Dear Sue,
I am remembering our strong negative responses
to the young woman who surreptitiously read
her aunt’s very private diary,
filled with vulnerable statements
of the most intimate nature
and transparently lusty spirit,
Yet, though secretive,
then took a bold black marker
and wrote vulgar, poisonous words
on most every previously locked and hidden page,
And yet, even here
she used her own judgmental inside voices
but wrote in her younger innocent brother’s hand.
We both found her choices highly distressing;
difficult to even read, imagine
squeamish to hear from a young niece perpetrator
or an old aunt victim.
I wonder if this is because we can empathize with both
the obstreperous and egocentric young, disturbed
with adult hidden and disruptively vulnerable agendas,
rebellions,
sometimes hedonistic
sometimes narcissistic,
usually both, back and forth
like yang then yin,
patriarchal power lust, then matriarchal depression
in response to chronic economic and political repression.
Do these actions,
intimate hidden self-disclosures
followed by a too yangishly adolescent monoculture’s mocking inspiration,
venomous uncaring,
toxically rapacious expressions,
aggressive actions and word choices,
with fully uncensored malicious intent,
speak to deep listening
yet camouflaged through deflection,
distraction,
political sleight of hand,
giving off responsibility to some,
most any, Other
our own wounded skeletons of silent memory?
Powers brought to a very exclusive co-arising table of one,
acting as a duplicitous two,
bipolar in passive-aggressive
depressive-manic responses
to surprising disclosures
of older, respected, staid hidden agendas
written by those we have truly loved
and hoped to continue loving
without remainder, reserve,
without this unexpected erupting hidden agenda
to protect ourselves from what feels creepy
too manic or paranoid,
smelling of hidden conspiracies
to express attraction
in ways deviant from our own proper expectations
for our own,
and Other’s, therapeutic integral behavior.
I thought of that wicked niece,
and our responses to her perfidy,
after a dream last night
in which Donald Trump
was writing curse words
with a bold black marker
in his dominant RightWing hand
all over his concrete wall
And then all over the original Jeffersonian Declaration
of Interdependence
away from white narcissistic,
patriarchal,
unenlightened royal privilege
And then Sorcerer’s Apprentice Trump
ruthlessly
blackly wrote dirty jingoisms on,
stabbing at,
our original Adams and Jeffersonian
compromised democratic constitution
Written with compassionate radical trust intention
trying to declare all creatures,
slave and free,
enlightened plants and planet,
equal in everyday enchanting dignity,
assuming great prosperity benefits of polycultural cooperative economies
internationally fertile,
valid,
effective for well-being
of all the people,
plants,
planet,
Still to this Trumpian day falling politically short,
still awaiting fulfillment
by those who can read and write more skillfully,
non-violently
less passive-aggressively,
less conspiratorially
less toxically enraged by WinLose multicultural losses
across the pages of our transparently democratic
yet divine
intent.
Anyway,
it seems we recognize this aversion to hidden narcissism
through empathy, cooperatively empassioned
in each other as a polypathic strength
strongly shared.
Thank you for speaking in solidarity
for a healthier, effluent ecofeminist affluent flow power
as we read across the pages of our own hopeful history books,
Still holding old school faith
found in each other’s passioned eyes and ears
and relentless spiritual-natural senses
of positive and negative and double-negative humors,
tumors benign and cancerous
rumors of magical queendoms
at our open liberal loving left hand,
Where agendas may be hidden
but not from shame or blame weapons
so much as reserved for our own tool-shaping pleasure
to disclose when and as we choose
and as our gifts for compassionate co-empathy
are most multiculturally needed,
exercised,
stretched toward optimally resonant
resilience for all people,
young nieces and old aunts certainly included,
and MotherTrees
and humbler passioned plants
and MotherLanded planet.
gdill52 