandemic health risks,
and runaway
emerging PTSD
and dementia
and suicide
and matricide
and ecocide

Make it almost impossible
to respect ourselves
yet not fear
retributive justice officers
and judges
and monolithic Yang-Jehovah

Dispensing punishments and fines
and shame
and blame
where the only obvious victim
I can see
is me.

My dark protagonist continues
to be victimized,
even now in aging memories

Every day past light
leads, at dusk,
to dark future
leads, at dawn,
to soon past light…

Yet my attachment to enlightenment
encourages me to disregard
co-arising dipolar dark empowerments
bicamerally re-associated

Yet awkwardly, sometimes
with high-risk trauma histories
monoculturally LeftBrain
EgoCentric predative Yang

AnthroPrivileged Voices
stuck on healthy and safe past orthodox
value systems
personal
and economic
and political
and separate and unequal
bi-sensory
and anti-sexual competitive dogmatic traditions

Not spiritually or naturally learning
so not wanting to let go
even for dawning light’s healthy promise
to grab resilient hold
and heal dark
post-traumatic lose/lose
zero-sum global
ecocidal winterish nightmares

Dipolar co-arising
unconditional warm sun rising
well-moisturized
copassionately co-invested day dreams
and horizontal dances,
core-chakra interpersonal win/win
exercises
nonviolent practice
practice
practice

Until we get our cooperative peak experience
sacredly awesome
and restorative ecojustice
left and right again

BiLateral
BiCameral creolization
in timeless tides
of over-swelling
regenerativity

Not quite
so bleakly alone
trapped in silent screaming stark
Dark.

Standard
Uncategorized

Nature Nurturing Questions

Why is misery said to love company
while depression demands solitude?

And
is it always true that nature abhors a vacuum
and/or
sometimes true nurture adores expansion?

Misery,
depression,
anxiety,
negatively respond to trauma.

Negatives do not look for like company
but can positively appreciate co-passionate listeners,
lit up not not glisteners,
dark solitude
giving sway
power
light
to more festive solidarity

Negative energy,
entropy
transforming toward
positive integrity,
synergy

Perhaps reparations
restorations
regenerations
reassure these positive feelings
to grow increasingly rational
as negative trauma events
continue to outreach,
and/or discontinue to inreach,
our cooperative,
and/or competitive,
therapeutic plans
problem-solving designs
rational regard
healthy projections
wealthy predictions
positive anticipations
and/or negative anxieties
about recession
depression
oppression
suppression
negative impression
retribution sticks
are not restoring carrots.

Misery loves solidarity
when ready for some kinda manic,
co-therapeutic
good-humored
win/win enthusiastic
spirited
dynamic problem-solving

Outside depression’s
BusinessAsUsual
secularized
severing
secretive locked box,
brain-and-body stormy,
rather than embodied brain full storming
love’s transcendent positive possibilities

Why does re-creative planning
to heal our polymorphic
whole open organic
thinking systems
co-passionately co-invest shared feelings?
negative through positive,
not negative non-zero positive
regifting anticipations.

Why do depression
anxiety
misery viciously
and virally escalate
in isolation?
excommunicated vacuums
of discommunication

Absorbing left-hemisphere
self-wounding negative labels
for feelings of Introspective Loser
UnreNouned Retard
Dirty Nigger
Floozy Faggot
Bull Dyke
Silly Sissy
Flaming Fool
if not selfing shame
then othering blame,
felt trauma nurtured fear
rebecoming terror’s natural anger.

Why do victims of past win/lose
wallow in a perennial vacuum
denying communal
win/win therapeutic
integrity?

When does compassionate solidarity
abhor unnatural trauma events
and dispiriting nurtured
disempowering denatured
misery
post-traumatic stress disorders
chronic depression
feelings of all is lost?

Loser Ego
re-cognizing Loser EcoCommunity
inside/outside despair,

Disrepair
beat down
defeated
by monopolistic
monoculturing traumatic
weed-choked aggressions

Despite what we hoped
would become a cooperatively managed
organic
health paradise
wealth-resilient garden

Rather than a silent
demilitarized
remilitarizing zone

Fearing I will awake
to yet another day
alone

Abandoned
unable and unwilling to be heard

Asking this loser victim
of self shame
and callous Othering myopic
and epic
blame

Why s/he abhors emotionally negative vacuums
yet silently loves
therapeutic positive ideals

Of communities communicating,
win/win company
co-empowering win/lose problem-solving

To repair
restore
replace chronic trauma risks
with potential therapeutic opportunities
for ecosystemic
ego-extending
co-passionate communication

Decelerating win/lose traumatized communities
of monoculturing trauma climates
by restorying risks of isolating anxious vacuums
with opportunities to anticipate company
healthy community
wealthy solidarity
nonviolent communication

Deep and wide feelings
re-membering eco-matrimonial
panentheistic
sacred integrity’s questions

About primally warm
well-moisturized
glistening
listening
integrity of sacred swelling
wells.

Standard
Uncategorized

Health ReNewing Years

Polymorphic design
for kids from one
to ninety-two
wondering how to see
local through global
EarthJustice trauma prevention
more clearly through

When we recognize
what inspires healthy polycultural design
of polypathic minds
and multiculturing bicameral hearts
and polyphonic non-zero zone
resonant souls

Is both stress-reductive
good humored
win/win strategic practice
and good trauma-informed contextual governance

For safe
and happy co-governance

Then,
in this Here and Now
renewing year,
healthy business
and safe good humor
will no longer appear like two
incompatible win/lose
either/or
universal Left
v. unitarian Right

Monoculturing Yang dominant
v. polytheistic yin prominent
antagonistically competing WorldViews
v. EarthJustice GoodNews
indigenously opulent wisdom.

Here and Now becomes
our Christ Mass
Pagan Solstice
polypathically healthy
and polytheistically safe
polycultural co-governing
Earth PeaceTrain

PolyMathic win/win happy
socially wealthy
and Earth double-binding wise
co-binary refrain

Merry ChristMass
PaganSolstice
light peace and dark justice
with you

Is MeWe
two thousand twenty three
universal unitarian
West and Eastern hemispheres
north and south
up and down
out and in
Yang wuwei Yin
cooperatively co-managed
prosperity.

Standard
Uncategorized

Dark Souled Night

Black seeps deep dark empowering
back widely and wondrously enlightening
black reaps deep dark EarthTribe empowering
back wide wounding SunShine
wondrously enlightening

Blank as deep dark Earth
empowering responses back
nocturnal
from wide wild SunShine
wondrously enlivening
eternal

Black seeps deep dark empowering
back widely and wondrously enlightening

Standard
Uncategorized

Gifted Doorways

“Grief can be a doorway to love.”
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass

Grief can open toward gratitude
As loss can open doors to access gain

As trauma can open hearts
to therapeutic brains

As neglect can foster curious compassion

As depression
can incite active
co-empathic impressions

As double negative sociopathologies
can notice doorways
to positive psychologies

As double-binding
dualdark entropy
can open space
for positive double-binary energy strings
of co-empathic
multiculturing time

As isolating sadness
can open doors
to love’s transcendent gladness.

Standard
Uncategorized

Relationships I Hope For

I need clear blue rivers of life
to not always flow away from me,
in some direction
I can’t
or won’t
go right now.

I need green commitments to home
to feel mutually nurturing,
sheltering,
organic,
peaceful,
cooperatively engaging
in nonviolent communion,
co-passionate integrity
of sacred emergent space.

I need the sky
to not always feel grey,
dampening my curious natural spirits.
Instead,
I want to always imagine,
as needed,
as invited,
as if sun summoned,
a radiant blue sky
singing reflections
of invisible spinning stars
on the other
lighter side
of deepest icy winter’s
dense
dull
dark cloud bank
of settled in oppression.

I need rich black soil
to support my feet,
my nose,
my stomach,
green trees,
brightly colored plants
and amazing animated animals
giving back robust excretions,
reparations for past extractions,
borrowed co-investments
infesting EarthTribal
creolizing rich brown humus.

I need my rain-bowed neighbors
to notice
applaud
cheer
celebrate
when two elegantly athletic white swans
sensationally fly upstream
to hang out at our downtown harbor
where we eat
and drink,
rest
and float,
dream
and gloat,
on land
and sandy water,
at least side by side,
if not honking happy
swimming together.

Standard
Uncategorized

Natural Seeds With Spiritual Roots

I can see difference,
but also sameness,
between neurological networks
and internal/external co-empathic sensory experience

InBetween metaphor and analogy
reflecting contrast and cooperative comparisons
between natural perception
and spiritual feelings

Of confluence/dissonance
with and without
all that is Holy
and Dissonant

Persistently
devilishly against all we feel holonic
organic
synergetic
interdependent
creolizing
integral.

A root metaphor
for this win/win creative intention
invites a seed’s natural potential
to experience a healthy spiritual root system
embedded in a polyculturally wealthy experience
of naturally spirited EarthGaze

Nights and Days
for co-invested wellness
Celebration.

Standard
Uncategorized

EarthDay by Day

Day by day
within each passing shadow,
surging strength
to grow from fear through time.

Night by night
without full hope of living,
doubt pervades
my troubling mind’s worst fears.

Night by day
and day by night
within each dwelling passion,
faith I find
to live despite dark nights.

Day by night
and night by day
we dream co-dwelling passions,
loves as lives
to die apart in light,
to fly as part of bright.

Standard