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Dear Sue

Dear Sue,

I am remembering our strong negative responses
to the young woman who surreptitiously read
her aunt’s very private diary,
filled with vulnerable statements
of the most intimate nature
and transparently lusty spirit,

Yet, though secretive,
then took a bold black marker
and wrote vulgar, poisonous words
on most every previously locked and hidden page,

And yet, even here
she used her own judgmental inside voices
but wrote in her younger innocent brother’s hand.

We both found her choices highly distressing;
difficult to even read, imagine
squeamish to hear from a young niece perpetrator
or an old aunt victim.

I wonder if this is because we can empathize with both
the obstreperous and egocentric young, disturbed
with adult hidden and disruptively vulnerable agendas,
rebellions,
sometimes hedonistic
sometimes narcissistic,
usually both, back and forth
like yang then yin,
patriarchal power lust, then matriarchal depression
in response to chronic economic and political repression.

Do these actions,
intimate hidden self-disclosures
followed by a too yangishly adolescent monoculture’s mocking inspiration,
venomous uncaring,
toxically rapacious expressions,
aggressive actions and word choices,
with fully uncensored malicious intent,
speak to deep listening
yet camouflaged through deflection,
distraction,
political sleight of hand,
giving off responsibility to some,
most any, Other
our own wounded skeletons of silent memory?

Powers brought to a very exclusive co-arising table of one,
acting as a duplicitous two,
bipolar in passive-aggressive
depressive-manic responses
to surprising disclosures
of older, respected, staid hidden agendas
written by those we have truly loved
and hoped to continue loving
without remainder, reserve,
without this unexpected erupting hidden agenda
to protect ourselves from what feels creepy
too manic or paranoid,
smelling of hidden conspiracies
to express attraction
in ways deviant from our own proper expectations
for our own,
and Other’s, therapeutic integral behavior.

I thought of that wicked niece,
and our responses to her perfidy,
after a dream last night
in which Donald Trump
was writing curse words
with a bold black marker
in his dominant RightWing hand
all over his concrete wall

And then all over the original Jeffersonian Declaration
of Interdependence
away from white narcissistic,
patriarchal,
unenlightened royal privilege

And then Sorcerer’s Apprentice Trump
ruthlessly
blackly wrote dirty jingoisms on,
stabbing at,
our original Adams and Jeffersonian
compromised democratic constitution

Written with compassionate radical trust intention
trying to declare all creatures,
slave and free,
enlightened plants and planet,
equal in everyday enchanting dignity,
assuming great prosperity benefits of polycultural cooperative economies
internationally fertile,
valid,
effective for well-being
of all the people,
plants,
planet,

Still to this Trumpian day falling politically short,
still awaiting fulfillment
by those who can read and write more skillfully,
non-violently
less passive-aggressively,
less conspiratorially
less toxically enraged by WinLose multicultural losses
across the pages of our transparently democratic
yet divine
intent.

Anyway,
it seems we recognize this aversion to hidden narcissism
through empathy, cooperatively empassioned
in each other as a polypathic strength
strongly shared.

Thank you for speaking in solidarity
for a healthier, effluent ecofeminist affluent flow power
as we read across the pages of our own hopeful history books,

Still holding old school faith
found in each other’s passioned eyes and ears
and relentless spiritual-natural senses
of positive and negative and double-negative humors,
tumors benign and cancerous
rumors of magical queendoms
at our open liberal loving left hand,

Where agendas may be hidden
but not from shame or blame weapons
so much as reserved for our own tool-shaping pleasure
to disclose when and as we choose
and as our gifts for compassionate co-empathy
are most multiculturally needed,
exercised,
stretched toward optimally resonant
resilience for all people,
young nieces and old aunts certainly included,
and MotherTrees
and humbler passioned plants
and MotherLanded planet.

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Power: Love v Whatever

What might it take for love to conquer anger
fear
hate?

How is holistic compassion already more contagious than a-holistic self-hatred,
we-hatred?

There is more than one way to hear a**holistic here,
but they all have to do with sectarian divides,
sometimes felt more intimately, reductively personal,
and sometimes more transparently, seductively political,

Sometimes closer to home-caused and owned,
and therefore remedied,
and sometimes more great transitional,
and therefore more uncooperatively and disintegratively,
deductively,
unholistically,
sectarianly,
violently communicating
and pro-actively transporting
toxic viruses across monoculturing unhealthy unwealthy
absence of passionately healing opportunities.

Growing holistic compassion,
like growing organic THC,
depends on environmentally empowering supports
for positive,
healthy,
resilient relationships
with all Earth’s co-passionate NatureSpirit systems
and ecotherapeutically integral strategies
for wealth optimizing health,
mental and physical,
spiritual and natural,
theological and ecologically inter-related,
co-arising dipolarities
of contrasting inside and outside Janus-faces
internally/externally co-passionate.

Compassion for oneself opens doors
and windows of consciousness
to pro-actively discuss changes toward robust health
with others
within an authentically wealthy and responsive society
with mainstream healing,

Rather than too often punishing deviance from bullish patriarchal nihilism,
meekly acclimating to non-relational toxic neglect,
failure to nutritionally appreciate yourself,
ourselves,
for who we truly
compassionately already are,
at least in our best positively deviant moments.

So, there lies our individual fundamental key to happiness
by moving from self-punishing habits of thought
and feeling entitled to misdemeanors
and even more aggressive and violent felonies
unreceptive
unpardonable blocks to this journey turning toward compassion
for oneself
spouse
kids
neighbors
community
state
nation
animals
plants
Earth, now
past
and compassionately revolutionary future
Great GoldenRule Transition.

Investing in self-judging voices,
You screwed up again!
You are worse than useless!
You are lazy,
have no healthy work ethic,
want to play all the time
like an irresponsible two year old!
On and on and on…

Such self-afflictions are way less compassionately healthy
than calmly accepting past errors,
sins against compassioning humanity,
without absolving yourself of therapeutic reparations,
carrying all these negatives more lightly
as also enlightening potentially positive partial truths
validly applied to all of us
on our worst days
and most uninvited moments
reacting to perceived neglect, abuse,
shame
blame
diverse toxic pain

While living together in God/Gaia’s city (farm, sanctuary) on the Hill
is more about our universal SuperEgo’s bicameral pilgrimage
to restore Earth’s original holistic compassion.

Passion between a judgmental LeftBrain,
seeking retributive justice,
and a more compassionate RightBrain holism,
longing to restore resilient peace,
wealth of health,
without division between LeftBrain’s sectarian divisions
between what is natural and what grows spiritual

Secular/Sacred cultural divides
grow invisibly transparent outside/inside contrasts
in ancient WilseElder RightBrain memory,
rooted in narcissistically sectarian and co-passioned experience,

WinWin v LoseLose,
political health v economic/ecological toxicity,

Domestic/Global co-passions,
bicultural
binomial
supported by multicultural cooperative responsibility
for actively pursuing health through positive passions.

Passion opens doors to external/internal,
even international/individual
compassionate ecopolitical health outcomes,
planning,
aspirations,
deep learning environmental incoming support
for further positive passion iterations

Deepening robust webs and buds of healthy future
secularLeft/sacredRight WiseElder evolutions,
DNA structurally supported
WinWin non-violent expectations
self-reported

Positive psychological
and political
holistic compassioned powers
polypathically as accessible as green organic grass.

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National Narcissism

Nationalism,
like other faces of narcissism,
speaks in ways devoid of integrity,
authenticity,
global transparency,
empathy,
active power and authority of and for,
from and toward, resilient energy,
compassionate wealth of health,
resonant power,
regenerative EarthPassion,
more like internationalism,
like other faces of multiculturalism

Psychological, and yet political,
neurological, and yet also economic,
ecological, but potentially E-CoOperative Networked,
messianic, yet also eco-bodhisattva theocratic,
non-violent and enthusiastically non-sectarian,
universal Yang with unitarian Yin,
LeftBrain bipolar, except within RightBrain dipolar, co-passioned,
ZeroSum secular Energy,
winning by also winning ZeroZone Light/Power sacred Source

Healthy paradigmatic systems
engaging intuitively wealthy FlowPower,
Here co-arising not not Now, again reiterating
WinWin 4D space within ZeroSum bilateral time-range

Political and economic arts of proportion,
balance,
symmetry,
ego/eco-passion
informed by LeftBrain articulating rational sciences,
deep learn authentic nutritional values
for yang’s democracy conserving system strengths
with yin’s compassionate energy/power,
liberally effluent, yet efficient, resilience

Across canvases
lyrics
indigenous choreography,
power and energy creation paradigms
multiculturing robust evolutionary flow charts
effectively co-operative reverse-hierarchies,
eco-art therapies for political and economic ego sanctuary,
co-passionate expression
Left with Right,
West with East,
North with South
polypathic multicultural power/energy
in ego’s Earth CoPassion

Communicating across resonant bilaterals
far more resiliently than nationalistic
ballistic narcissism’s
short-term
anti-empathic
survival of the not fit-iningest strategies.

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WhiteHouse Narcs

I’m hearing considerable chatter about patriarchal narcissism,
which is, indeed, absorbing and darkly fascinating;

But, I do wish we could invest at least twice as much energy
on analyzing climate therapeutic potential
of ecofeminist compassion,
re-synchronizing Time’s sacred-secular co-investments
re-combining healthy bicameral minds
re-linking wealthy co-passionate bodies,
domestic
and external.

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January Calendar

Opening a new 2019 calendar,
January unveils an Arctic Wildlife Refuge view
of glaciered mountains
behind a frozen river
surrounded by bedrocks
grey and bleak black
and rusty brown.

The Wilderness Society caption
claims this as our “treasured landscape
that the indigenous Gwich’in people” name,
proclaim?
“Sacred Place Where Life Begins.”

Rather than
The same old frigid and barren secular place
where any decent life
could only abruptly end
in hopeless frozen defeat.

This juxtaposition seems to capture essential compassionate v narcissistic
human destinies of choice.

Both Wildlife Refuge views
could be valid,
but the indigenous birthplace choice
to see opportunity
feels more integratively useful,
more communion sustainable,
resilient, rather than bitterly brittle.

The Dalai Lama teaches,
and presumably practices,
as have other messianic/bodhisattva re-creations,
a distinction between empathic pictures
and compassionate stories.

Empathy may associate with RightBrain feelings
of happiness and despair,
ecstasy through hopeless disenchantment,
with some Other
past,
present,
future,
human,
animal,
plant,
planet…

Compassion is more about LeftBrain planning
what I, we, cooperatively together
walking in newborn, reborn solidarity
will do to heal wounds, minimize risks,
and more resiliently sustain sacred opportunities
for unborn future life.

Empathy opens windows,
pictures,
landscapes,
refuges,
sanctuaries toward proactive
cooperative co-passion.

Practiced,
informed,
experienced,
trained,
educated,
supported development of co-responsibility,
integrity,

Synergetic vulnerability,
matriarchally cooperative wombs,
open life to empathy,
co-empathy,
eco-empathy with wounded and therapeutic lifelines,
compassionate rebirth conquering narcissistic pre-death

In 2019,
2020,
and so on.

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Health Economy

Systems,
cognitive and experiential,
spiritual and natural,
sacred and secular,
are paradigms,
mature revolutions and still partial evolutions,
with WinWin orthodox pretensions
and yet carrying our own WinLose seeds of destruction
dis-integration,
dissonance,
non-golden rules and irrational ratios
within as without,
yin as yang.

Planning systems clarify who or what “x” is
by deeply understanding how we healthy want
and wealthiest need
x to proceed, continue unfolding,
to evolve not-x, continue revolving,
to restore positive x/y therapeutic action.*

Paradigmatic practitioners evaluate outcomes at least annually,
especially during Advent,
before and after Winter Solstice,

Noticing which trends move us cooperatively
toward WinWin universal compassionate resilience

And which devolve too LeftBrain competitively
toward WinLose dissonant narcissism,
often supported by nationalistic
privileged paternalism,

By competitive over cooperative power-models of Evolution,

By faces of a regally distant
never-changing,
yet omnipresent, EarthCreator God,

By positive/negative health paradigms
emerging WholeSystem polypathic nutritional wealth
of GoldenRule compassion.

To trust other systems, living paradigms,
mature natural and spiritual humans,
co-passionately need to be cooperatively treated…

To act with integral allegiance
as we prefer to WinWin act with all y’s…

Cannot be done both violently and resiliently,
invalidly yet effectively,
competitively against each other,
without deeply listening to not-x,
without looking into our potential victim’s eyes,
without pro-actively extending compassion.

If we look together
at Earth’s modern history of global warfare,
We can see the primary outcome of WW1,
sowing the seeds for WW2.

WW2, however,
began sowing seeds of uniting nations
and universally non-sectarian EarthCare,
healing hate-mongered aggressive wounds
of white patriarchal privilege,
human climate of industrial supremacy,
LeftBrain deductive-reductive plutocracy.

Now, approaching 2020 historic revision
with a new WinWin potential integrity
for WWW post-millennial binomial capacity,
we can compassionately re-image WW3,
inviting each democratic heart
loyal to each cooperatively self-managed nation-state x
allied with all secular and/or sacred non-sectarian EarthTribes y
to embrace compassionate WholeSystem health care
for all climates
all paradigms
all histories and stories and creating cultures
of all compassionate light
revolutions
measuring eternal x
in orbits of bright
wounding and therapeutic Time, y.

Passionate peace longing to understand x
and non-violent surrounding y-compassions,
together x/y belonging,
integrity’s health
resilient wealth.

 

*Math Note: Where x is not any non-polynomial, non-rational paradigmatic y.

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Compassion for TeleMarketers

I’m still waiting for my first automated rifling phone call,
Scripted to begin:

Hello Gerald Oliver Dillenbeck!
What would you like to health invest in this wealthy day?

So I could answer with
Compassion, even for telemarketers
of narcissistic death technologies.

I’m still waiting for Donald John’s first non-automated
non-violent internal recall:

Hello Donald John!
What would we,
NorthAmerican democratic residents
and global Allies of Earth,
like to health invest in with you?
Pursuing WinWin outcomes,
today and every compassionate day and night
to lead by following deep silent “we” listening.

To let go of ego’s Narcissus fascination
To grab hold of reborn EarthMother compassion,
co-operative enchantment,

To uncover even more patience with mutual disenchantment,
disdain,
To discover loyalty to domestic and international non-violence,
To recover choice to avoid aggressive WinLose
and nihilistic LoseLose strategies
in blind and deluded bad faith
that short-term loss of nutritional sufficiency
is essential for eternal redemption.

Artifacts of steadfast compassion,
polypathic
polyphonic
multi-nomial
have never been found
in seeds of violence,
monotheistic or polytheistic
and all realistics in-between
elitism and compassion for narcissism
within and without,

Sometimes grieving for ignorant foolish sins and sinners
and sometimes briefly triumphant, manically ecstatic,
despite inevitable losses
to demon death.

Newborns bond most robustly without such fears
yet,
and most resiliently when matriarchal compassion
is not unduly compromised
by aggressive patriarchal corrections,
violent domestic warnings,
threats to defer and extinguish a positive
healthy
compassionate primal relationship.

MotherEarth,
Green Goddess Gaia,
AnimaMundi,
Holonic MatriarchalSpirit,
when newborn
and revolving toward future mature networks
of organically sustained lifelines,
experienced Her just-right sacred sanctuary space
and perpetually revolutionary NowTime
in FatherSun bright
and darkly outside night

CoPassion of a personal planet-wide resilience,
Her familial nature Spirit
historically emerges
from this compassionate positive light/dark nondualistic balance
more prominent than merely nurturing patriarchal narcissism,
cultural dominance,

Until YangLeft finally sleeps
longing to reconnect within YinRight’s dualdark matriarchal compassion.

Sacred or secular cooperative outcomes of compassion,
like health and climate care,
can be narcissist seen as ego-building experience.
Narcissism is not only egotistically privileged
but politically distorted against democratic principles
of nature/spirits, co-operative.

Autonomy of EgoManiacal obsessions
ignores both interdependent nurturing root systems
and future flowers of compassion’s healthy redevelopment,
healing narcissism’s past aggressions.

Gaian compassion,
EarthMother co-operativity,
EcoFeminist resilience,
personally salvific evinced
by historic political empowerment
in those days before a dangerously toxic distinction arose
between economic and ecological compassion,
One calling for more capital co-investment
and the other calling us toward global communion.

When HeteroSapiens were yet a NewBorn species,
a glint in Golden Ruler CoPassion eyes
of FatherSun
with MotherEarth’s cooperative light
already empowered ecotherapeutic compassion.

Meanwhile,
I’m still waiting for my first personal phone call
to begin:

Hello Gerald O Dillenbeck!
What would you like to compassionately invest in
this personal and political co-operating day?

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